Tresha hunting

Posted by Pirate on Dec 28, 2010 in News | 8 comments

This is an article I wrote back when we started ZGeek. I found it on a backup disk and so I am loading it back onto the site.

All this weekend I have been searching for treasure.. Though I found no gold balloons I did find some good stuff.

This is Matt, from here on in he is referred to as “Tresha boy”. Matt hails from a family of weirdos and is quite often found in neighbours bins looking for “Treasure”. Once we found a 1 kilo bag of his “Treasure”. For this, he was severely beaten, lunched apon and painted red.

“Tresha Boy” has only 3 countable fingers and an inverted toe in his lower ear canal, if you see him please talk loudly and in a silly American accent or Tresha boy will not understand you.

After meeting at the “Tresha Cave” we sat and watched Star Wars. This is a good movie, I understand not many people have heard of it nor seen it, but if you do have a chance I would recommend it.

As known in certain circles, we have a right-fucking-great-big setup movie theater in the Tresha Cave. Star Wars on the big screen… It gives me wood just thinking about it… fwwwwoooooaaaaaaaarrrr!!! BRING ME CUSTARD! BRING ME CUSTARD!…

Sorry about that, when you combine Star Wars + Big Screen + Tresha, it = CUSTARD

It was during this torrid movie of beast love and droid sex, I had an idea to spend my weekend looking for Treasure. I often thought that it would be nice to find a lot of treasure and not share it with anyone else. I could tease the homeless with my vast wealth. I know I am a bastard, but I simply don’t care.

I sat and thought for a moment, after I woke up I had an idea!.. I will go and wait for some treasure to fall from a passing areoplane. So it was off to Newtown for me.

This was almost thwarted but Mr Slowfuck in the fast lane. GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY MR SLOWFUCK! I KILL YOU, I KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR LIVER MR SLOWFUCK!!… and after I was forced to ram this bastard off the road. I continued my trip.

After I got to Newtown, I sat and waited for my fortune to start falling for the sky. Let me demonstrate how to wait for treasure. While beating your own version of “Tresha Boy”, you say “Dum – de, dum -de, dum”.

I saw my first plane….. Result = $0.00. I suspect this plane was full of dead people. There are some countries that can’t deal with all their dead citizens, so they put them on planes to fly around the world until they are lost. So next time you get on a plane, make sure that there are no dead people under your seat or in the over-head locker.

After a while I saw my second plane, again this one had only dead bodies in it and no treasure… booooring!

After brain storming with my consultant Tresha Boy we though… “Hmmm where is all the treasure hidden?” IN THE OCEAN!!!… so off we went. We knew that those pesky scuba divers are always finding treasure underwater, so our idea was to be-friend one of these and steal his/her treasure.

I was the first to get in disguise… I dressed myself as a rude merchant banker. These are commonly found at beaches and lurking around public toilets or preschools.

Tresha boy was voted to be our “friendly diver”.. so he put on his disguise and went to work.

We took our Uncle Wang’s van and made into a real looking diving van. We looked the part and were ready for action, at this point Tresha boy decided to give me one of his “random lovings” and it took me a good 30 minutes to regain my senses and wipe the blood from my head.

This here is a picture of our van, made to lure the treasure laden divers. Soon we found some nice and friendly divers, they obviously had some treasure so tresha boy went to work.

When asked about treasure, these divers suddenly went quiet and exchanged glances. A sure sign they had TREASURE!.. Tresha boy quickly searched the young female for any treasure.

Unfortunately before we could start searching the other diver, the local law turned up and promptly “moved us on”. Tresha boy is still recovering at the local Vets.

So back home we traveled, with out any treasure… or so I thought!

WE FOUND TREASURE!!!!!…. it was so easy to find!.. just look in the gutter next time you are walking.