I’m in a decent relationship right now. It’s been two months and there have been no really big arguments. She scratches my head nonstop, gives me awesome massages, and even brings me food when I’m too worn out from work to go anywhere.
Since moving out on my own, she gave me even better advice on how to do my laundry than my grandmother did.
“Okay Justin, here’s what grandma does..”
She then bends over to separate the clothes, accidentally farts but doesn’t notice it.
“First, you do what my school did when I was a little one. You separate the whites from the colored.”
Thanks racist grandma.
I don’t get to see my girflriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it’s almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn’t make for much time to see her. When I do find time to see her, I fly from work to her house going 90 in a 55 MPH zone.
That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I’ve just been pulled over.
The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual “license and registration, please”. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying…
Not really news, but a quite funny story. Like something I would do!