still life
23-12-2003, 10:33 PM
A little while ago, I was reading an article on Russian culture, fragment below:
Presents
I would also like to mention briefly the Russian approach to presents in order to contrast it with what I have observed in America. While the Russian approach is more traditional and European than nationally idiosyncratic, it is still a matter for illustration of difference in customs.
Presents are generally a thing intended to be shrouded in mystery and surprise. In America, it is not uncommon to simply request what you want from family or friends and to receive it without ceremony. This is unthinkable in our tradition. It is a vital element of the present that it is picked out by the person giving it, that it is sincere and comes from the heart. It is also important to be surprised; advance knowledge of your present defeats the entire purpose. Presents are generally things of quality but modest in quantity; it would be considered extremely poor form to have a "wish list" or a "Christmas list" or something so pretentious. Likewise, giving money would be regarded as very blunt, offensive and unrefined. Simply giving someone the means to buy themselves a present is contrary to the entire purpose.
This is not to say that the giver of the present should ignore the apparent wishes of the receiver and get him something totally random. On the contrary, the point is to get someone you love what they want. If you are a parent, perhaps you overheard your son or daughter talking once about something they wish they had. You should keep this in mind for a present. The point is for this to happen by implied understanding, and not by explicit request. It should be a surprise, and should be given based on an earnest desire to please.
It is also a matter of principle that presents retain a fog of mystery. That is to say, it is inappropriate to inquire as to when, where and how your present was obtained, before or after receiving it. It is also forbidden to ask about the price; if by chance there is a price sticker that the giver neglected to remove, you should throw it away promptly and act as though you never saw it. These things simply don't matter. In fact, not only is it a matter of ethics, but seeking information about presents is regarded by many superstitious people as inviting bad luck. The less you know, the better and the more magical it is.
I realise that most things I identify here as "American" (requesting gifts, giving money, wish lists) are not so much American custom as the result of crass commercialism and greed, but the fact remains that they are the de facto practises I have observed. I'm very critical of them and always do my best to give and receive presents strictly adhering to our tradition.
I whole heartly agree that the giving of an appropriate but specifically unexpected gift is what "christmas" as we commonly refer to end of year celebrations is all about... it's chance to show the people you care about that you have some understanding of their lives and desires.
What do you guys think?
Presents
I would also like to mention briefly the Russian approach to presents in order to contrast it with what I have observed in America. While the Russian approach is more traditional and European than nationally idiosyncratic, it is still a matter for illustration of difference in customs.
Presents are generally a thing intended to be shrouded in mystery and surprise. In America, it is not uncommon to simply request what you want from family or friends and to receive it without ceremony. This is unthinkable in our tradition. It is a vital element of the present that it is picked out by the person giving it, that it is sincere and comes from the heart. It is also important to be surprised; advance knowledge of your present defeats the entire purpose. Presents are generally things of quality but modest in quantity; it would be considered extremely poor form to have a "wish list" or a "Christmas list" or something so pretentious. Likewise, giving money would be regarded as very blunt, offensive and unrefined. Simply giving someone the means to buy themselves a present is contrary to the entire purpose.
This is not to say that the giver of the present should ignore the apparent wishes of the receiver and get him something totally random. On the contrary, the point is to get someone you love what they want. If you are a parent, perhaps you overheard your son or daughter talking once about something they wish they had. You should keep this in mind for a present. The point is for this to happen by implied understanding, and not by explicit request. It should be a surprise, and should be given based on an earnest desire to please.
It is also a matter of principle that presents retain a fog of mystery. That is to say, it is inappropriate to inquire as to when, where and how your present was obtained, before or after receiving it. It is also forbidden to ask about the price; if by chance there is a price sticker that the giver neglected to remove, you should throw it away promptly and act as though you never saw it. These things simply don't matter. In fact, not only is it a matter of ethics, but seeking information about presents is regarded by many superstitious people as inviting bad luck. The less you know, the better and the more magical it is.
I realise that most things I identify here as "American" (requesting gifts, giving money, wish lists) are not so much American custom as the result of crass commercialism and greed, but the fact remains that they are the de facto practises I have observed. I'm very critical of them and always do my best to give and receive presents strictly adhering to our tradition.
I whole heartly agree that the giving of an appropriate but specifically unexpected gift is what "christmas" as we commonly refer to end of year celebrations is all about... it's chance to show the people you care about that you have some understanding of their lives and desires.
What do you guys think?