I farted

Yup, and I will do it again.

No one can stop me.

Not even a diet change. I am going to fart. I love farting. I love to go into the server room at work and farting. The mass of air conditioning and noise in there hides and disperses it. Unfortunately it sometimes brings the network down.

When I am home, I like to strategically place my bum muffins around the house so people can walk into them at their own leisure. I am also a big believer in fermentation. If I am going to visit a friend or relative I don’t like (which is all of them) I won’t fart for days before hand. Just so when I do take that massive dump into their suddenly non-flushing toilet, I can pop out a savory bum snack for whoever has to deal with it.

I also like to run into a room just after a turd and knock one out so people can get a true feeling of my bathroom experience.

When I am visiting people I make sure to fart loudly. Usually into a vase, urn or child’s face. This ensures not only do I experience relief, but I am not longer forced to waste my precious time at dinner parties.

So yeah. I farted and as soon as I figure out how to embed one on ZGeek. I am going to be king.