Urinals

[iaidoka]

I would like to take this time to make a complaint against the humble urinal.

Who was the mighty bathroom wizard of urine who decided that nothing would be more logical and plesant than having a big shiney wall where men may step forth and commune while waving around their dicks ?

Somehow, surely it must of been a female that came up with this concept. What male willingly wants to socialize while having a piss ?

The only other alternative in the mens bathroom is having a piss in the toilet stalls.. however although it is a valid option, there is a generally accepted "shame", if you will , of taking the lesser path.

Anyway. thats my thaught of the day.

[dwarfthrower]

Humans are - by nature - social creatures. All humans must piss. Therefore it would stand to reason that humans are naturally inclined to be sociable while pissing as well as while not pissing.

I'm afraid I have to ask: What have you got to hide?

[katana]

I blame it on the Romans what is with communal shit houses with no walls.jaust a bench and a drain under it.

[iaidoka]

I have nothing to hide, I just dont particullary like men enough to wave my dick amongst them.

[dwarfthrower]

Originally posted by iaidoka
I just dont particullary like men enough to wave my dick amongst them.

I feel sorry for you. You're missing out on one of the great joys of manhood. What's the point of having a willy if you can't waggle it about in the company of other willy-enabled persons?

[PullMyFinger]

Play this (http://www.flasharcade.com/game.cgi?urinal) Flash game to test your urinal etiquette.

Careful... it's tough!

[dozer]

did anyone go to school with a kid that would pull their pants down to their ankles and stand there bare arsed?

or were u that kid?

[hazza]

wtf...

ok now your really asian, ur obviously got a small dick. haha jk non flame post, was a joke.


whats the whole idea that showing ur wang is bad, its just a muscle with some skin, if society didnt deem it taboo no one would care.

[RadGnome]

Originally posted by dozer
did anyone go to school with a kid that would pull their pants down to their ankles and stand there bare arsed?

or were u that kid?

No never saw that, but I remember going to school with kids who would: Purposely piss on the legs of neigbouring fellow urinal users.
Use a neat little trick to piss upwards onto the ceiling
Do helicopters around the toilet floor instead of in the urinal
Did a turd in a urinal
Throwing wet toilet paper at the ceiling such that the celiing is almost covered in lumpy splattered paper.
Pushed people into the toilets for the opposite gender

We could probably have an entire thread devoted to school toilet block mischief.

[kré]

werd. i fucking hate these things.

if i am standing next to you at a trough and you talk to me, you are getting pissed on. no questions asked.

[still life]

Originally posted by dozer
did anyone go to school with a kid that would pull their pants down to their ankles and stand there bare arsed?

or were u that kid?

... someone went to school with bluntman

[peril]

FULLY!

there's something about blokes talking to me while I have my dick in my hand that makes me feal a bit un-easy :p

(generaly I'm quite easy, just not cheap ;) )



:p

[Afta Image]

I must agree, I am there to do my duties, I dont want to have a conversation, besides, most mens toilets stink, who wants to spend anymore time in there than you have to????

[Up_All_Night]

I'm a guy that either goes in the corner or in a stall

I dunno its just, yeah I don't likehaving guys with their cocks out while i have mine out on either side of me.


what really freaks me out is when ya out and you walk into a mens room and there's a dude showing other guys his cock piercings. And no i don't hang out at homo places or places with lots of homo's just normal nigthclubs.

[utopian]

Troughs are a scourge upon restrooms everywhere and should be eliminated. Individual urinals aren't too much better. It's the same thing, a bunch of guys standing shoulder to shoulder with their cock in their hands.

I prefer to use a cubicle even when urinating, just that bit of extra comfort knowing that no one's going to look over at me, pee on me, talk to me or do anything to interrupt that private moment I'm having.

[MisterBishi]

Fuck that shit. I mean, troughs suck a little, but nowhere near as much as the insecure pin-pricks that use the cubicle for a piss, especially when they don't lift the seat.

There are four urinals on our floor at work, and four cubicles, and each time I need to drop those under-achieving, drug selling Cosby kids off at the pool, some insecure, degenerate low-life has pissed on the seat.

How about, you either lift the seat, OR STOP HIDING YOUR SKINNY TADGER AND USE THE URINAL.

I bet you're the same fucknuckle who goes on about your ideal job being a Porn Star. Well, if you're worried about getting your cock out when nobody else gives a flying fuck, then you've got no chance of filling Jenna Jameson full of Mighty White.

[Chrissy]

I think this thread is sexist

[MisterBishi]

Of course it's not sexist you fucking idiot.

[Bostonmess]

Women can use urinals too, there was on link on here a bit back.

[Asmodeus]

Originally posted by utopian
I prefer to use a cubicle even when urinating, just that bit of extra comfort knowing that no one's going to look over at me, pee on me, talk to me or do anything to interrupt that private moment I'm having.

i use teh urinal right next to the cube so i can aim a stream under teh wall and piss on the persons shoes

thr trough is bad, but at least its not round, so you have to look at someone in front of you while pissing, or worse, deal with the over eager pisser who wants to launch a 20 foot stream.

[boozer]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
but at least its not round, so you have to look at someone in front of you while pissing

I thought I'd found a few of these in Germany....not too many people used that wash basin after I'd been to the toilet.

I don't have any issues with urinals though - I've never noticed anyone ogling at my cock and I don't mind a bit of chatter when I'm a half cut. My biggest issue with urinals is wading around in other people's piss. Gimmie one of those grates that allows you to walk out over the piss and you've made my day - hell, give me a urinal with todays newspaper mounted above it and you've made my week.

[wolfpac181]

Originally posted by dozer
did anyone go to school with a kid that would pull their pants down to their ankles and stand there bare arsed?

or were u that kid?

WERE???? Still am:P

[sperm]

At my work there are two cubicles, and the urinal is wide enuff for two guys to piss standing shoulder to shoulder.

But I intentionall stand dead middle of the urinal, leaving no room next to me, forcing late comers to go piss in the stalls !

Its bad enuff I got to put up with these saps all day long, I aint going to see their shrivelled finger, or go to their lame xmas pissups ! :grr:


BTW - I have very strong recollections in grade 1 primary school of hiding under a table, and then upon request, flashing myself to the girls as the peeked under the table :D

[ShadowNemesis]

I bet you guys were also the ones who tried to pee their initials on the wall or had comps to see who could pee the furtherest as well?:barf:

[sperm]

Originally posted by ShadowNemesis
I bet you guys were also the ones who tried to pee their initials on the wall or had comps to see who could pee the furtherest as well?:barf:

Would it make you any happier if we pissed YOUR initials on the wall instead ? (and probably your phone number :D )

Go dwell on your penis envy somewhere else :p

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by sperm
Would it make you any happier if we pissed YOUR initials on the wall instead ? (and probably your phone number :D )

Go dwell on your penis envy somewhere else :p


If it makes you happy, go ahead:rolleyes:. Penis envy is something I don't have:D . Sorry to disappoint you sperm. :p

[sperm]

Originally posted by ShadowNemesis
If it makes you happy, go ahead:rolleyes

It'll frighten you too much to know what makes me happy :evil cackle:

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by sperm
It'll frighten you too much to know what makes me happy :evil cackle:

As long as it doesn't involve kids.............:p

[sperm]

Originally posted by ShadowNemesis
As long as it doesn't involve kids.............:p

kids dont make you happy ? I thought you were a mother, they can do the cutest things !

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by sperm
kids dont make you happy ? I thought you were a mother, they can do the cutest things !

Yep, they do really cute things SOMETIMES. Sending their sister to the doctor in pain and making her have to have abdominal ultrasounds is not cute though. Neither is putting stuff on the school server when you are not supposed to have access.

But on the other hand, when a four year old takes an afternoon nap just so she can sit up and watch Jackie Chan........that's cute.

[jacko]

piss trough -bad points are splash back 8/10

one man urinal- bad points , no where to place your beer5/10

two man urinal- bad points , crowding but if you need a drink & smoke you can get your mate to hold your dick for you (optional)2/10

tree - no bad points at one with nature , nice breeze ,may get cold in winter 9/10
and regardless of which one you use its considered bad equitte to have an optic nerve on ya mates mister wobbley and you can be considered a poof and recieve death by public stoning
:grr:

[oracle]

I believe a little Maddox is in order.

Bathroom Politics: How to avoid getting your ass kicked (http://maddox.xmission.com/bpolitics.html)

[dwarfthrower]

Originally posted by utopian
I prefer to use a cubicle even when urinating, just that bit of extra comfort knowing that no one's going to look over at me, pee on me, talk to me or do anything to interrupt that private moment I'm having.

I bet you sit down to piss.

[utopian]

I only sit down to piss if I'm taking a shit. Otherwise I stand up, lift the seat, do my business, and put the seat and lid down.

[iaidoka]

I only lift the seat if its possible to do so with my foot. No way in hell am i touching ANYTHING in the bathroom with my hands that isnt part of me!

[Chocoholic]

Originally posted by iaidoka
I only lift the seat if its possible to do so with my foot. No way in hell am i touching ANYTHING in the bathroom with my hands that isnt part of me!
Even in your own home?

I have had this conversation with a male friend of mine and he believes most boys sit to piss at home for long pisses or after a day on their feet and just won’t admit it.

[oracle]

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you... Your male friend is gay.

Edit: Spelling.

[robotoverflow]

Originally posted by Chocoholic
Even in your own home?

I have had this conversation with a male friend of mine and he believes most boys sit to piss at home for long pisses or after a day on their feet and just won’t admit it.
This is stupid logic. It takes more effort to sit down and get up than to just stand in front of a toilet. Besides, it's relaxing no matter how you do it, so why not take advantage of standing there and have fun trying to see how many laps you can do around the bowl?

[robotoverflow]

Originally posted by oracle
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you... You male friend is gay.
I concur

[Asmodeus]

Originally posted by ShadowNemesis
I bet you guys were also the ones who tried to pee their initials on the wall or had comps to see who could pee the furtherest as well?:barf:

forget distance, we went for height

[Drakin]

Originally posted by Peregrine
This is stupid logic. It takes more effort to sit down and get up than to just stand in front of a toilet. Besides, it's relaxing no matter how you do it, so why not take advantage of standing there and have fun trying to see how many laps you can do around the bowl?

At home due to the placement of the mirror and the medicine cabinet if i am standing in front the toilet i am forced to look straight at myself pissing. Needless to say there are times when i dont want to watch myself take a piss, at these times, dump or not, i'll happily sit and look at the towel rack.

[dozer]

i think cubicle pissers must be fighting the urge to check out cock at the urinal so they feel more comfortable in the barriers.

pissing sitting down is not acceptable

[dwarfthrower]

Cubicle pissers take up valuable cubicles that are the rightful property of those needing to take a shit. Imagine having a turtle-head poking out and finding all the crappers occupied by nancy-boys who are so insecure as to by frightened of being OMG "talked to" while taking a leisurely slash.

People who piss in the cubicles - unless really busting and all the urinals and wash-basins are taken - are the same sort of people who park in disabled car parking spaces.

[iaidoka]

feh its not like taking a piss takes that much time. be patient.. you shouldnt be in THAT much of a dire need for a shit that you cant wait 1 freaking minute

[oracle]

A turtle-head? If you reach that stage, you sir, have problems.

Fact is, if i wanted to use a urinal, I'd have one installed in my house... but I don't.

[utopian]

Originally posted by dwarfthrower
People who piss in the cubicles - unless really busting and all the urinals and wash-basins are taken - are the same sort of people who park in disabled car parking spaces.
This is the only time this sort of behaviour is acceptable. If there's a free spot at a trough, I'll take it as long as it's not shoulder to shoulder.

I NEED MY SPACE, PEOPLE >_<

[kré]

Originally posted by dwarfthrower
People who piss in the cubicles - unless really busting and all the urinals and wash-basins are taken - are the same sort of people who park in disabled car parking spaces.

uh...how's about no?

[dwarfthrower]

Originally posted by cray
uh...how's about no?

Another cubicle fairy eh? Sneaky, furtive little creatures. It must take years of serious psychological damage to not be able to face taking a communal slash and sharing a nicely slurred "Owyagoinmateorright?" with your urinal buddies.

[Colonel Kurtz]

Urinals, and toilets in general, are a good example of the differences between men and women.

For men, it is simply a necessary function. Get in, dump a load, empty the bladder, get the fuck out, and hope nothin embarrassing like seeing another guys tockley happens along the way.:fart:

For women it is a social interaction, they always go in, in at least pairs, chat, do makeup, talk about boys, fingerbang each in the stalls. Well Okay the last ones doesnt happen much, but guys like to think that's why they spend so much time in there. Are they helping each other with their tampons, or is it because the herd metality of safety in numbers to save them from rogue toilet lesbians?:eek:

Remember as a man, the world is your urinal...... :D

P.S. Smilies....what's the difference between AAH :aah: and EEK :eek:? maybe we could swap one for an EMBARRASED or ASHAMED.....

[Misao]

OK, I admit it!
I don't use the urinal. I am scared what people would think when they see that I don't just have a very small weener, I actually have NO WEENER AT ALL!
And I am so embarassed about that fact, because it mean I have to crouch above the stalls to pee! And when I do that, people look at me very strangely....

[utopian]

No girls allowed in this thread. There's a thread about tampons somewhere, why don't you go and dig that up?

[Colonel Kurtz]

Originally posted by utopian
No girls allowed in this thread. There's a thread about tampons somewhere, why don't you go and dig that up?
Grabs helmet and hunkers down in bunker.....

[Misao]

*Fire in the hole*

/me starts pelting tampons over the bunker

[dwarfthrower]

A link for all you soft-cocks that can't pee like a man (women excluded from being required to pee like men)

http://www.restrooms.org/page02r.html

[GeeWhiz]

The main problem I have with cubical pissers is that they tend to piss all over the seat so that in the event of ones need to facilitate poo urination there’s no where to sit…

Unless you like shit running down your leg as you “poorinate” (becuase you dont want to sit on a golden seat) I suggest using the giant metal drain, also known as a “urinal” to piss in.

[4ndr01d]

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/071503/the-final-solution.gif

Great, now im a geek.

[iaidoka]

:grr:
your not a geek until you have used the dancing banana accordingly in at least 5 posts

[MisterBishi]

Originally posted by iaidoka
:grr:
your not a geek until you have used the dancing banana accordingly in at least 5 posts

No.

See, what you've done there, is you've confused the word geek with 'fucking idiot'.

[iaidoka]

Originally posted by MisterBishi
No.

See, what you've done there, is you've confused the word geek with 'fucking idiot'.

I find your lack of dancing banana love disturbing

[jacko]

Originally posted by iaidoka
I only lift the seat if its possible to do so with my foot. No way in hell am i touching ANYTHING in the bathroom with my hands that isnt part of me!

AMEN brother , some of the shitters ive seen a shit cart man wouldn't be seen dead in , i mean the hand basin is for washing your hands not filling with vomit or utilizing as an extra urinal it . Anyone remember the pubs in south brisbane before southbank , no self respecting turd would be laid to rest there if you know what i mean . :grr:

[robotoverflow]

Originally posted by iaidoka
I find your lack of dancing banana love disturbing
I find the opposite disturbing.

[iaidoka]

Originally posted by Peregrine
I find the opposite disturbing.

:banana: :banana: :banana:

[angel_b]

Originally posted by 4ndr01d
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/071503/the-final-solution.gif

Great, now im a geek.
Classy inaugural post. Welcome to zgeek. :)

[dwarfthrower]

Originally posted by jacko
i mean the hand basin is for washing your hands not filling with vomit or utilizing as an extra urinal it .

Since when?

[GeeWhiz]

If you did piss/shit/vomit in the basin then where would you wash your hands?

[LauraleeBug]

Originally posted by dwarfthrower
I bet you sit down to piss.

what the hell is so wrong about sitting DOWN to piss anyway? (Except that some moron before you has pissed on the seat....)

... believe it or not, older guys do it every day in the week; also ppl with physical problems (like MS, testicle cancer, etc...) and that doesn't make them less of a man...

BTW - I'd love to stand around with guys holding their willies; I can't think of a better opportunity for conversation... but then again, I'm a chick :P

[dwarfthrower]

Originally posted by GeeWhiz
If you did piss/shit/vomit in the basin then where would you wash your hands?

Here's a tip... DON'T PISS ON YOUR HANDS.

LauraleeBug
what the hell is so wrong about sitting DOWN to piss anyway?

There's nothing particularly right about it. In fact, even sitting down to shit is wrong. Biologically we should squat, such that our rectum fully straightens out, creating an easy passage for the feces to travel and avoiding leftover bits that can hang around and cause ass-cancer.

Basically, sitting on a toilet seat and forcing your wang to bend in a semicircle around and under the seat to point at the water puts undue strain on all the moving parts. Just as you try to keep a graden hose unkinked when watering your plants, the penis should be allowed to sit at a natural angle to enable the free flow of urine.

All that aside, I like to use a cheap shot whenever I get the chance.

[dozer]

ever used a japanese toilet? brings a new meaning to stand and deliver

[dwarfthrower]

ever used a japanese toilet?


Just a hole, with two little foot-positioning doodads?

I've used them in China. The idea is to squat. Not easy to do when you're on a boat travelling up the Pearl River and you've been eating market stalls in Guangzhou for a week.

[LauraleeBug]

Originally posted by dwarfthrower
Just a hole, with two little foot-positioning doodads?

I've used them in China. The idea is to squat. Not easy to do when you're on a boat travelling up the Pearl River and you've been eating market stalls in Guangzhou for a week.

Yeah! I been to both Japan & HongKong (but not China proper) and what's even more disconcerting than that is the fact that toilets aren't segragated!! Sure they all got a stall to themselves, but there is something really odd about washing your hands next to some older Japanese business man in the same restaurant.... :weird:

Quite a surprise for a western person, but then again, I never had to use a tree... lol! Although I *DO* admit to trying to squat in a urinal at more than one club in my life who's ladies' room was too packed with cocaine cowboys than u can shake a stick at....

[Mattryx]

hahahaha
Just be thankful you don't go fishing up the Murray ever year. And every year at some point you run out of tp and end up wiping your arse with leaves.

[4ndr01d]

Originally posted by angel_b
Classy inaugural post. Welcome to zgeek. :)

Now I'm a geek, accepted by other geeks. It is the seventh sign.


PS::banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

[RASPUTIN]

How the hell did I miss this thread *sob*. All the witty meaningless comments I could have made.

This must be resurrected.

As a bloke and a bloke who is responsible for educating my two young lads as to what it is to be a bloke I friggin know about this stuff.

The biggest rule of being a bloke is to never ever sit down to piss. Ever. It an unblokey feminine act, If you consider yourself a bloke or even male and you sit down to piss you are a screaming girl and should chuck out your pants and wear a dress.

If you want to do a piss and have a shit you piss first then sit down and shit or dig a hole and shit after you have pissed on a tree.

Pissing in a cubical again is a girl thing. Sure at home which is a females domain fair enough piss in it. Better yet if you can go outside and piss down the drain. Never ever put down the toilet seat.

Any male who puts down the toilet seat is again a screaming girl.

Anyone worried about talking whilst pissing in a urinal is a definite gaylord. So what if someone talks too you. Have a writting war or something. Its fun. If some bloke looks at you dick be happy that the poor bastard has a small dick problem and you are a bloke and are proud of HIM.

BTW LauraleeBug your comments about older men sitting down or men with illnesses is wrong. You are a girl so have no idea. If my wife said stuff like that i'd superglue the lid down on our dunny as a protest and tell the lads.. guys what would she know.

[dwarfthrower]

RASPUTIN, your input was indeed sorely missed on this thread. It sent a trickle of disgust down my spine to see how many supposed men would come right out to not only pissing in cubicles, but sitting down to do it.

Pissing is a joyous activity, the love of which should be shared amongst one's fellow pissers. The love of a communal piss starts early in one's childhood when - as a small boy - one gets the opportunity to piss with one's father. (I see you are raising your boys properly - mine will learn the art of taking a slash as soon as he's old enough to stand up.) Many fine childhood moments are experienced while pissing... I remember fondly riding my bike around with a bunch of other young rascals and finding a suitable location for us to all dismount, line up and take a piss by the side of the road. Our little willies flapping in the breeze as a reminder to the world of the men we would soon become.

Pissing in unison has been a mark of mateship and brotherhood since time immemorial. I'm damn sure Vikings didn't sneak off to sit down and piss. No Celtic warrior ever said "don't look at my schlong while I pee". Ghengis Khan was a very small man in many ways, but when he stood and pissed he was the true equal of anyone. He realised the power that lies in the communal and upright discharge of urine. Standing upright to piss marks us as the male of the species... willing to fight to the death over the territory we have thus marked. To willingly share the marking of territory signifies acceptance for those we piss with. When we piss together we are saying "I am like you, we are equal as men".

[Goat Boy]

I love urinals in pubs. Walk up to one with a few people already at it, pull out your wang and say aloud "so, this must be were all the dicks hang out."

Always gets a laugh.

[RASPUTIN]

Ahhh good to see the true men stand up.

Another fact I just thought about.

When you are out at the footy or whatever and you go for a piss at half time what do you see?

A twenty metre line at the females dunny and no line at the blokes.

So you go in the blokes dunny and everyones having a good old piss and a laugh and then you see a few blokes lining up at the cubicles.

Now WTF is that. They are in the wrong dunny. The GIRLS dunny is the one next door with the line not this one you screaming girls sheez. Their fathers failed them or were themselves screaming girls.

Again if you are a bloke you never line up for a piss. Just push in and piss, the smallest gap is acceptable.

Oh and another fact. If you visit the dunny at before halftime or during the match again you are a screaming girl as a real bloke will hold his piss until it is convenient. Not like a girl who has to piss every hour or so or when travelling ever twenty minutes.

[BlueBoy]

I've eaten food at the MCG. I know why there'd be a line for the cubicles. ;)

[sperm]

Originally posted by RASPUTIN
you are a screaming girl and should chuck out your pants and wear a dress.

I wondere what bifrost would say on this .... :rolleyes:

[Scythe]

Originally posted by Goat Boy
I love urinals in pubs. Walk up to one with a few people already at it, pull out your wang and say aloud "so, this must be were all the dicks hang out."

Always gets a laugh.

Unless you go to some very unusual pubs, i'm going to assume you mean the urinals in the toilets of the pubs, rather than at the bar....

Also, aren't you concerned about getting spashed on the shoes when you make the guy next to you laugh? All that chuckling throwing off their aim, and so forth..... :banana:

(The banana was the best visual representation I could find.)

[dwarfthrower]

And another thing...

Only a big kickarse steel trough is an acceptable urinal. What is with those fucking tiny porcelain things that look like someone nailed a bedpan to the wall? How am I supposed to hit that, let alone write my name on it? How can you have 'sword-fights' with yer mates when you have to stand five feet apart and piss into separate receptacles. Any dunny that has these contraptions installed is just begging me to piss all over the walls.

The emerging prevalence of these objects is the obvious hallmark of a feminazi conspiracy to get us blokes to use girl-toilets. It starts with a line of small porcelain urinals, then the dividers go up in between. Next thing you know they've all been replaced by fenced in crappers and there's nowhere to enjoy a communal piss.

I say if they look like crappers, use em as crappers...
http://urinalpoop.org/gallery/0002.jpg
Then piss all over the walls.

[RASPUTIN]

Yeah, you've gotta wonder who the hell thought those things are a good idea. On my floor at work they have three of them lined up next to each other.

Now that is pretty crap as if they had of installed a steel one you could have had 5-7 blokes pissing at once. Thank goodness my floor has the 000 section on it which are mostly women thus use the other dunny.