Definition of Insanity

When it comes to moving furniture on a budget you might wish your car was a TARDIS — but wishing will not make it so. 

One Sheffield family has valiantly attempted to fit a three-seater sofa in the back of their Ford Fiesta and a neighbour was there to (unhelpfully) capture their struggle. You’ve got to admire the family’s persistence and preparedness to experiment with the laws of physics while still keeping an eye on children playing by the side of the road.

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Much Better Ice Bucket Challenger

Much Better Ice Bucket Challenger

Gigi Hadid may have been stripping off – but it was all for a good cause.

But while the 19-year-old was selflessly raising awareness of a devastating disease, she may also have had an ulterior motive.

The model challenged her ex Cody Simpson to follow her lead and complete the ALS ice bucket challenge – and in so doing made sure he wouldn’t miss her bikini body. Blah blah boobies.

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NOOOOOOOO!!!!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Stormtroopers have been Daft Punk’d.

Much like our local police, Stormtroopers must keep up with the most modern of military equipment–to protect themselves from, say, dark, unarmed figures they think look threatening in a hood. So, for Star Wars: Episode VII, director J.J. Abrams has given the Empire soldiers some updated helmets with a very modern, streamlined makeover. Or at least that’s what it seems from these leaked images over at Indie Revolver, where they claim that this is the new look for the iconic, bumbling villains.

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Commonwealth Bank rips off customers, awards managers million dollar pay rises

Commonwealth Bank rips off customers, awards managers million dollar pay rises

Victims of the Commonwealth Bank’s financial planning scandal have slammed as ‘‘obscene’’ and ‘‘devastating’’ the multimillion-dollar pay packets pocketed by executives in charge of the troubled division.

Grahame Petersen and Annabel Spring received million-dollar pay rises and big cash bonuses despite a Senate inquiry that called for a royal commission after allegations of fraud, forgery and a management cover-up in the unit.

Mr Petersen, who ran the division between 2006 and 2011 when it employed rogue planners such as Don Nguyen, got more than $5.6 million – a pay rise of more than $1.1 million.

via CBA rewards bosses of scandal-ridden financial planning division.

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A screenshot of a 4chan post has sold for over $90,000

A screenshot of a 4chan post has sold for over $90,000

Although 4chan is predominantly known (erroneously, these days) as the home of child pornography, gore, and memes, it’s mostly home to frustrated people who, every now and then, create something amazing. Whether it’s the post-your-soundclouds threads on the music board /mu/ or the artwork/critique on /ic/, there are some pretty clever folks who frequent that particular shithole. Some particularly ingenious user has spawned commentary on the definition of art by taking a screenshot of a post and auctioning it. And sold it for $90,900.

via TheVine – A screenshot of a 4chan post has sold for over $90,000 – Life & pop culture, untangled.

Right clicking is now an art heist.

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Microsoft Cloud – as reliable as Windows 8

Microsoft Cloud – as reliable as Windows 8

Microsoft’s Azure cloud computing platform, wobbly for more than a week, is again experiencing outages and interruptions that are impacting multiple products in the U.S. and abroad.

Monday’s problems started at close to 2 p.m. U.S. Eastern Time and at their peak affected about 10 services, including Cloud Services, Virtual Machines and Websites, according to information posted by Microsoft on its Azure status website.

At about 4:15 p.m. ET Microsoft had started to remedy some of the outages and interruptions, but still had a ways to go to get the situation under control and bring the platform to a normal status.

For example, at that time Cloud Services, where customers build, deploy and manage apps on the Azure cloud, was still experiencing performance and availability problems in four out of the six U.S. regions of the platform, in Japan and in Brazil. Simultaneously, Virtual Machines, which lets customers deploy Windows Server, Linux, or third-party software images to Azure, was struggling even more broadly in geographic terms, up only in two of the Azure global regions.

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Chinese bastards – you want some soy with that – or just a port

Chinese bastards – you want some soy with that – or just a port

Mining magnate and Senate powerbroker Clive Palmer has unleashed a startling rant against China, describing its government as “mongrels” who shoot their own people and want to take over Australia.

Mr Palmer is currently fighting two court cases against Chinese firm Citic Pacific, who claim $12 million in royalty payments were improperly siphoned off to pay for Mr Palmer’s election campaign.

When asked about the case, Mr Palmer launched into an attack on what he called the “communist Chinese government” and their attempts to take over Australia’s ports.

“I don’t mind standing up against the Chinese bastards and stopping them from doing it,” Mr Palmer said during ABC’s Q and A program on Monday night.

 

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Now this is how you do ‘court’.

Now this is how you do ‘court’.

The plaintiff, Steven James Whiting, commenced proceedings in this court on 22 July 2014 by filing a claim and statement of claim. In the claim he described himself as “His Royal Highness, King of the Whiting Kingdom, Baron of the Whiting Region, King Steven 1 ATF Steven James Whiting”.
In the claim he described his claim as “Compensation for damages caused by the actions of the defendants. Specifically restoration of my children to my care immediately.

He elected trial by jury. He described himself as I have set out and then said that he was “A self-represented Applicant exhausting his last peaceful avenues, before declaration of war.

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Another pathetic loser using religion to excuse his thuggery

Another pathetic loser using religion to excuse his thuggery

A teenage supporter of the terrorist group Islamic State, who gained notoriety after an appearance on television last week, has been arrested over an alleged religious attack on a cleaner at a western Sydney shopping centre.

In an incident that will raise fears of growing violence in Australia, the 19-year-old, who goes by the Islamic alias Abu Bakr, allegedly verbally abused, threatened and intimidated a 43-year-old cleaner at the Bankstown Central shopping centre on August 10.

He was kicked out of the centre by security but allegedly returned 1½ hours later and again abused the man, who was still cleaning.

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A dickhead is a dickhead. This guy, massive dickhead.

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Gives a new meaning to bonin’

Gives a new meaning to bonin’

HAMILTON COUNTY, Ohio – A man who worked in a morgue admitted to having sex with female corpses while at work, federal officials said.

Kenneth Douglas, of Hamilton Co. , Ohio,  admitted in court that he sexually abused three corpses while he was drunk or on drugs, but he had sex with up to 100 bodies, he said in a deposition.

“I would just get on top of them and pull my pants down,” said Douglas, who worked the night shift at the morgue from 1976 to 1992.

 

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His poor poor wife.

Oh yeah.

This pervert was married.

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Jonathan Koppenhaver, worlds biggest douchebag

Jonathan Koppenhaver, worlds biggest douchebag

A porn star who was put in the hospital after she says she was beaten by her MMA fighter ex-boyfriend has released a statement detailing her experience.

Las Vegas police say Christy Mack was left with severe, but not life-threatening, injuries early Friday morning when she was confronted and beaten by MMA fighter Jonathan Koppenhaver, who brawls under the name War Machine.

Koppenhaver, who has also performed in porn, is still on the run.

In a statement sent to The Huffington Post, Mack tells her story of what happened and details her injuries that resulted:

At about 2 am Friday morning, Jon Koppenhaver arrived unannounced to my home in Las Vegas, NV, after he broke up with me in May, he moved out of my house and back to San Diego. When he arrived, he found myself and one other fully clothed and unarmed in the house. Without a single word spoken, he began beating my friend; once he was finished, he sent my friend away and turned his attention to me. He made me undress and shower in front of him, then dragged me out and beat my face.

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About this 18C law

About this 18C law

In a move that shocked Andrew Bolts everywhere, Prime Minister Tony Abbott this week announced that he was no longer pursuing a repeal to section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act.

He framed the decision to give it up as a “leadership call”, making him sound strong and principled even though that was pretty much the opposite of what it was. (Try using that phrase in your real life! “I made a leadership call to trip over that bit of floor.” “I made a leadership call to have my identity stolen and my bank accounts cleared.”)

So why all the fuss? Or, more accurately, why all the media articles about people-being-fussed-even-though-we-can’t-really-find-anyone-who-doesn’t-have-a-nationally-syndicated-column-and-television-show-and-whose-name-rhymes-with-Shmandrew-Jolt-who-cares-about-it?

18C of the Racial Discrimination Act says that it is unlawful for a person to perform an act in public that is reasonably likely to offend, insult, humiliate or intimidate a person or a group of people on the basis of their race, colour, nationality or ethnicity.

This is, of course, a massive blow to free speech, much in the same way that not being allowed to accuse your business competitors of being child pornographers, or shout “fire” in a crowded theatre also impinges on our ability to say whatever we want whenever we want.

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Tony Abbott, what a fuckwit

Tony Abbott, what a fuckwit

Freedom loving Tony Abbott has done it again, this time insulting almost half the Scottish population over an upcoming referendum on secession. Chris Graham reports.

Ladies and Gentleman, the world might just have found its new George W. Bush. Albeit without the muscle of the US. Or the nuclear weapons. Or the economy. Or the international recognition. Or anything like the power.

But the swagger and the international derision… well, it’s there in spades.

Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has decided to weigh into Scottish politics, giving a startling interview to The Times newspaper in which he labeled people who wanted Scotland to secede from the United Kingdom as ‘enemies of freedom and justice’.

And that, according to two years worth of polls, includes almost half the Scottish population.

Voters in Scotland will go to a referendum in mid-September, to determine whether or not Scotland should remain part of the UK. While in London earlier this week, Abbott gave The Times a statement full of the sort of ‘freedom loving’ rhetoric for which George W Bush became infamous.

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Australian government continues to go backward

Australian government continues to go backward

The government of Queensland, Australia is just beginning to implement a new energy policythat changes the way businesses are charged for electricity, a policy that the solar industry says is designed to make sure businesses have no reason to install commercial-scale rooftop solar panels.

According to a report in RenewEconomy, the policy reduces the price of actual energy consumption for businesses, but increases the price for energy service in general. That “service fee” has made it so businesses that were originally charged $42 dollars a day are now being charged $488 a day. With the area’s Goods and Services Tax, that amounts to a charge of $533 every day for electricity use. Prices on energy consumption have fallen to 10.4 cents per kilowatt hour from 11.6 center per kilowatt hour, the report said.

This fee is “horrifying” members of the solar industry, the report said, because now businesses have no monetary incentive to lower their electricity consumption by installing solar panels or investing in energy efficiency machinery and lighting.

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Now it’s Whirlpools turn

Now it’s Whirlpools turn

A financial services business licenced through National Australia Bank is suing an online forum for refusing to remove an allegedly fake and negative post about its services, claiming it has damaged its reputation with would-be clients.

It is the latest legal action launched against an online forum or review website for publishing negative comments, following several high profile cases in Australia and overseas.

Financial advice group WCS Group has initiated action against Whirlpool in the Supreme Court of Victoria, seeking unspecified damages and costs, despite the fact the forum generates no revenue.

If the lawsuit is successful, it could essentially bankrupt the forum, which claims to have almost 650,000 members but makes no money.

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Legend or idiot?

Legend or idiot?

A former live-in caretaker of a Pittsburgh-area mansion drank over $102,000 worth of old whiskey which he was supposed to be looking after. Unfortunately, the whiskey caused his death since it was too old and not safe for consumption.

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Dude goes ape shit over cheese steak denial

Dude goes ape shit over cheese steak denial

A teenager upset that his friends didn’t invite him over to eat cheesesteaks inHellertown allegedly dragged one of his buddies down a flight of stairs and kicked the victim in the face, according to court records.

Police say William Joseph Hitchcock-Sahr Jr., 18, of the first block of Kiernan Avenue, called Brandon Ridgick on Monday and found out Ridgick and two others were hanging out in the 100 block of Northampton Street eating cheesesteaks.

Hitchock-Sahr dragged Ridgick down a flight of stairs and broke multiple facial bones by kicking him in the face, authorities say. Hellertown police say Ridgick’s face was “deformed” and bloodied from the assault.

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I am Aussie and I have no fucking idea what a cheesesteak is either. Apparently they are these are big rolls full of cheese and meat like pictured above. It’s like a povo kebab.

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