Better than sex ?

[sperm]

I've heard people use this as a benchmark of comparison for something that's enjoyable.....

For example:
one guy swore that skiing on fresh powder snow was better.
or the first cigarette after 2months cold turkey.
or a good old fashion fap is better than bad sex....

what i want to know is, can anyone here make their own claims as to what they find better than sex ?

[Scumbag]

snorting a line of coke off a naked supermodels body.


(you can have sex with her afterwards)

[mrwest]

hmm... I thought this was going to be a thread about heroin.

[pleed]

Sex is good, but it will never come close to the real thing.

[Colonel Kurtz]

more sex, with beer and pizza afterward

[iaidoka]

winning a tournament is better than sex.

Iv only won something once (im pathetic), but yes.. that was definately better.

Of course.. I think the term is hard to place.. I mean.. better than first time sex with a girl you just met thats hot? Or sex with the same old same old wife ?

[rascuache]

True Enlightenment

I'm only taking a guess, but i recon that would be

[SamBo]

something better than sex?? hmmm
I guess there is sex first thing in the morning - great way to start the day!
Then there is sex in the evening - great way to end the day
Of course, who could forget sex during the day - great way to spend the day.

I think i misunderstood the question here.... :p

[Scythe]

Originally posted by SamBo
something better than sex?? hmmm
I guess there is sex first thing in the morning - great way to start the day!
Then there is sex in the evening - great way to end the day
Of course, who could forget sex during the day - great way to spend the day.

I think i misunderstood the question here.... :p


Yes, but you misunderstood in a good way....:)

[Poisonivy]

I'd take a nice big fat cone over sex anyday.

[plext]

Originally posted by iaidoka
winning a tournament is better than sex.

Iv only won something once (im pathetic), but yes.. that was definately better.
You must have some fairly ordinary sex life happening there.

[iaidoka]

Originally posted by plext
You must have some fairly ordinary sex life happening there.

a simple matter of mathematics. iv won a tournament once.. iv had sex with my wife, hell.. at LEAST 5 times now.

:D

[rascuache]

Originally posted by iaidoka
a simple matter of mathematics. iv won a tournament once.. iv had sex with my wife, hell.. at LEAST 5 times now.

:D


To quote Red Dwarf

"Mr sad lonely git or what????"

What is she wearing? Iron Knickers?

AT LEAST FIVE TIMES???????

Am i the only one who thinks this is slightly bizarre, five times a week, or even a month is natural, Five times a night is nice tooo, but FIVE times in the course of an entire marriage????

No wonder you think winning a tournament is better, you havent had enough practice with your wife.

Please, please tell me i have mis-understood what you were saying.

[Princess]

a corona, with a slice of lime in the neck

nothing beats it

[rascuache]

I'll be sure to give Nexus a few tips next time i see him then :P

[King_Crud]

I used to think ecstacy was better than sex but now i don't think so. Either the pills are getitng worse or the sex is getting bettter :grr:

[iaidoka]

Originally posted by rascuache
To quote Red Dwarf

"Mr sad lonely git or what????"

What is she wearing? Iron Knickers?

AT LEAST FIVE TIMES???????

Am i the only one who thinks this is slightly bizarre, five times a week, or even a month is natural, Five times a night is nice tooo, but FIVE times in the course of an entire marriage????

No wonder you think winning a tournament is better, you havent had enough practice with your wife.

Please, please tell me i have mis-understood what you were saying.


Relax bro, I was being flippant. I didnt want to sound boastful when I said it was more like at least... 25 times!

:D :D :D :D :D

[royale]

Originally posted by sperm
what i want to know is, can anyone here make their own claims as to what they find better than sex ?


Really really good sex.

[russ9000]

Sometimes, Just Sometimes when you have been busting for a piss for hours and hours and finally have one That feeling / Relief is Sometimes better than sex......

[Pirate]

Killing back-packers.

[Colonel Kurtz]

Originally posted by Pirate
Killing back-packers.
Oi! Milat! Get off that computer and get back to your cell!
*reaches for baton*

[Goat Boy]

I think having sex is better than going to work. That is why I was late to work this morning.


I know, I know, I missed the point of the thread. I just want to brag about gettin some. :D

[Princess]

Originally posted by rascuache
I'll be sure to give Nexus a few tips next time i see him then :P

few tips???
there is only one necessary tip...

BUY PRINCESS CORONA!!!

that is all

Princess
xox

[druckfugged]

It's all relative. There's plenty of stuff that's better than sex if you're married and you've been having sex with the same person 5 times a week for ten years. First time sex with someone you're hugely attracted to is great, don't get me wrong, but if you were to ask a person who's been married for ten years if they'd take finding twenty bucks on the sidewalk over next wednesday's pre-programmed bonk then they'd take the twenty in every case.

[druckfugged]

.....or I'll just give you the twenty bucks and be around next Wednesday,say,seven?.........

[Nandragon]

I'd take winning the lotto over sex.





I've heard....
when you get old sometimes taking a good dump is better than sex.

[kré]

Originally posted by Nandragon
I'd take winning the lotto over sex.





I've heard....
when you get old sometimes taking a good dump is better than sex.

let us know next week then, eh? :D

[Nandragon]

If you'd like you can come over and I'll dump on YOU!:p

[scathing]

Making love is better than sex.

[Scythe]

Originally posted by scathing
Making love is better than sex.

Oh, well, aren't you just the sensitive, romantic type. :rolleyes:

Parachuting for the first time is better than sex. (At least better than the sex i've had. :( )

[Tintin]

Originally posted by iaidoka
winning a tournament is better than sex.

Meh... Jousting, sex same diff when you think about it.

Originally posted by Poisonivy
I'd take a nice big fat cone over sex anyday.

I agree... low-fat ice-cream is not nearly as good as the real stuff!

Personally I believe 'white chocolate' is the answer, not that I could know for certain. :D

[Kyle]

I don't think anything is better than sex....unless you count having sex while doing something else cool WHILE you're having sex..

[ThreeChordMe]

On rare occasion, sleeping in is truly priceless.

[edeity]

Me. Seriously.

[Aphrodite]

Originally posted by ThreeChordMe
sleeping in is truly priceless.
just ask any parent of a newborn......


btw... childbirth is better than sex

[m0loch]

Originally posted by druckfugged
It's all relative. There's plenty of stuff that's better than sex if you're married and you've been having sex with the same person 5 times a week for ten years. First time sex with someone you're hugely attracted to is great, don't get me wrong, but if you were to ask a person who's been married for ten years if they'd take finding twenty bucks on the sidewalk over next wednesday's pre-programmed bonk then they'd take the twenty in every case.
I'm wondering...5 times a week for 10 years? We slowed down after about 3 years but I do think that prior to that it was more than 5 times a week. Of course, having children around the house hampers things a little. Anyhow, after nearly 14 years bonking the same woman, I'd still take the bonk over the 20 bucks. 200 and I'd think about it.
However, I would take a good powder day on the ski slopes over sex with just about anyone.

P.S. pirate, what have you got against backpackers?

[SamBo]

Originally posted by scathing
Making love is better than sex.

That's the single most funny thing you've ever said :D

[SamBo]

Having Sex while playing <insert cool computer game here>.
I've never done that, but I reckong it would be pretty cool, although, rather difficult... hehe

[scathing]

Originally posted by SamBo
Having Sex while playing <insert cool computer game here>.
I've never done that, but I reckong it would be pretty cool, although, rather difficult... hehe

Yeah, that is quite cool. Playing a bit of online CS while getting laid is great.

Your ability to play may go to shit, but when other people start trash talking you, you can always reply with, "Yeah, but my girlfriend is bouncing off my lap right now. And, unlike you, she's not my hand"

[SamBo]

Originally posted by scathing
Yeah, that is quite cool. Playing a bit of online CS while getting laid is great.

Your ability to play may go to shit, but when other people start trash talking you, you can always reply with, "Yeah, but my girlfriend is bouncing off my lap right now. And, unlike you, she's not my hand"

*chortleplosion*

[scathing]

Originally posted by SamBo
*chortleplosion*

One of my friends played Quake II online while getting a blowjob.

Its far more l33t, when you get railed, to blame it on blowing your load in your girlfriend's mouth than accusing them of being low-ping bastards while you're on dialup.

Or, so he said.....

[Scythe]

Originally posted by scathing
Yeah, that is quite cool. Playing a bit of online CS while getting laid is great.

Your ability to play may go to shit, but when other people start trash talking you, you can always reply with, "Yeah, but my girlfriend is bouncing off my lap right now. And, unlike you, she's not my hand"

*Insert obligatory bad pun about 'high scoring' here.*

[edeity]

meh. been there, done that, got the .jpg's.

its so been done. Isnt that like sex tho? just with a computer gaming fetish?

[RaZ]

Originally posted by Poisonivy
I'd take a nice big fat cone over sex anyday.

Thats cause you probly don't do it right ! :p



I am not so sure there is anything better then sex.... maybe going 300km on two wheels, but as of yet I am unable to confirm that

[Stary]

hot chocolate or coffee with at least five marshmallows that have melted into a layer of marshmallowy goodness on the top.... i don't know much about sex, but hell, i doubt it's better than that :)

[sperm]

Originally posted by Stary
hot chocolate or coffee with at least five marshmallows that have melted into a layer of marshmallowy goodness on the top.... i don't know much about sex, but hell, i doubt it's better than that :)

a nice-looking 19yo female virgin in brissy ? :eek:

no wonder you like candy better :p

P.S. has utop been loosing his touch ? :D

[Stary]

*gasp* thats me!

i'm 21 now tho.. should probably update that site at some point.

*shrug* some guy someday will probably try to break my marshmallow addiction.. and good luck to him. :D

Edit: and i don't believe i've ever met utop.. is that a bad thing? :confused:

[Lina]

NOTHING.

Except maybe sex involving chocolate.

[Cassa]

...better than sex?


I didn't know there was such a thing.

[kré]

Originally posted by Cassa
...better than sex?


I didn't know there was such a thing.

you never knew there was such a thing as sex? :p

[Aurelius]

A lot of people seem to want to diss those who give ideas of what they might think is better than sex.

It's all relative. Some sex is so bad that a trainride home from work is better. And some is the other end of the spectrum.

Sorry, I hate to give a serious comment... I'll try not to in future....

Carthago Delenda Est

[Nandragon]

Originally posted by Stary
*gasp* thats me!

Edit: and i don't believe i've ever met utop.. is that a bad thing? :confused:

That would depend.

Can you spell?
Can you say "Utop, you're the greatest arsefarmer in the world?"

[Al]

Originally posted by King_Crud
I used to think ecstacy was better than sex but now i don't think so. Either the pills are getitng worse or the sex is getting bettter :grr:

Have a halfer then sex, damn that's good.

I got to the point with my ex-gf that I was in a take it or leave it frame of mind. I used to turn sex down if i was tired or whatever.

With my current gf I wouldn't turn it down if my life depended on it. Who woulda though there could be THAT much difference eh?

Seriously though, nothing is better than sex with someone you love. Making love is good too and something special, but it's not something you'd do all the time.

[Lina]

Originally posted by Vespasian
It's all relative. Some sex is so bad that a trainride home from work is better. And some is the other end of the spectrum.


Actually, come to think of it, I agree.

[boozer]

Originally posted by big al
Have a halfer then sex, damn that's good.


bingo

[Stary]

Originally posted by Nandragon
That would depend.

Can you spell?
Can you say "Utop, you're the greatest arsefarmer in the world?"

I can spell.. most of the time...

and... whats an arsefarmer? i mean, i can say it, but it doesn't exactly have much meaning

I can't exactly see arsefarming being a good thing... maybe i should start a 'reasons people should/shouldn't wanna meet Utopian' thread...

:banana:

[pleed]

Sex is good, but sometimes nothings better than a good hard wank!

[Cassa]

Originally posted by big al
Seriously though, nothing is better than sex with someone you love.

Yeah (awwwwww)

Helps if they're a good shag too :D

[Scythe]

Originally posted by Cassa
Yeah (awwwwww)

Helps if they're a good shag too :D

Sex is like pizza. When it's good, it's very good, and when it's bad, at least it doesn't involve anchovies.

Usually. :grr:

[Moga2]

ok im gonna give the response that is sappy and will get a bad response.

True love is better then sex.

[MisterBishi]

Originally posted by Moga2
ok im gonna give the response that is sappy and will get a bad response.

True love is better then sex.

:fag:

[minorproblem]

wild sex when u havnt seen each other in 3 weeks is definatly better than normal sex also when u r both like into it and things just flow. if there is a chance u might get caught and also in difrent spots like school and stuff.

[Necron]

What is better than ANYTHING.... well lads, Ill tell you (agreeing with previous post), Nothing.... and I do mean NOTHING is better than *L33t* sex, only time I will make a comment like this, here it is: having to wait for 5 weeks because I had to do some contract work in SA to come back to your GF...HORNY as all hell...with a fram of mind that goes something like this (got to get home...must see her, have to get it on...soooooooo horny) to find that she has just got her period, and it aint gonna be another week till I can get it on....but she is just there, and you dont care what is happening menstualy...you just want her that bad. But then after a BLOODY "pun intended" long time, you get to have her (works both ways for guys and gals) and the best thing is *in this case* NO contraception is necissary!!!.


NOW THAT IS BETTER THAN SEX

*relief* - glad I got that off my chest!!!

PS. sorry babe, you know I love you

[Al]

Originally posted by Necron
...find that she has just got her period, and it aint gonna be another week till I can get it on....

Stuff waiting for the period, does it worry her? Most chicks don't seem to care.

[Necron]

Nah mate doesnt bother me but.... she doesnt like it, Ive talked to other gals about it and seems half/half, some do mind and some dont. But hey, nothin beats the afterglow of that night/day/night/...so on (the night that her period ends that is).

I would do it if she had her period but she has only done it once and said it was too Quote: "Icky"!..... most childish thing that ive heard her say *ever* but hey....whatever!!!

[kyuss]

If it came down to rooting a really hot chick or surfing 8 foot perfect secret spot with only one good mate, I would definatly take the surf, without a doubt. VERY ungeeky, but hey, i aint one of those cool hip happenin surfy wanks, so never fear.....

In conclusion: Getting in touch with the cosmic giggle is definatly better than sex.

And NO I do not prefer the company of men. :grr:

[Misao]

Can't remember if i replied to this one already or not :)
Snuggles are the best .. mmmm snuggles....

[Jaz]

Originally posted by Princess
a corona, with a slice of lime in the neck

OT: wankarama. You realise the only reason the mexican farm labourers put the lime in there was to keep the flies out don't you?

Originally posted by SamBo
Having Sex while playing <insert cool computer game here>.
I've never done that, but I reckong it would be pretty cool, although, rather difficult... hehe
Bloodhound gang: "...Then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch x-files..."

[krisbot4000]

well lets see... trips to the movies.. playin cards.. getin stoned with yer friends... OH you meant with another person.. well i have no frame of referance here then...*ahem* any ways... im sure its all good fun :D

[Necron]

The 'only' thing better is AVP the Movie...... Alien+Predator = All humans dead, mmmmmm cant wait. *frothing at mouth* ohh my god, best two movies ever combining into one almighty thrill ride that hopefully will not dissapoint.........

"whoever wins, we lose"

I know this contradicts a post made earlier by me... but this is a once..... ok probably twice, or maybe three times in a lifetime experience... depending on how many AVP movies they will drag it out for.

Still a horny devil though, and would rather shag than see a movie... Except this one

[krisbot4000]

hehe yeah AVP looks pretty kewl .... saw a "in production" trailer of it at applequicktime.com teams of preds huntin aleins an shiz! it looks super mega ultra violent...and thats the way we like it :p

[jaseparlo]

This thread looks two weeks dead, but I had to add cos nobody mentioned mine:

Wild meaningless anonymous sex can be better than making love to someone you really care about, but if you find someone who you connect with on a soul level who also has a decent bedroom (+ kitchen bench + couch + floor + bonnet of a car + etc etc) repetoire <sp?> you are on a winner, cos you can have tender SNAG sex, quick fucks, wild monkey sessions, and whatever, but get the added intensity bonus of the emotional thing.

I also agree about the wank thing : sometimes you can't be arsed with all the rigmarole and would rather just have a quick one off the wrist to get the toxins out of your system.

But better than any kind of sex for me is playing in a live band to an appreciative audience. It's wild and passionate, it's a full body workout, it's animal, and you come off feeling like you've fucked every person in the audience and you're ready for more.

The real test of 'better than sex' is if you had to choose between the thing you picked, and sex, not once but for the rest of your life. If you pick to ski/surf/gig/whatever, you can never have sex again ever. Faced with that I'm not so sure, but I couldn't discount either option.

[StygiaN]

Krispey Kreme is better than sex (and sweeter).

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by StygiaN
Krispey Kreme is better than sex (and sweeter).

As much as I love Krispy Kreme, no they aren't.

[wolfpac181]

What's better than sex?

Not getting herpes.

[StygiaN]

If you have had sex with me you'll know what I mean. Krispey Kreme (original glazed) is better than sex! ;)

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by StygiaN
If you have had sex with me you'll know what I mean. Krispey Kreme (original glazed) is better than sex! ;)

Considering the fact that I will never have sex with you;) I guess I will never find out:D

I do however like the original glazed ones frozen:p

[StygiaN]

I dare say no one will have sex with me again, not after the incident at the sausage factory. Insurance will pay for the sex change though. Good things can come from bad situations.

You can't freeze doughnuts. Thats like triple stamping a double stamp (prize for knowing what movie thats from).

D

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by StygiaN
I dare say no one will have sex with me again, not after the incident at the sausage factory. Insurance will pay for the sex change though. Good things can come from bad situations.

You can't freeze doughnuts. Thats like triple stamping a double stamp (prize for knowing what movie thats from).

D

We went to the sneak peek at the Liverpool Store just before it opened, and came home with 3doz original glazed, and 3doz mixed. So the only option was to freeze and the kids preferred them frozen as well. :banana:

[JessicaDV8]

I must say that nothing is better than sex with someone for the first time, when there's been a lot of tension and the two of you are so silly and happy and excited that the sex is everything.

However, I've been in a happy relationship for four years, and while the sex is still good, it's more like Thanksgiving than the Fourth of July, as Edith Bunker put it.

So.... I would say that gourmet cheese, an excellant concert, and taking off four-inch-heels after an evening out are better than sex. Also, a good massage from someone who pays attention to the rhomboids.

[cdj]

I think the only thing better than sex, is the anticipation of having sex. ;)

[sciwra]

I still think getting your back and hair played with for hours on end kicks the butt of carnal frivolity anyday.

*Edit* oh and this reminds me of a joke I used to tell in recovery wards...

What's better than winning gold at the paralympics?

Walking.

Think about it, I'm sure many people with no functionality below the waist will agree with this one.

[Fuzzy Dice]

Originally posted by StygiaN
You can't freeze doughnuts. Thats like triple stamping a double stamp (prize for knowing what movie thats from).
D

Dumb and Dumber!!!!

Which may or may not be better than sex. I'm not sure anymore. I haven't had any in a while. Can your viginity grow back? :p

[Sutter]

Originally posted by Aphrodite
just ask any parent of a newborn......


btw... childbirth is better than sex

*choke*
Dear god no...........

[SamBo]

Originally posted by BtrFly
at the moment there is nothing better than sex... i have not had any in a bit over a month and yes fuzzy - i do believe that your virginity can grow back!!! ARGH!!!!

/me goes to look for SamBo

me so horny..... :(

[StygiaN]

Alicia knows what's better than sex.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/aliciasilv129582.html

hmmmm

[RASPUTIN]

I reckon sitting in my computer room at home late on a Friday night with a case of beer in the fridge, a six pack minus the one currently in my hand playing Desert Combat and coming first is better than sex. Although I reckon sitting in my computer room at home late on a Friday night with a case of beer in the fridge, a six pack minus the one currently in my hand playing Desert Combat and coming first AND getting a headjob would top it but thats never going to happen so wtf i'll stick to option 1.

[mccorski]

Originally posted by cdj
I think the only thing better than sex, is the anticipation of having sex. ;)

Totally, totally, totally agree!!!!

[KoinBahd]

You people make me sick...

...or horny...

either way.

[Gruff Nutz]

masturbating onto a chicken schnitzel at the resteraunt I used to work at and watching this hot gymnest chick eat it!

True story!

[Plough]

I would say certain drugs are better than sex. The ones that when you come down you can't wait till you have them again. Then all you can think about over the next few days is how good they were and when you will be having them again.
I never seem to think that way about sex? Not ina while anyway.

[mccorski]

Originally posted by Plough
...you can't wait till you have them again. Then all you can think about over the next few days is how good they were and when you will be having them again....

This also comes close to the anticipation, more like, once you have the anticipation, you have the sex, then you anticipate the next time and it keeps compounding. Just excellent, rather frustrating, but excellent none the less!!!

[Chocoholic]

I once had a drug induced orgasm from music, It was fucking amazing. I am glad I experienced it but there is no way in hell I am taking that many drugs again and don’t recommend any one who doesn’t have a death wish try it.

[kyuss]

Originally posted by Plough
I would say certain drugs are better than sex. The ones that when you come down you can't wait till you have them again. Then all you can think about over the next few days is how good they were and when you will be having them again.
I never seem to think that way about sex? Not ina while anyway.

May i ask what these certain drugs are Plough?

[BlueBoy]

Originally posted by kyuss
May i ask what these certain drugs are Plough?

[Cassa]

Mega C > mega cum?

[Mattryx]

Whats better than sex?

MORE SEX!

[Scythe]

Originally posted by Cassa
Mega C > mega cum?

:eek:

My mental image of you as an girlish innocent has been forever shattered.

[Cassa]

If you'd been at either of the zmeets you wouldn't have held that mistaken belief in the first place :p

[badpauly]

Originally posted by Chocoholic
I once had a drug induced orgasm from music, It was fucking amazing. I am glad I experienced it but there is no way in hell I am taking that many drugs again and don’t recommend any one who doesn’t have a death wish try it.
I'd be willing to give it a go at least once. With a few days to recover.

An orgasm on top of an orgasm I had last weekend was better than "normal" sex. Wow!

Err... that is all. :eek:

[Plough]

Winners don't use drugs.
So I am told !

[polite]

Originally posted by Gruff Nutz
masturbating onto a chicken schnitzel at the resteraunt I used to work at and watching this hot gymnest chick eat it!

True story!
That's fowl.

[Mattryx]

Originally posted by Cassa
If you'd been at either of the zmeets you wouldn't have held that mistaken belief in the first place :p

No. He'd just have been punched in the guts as soon as he walked thru the door. :(

[hazza]

Originally posted by polite
That's fowl.


No its CHICKEN.

[Mattryx]

Originally posted by polite
That's fowl.


hahahahaha

Gold.

Thankyou ladies and gentlemen, he's here all week. Try the veal.

[Scythe]

Originally posted by Mattryx
No. He'd just have been punched in the guts as soon as he walked thru the door. :(

Damn, now I wish i'd gone to one of the meets. I could be living the high life off the lawsuit settlement. :)

[polite]

Originally posted by Mattryx
Try the veal.

He doesn't beat his meat over this meat as well?.
I'm glad we've never met.;)

Condiments have lost all their attraction for me:)

[KoinBahd]

Originally posted by Gruff Nutz
masturbating onto a chicken schnitzel at the resteraunt I used to work at and watching this hot gymnest chick eat it!

True story! Dude... I didn't know that about you... is that why you're a vegetarian? Afraid of people jerking off into your meat? Well now I am.

[Mattryx]

Originally posted by polite
I'm glad we've never met.;)


You wouldn't say that if we'd met!

[edeity]

I cant believe this is still a topic of discussion.

Computer Games are always better than sex.

[Lord_Phat]

Originally posted by edeity
I cant believe this is still a topic of discussion.

Computer Games are always better than sex.

i can understand why you believe this to be true:

you can get other people involved with computer games

sex with you? well, noone will ever be involved with that sickness

[edeity]

Hey, I have the sexual diseases and child support payments to prove an active, if somewhat unsatisfying sex life involving other people.

[Lord_Phat]

you still paying for other peoples mistakes?

two words, paternity test... unless the doctor punched the child in the head at birth, it surely isn't yours

sore wrists are not an std, for the last time :rolleyes:

[edeity]

man, i got this weird rash on my hand from beating off.

Dont know if I should go to the doctor....

/me giggles