Age differences

[Glompbot]

Does a large age gap bother you? What do you find to be an acceptable age difference? Do you prefer it that the older person in the relationship is the male, or the female? Do you think a large/small age difference can have a big impact upon the relationship?


I definitely prefer older males... I've dated younger onces twice, but they were only a year younger than me... The oldest guy I've dated was 12 years older than me. Usually though, there is a 3-7 year age gap between me and the older guy. Any relationship I seem to have with guys around my age don't last very long.

I don't think that the age gap between me and the guy who was 12 years older made much of a difference except he occasionally recieved comments from other people that I was too young. I didn't feel it changed anything.
With younger guys I can't help thinking of them as 'boys' and that impacts negatively upon the relationship.

[beerbaron]

depends on how mature or immature one is
age difference shouldnt really matter
as long as you both dont have any problems about the age , then all is good

[Psycho Jon]

It doesn't really matter...

I've dated a lady ten years my senior, I've also recently broken up with a lady who was twelve years my junior...

I'd try to avoid going out with a lady that much younger again, culture shock!

Age isn't really a factor though, rather the person themselves. Are they mature enough for you, do they make you happy?

Do they make you do things you would rather you hadn't done...

Meh... Life is too short to stress out about a persons age or appearance, instead of the person inside.

[SamBo]

I dont mean to sound harsh here, but I think the problem here is you and the way you seem to put such an importance on a partner's age.
If you are really interested in a guy, his age should be irrelevant (and comments from other people such as what you used as an example should also be irrelevant).
Young people can be mature. Old people can be immature. It varies. One's age doesn't necessarily define our maturity level or how we get on with a partner.
I've only dated girls who are younger than me, but that was never a deliberate thing. I don't find age an issue (although I would never break any laws etc.... hehe), I find that if a person is genuinly interesting, then I will want to get to know them, regardless of their age.

[Glompbot]

Its not that i'm putting an importance on it... I just thought it'd be interesting to see peoples feelings.

I do care about age to a degree, but provided the person is at least a few years older than me, i don't have a problem with it... when they're around my age, like I already said... I tend to feel they're not very mature.

[Springer]

Meh, makes no difference. I'd prefer someone the same (or around the same age) as me, but like Sambo said, in the end, it dosnt bother me.

Though dating a girl 5+ years older than me would be a little weird for me, since im such a kid... the minute she tells me to stop watching cartoons, im outta there!

[MaJeztik]

Iv always gone for chicks that are younger, but Iv been thinkin recently that I might give an older chick a go.

I was really shallow once & dumped a chick coz she was older than me by 2 months.

Meh we will see ay?

[Springer]

2 months?! jeeebus, u suck dude :)

[Lina]

I don't care. As long as I'm attracted to them, they to me, they hold my attention and amuse me I really couldn't give a damn.

Although I think the line for me is anyone 20 or under. Purely because people 20 or under generally just don't have the life experience I require in a relationship of any description.

[BtrFly]

thing is in past times, an older gentleman (yes, occasionally they exist!) was seen as a source of wealth, and had an ability to pay for offspring. a younger female generally meant she had a better chance of living through childbirth, and having more children. Hence the older man/younger woman thing...

personally i prefer older guys, they tend to be more mature. i have dated my own age, younger and older, and thats my preference. so long as they arent too old, i have a big thing against dating someone who is old enough to be my dad....

[Cassa]

I think once you're in your mid-twenties, referring to people your own age as immature is a bit silly..I mean...we're not adolescents anymore here.

[Ic3]

Personally, I don't care about the age difference, but of my last 5 girlfriends, 4 of them have been at least a year younger, and one of them 4 years. The other one was a year older.

I don't care, but I've found a lot of girls usually prefer the older guys rather than guys their age.

[BtrFly]

we may not be adolescents, however, the mental age of people can and will be different... some mature early, some late, some never at all! i was just stating a fact...

[roddez]

I could be course and say that you are only as old as the man/woman you are feeling.

But seriously, physical age difference is one thing, but the real issue is mental age.

Where I am contracting at the moment, there are two young girls, both 18. One behaves as if she is 25 and the other as if she were 16. Not surprisingly, they are both going out with people of they ages they appear to be.

My wife is six years older than me and it has never been an issue. In fact, when we met, we didn't even ask each others age for a few months.

Like a lot of things in life, it is only an issue if you make it one. Mind you, there are exceptions. . .Woody and Mia spring to mind. . .

[Chocoholic]

One of my best friend is married to a guy who is 12 years her senior. No one really has a problem with it, however from what I see, I would say it is something that does add a dynamic to the relationship. He has a lot more life experience to draw from and while his friends are great, they are at different life stage than hers.

Me: Young boys tend to be my weakness, they are so much fun! Though judging some one by their age is fucking stupid

[Psycho Jon]

My wife is six years older than me and it has never been an issue. In fact, when we met, we didn't even ask each others age for a few months.

I only found out that one ex was ten years older than me after we broke up...

[spurr]

To quote the poet R Kelly, "age ain't nothin' but a number baby" :p

Seriously, I think age difference should be the least of anyone's concern in a relationship. If I was dating a 10 year old (hypothetically, you pervo) I would still be the immature one, so I look for more tangible qualities in da ladies.

[Elf_Girl]

to be honest age doesn't really matter to me. i get shit at school almost every day because my bf is 2 and a bit years older (so stupid). i dont really care. i love him, thats all that matters to me.

[rin]

age has never mattered to me, although the guys i've dated have always been younger. i agree that age has nothing to do with how mature you are...

as long as your happy in your relationship, then that's all that matters.

[minorproblem]

One of my best friend is married to a guy who is 12 years her senior. No one really has a problem with it, however from what I see, I would say it is something that does add a dynamic to the relationship. He has a lot more life experience to draw from and while his friends are great, they are at different life stage than hers.

Me: Young boys tend to be my weakness, they are so much fun! Though judging some one by their age is fucking stupid


Immature=fun
yay for me

What the hell is wrong with immature you are all party poopers im suprised cause i think younger guys wouldn't want to date you because you are too boring.

[Turtle_Wrangler]

Immature=fun
yay for me

What the hell is wrong with immature you are all party poopers im suprised cause i think younger guys wouldn't want to date you because you are too boring.

For some people, permanence is valued over a couple weeks of fun.

Back on topic, my girlfriend is 3 years younger than I am, (which doesnt seem like a lot, but it was terribly awkward asking her out when she was 16 and I was 19.. thought her parents would kill me.) but has always been quite mature. That's not to say she doesnt have a fun side though. Really, its about balancing the two...

edit: and on the real topic, I think if you're talking about whats generally acceptable in "society," its really a matter of a variable ratio rather than a fixed value as a gap... noones gonna think twice about a 35 y/o dating a 45 y/o... but when a 12 year old is dating a 22 year old heads are gonna turn, even though both scenerios have a 10 year gap.

[Springer]

Immature=fun
yay for me

What the hell is wrong with immature you are all party poopers im suprised cause i think younger guys wouldn't want to date you because you are too boring.

Thats true, who the hell would i watch cartoons with?!

[locust]

Immature=fun
yay for me

What the hell is wrong with immature you are all party poopers im suprised cause i think younger guys wouldn't want to date you because you are too boring.
Well that depends on what you consider to be 'immature,' cue a rant on one of my pet peeves..

As far as I'm concerned maturity's all about meeting and accepting responsibilities and consequences. Getting pissed and running around stupidly is not immature. Getting pissed and not showing up to work the next day and missing a deadline as a result is.

[Asmodeus]

doesn't really make a huge difference when I just look at teh numbers. As we get older, teh age difference matters less since I think we start to perceive the percentage difference and not the absolute difference. whats teh difference of 5 years to people in their 60's vs people in their 20's

only thing i hit at times with people 5 years outside of my age is a generation gap that becomes ever widening. might be differetn where most of you are, but I grew up in a time of wildly varying changes. people 3-5 years on either end of me have vastly different experiences throughout their formative years and stages.

[Al]

My ex said I was immature, I'm not really sure why. She never was good at qualifying those things. I'm good at taking care of my responsibilities, but I guess in some respects I've got a lot of 'growing up' to do. I'll do that when I'm too old to have any fun!

Age gaps... Dated a 17yo chick for a little while, that was no good... Don't mind older chicks as long as they're hot... I think around the same age suits me.

[minorproblem]

For some people, permanence is valued over a couple weeks of fun.


Just wanted to let you know ive been in 1 relationship for the past 2 years and im immature as hell.

[ShadowNemesis]

When I was almost 18 I was dating a 37yr old guy whose daughter went to the same school I did in year 8. It was pretty good, he actually taught me a lot, and no it wasn't all sex.

[Cassa]

Kind of in relation to what Asmo said, I would think that for people of my generation and the one before that (well, most people on Zgeek really, anyone between the ages of about 20 to 40) would have experienced fairly similar worlds growing up and be of fairly similar world views (obvious political/religious differences notwithstanding). I think than the next generation though, the ones that are kids and teenagers now are going to be pretty different when they reach our vintage...their world is sadly a lot different to the one we all grew up in, and not really for the better.

[Lina]

I think the definition of maturity has become a little skewed in here - I think maturity comes with life experience. I don't think because I watch cartoons and still play playstation and have fun and sometimes pout when I don't get my way means I'm immature (ok, maybe the pouting part is ;) ) or anyone else for that matter. Maturity does not equal being boring, in my honest humble little opinion.

[Deimos]

I'm surprised nobody here has mentinoed the generally accepted "Half your age plus 7" rule. A lot of people use that (if not as a hard and fast rule as a guideline) and think it is fairly sensible.

[Glompbot]

Never heard that before....

[Elf_Girl]

i love being immature!
one thing i dislike about age differences however..is if your partner has well how to say.. "grown up and slowely moving on" *sigh* hate long distance relationships :P

[and3w]

Age shouldn't be a problem as long as you both have the same mindset. Having said that, it also depends on what age you are...ie: I, for one, would not want to go with anyone under 25 in general; that is because of my age, not their problem.
As several people said, if you are simpatico it really doesn't matter!

[WiTT]

I think age makes a big difference, i was dating a girl (18) mind you i am 22 and damn i found she gave me the shits, she tried to act all grown up n crap, but her attitude was heaps fake.

[sweeet]

I was really shallow once & dumped a chick coz she was older than me by 2 months.

Shallow?

I'd use the word STUPID but it doesn't seem to be strong enough.

[Afro88]

The rule of thumb at school for younger girls was always (age/2)+7

So lets say you're 22: 19 is the youngest. 16? 15 is the youngest (I'm sure we can all do elementary math here, I'm just demonstrating). I've always found this rule to be quite correct regarding guys dating younger girls.

As for older girls, I've only been out with girls older than me by a few months or so. I've personally found that relationships with girls younger than me haven't gone too well, whereas with girls close to my age they've been great. That's in my experience anyway

[WiTT]

i think when it comes to women: be careful if they ride a bike..... because they might be a dyke, or what's even worst is that they might be a cyclist!

[Lurgen]

If it helps I'm 4 years older than my girlie, and it's not a factor at all.

[Nandragon]

It only matters if your under the age of 20.
The term jailbait comes to mind.

For you females out there typically, guys under 35 are out for their own enjoyment. I've found that older men get off on making you sqirm and begging for it, and they can prolong their ejaculation.

I prefer 36yo men, over 40 and their health problems get in the way. Yes it's all about sex dearies.

Mentally I prefer thm over 35 too.

[Kyle]

I really don't care how different the age is unless it crosses the "puberty" gap. Like a 12 year old going out with a 24 year old would be odd in my mind, but a 20 year old going out with a 32 year old wouldnt be bad. Whatever it is, it's the person's choice, so whatever.

[polite]

Mmmmm, I've had quite a bit of experience of this over the last 23 years so here are my thoughts.
When I had just turned 17 I was working and needed somewhere to live. I put a ad in the paper and recieved a reply.I knocked on the door of the given address and a woman of exemplary beauty opened it. My sexual experiences to that point were sticky fumblings in cars.I was wondering what the hoo-haa was all about.She was 32 which seemed ancient to me at the time.After agreeing on a fee for board and lodgings I moved in (she was a teacher). Oh my word!!.
After a couple of sleeps by myself I got a visit in the middle of the night that changed my outlook forever.
To all the older women of the world, Thanks!!!

P.S I'm way older than 23 in case I am misconstrued. :D

[That Bloke]

Until the last couple of years I used to think that 3 years either side of my own age would be too much of a gap for comfort but now I'm noticing that although there does seem to be a big difference between say a 17 year old a 19 year old there doesn't seem to be a great deal of difference between a 19 year old & anyone older, when I was in the later part of 21 I'd have seen an 18 year old as being too different from me but now I'm almost 26 & I don't see a 19 year old as being that different from me.

Is 19 some kind of turning point?

It's a bit of a moot point for me, 1997 is the last time I was ever attracted to someone new.

I don't even remember how you can tell if you're attracted to someone anymore.

[BlakPantSamurai]

I always thought that 2 years either way of me would be too great, and that it would have to be 1 year either way (i was pretty damn picky). Im currently 17 and dating a 19 year old girl, and this relationship has been the best that i have ever had. ROCK ON :D!

[sciwra]

Bah it doesn't matter, half the relationships we get into end anyway so have fun with it. I've dated 14 years my senior and 6 years my junior. All were good in their own way.

The girl I've ended up with and most likely will stay with till the whole dead thing is 3 years my junior. To be honest though, people I know who got hitched well outside their generation were fine.

Until later in life that is, problems started arising, though I am talking about more than 10 years difference.

Oh well, do what you all want, I know you will anyway :P

[r0p3 g1rl]

Bah it doesn't matter, half the relationships we get into end anyway so have fun with it. I've dated 14 years my senior and 6 years my junior. All were good in their own way.

The girl I've ended up with and most likely will stay with till the whole dead thing is 3 years my junior. To be honest though, people I know who got hitched well outside their generation were fine.

Until later in life that is, problems started arising, though I am talking about more than 10 years difference.

Oh well, do what you all want, I know you will anyway :P

Gee i thought you'd be married by now! :p

or is she still over seas?

[Aardvark]

Hey, any hole's a goal. As long as there's no bones cracking when you break her in and you can live with yourself afterwards, who cares?

Heheh, no one'll ever guess where I was leaning with that one

[lostreality]

lolz wtf

[durus]

I'm currently draw the line at more than 2 years older or under 20. The more than 2 years older is just because i think going out with someone that much older than me would weird me out. Under 20 is there because it's pretty rare to find someone who is under 20 and at the maturity level i'd want for a relationship. To be fair if i met someone amazing who was 18 or 40 i'd probably give it a go anyway.

[ms edeity]

that leaves me out durus you douche

[durus]

you'd be an exception ms. except for you're busy getting busy with edeity and that pretty much gets you a life ban :p

[catt]

My hubby is 17 years older than me, and most of the time age isn't an issue, we have similar likes and dislikes, it works for us but I wouldn't think it would necessarily work for every couple :)

[That Bloke]

Moot point but I think for me they'd have to be withing 5 years of my age one way or another(younger or older), until about the age of 22 it had been 3 years ethier side of my age.

[Ic3]

I just broke up with a girl i had been seeing for a month. She was 6 years younger than me (i'm 24, she was 18) and whilst she was pretty mature for her age, and we got on fine when it was just us two, as soon as we were out with her friends, i felt way too uncomfortable, as most of them were typical 18 yr olds, and my gf turned into one of those as well.

Since I wasn't gonna tell her we can't see her friends until they are mature, i felt it was time to break it up.

Age difference doesn't matter, it's how comfortable you feel. A girl i am going to ask out is 21. I know all her friends, so I know I won't have a problem with her or the age difference.

[beerbaron]

im engaged to a girl who is 7 years younger than me ( im 31 )

[Brenda]

At 15 i dated a 25 year old. Admittedly illegal but the mentality shared was fairly balanced. Its the curve balls that make life interesting.

[Sagacious]

Hey, any hole's a goal. As long as there's no bones cracking when you break her in and you can live with yourself afterwards, who cares?

Heheh, no one'll ever guess where I was leaning with that one

http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/files/8/3/1/1/seconded_689002.GIF

[dilligaf]

Half your age plus 7.

Mathematically:

(age/2) + 7

[Serpent_Girl]

As long as they're the right person it doesn't matter. Everyone is different, judge people by who they are, not their age. It's only a rough generalised guideline.

[Glompbot]

When i was 17 through to 19 i dated a guy 12 years older than me

Scary thing was there was the same age difference between him and me, as him and my mum.


I currently put my limit at 30... which is 6 years older than me...

BUT, if i met someone right, then I wouldn't care about age too much, as long as they physically and mentally stimulated me.

[and3w]

From my years of experience, I have come to the immutable conclusion : DON'T DATE!!! Just have fuck-friends (female, of course). It saves a LOT of grief!

[~vjay~]

My general rule would be not any more than 10 years older and not any more than 5 years younger (I'm 31)

Can't really use age limits as a basis for a relationship though, to date the oldest guy I've been with was 7 years older than me and I could have found more maturity in a block of cheese, scary that.

[and3w]

http://www.forumspile.com/No-Noes.jpg

I'm too old for vjay :huh:

[Sagacious]

From my years of experience, I have come to the immutable conclusion : DON'T DATE!!! Just have fuck-friends (female, of course). It saves a LOT of grief!

I used to take this approach in my younger single days...

...If they can't take a joke, Fuck them. If they can, marry them.

I slept with a lot of girls with not much in the way of a sense of humour at least not when it came to laughing at themselves.

[pinchy]

I think that going by age alone is a bad idea, as you can connect with a variety of people regardless of age - it depends on much much more! That said, the one I've connected with right now is only 7 months younger than me.