Future Darwin Award Winners.

[Foxfire]

Inspired by a complete fucktard that came into work last night.

Where have you encountered someone who will, sooner rather than later, end up as a darwin statistic?

Here's the story...

I'm currently working at a woolies petrol station in brisbane. This car rocks up and starts filling up with gas. It finishes it's business and the three guys who were in it come inside the store... I stare in amazement at one of them... who walks in... with a lit, half smoked cigarette, which he is puffing away on (petrol station remember). I look at him and say as politely as possible "You know there's no smoking at petrol stations right?" He returns me with a look of complete innocence and replies "Oh sorry... I didn't realise you weren't allowed to smoke at petrol stations" and he stepped outside the door and put it out.

I was stunned... the complete tard could have blown us all to hell and back again and he 'didn't know you weren't allowed to smoke at petrol stations'.

[Bostonmess]

hahahah. You should have started complaining about secondary smoking being a real killer :D

I work at this engineering place and ages ago there was this young lad that had just started, he'd been there about three weeks. He'd just that week got his steel toe cap boots from the youth training scheme he was on.

Anyway we got this delivery of steel bars, big 65 mm hexagon about 10 to 12 foot long, they weigh about 80 to 100 k. For some bizarre reason we were puttin 'em on the top rack (maybe the lower ones were full?) anyway, you stack 'em flat to flat to stop the weight from pushing 'em off if you get me. Unfortunately this time we were just slinging 'em on any old how, sure enough we get about fifteen? of these bars on the rack and one of 'em slips through the bundle and starts shoving loads off.

Quick as a brown flash I'm out of there. I turn round and he's (he was only a little 16? year old) stood there in the middle under 'em trying to stop 'em from falling. All these steel bars bouncing about around his feet.

I shouts: "What you doing you silly cunt?" and he comes out of the way. I'm saying you'll get yourself fucking killed, fuck the steel we'll pick it up later.

He looks down and he's got a big gouge in his steel toe cap. The lucky bastard, it would have crushed his toes.

[Kezza]

A few years ago (about 5) when I was at TAFE doing Eletrical Engineering - one of the modules was Metal Design and consisted of making a few peices of equipment in a metal work design class.. In any event, part of it was to use an Oxy-welder and join a few bits and peices ...

Anyhow, there was some dumb fuck who decided that he would use this intensely hot flame on the actual gas cylinder itself - to this day, I don't think anyone knows what he was thinking however once the teacher saw what he was doing he pratically flew the 30 metres across the room picked this guy up and literally threw him out of the room - he had no idea what had hit him.

After the event he was asked "What were you trying to do?" his answer.. "See how hot the gas bottle could get.." If he had of left it there for another couple of minutes I doubt anyone in that class would be here to tell the tale - absolute tard.

He was susquently thrown out of the course as he was considered "too much of a liability" :)

[That Bloke]

Me!! (http://forums.zgeek.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12195)

[Jimma]

Nodbugger, clearly. I'd support the nomination with an example but he'd win either way so I wont bother.

[That Bloke]

Originally posted by Foxfire
starts filling up with gas.


I guess maybe for the benefit of our American counterparts it should be noted that "Gas" refers to LPG(Propane) not Petrol.

[King_Crud]

In year eleven woodward a tard who everyone hated was using the circular saw whilst wearing a loose jumper. Needless to say it got caught in the saw but fortunately the jumper was thick enough to jam up the saw and stop it. He only got a small slice on his arm that got a couple of stiches. I was the first one to see him after it happened, he was stuck in the saw with a look of death on his face. I pointed and started laughing. Due to him being disliked by everyone that's what the others did. The teacher yelled at him because he might have damaged the saw. Fucking tard.

In year 8 metal work a guy i knew stuck a file into the drill press and started it. The file went flying into the shoulder of a fellow student who had to go to hospital, it was wedged in inch in. The guy who did it got suspended for two weeks

[DOGG]

You know what's stupider than people smoking at petrol stations? Cigarette bins/ashtrays at petrol stations.

Petrol stations aren't as easy to blow up as you think. Back in my younger days i had heaps of friends who would smoke in front of the local Qix (sp?) after a bball game. Being a smoker myself, i soon started smoking there also. I wasnt going run 100m for cover every time someone sparked up.

I've seen 2 videos of fires at petrol stations in america. I dont think they blew up either. Apparently in one a spark from static on the person lit up the fumes and flames started shooting out the tank.

[excalibur]

It is possible to put a cigarette out in petrol, because the vapour is falmmable, the liquid is a lot more stable. the only problem is that if the day is warm enough to make the vapour, and someone sparks up, your all fucked.

[That Bloke]

Apparently mobile phones around petrol fumes & released LPG are more dangerous than a cigerette, it's the near microwave frequencies they emit.

[urban_gorilla]

i nominate the two hopeless bogans i had to put up with on the train this morning. ignore the fact i was very tired, and could have done with the nap, but unfortunately had to listen to these two genius' prattle on.
who would have thought you could have a conversatin about how hard this girl "smashed some fucking cunt" the other day?
for an hour and a half no less.
add to that the fact that 90% of sentences consisted of roughly three words; "fuck", "cunt", "smash" or one of their variants.

i almost picked them up by the throat and beat the snot out of them (honest, im all tough and stuff)

[badpauly]

Originally posted by excalibur
It is possible to put a cigarette out in petrol, because the vapour is falmmable, the liquid is a lot more stable. the only problem is that if the day is warm enough to make the vapour, and someone sparks up, your all fucked.

Here comes the science.

Gasses burn, liquids do not. When you see a liquid burning, it is actualy just the gasses that are alight.

Gas is actually safer than you think, the flammable range at standard temperature and pressure extends between approximately 2 % of the vapour in air at its lower limit and approximately 10 % of the vapour in air at its upper limit. Within this range there is a risk of ignition. Outside this range any mixture is either too weak or too rich to propagate flame.

[Foxfire]

Originally posted by That_Bloke
I guess maybe for the benefit of our American counterparts it should be noted that "Gas" refers to LPG(Propane) not Petrol.

Actually I was just slanging gas for petrol. It's mainly only the taxi's that use LPG.

[damo]

Originally posted by Bostonmess
Quick as a brown flash I'm out of there. I turn round and he's (he was only a little 16? year old) stood there in the middle under 'em trying to stop 'em from falling. All these steel bars bouncing about around his feet.

I shouts: "What you doing you silly cunt?" and he comes out of the way. I'm saying you'll get yourself fucking killed, fuck the steel we'll pick it up later.

He looks down and he's got a big gouge in his steel toe cap. The lucky bastard, it would have crushed his toes.

I had a similar incident, doing some part time work for my Dad, who builds big arse industrial fans. I was cleaning off in impeller from a fan which had been down a mine shaft for 20 years, and was rolling it forward to get at it better, damn thing got the wobbles, so I tried to stop it going over, only problem was it weighed half a tonne, and I only weighed 60kg (I should have taken physics instead of chemistry at high school). It took 3 guys to lift it off me, and only then they could get it just high enough for a 4th to pull me out. It broke my right femur clean in 2, none of this fracture rubbish. 2 weeks in hospital, 12 months with a 2ft rod holding my leg together, and dozens of physio therapy sessions and over $125,000.00 in medical bills (all paid for by GIO workers compensation insurance) later, I have nothing to show for it, except for a huge scar on my thigh from the 2 operations I had to have, no limp, no lengthening / shortening of the leg, 100% movement etc etc. I think I was very very lucky. Although I would have been more lucky if I had had the sense to run, instead of try to hold the impeller up

[bassbogan]

Do I get the darwin award for being accident prone? like splittin my head open 3 times as a kid.....or do I not qualify :(

[Bostonmess]

I was about thirteenish? and we used to go mess about at this quarry/mine or something or other. Anyway there were these pits full of slurry/mud that had a hard crust over the top. We used to call 'em the wobblies. You could walk on them and feel the liquid underneath moving. You could even jump up and down and to some extent it would hold, although once someone's foot did go through after he'd been stamping on it for a while.

One day we took a short cut across the quarry on our way home and one of the mates thought it would be a good idea to take a running jump onto the wobblies. Unfortunately what appeared to be a hard crust was just a thin sprinkling of dust. Lucky for him he landed near the side and only went in upto his thighs. He couldn't get himself out, he was saying it was sucking him in. He was panicking frantically (as opposed to panicking calmly), we were pissing ourselves but after a few minutes of enjoying his fear we decided to pull him out, minus a shoe.

[bassbogan]

Its all fun and games until someone loses a.....shoe ?

[Bostonmess]

Here's one about a mate's brother's mates.

They decided to make some petrol bombs (molotov cocktails). You wouldn't think it was that hard to get the design wrong on a molotov cocktail, but they didn't pack the wick in tight. When one of 'em pulled his arm back to throw it, he tipped the petrol all over his back, the wick fell out and set him on fire.