I oppose the war

[Cpt. Orangutang]

I oppose this war, just like I oppose all wars. In fact, that's why, while I strenously disapprove of this war, I haven't done anything to stop it. I'd like to, but, you understand, I have quite a busy schedule. For instance, it's not enough to oppose this war, I wanted to get to the root of the problem. That's why I'm opposing every war ever waged.

Currently I'm primarily opposing the Peloponnesian War. Did you know that in 413 BC Sparta violated international law by launching a pre-emptive attack on Athens in spite of the Peace of Nicias agreement? This can not be tolerated. What kind of world is this if we allow this unchecked agression to go unrestrained? That's why I'm traveling to Athens to be a volunteer human shield and I sincerely hope that many of you will follow in my footsteps.

Now, I can sense that some of you may have objections to my approach. For instance, since this war ended approximately 2400 years ago, opposing it may not have much practical effect. But that is precisely why opposing it is so groundbreaking. For any current war, people opposing or supporting it can be acused of acting in their (or their nations's) best interest. Even backwater countries like the ones you guys live in, which seem to do nothing on the world stage, still have some interests that they seek to further. But by opposing a war whose outcome, by definition, can not affect me, I remove any spectre of favortism. This is an ideal measure, a purely selfless gesture, an intellectual poem to world peace. Just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye.

P.S. I'm thinking of opposing the Punic Wars next.

[Asmodeus]

antiwar poser! all teh real antipostwar protestors are protesting teh first war.. oogum / buga clan war from 10,000 BC

they violated the genevastone convention by not shaving the bark off their sticks and clubs. Claims of no better tools my arse.

[Ins0mniac]

I'm not against all wars. But I'm against this one.

[CMYK]

I am against the War on Drugs.

[Necron]

Originally posted by Cpt. Orangutang
I oppose this war, just like I oppose all wars.

What about the WAR AGAINST PANTIES.... Ill explain, it's simply a revolution to rid the world of Any type of womens underware and to expose pussies for what they are......"things of beauty and wonder".

[svvampy]

Originally posted by CMYK
I am against the War on Drugs.
From Mad; Say NO to 'Say No!'!

[nosedog]

Originally posted by Cpt. Orangutang
Even backwater countries like the ones you guys live in...
That does it. My next coffee table is gunna be made from Borneo rainforest hardwood.



How you like them apples, monkeyboy?

[Cpt. Orangutang]

While this is a bit off-topic, it's related enough that I thought I'd post here the reasons why I hate George W. Bush. It goes beyond the fact that he's waging an illegal war against an innocent populace and has deposed an exemplary ruler; I feel the man is inherently evil. So, I have compiled a list of reasons that prove his evilness and substantiate my hate. Here they are:


As a boy he named the family cat "Muffins".
He has the number 666 carved on his testicles.
He attended Yale.
He was constructed by robots on a secret moon base.
He calls up tech support to ask "Where's the 'Any' key?"
He's Australian
He was lead designer on the Microsoft Bob project.
He was the brains behind Miss Cleo.
He once attemped to destroy the earth with a lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator
He wears nothing but a burlap sack and chaps to state dinners.
He doesn't document his code.
He wakes up every morning and shouts "Fe Fi Fo Fum, I want a piece of John Sunol's bum".
He posts on Zgeek under the username of "nosedog".
His acting in "Master and Commander" was stiff and wooden.
He masterminded the Teapot Dome scandal.
He dyes his nosehairs blue.
He refused to return the One Ring to the pits of Mount Doom.
He was choregrapher on the Broadway revival of Chicago.
He thinks clubbing homeless people to death is good cardiovascular exercise.
He has a private refrigerator filled with Cokes and Twinkes that he keeps in an Air Force hanger in Area 51.
He uses emacs rather than vi.
He has a prehensile third nipple.
He was the top ace for the German air force in WWI.
He abuses vB code.
He relaxes by snorting cocaine off the asses of White House interns.
He was the author of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
He once blindsided Bobby Orr after Orr scored a game-winning goal.
His homepage uses frames, midi music, and the "blink" tag.
He doesn't like bananas.

[Salted_Chipmunk]

Can i have some of your wacky-tobbacie please :p

[Goat Boy]

I'm for the war, but against our troops.

[Pirate]

I am against shoe laces, I mean serious there are better ways of securing shoes to ones feet without resorting to bits of string that can suddenly become untied and cause a menace not only to oneself, but society at large.

But will we see the UN do anything about this? no. Thats why today we can only trust in one god like creature. Me.

Give me all your money.

[scathing]

Originally posted by Pirate
Give me all your money.

This is a forum for serious discussions only. Shape up, or prepare to have your ass moderated.

[Lionel Hand]

Yeah Pirate, you're this close to having me ban the hell out of you. Just keep it up pal and you'll be feeling the fiery wrath of my wing tip in your firm yet supple ass.