Animal rights nuts protest at Biker convention… with predictable results

Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

It’s Friday somewhere in the world.

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I AM POKEY THE PENGUIN! I LIKE TO READ BOOKS! EVERY MORNING I PRACTICE KUNG FU!!

14 comments on “Animal rights nuts protest at Biker convention… with predictable results”

  1. That_Bloke

    Motorcycle riders wear leather because it’s breathable & provides a good degree of protection, synthetic materials that offer that level of protection usually aren’t as breathable & their production probably in some way leads to the harm of more animals & plant life anyway.

    It’s a matter of practicality, plain & simple

  2. kré

    yeah that’ll work. fucking tards.

  3. EvilMuppet

    Hilarious and awesome.

  4. Ozhair

    Darwin Award nominations must be starting early this year…

  5. Asmodeus

    you have to love the sense of self entitlement to most of these cockmonkeys: “we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”. Hahahah who the fuck cares what the protesters think, and who are they to try to push their views on others. its like the fucking christians or something. bahahhaaha

  6. cypher1024

    As funny as this is, (like the DVD rewinder), I suspect that it is not entirely genuine…

  7. bobdown

    What?!?!…no being dragged behind a 1000cc pan head.

    At least it would’ve given protesters a better respect for a full set of leathers :8:

  8. Junior Farter

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Real or not somebody buy those men (the bikies/writers) a beer!

  9. backscratcher

    Oh Lordy, lordy, lordy that was the funniest article I have read in ages :D “La Trene” hahahahahahaha

  10. crazy_dude

    Sounds like another Onion satire.

  11. Marchpig

    Well that got the ol’ belly rollin’, secret handshake indeed!

  12. Fuzzy Dice

    Upon closer inspection, these are loafers, I mean, satire.

    Which is a bit of a let down, but it was still a good read. Animal rights ‘activists’ tend to give me a case of the angries. I dislike it when people become emotionally involved in a cause they have not bothered to properly research, let alone consider the implications of success.

  13. katana

    Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.This is one of tose events where you just say to yourself. “God damn I wish I was there with a camera”, but you might just be pissing yourself laughing all of the shots would be blury from camera shake

  14. Hairyman

    Silly cunts.

    Where can we get more o the newsimg?

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