Stealing from Work

[minorproblem]

Ok i decided to spawn this thread after reading the i hate my job thread. So who here steals stuff from work or has stolen from work?

And if ur brave what was it haha :P

[Necron]

I said no I dont, But Meh. I download all sorts of software and cracks from the internet at work, mmm 245kb/sec download rates.

[minorproblem]

If only time consituted stealing. I steal a hell of alot of time from my work :P

[ersatz]

time, bandwidth, pens if there are any good ones, sundry office supplies, blank CDs

[BlueBoy]

Originally posted by ersatz
time, bandwidth, pens if there are any good ones, sundry office supplies, blank CDs
I do this as well.

Friend of mine refers to one of his worksites as Officeworks.

[gooey]

at a previous job, i would get a box, fill it full of supplies (printer paper, blank cds, stationary bits and pieces, computer speakers)

put my home address on the top of the box and bring it to reception.

the helpful receptionist would then courier the package home for me.

[Pirate]

I dont steal from my current job as most things I want are free anyway. But I did pinch some stuff from my last job at PP.. well never returned is a better way of putting it.. the fat cow I worked for allowed me to borrow gear from the warehouse and when I quit I still had some gear, but since she refused to pay me my last weeks wage I decided to keep it all so it all worked out well in the end for me.

[saige]

I have in the past, I'd be surprised if no one hasn't.

The best thing I could think of is 10 Black Label Johnnies from my first real job in my current profession.

Haven't at my current job, well maybe a CD when I run out of mine, but other than that, nothing massive. At the moment someone here is constantly nicking the detergent. Funny as.

[gooey]

that reminds me

i also used to nick rolls of toilet paper from work


save valuable dollars!

[Benwah]

Originally posted by saige
At the moment someone here is constantly nicking the detergent. Funny as.

then they must be making a clean getaway.

[Benwah]

Originally posted by gooey
I also used to nick rolls of toilet paper from work

I they caught you, they would have WIPED the floor with you.

I'm puntastic today..... I'm so sorry everyone.

[frgn8r]

Originally posted by Benwah
I they caught you, they would have WIPED the floor with you.

I'm puntastic today..... I'm so sorry everyone.

Hmmm... hardly a crack up...

Gedditt....

I once stole a whole box of Cornetto's - then my ride was late, so they went south...

[Benwah]

Originally posted by frgn8r
Hmmm... hardly a crack up...

Don't SMEAR this thread with your BUM jokes ;)

[MoleTeaser]

There was no option for: Even though I hate my job, I have honour.

So I had to assume that I may have taken a pen once.

[Al]

Originally posted by ersatz
time, bandwidth, pens if there are any good ones, sundry office supplies, blank CDs

Absolutely. That's what they get for shit pay rates...

[Zan]

There is so much shit at my work that I could probably steal, but I don't.

Except for the pen that I'm currently using everywhere - at work + at uni + on the bus + at home.

Amazing that I haven't lost it yet - most of my pens have an accountable-for time of less than a week.

[WiTT]

Originally posted by big al
Absolutely. That's what they get for shit pay rates...

I second that!

[ersatz]

when I was made redundant from my last long-term job I chucked some speakers, RAM, cables, mice, keyboards etc into a big box.

I like the idea of using the company courier services. Will keep that in mind

[Truephoenix]

When i work there is nothing to steal, except maybe stuff out of people's letterboxes.

[DJos]

When I was a Sys Admin in Sydney meny useful peices of equipment got decommisioned early and then taken home. :D

[satori]

Originally posted by gooey
the helpful receptionist would then courier the package home for me.

My older sister (and Buffy's) sent a work courier to pick up cocaine from a drug dealers house once.

The courier got suspicous and checked the job with her boss. She got busted, but not big time busted. She worked in the ad industry, & maybe they are more tolerant of that sort of behaviour. She wasn't even fired.

She was very lucky the courier didn't go to the cops though.

[Plough]

nice

[Stary]

yeah, I've stolen pens, but I've donated many many, more expensive pens to work, because I object to using shithouse BIC things with the amount of writing we have to do, so I take my own.

When the boss buys the cool metallic ones tho... ;)

[and3w]

Anything & everything I could / can take

It's what the company does to it's clients so fuckem:D

[dilligaf]

Originally posted by gooey
at a previous job, i would get a box, fill it full of supplies (printer paper, blank cds, stationary bits and pieces, computer speakers)

put my home address on the top of the box and bring it to reception.

the helpful receptionist would then courier the package home for me.

Thats awesome dude.

I have walked out of mum mums work with shitloads of stuff. This was in one day by the way. 2 office chairs (leather), a monitor, 5 reams of paper & 50 blanks CD's. :D

All of this took me 5hrs to get to the car and the like, but i think it was a day well spent, compared to just sitting there and waiting for the walls to talk to me.

[Scumbag]

At my last job - fukken heaps! It was only a temporary contract, so I cleaned em up.

My loot include's;

- Dell Laptop
- tonnes of Laptop accessories
- Nokia phone accessories
- Palm pilot (sold on ebay for $400)
- CD-R's
- DVD-R's
- Tonnes of Software
- Ram Chips
- Hardrives
- CPU's
- You name it! :D

[Evil Dan]

I'm just waiting for the day that someone foolishly gives me the key to the drugs cabinet.

[excalibur]

I would, but there are 8 security cameras monitored by head office, and the shop is the size of a postage stamp, so it's too hard to do.

[tikdoph]

Originally posted by phoneyhuh
At my last job - fukken heaps! It was only a temporary contract, so I cleaned em up.

My loot include's;

- Dell Laptop
- tonnes of Laptop accessories
- Nokia phone accessories
- Palm pilot (sold on ebay for $400)
- CD-R's
- DVD-R's
- Tonnes of Software
- Ram Chips
- Hardrives
- CPU's
- You name it! :D No wonder it was only temporary... you probably put 'em out of business.

[saige]

Ahaha, that he did.

Although funny, it's a bit extreme. :p

[Scumbag]

Originally posted by tikdoph
No wonder it was only temporary... you probably put 'em out of business. lol, nah.

Their storeroom was fucking huge / full. Most of that equipment was already decomissioned. It was my job to audit every peice of shit in there.

[katana]

In a past job I got heaps of stuff. All couriered home, Chairs,PC's monitors, Hard drives,RAM,clothes, furniture,CD's games etc etc. all of it was written off assets and no use to the company and as their policy was to destroy anything they got rid of some of it found its way to my place.

One of the best ones was christmas pressies to my brother in England. Really cool T-Shirts and some other stuff all sent to England on their mail bill.

Oh and heaps of beer,my boss had a beer budget built into his yearly expenses.It was soo coool.

[damo]

2 PC's (one was even quite good at the time)
3 Monitors
Enough pens to start my own stationary shop
1 Desk, and not some little shitty one, this is a big bastard, with a return, my Dad came and got with his ute.
6 copies of win XP professional, with serial numbers
umm I could go on, but I'm having trouble thinking of more things.

[Foxfire]

Nothing spectacular, just the occasional beer or other alcoholic beverage down in the cool room.... usually a couple at a time, but nothing to really write home about.

[minorproblem]

I didnt rly steal my boss's wife said i could have it but my boss would have gone nuts. About 3 x p3 boards with processors and ram and video cards. And 1x p4 board with processor and RD Ram they where all crap second hand stuff we had thrown into a pile anyways so i asked my boss's wife and she was like yer take it. :P:P

[and3w]

Originally posted by damo
2 PC's (one was even quite good at the time)
3 Monitors
Enough pens to start my own stationary shop
1 Desk, and not some little shitty one, this is a big bastard, with a return, my Dad came and got with his ute.
6 copies of win XP professional, with serial numbers
umm I could go on, but I'm having trouble thinking of more things.

Can you spare a copy of XP Pro... I had it but my son trod on the CD and cracked it! Am willing to pay postage & packing???:p

[c:\>_]

Whilst studying I worked in a 'trendy' coffee shop in the heart of the city. They used to make lunches etc,. For extra wank value they used to deliver the lunches on a Vespa (vintage scooter).

So I took it home and didnt return it. Don't have it anymore.

[wibble]

I'm not the thieving type, although in one of my previous jobs I did steal a box of rubber bands.

Big-time stuff, eh?:rolleyes:

[minorproblem]

If i ever become a manager i am never going to trust my employees looking at these current statistics

Everything will be bolted to the desk! :p

[pleed]

i've done the usual pens, paper and blank CD's.
I use a lot of work resources for my own time though and once I took home a PC.
Currently my parents use it.

[pinchy]

http://em.net.au/images/cat_797.jpg

[Conny!]

Originally posted by saige
I have in the past, I'd be surprised if no one hasn't.

The best thing I could think of is 10 Black Label Johnnies from my first real job in my current profession.

Haven't at my current job, well maybe a CD when I run out of mine, but other than that, nothing massive. At the moment someone here is constantly nicking the detergent. Funny as.

Were you a security guard?

[primus]

when I got canned from my last job and they shut the dot com down I was working for I nicked MP3 players, Technics headphones, fuckloads of CDs, video players, mobile phones alcohol and even pens.

(it was all promo stuff so dont get too itchy on the 000 number)

[Afta Image]

I feel like such a nerd, I aint stolen shit, even the IBM pens and shit I have were given to me by the company....

[muga]

-Several full kegs and tapping equipment, almost got all the tapping equipment as well. I only had to spend around $100 for some parts I couldn't get.
-At least a case of beer a week, god it saved me so much money doing this for months on end.
-Set of 2-way radios and chargers they are fucking fantastic radios, worth several hundred bucks.
-Box of schooner glasses (30).
-Box of pint glasses (30).

That was when I was working in a club, I think a delivery driver got in trouble for the missing kegs. But he still has a job so that's good. At least people who worked their made it easy to take things, as we all took it in turns. The club was a bunch of money hungry cunts and treated us like shit so they had it commin'

[johny_roberts]

My company has nothing to take but they treat me pretty good so I doubt i would. But I used to be an evil fucker: See below:

Shit job wherehouse *music store* About a grand or more used to sell the CD's $17.15 with tax and not punch it in.

Shit job Porn store: About five or six grand maybe more bought a Trans Am with my loot. Same story used a calculator and pocketed the money

Decent job shit boss: One dell laptop still have it but my GF uses it

Decent job great boss just forgot: One shitty computer that I had to pay around $45 bucks to get rid of

If you are getting fucked by minimum wage then theiving is the way to go just dont get caught I believe it might look bad on your resume.........

[The Avatar]

I work at woolworths. Anything thats not nailed down I take. Fuck the company that fucks me, thats my philosophy.

[Fitty]

Hey I work at woolies too, and subscribe to the same philosophy.

[The Avatar]

Hey I work at woolies too, and subscribe to the same philosophy.

Nice :D

Right now our woolies is having a crack down on theft. They have secruity and constant internal checks. I have stolen more then I ever have before because Im conducting an "experiment" to see how hard it is to get fired.

Currently, I have deduced that if you just look like you should be doing what your doing, you can get away with anything.

The next step: The boss's desk...............

[gertie]

I work at woolworths. Anything thats not nailed down I take. Fuck the company that fucks me, thats my philosophy.
AH.. i remember the days of raiding woolies for anything not nailed down... doesn't count for me though as i never worked there...
however, i did manage to nick sockfulls of candy and popcorn and *spare* cash from the cinema

[ajcrowley]

never kept it for obvious reasons but i did have the "pool" car for over 8 months before anyone asked for the keys back, 4 months later i got a company car anyway and they issued me with the same one, might not have thrashed the bollox out of it if i knew that was gonna happen.

[durus]

On a positive note. I love my job and my boss would just give me just about anything I ask for.
There's a swear jar in the office and they've decided it's my brothel fund, so i'm encouraging a lot of swearing in the office :)

[mordeth]

this dude i know pushed a coke fridge home (about 1 kilometer) when he got fired from a petrol station. its sitting on my mates balcony now and gets a work out now and then holding beer at parties and barbeques.

[MisterBishi]

It's estimated that if nobody stole from their employer, we'd all be paid 10% more.

My advice to you, therefore, is to steal goods to the value of at least 10% of year salary each year.

[durus]

You need to spread some rep around before giving it to bishi again. :)

[astro]

Almost everyone in my line of work (phone systems) has at some point "found" a phone system which is now running in their house.

[deemi]

i owe my boyfriends old work my four dining room chairs desks and books shelves. ohhhhh and mum and dads christmas presents ( wine and whiskey) :banana:

[jasebert]

My old work blew something cronic so we stole quite expensive goods from there but that compensated our shitful wage.
One guy got fired and he stold a stack of computer equipment, walked past the security camera's and just kept on walking. Cops ended up at his house where they found soo much stolen gear.

I do not know the basis of my story. I am just bored. This story sounded so much cooler in my head.

[StudMuffin]

i have no job, but if i did, yes because i'm skint

[DAnube]

im a dougie for pizza hut, stolen enough food to feed an ethiopian family for 3 years
...and fuel vouchers

[KrisEz]

ive misplaced gear weighing in excess of 45 kilos, out the front door, onto a BUS. and waved bye to people on the way out.
doof
doof
doof.

[dogwomble]

I voted "I stole a pen from work once" because I actually did ... completely by accident *blush*

[C0V3R]

http://em.net.au/images/cat_797.jpg

Where'd you hide it? Under the matress? :greenman:

[Munchkin]

I used to work in a lab, and in case of a power failure there was a bunch of these light sticks that you snap in half and they glow, so you could find your way to safety.

Took ages to pluck up the courage to do so, since there were only a few, but one evening, me and a fellow colleague turned the lights off, snapped em and had a pretend light saber fight :o ( Does doing that while at work count as stealing from your workplace still :D )


That, and the normal hoard of pens/pencils too I spose.

[ElevatorShoes]

I work for a large Champagne distributor is the US. I steal daily: wine racks, POS, champagne, pens, decor, etc.

Kill the poor.

[mr_russy]

yes i have stolen a pen before. im ashamed of myself

[Tank]

Me? I don't steal from work, they were nice enough to actually give me a job... but now they are starting to fuck me..... therefore....

I work at a liqour store

[TheMightyPhill]

Best effort I managed was a carton of beer down the strides, 4 bottles of wine and two water bottles emptied and filled with vodka... all in one go.... filled up set the alarm walked under a half a dozen camera's looking like I had shat myself and made an uncomfortable escape. Bits of cash here and there but not nearly enough. Biggest regret not knocking off a whole lot more. Idiot. Inconsequental now.
Had a mate who was fucking a check out chick and she used to put security seal on everything he took to checkout, never had to pay a cent. He also knocked off a role of 99c stickers from a well known chain he worked in and used them in every other store around town just to prove a point.

[timace]

Nothing to steal!
Well, nothing that's worthy of theft

[T-WRX]

I can't steal fuckall! One of the unfortunate drawbacks to being un-employed..... You guys are so lucky you get to steal shit.

[ms edeity]

I work for a large Champagne distributor is the US. I steal daily: wine racks, POS, champagne, pens, decor, etc.

Kill the poor.

sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship! i only admit to stealing whatever i could get away with...and the job in the first place if you count fake resumes.

[ms edeity]

ps it's all factored in to loss. and it's a sad day that lawyers couldn't justify it all under worker's comp..... so i say it's completely depraved (and i applaud so long as no one records it) ....STEALING IS WRONG!

[vantastic]

Samurai sword, Fireworks, DVD-R (When they were expensive!!) Carton o packing tape, USB Sticks, 60cm Steel Ruler (haha that was a classic taking that one! Are u happy to see me or is that a ruler in ur pants!?)

Time, extended lunch breaks, tanks of fuel, new tyres...

The list goes on... and i'm going to hell where i will be tortured by "The Workforce" for eternity roflmao


:aah:

[Tigress]

I've grabbed heaps of shit, but most of the time because I have worked for companies that either go bust or are bought.

The best way to steal shit...get afterhours access, park your car in the car park and 'pop in on the weekend to pick up some paperwork' and you can load as much as you want. Mind you, the best I ever got doing this was paper, DVDs and a webcam.

[Holster]

We can’t do that at work, the entire building has video surveillance inside and out.

[beachcomber]

I'm too big a geek to steal

[gimpieman]

gloria jeans punched cards up to one free regular drink

have about 53 now

what a rort, im set for drinks anywhere theres a gj's

[Holster]

That's a good thing?

[Something Fast]

I stole some empty, unused autoclave bags from uni. For the biohazard symbol.

[AsterisK]

I prefer to say I am "borrowing it unknowingly", but I have a 15" LG flatscreen sitting here :)
Also have a "written off" projector that works perfectly, an unused, boxed copy of windows xp pro, various bits of stationary which I now use for uni, and maybe coming soon, a few linux boxes. oh and i have a written off laser printer...

[s3raph]

Are you for real?

[AsterisK]

dont tell anyone

[DrDivad]

so far i haven't had a job with any decent stash, or if it did have stash it was impossible to steal...

Hell i coulda flogged a fair few porches at my security job, but i don't see me getting further than a few kilometres before that one goes astray. Maybe if i got a new job somehow with a completely fake identity, then if the guy i work with is in on the scam (i.e. also fake identity) we pick ourselves a car each, open the gate and cheeeeeeeeeeese it!

[anothe]

i stole all the money in my register

(lie)


impressive no?



(not impressive)

[lostreality]

i work for my self so it owuld be completely pointless.

[s3raph]

What about stealing from your employee's then? Or alternatively, clients?

[StudMuffin]

i start my first job on saturday... and i'm sooo gonna steal something. Although it is in a garden centre... hmm maybe some fox gloves...

[munganah]

food, lots of food

[FatherShark]

In my various incarnations of employment, I have stolen alcohol and food from the staff room, a thousand dollars in petty cash, stationary, and most impressively a bar fridge.

[LauraleeBug]

I dont steal from my current job as most things I want are free anyway. But I did pinch some stuff from my last job at PP.. well never returned is a better way of putting it.. the fat cow I worked for allowed me to borrow gear from the warehouse and when I quit I still had some gear, but since she refused to pay me my last weeks wage I decided to keep it all so it all worked out well in the end for me.

That bitch used to take OUR equipment! Android would make it work, then she'd sell it - we had to take the machine apart & then would *give* us something in return - usually something we didn't need..

Sure, I need a scanner (b'day prez to Android once); how that I have no more bloody RAM or big enough drives to hold photos, but thanx anyway, bitch - I especially appreciated you almost getting my dog killed on the highway, because you *insisted* to take her for a walk across the highway.

She is currently enjoying her terrible, terrible, karma, I fear :)



I can't wait to look this bitch in the eye and tell her I never ever was forced to take even one step off Australian land... as if she has the power to fuck up my life...

No one but me can do that, but I do hate ppl that fuck "with" my life... I ain't getting no younger here! :D

Good on you boss... Too bad you didn't make a copy of the key, we talked about helping you empty the joint long ago - LOL! ( j/k of course)...

Me, I live to see the straitjacket put on her when she has to hand me a cashier's check...

But then again, with Android away in hospital for weeks - I have time for revenge fantasies. BTW - Melissa drove me to see him the other night... Haven't seen her in awhile, but she's well, but still afraid to run into her somewhere... Poor girl, the bitch really abused the fuck out of a LOT of ppl....

The Boss deserves an award for getting out of there: anybody wanna :clap: w/me?!

[LauraleeBug]

thread killer :(

[Yogi]

This is a fucking enlighting thread.. holy shit if you guys arent lying you have no shame.. I never stole anything.. But thne again most of the time there was nothing worth stealing or big brother was there. People stealing fucking laptops wow..

[minorproblem]

Talk about thread necromancy

[hymartin]

I would make myself a cup of coffee while working...and pizza, when I felt hungry, I would make one for myself with loooots of cheese...XD
BUT I didn't go it regularly...guess everybody would do it if you work in a cafe as PART-TIME? It was not that I really wanted to eat this stuffs, sometimes just wanted to make some fun out of it...=D

”偷来的东西吃得香，一起吃更有味“,ahahahahahahaha!!

[Shampyon]

Talk about thread necromancy

Looks like stealing isn't the only popular thing now, eh?

:elefant: