View Full Version : Friendship
What is true friendship? I've recently been led to wonder, just what is that makes a REAL friend?
Recently I had a "falling out" with someone I considered a true friend, over lies about me (and Stocking) fed to her by another friend of hers. She automatically believed this person, because she has known him longer, and has not even bothered to hear our side of the story - which happens to be the truth.
Is this right? Shouldn't "friends" be treated a little better?
Your thoughts please.
pleed
02-12-2003, 08:45 AM
Definitions of Friend:
noun: a member of the Religious Society of Friends founded by George Fox (the Friends have never called themselves Quakers)
noun: a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
Example: "He was my best friend at the university"
noun: a person with whom you are acquainted
Example: "We are friends of the family"
noun: an associate who provides assistance
Example: "They were friends of the workers"
noun: a person who backs a politician or a team etc.
Example: "They are friends of the library"
name: A surname (common: 1 in 14285 families; popularity rank in the U.S.: #1930)
I regard my friends highly and I assume they do too.
But in your story, you should be more angry about the other friend of hers, who told the lies, she/he is a right bitch!
Fuzzy Dice
02-12-2003, 09:13 AM
A real friend would have talked to you about it. Frankly, I'd be mad at her too.
MoleTeaser
02-12-2003, 10:54 AM
I've been written off by so many friends over the years for the most stupid reasons.
Even one of my best mates, who had heard a rumour about me (from another "friend") which was only partially true, refused to even discuss it with me. It's as if he wanted to believe the worst about me.
But it's the ones who stick around that you know are worthwhile.
Drakin
02-12-2003, 02:32 PM
see sig
fearless13
02-12-2003, 03:03 PM
Personally I think there may be 2 bad friends in the original post. One the friend that believed the guy that lied. And two you, for not being understanding and accept the fact that at the time your friend believed what they were told.
Rather than posting on here you should be out trying to reconcile with your friend. If you don't try and reconcile then are you really being a good friend to them???
ShadowNemesis
02-12-2003, 03:28 PM
Originally posted by fearless13
Personally I think there may be 2 bad friends in the original post. One the friend that believed the guy that lied. And two you, for not being understanding and accept the fact that at the time your friend believed what they were told.
Rather than posting on here you should be out trying to reconcile with your friend. If you don't try and reconcile then are you really being a good friend to them???
But SOC tried to tell the friend the truth, and they refused to listen to him, so there really is nothing else he can do except wait and hope said friend will realise the truth. So it isn't SOC's fault the friendship broke down.
I guess it's up to you as to how important your friendship is. I'd say if it's true friendship then you'll be able to reconcile a hiccup.
I'm particularly unforgiving in situations like this, but then I don't have that many good friends...
Originally posted by fearless13
Personally I think there may be 2 bad friends in the original post. One the friend that believed the guy that lied. And two you, for not being understanding and accept the fact that at the time your friend believed what they were told.
Rather than posting on here you should be out trying to reconcile with your friend. If you don't try and reconcile then are you really being a good friend to them???
ShadowNemesis and MoleTeaser both got it right she refuses to even discuss the situation with me. Won't take my calls, won't answer my emails. Won't even return some CDs of mine that I lent her. So it looks to me like the friendship is well and truly over. One day I hope she actually discovers the truth of the matter and learns just how wrong she has been.
tikdoph
03-12-2003, 03:37 AM
If this 'friend' is prepared to stop associating with you, based on what she was told by someone else, even though she knows you (and she must know you pretty damn well for you to class her as a 'true friend'), and has refused to hear your side of the story, she's stupid.
Maybe she'll find out that this other asshat lied to her and she'll come crawling back. Maybe she won't find out. Either way, I'd sooner be rid of a dead piece of driftwood like her if she's going to believe a bullshit story about me in the first place.
If anything, she's done you a favour by removing someone as fickle as herself from your life. Instead of giving her a second thought, I'd focus on the real friends that you have, instead of wasting another moment thinking about her.
Bummer about the CDs though.
fearless13
03-12-2003, 02:07 PM
Does this friend have a reason to believe you over the other guy (the one you said lied). How is your friend meant to find out which of you are lieing if your friend values both you and the other guy the same?? Because remember, you telling your friend that you are telling the truth means you are calling the other guy a lier.
That Bloke
03-12-2003, 02:11 PM
I don't know exactly what a true friend is but I came to the realisation some years ago that I've never had a real friend, or those who could have been real friends are the ones I alienated while putting all my effort into the ones who would betray me.
ShadowNemesis
03-12-2003, 03:26 PM
Originally posted by fearless13
Does this friend have a reason to believe you over the other guy (the one you said lied). How is your friend meant to find out which of you are lieing if your friend values both you and the other guy the same?? Because remember, you telling your friend that you are telling the truth means you are calling the other guy a lier.
If the friend was a true friend in the first place fearless13, then she would have listened to both sides of the story(SOC's & the other person) and then made her mind up as to who was lieing or telling the truth.
"A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!!"
:D
Originally posted by fearless13
...you are calling the other guy a lier.
no i'm not. i never call anyone a lier, because there is no such word. it's liar.
Originally posted by SOC
i never call anyone a lier, because there is no such word.
wrong.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=lier
thingy
05-12-2003, 01:59 PM
Seriously, why do they even bother teaching English anymore these days in school when every single mis-spelling, bad piece of slang, or just general bad english gets used so often it becomes a word (especially in dodgy "dictionary" sites like this)?
kyuss
05-12-2003, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by Drakin
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be the one sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awsome!"
I always thought it was
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next to you saying "We really fucked up!"
Glompbot
05-12-2003, 05:42 PM
Originally posted by Drakin
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be the one sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awsome!"
Thats true for my two closest friends.
We may have our shitfights and misunderstandings... but in the end, they'll be in the shit with me when I need them.
My advice, wait and see. It could just be a temporary understanding.
Well I have to start posting somewhere.
Don't try this at home kiddies: A good friend will accept you for all your faults, and you will accept them for theirs. Just been through a nasty breakup with my wife - we were both at fault, the good friends are the ones that don't take sides, but just listen and are still there when the dust settles.
Dan
vBulletin® v3.7.2, Copyright ©2000-2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.