can't stand it

[Diva]

I am so sick of being in pain. I have been in pain for years now and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight.

it has become significantly worse since my most recent operation (last December), which was my 10th. The implant I had put in then to control my medical problem has caused endless problems for me. Although it has settled down now compared to the first 3 months, I'm still in pain all the time - it is just more intense at sometimes than others. I feel like someone is inside me, stabbing with a knife

chronic illness and chronic pain are just so fucked. I don't know whether to scream until my voice goes, curl up in a ball and cry, or just try to ignore it the way I have been (which obviously isn't working very well today). My options are to take prescription painkillers (which I don't want to do, bad side effects), or have the implant removed which means I'll revert back to the problems I had before the operation, or just put up with it.

I'm so fucking over this. surely it is someone else's turn to have to put up with this shit for a while. I've well and truly had my turn by now (and a few other peoples too I think :rolleyes: )

I want a whole nights sleep, without waking up in agony.
I want a whole day that is pain free from when I get up to when I go to sleep.
I want to live without the side effects of my fucked up medication.
I want to live without internal bleeding for months at a time.
I'd like a year when I don't have to have surgury.

*sigh* at least I've started going to dancing again, I wasn't able to for most of the year. My fitness levels have decreased because I've been unable to do anything for months now. It is amazing how quickly you can become unfit, yet how long it takes to build up again. actually, it sucks.

and in lieu of being able to scream at work, I'll use this little smiley :swear:

venting seems to help release stress a bit at least

[RaZ]

I feel for ya Diva, and also know how it feels.
esp the being unfit due to operations and such !!

I hope you do get well tho !!

*hug*

[LauraleeBug]

Damn, Diva.... I am sorry to hear it...

As someone who lives with someone in a similiar circumstance (albeit for a different reason) I can attest to the sheer frustration of chronic pain...

It also hurts for those close to you to see you that way, but I am not naive enough to believe that because I am there to witness it, that the pain does not exist, which is why I have the strength to stay... Also, it is not *me* who is the one going thru it... So, I just try to "be there"..... :)

I can't offer anything other than to listen and let you know I hear you (and of course, not to mention, "if you ever need me...").

What I try to do with Android (my bf, the one to whom the above refers) is to remind him to enjoy his life those brief times when he is NOT in pain; as sometimes just knowing that you may feel good now - but not later - is a real bummer.... But try not to let it consume your life when it's not there; even though it is only a temporary reprieve.

I wish I had something more positive to say; but then again, I hope you feel better mentally at least just to have ranted and acknowledged...

Feel better, Diva, my friend.... :)

[Diva]

thanks guys. I was just really having a vent, and it helped a lot. I haven't slept properly in over a week, and chronic pain is one of those things that you really can't share with others - they may understand on one level but unless they experience it themselves they will never really understand what it is like.

it also pisses me off that all my specialists are male, and can never actually experience what I go through.

I think I'll keep this thread around for when I want to scream




aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Al]

Originally posted by Diva
chronic pain is one of those things that you really can't share with others

Not without a sledgehammer no...

My mother had chronic migranes in the past that would leave her in bed for the entire weekend. So although I don't understand your pain I do understand it's fucked up.

[Nandragon]

As Bug said we can only sypathize with you.

I don't know you. But I know you well enough to know that you are more than informed than we are.

I can tell you the months of yuck I went thru up to my hysterics-ectomy. My GYN told me "we can try and preform miracles"....hell no I said.

Best thing since White on rice!

We wish you the best.

[Drakin]

When your specialist asks you "how the pain is?" ask your specialists if they would mind taking an empathy test..?

Then chuck a bucket of water over them and point to the areas where you feel pain, using say a car battery and jumper leads.. :D

"It hurts here..BZZZZZZT!"
"And here..BZZZZT!"

Repeat as needed.

[nosedog]

Here's something that will make you laugh Diva:

http://www.jimwolftechnology.com/n2okit.gif

[kleph]

well, i wish there was something i could do to help. about the best i can offer is that since i joined zgeek i've had a pain in my ass.

[antiwar]

i would suggest marijuana for chronic pain .
buy some herb and bake some cakes , excellent pain relief.play your cards right and you might get it free

[Davo_Dinkum]

/me hugs teh Diva.

I'm alittle late, but hey.

[Tomsy]

Holy thread revival Batman!