Is Your girlfriend A Psycho? but do you still love her?

[Sir_Palatine]

Here I am trying to write responses to posts... and my girlfriend is next to me trying to burn my arm hairs.. or patches in them.. or patterns... geeeeez.

So.. let's get the ball rolling on Psycho Girlfriends old and new!

And yeah.. I love mine still ;)

[dozer]

cut your losses, youll thank yourself 5 yrs down the path

[Sir_Palatine]

cut your losses, youll thank yourself 5 yrs down the path

Nah.. this one is cool... harmless hair singeing.

However.. my FIRST girlfriend once threw a stone potplant at my head.. which luckily for me I ducked. *shudder*.. that and the constant scratching at my face.. pulling my hair.. slapping me.. shouting.. endless argument-phone calls.. oh.. could go on..

[dozer]

ive seen my tv kicked in, flying plates/vases/smashables, biting to bleed, emotional vomiting, kitchen kinives and even a welder used for not the purpose they were designed, hell hath no fury like the opposite secks, and they say we make them crazy

you may have to move this to the relationship forum before the big people wake up

[tikdoph]

my girlfriend is next to me trying to burn my arm hairs.. Nah.. this one is cool... harmless hair singeing... my FIRST girlfriend once threw a stone potplant at my head.. which luckily for me I ducked. *shudder*.. that and the constant scratching at my face.. pulling my hair.. slapping me.. shouting.. endless argument-phone calls.. Dude, with that kind of track record, harmless could turn to armless in a matter of seconds.

[Lioness]

At least is seems like she was doin it playfully....that other gal sounds 'orrible :(

I havnt had a psycho bf...but i have had the standard issue angry jealous ones...

[durus]

I've got a bad track record.
Had the cheating liar (she cheated on me, then tried to tell the world that i'd gotten her preggers when i broke up with her).

Had the stalker (i moved house, HAHA)

Most recent X-GF, started out ok, but we fight all the damn time so i recently called it off. I say she's psycho because she liked to provoke me into the biggest screaming arguments. She'd just keep pushing till it got there and wouldn't give me any space. grrrrrrrrrr. Pisses me off but i still care.

[metalhed00]

I had one try the pregnant trick also when I tried to break up with her.

I also had one call me a fag, I guess she didn't like in the butt. :D

[kleph]

two words. coke addict.

[dwarfthrower]

My current wife is the most even tempered, reasonable soul I have ever met... In the five years, two kids and a mortgage we've had together I can still count on one hand the number of arguments we've had (and I'll happily admit they were all my fault).

My ex wife on the other hand was truly psychotic. Would call me at least seven times each day, just to find out where I was at the time, would accuse me of screwing any female acquaintance I dared to mention in her presence. Would count the money in my wallet in the morning and evening and demand I account for any discrepancies. Would refuse to talk to me for days at a time without giving a reason... Bah, so glad I left.

[el_guapo]

I had one tell me she was pregnant right before I told her I had a vasectomy

[Elf_Girl]

i bet my boyfriend will post in here about me going mental at him every night. :P

[MaJeztik]

My gf is a slut & will burn in hell for eternity...

spose thats why she is my ex now.

[Drinking Duck]

If trees had cunts you would burn women

[MaJeztik]

If trees had cunts you would burn women

ahaha thats awesome, i want it for my sig.

[SamBo]

I had an ex who was just fucking nuts. If she didn't get EVERYTHING her own way, she just went ballistic. I was actually living with her for a while and in that time I even saw her get physically violent with her parents.
One time I was going to leave (not permanently, but just go and chill out for a while, alone) and she wouldn't let me leave. She started hitting me in the face, ripped the shirt I was wearing and kept screaming at me. When I eventually got to my car, I locked the doors so she couldn't get in, and so she went and stood infront of the car, blocking me. So I went to put it in reverse and go around her, so she literally jumped onto the bonnet of my car and wouldn't move. She saw me reaching for my phone (I was gonna call the cops as this was just getting nasty), so she jumped off, grabbed a small terracotta pot (just happened to be lying around) and she then proceeded to attempt to smash the window of my car!!!
Thank fuck I have nothing to do with that psycho brat anymore.... :eek:

[Drinking Duck]

Oh Fish smokes

[sperm]

Well in my bitter cynical world, all women are psycho in some way. In fact everyone has got their own issues.
When it boils down to it, I believe that the ideal of soul mates and a perfect fit is a delusion made to enforce us to conform more.

Yet we all yearn to find company and acceptance with a partner, compared to the rest of the world who would rather steal you bus pass than offer you a seat.
I believe, that ultimately a relationship is a compromise, because a different person is always a different entity. You are destined to fight with a partner, and find them a little psycho time to time; but their nuiances pass and diminish as you bear with each other. I believe that the increasing failures of modern day couplings is because everyone is expecting more and offering less tolerance.

Just remember, for every girl, there's another guy out there that's sick and tired of her shit; but it might be someone you are willing to take a chance and go the distance with.

I hope when I'm old and wrinkly, and others may admire an apparent idealistic union that has lasted throughout the years, they will realise, its less about finding faults but more in finding compromise and forgiveness.

[/soap box]

Yes girls are psycho - I've never met one that isn't. But we love them all !

[RedMaN]

My first serious g/f was a real piece of work.... she used to blame all of her problems on her parents braking up when she was young. But what made me get the fuck out of there was when we broke up, she used to stand out the front of my work and wait for me to finish or try and come and talk to me whilst I was working (I was a fruit & veg manager for Coles). One time I tried to leave with a friend and she wouldn't let me close the car door, she put her leg in the door so I couldn't shut it! I remember yelling at her and saying 'what part of fuck off don't you understand?' It got to the point where I had to get out of the car and run across the carpark to get away from her. She started running after me... first time I have ever been scared of a girl so I jumped a paling fence to get away from her :eek: I came back to my car later on and there were two big bunches of flowers on my car.... the next day was Mother's Day so I ended up giving them to Mum instead :p

And that's only half of it :grr:

[BlueBoy]

Wow.
You guys beat my psychos.

[BtrFly]

what about psycho boyfriends? i had one who blamed his failings on being adopted... and that his parents split because of this... consequently i was VERY smothered...

thats just my 11cents worth ;)

[Lioness]

boyfreinds...smothering...ugh....i have been through that...my first was a guy who hardly ever let me out of his sight...he was constantly around always trying to cop a feel or more...one night i woke up and he was standing over my bed staring at me....funny...coz he wasnt sposed to even be in my house...my next was a jelouse angry man....who lived a few towns away....jelousy doenst work well with distance....

but i am happy to say that my current is a peachy guy....oh sure...we have our share of fights...but all in all im happy to be with him :D

[dozer]

you crack me up landmachine

[excalibur]

I had one try to pull the pregnant thing on me once. The thing that really confused the shit out of me was I never even slept with her. Crazy Bitch.....

[SOC]

Maybe she secretly stole your sperm during the night while you slept?

[dozer]

so how many teeth did you knock out of the psycho?

[Evil Dan]

none. one time that stands out in my mind, she was threatening to start smashing my stuff (she was holding up a framed photo i have of my now sadly deceased family pet). i stormed over to her, grabbed her by the throat, forced her quite roughly to the ground, held up a fist to knock her fucking head off, and the fear in her eyes was enough. i let her go, told her to "get out", and she left.

the photo survived completely intact, thankfully.

was this going too far? i don't think so. i suppose others would disagree though.

I'm slowly backing out of the room trying to look very non-threatening......

Pacifism is one of my many failings

[Benwah]

none. one time that stands out in my mind, she was threatening to start smashing my stuff (she was holding up a framed photo i have of my now sadly deceased family pet). i stormed over to her, grabbed her by the throat, forced her quite roughly to the ground, held up a fist to knock her fucking head off, and the fear in her eyes was enough. i let her go, told her to "get out", and she left..... so was this going too far? i don't think so. i suppose others would disagree though.

Hey, you did what you had to do, clearly when a photo is in danger it's time to take the matter into your own hands, and grabing her by the throat, forced her quite roughly to the ground, and holding up a fist to knock her fucking head off sounds like the best course of action in this instance. I commend you on your initative and I'm sure that if someone was giving out awards for man of the year, you'd be first in line. Very well done landmachine I am in awe of you and your ability in this case to defend what was obviously a poor defenceless little photo, if only more people took the time to be more like you I'm certain that the world would be a much better place.

I like VERY much what your saying and would like to subscribe to your newsletter/editorial, please keep me informed with any further developments.

edit: Included full text of Landmachines post which, has since been deleted.

[dozer]

man thats not a beating, and i thought you were a tuff guy, so what happened for her to get the beating? she took a shit on a photo of your mother?

[landmachine]

Hey, you did what you had to do, clearly when a photo is in danger it's time to take the matter into your own hands, and grabing her by the throat, forced her quite roughly to the ground, and holding up a fist to knock her fucking head off sounds like the best course of action in this instance. I commend you on your initative and I'm sure that if someone was giving out awards for man of the year, you'd be first in line. Very well done landmachine I am in awe of you and your ability in this case to defend what was obviously a poor defenceless little photo, if only more people took the time to be more like you I'm certain that the world would be a much better place.

I like VERY much what your saying and would like to subscribe to your newsletter/editorial, please keep me informed with any further developments.

clearly it wasn't as over-simplified as that, but i appreciate your efforts to villify me. honestly, you came across as really intelligent. i bet there's girls at your doorstep as we speak.

[Benwah]

clearly it wasn't as over-simplified as that, but i appreciate your efforts to villify me. honestly, you came across as really intelligent. i bet there's girls at your doorstep as we speak.

Hey, no problem guy, anytime! please, feel free to add as much complication to your original post as you see fit, I'm certain that with enough time and effort your sure to come up with a statement to rationalise your actions.

Unlike some I don't post on here to fain intelligence, I'm a simple man, with an equally simple mind, heck I know my limitations! and I certainly don't need you to gauge my intellect, kind of you to offer your views on the subject anyhow.

Girls at my doorsteps, pffft, I'm not sure my partner would be happy about that, besides, aren't they all busy chasing after you pal?

[Glompbot]

This should go in the relationships thread. :D

Anyway... psycho ex's...
I dated a guy who slept with other people (he decided it was an open relationship), when I got upset he said I had no right to my emotions (short version...) and accused me of emotional blackmail whenever I became upset over his actions... It got to the point where I hid it, he would ask me what was wrong... if i told him, i got accused of emotional blackmail, if i didn't i was being difficult and everything was my fault, etc.

I also became quite the psycho ex after that relationship... I had a punch up with the other female the night I broke up with him (yes, it was me who finally ended it) for 2 months after I called him, accused him, screamed at him... cried, took a fuckload of drugs, drank... had one night stands with people I'd picked up at clubs (which resulted in my hallucinating during the middle of sex)... all through all this I was angry and bitched about him, ranted about him... got very very angry at him.

On christmas eve I found out they were dating... (hurt much? gee, so I was just something in his way)... thats when I stopped speaking to him... later on i heard they were engaged... AFAIK they still are.

In my defence however, i wasn't the only 'psycho ex'... every time we happened to run into each other in social settings there was always some online backlash from him... ie... i was accused of damaging his car... I was accused of flicking cigarette butts at his new girlfriend (I don't even smoke FFS), we even had a small spack of sorts on zgeek.

I was certainly a piece of work... I became a fairly fucked up little creature. Took me a long time to bring myself back to some sembalance of normal... *waves* hi.

As far as I know (someone decided to tell me about this at a recent birthday party) he had some issues which he worked through after we broke up... so he's probably become a better person too.

I hold almost no anger towards him... being that it was probably 'the' big hurty relationship... i'm broken, but i'm determined not to become that psycho ex again.

[Benwah]

I hold almost no anger towards him...

Really, that's a shame anger is about the only thing I have left from my ex-gf's, I like it, being really Angry all the time is excellent! no really it's great!

[King_Crud]

I had an ex who killed herself a couple of weeks after we broke up. Gassed herself in her VW Beetle. She wasn't really a psycho while we went out, just a bit possesive but nothing major

[Glompbot]

Well... I'm angry about the situation... but I can't continue through the rest of my life being angry at him... if it wasn't him I'm sure it would have been another situation with someone else...

[tikdoph]

I had an ex who killed herself a couple of weeks after we broke up.
Maybe you shouldn't have suggested getting back together with her.

[Lioness]

Maybe you shouldn't have suggested getting back together with her.

thats low man...:(

[tikdoph]

seriously, if they're being that crazy, don't hesitate. that sort of psychosis is a primordal thing, and only similarly primordal responses shall acheive the neccessary result.
That would be funny if it wasn't so tragic. For someone who claims to be so intelligent, you seem pretty inept at handling women with even basic empathy and understanding.

[Sir_Palatine]

Maybe you shouldn't have suggested getting back together with her.

Wrong buddy... very

[Sir_Palatine]

none. one time that stands out in my mind, she was threatening to start smashing my stuff (she was holding up a framed photo i have of my now sadly deceased family pet). i stormed over to her, grabbed her by the throat, forced her quite roughly to the ground, held up a fist to knock her fucking head off, and the fear in her eyes was enough. i let her go, told her to "get out", and she left.

the photo survived completely intact, thankfully.

was this going too far? i don't think so. i suppose others would disagree though.


Where do I sign up for your self-defence classes?.. coz I tell ya, I think that the checkout chick at my supermarket is thinking of short-changing me!.. Time to Pre-empt!

[kleph]

obfusicate as you will, landminemachine, but there is a very specific term for what you are advocating - domestic violence. there is also a very specific term for anyone that advocates it - scum. even if your post is in jest or to troll, suggesting this behavior is acceptable is subhuman.

it is estimated one in three women in the united states is a victim of domestic violence. many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims and, often, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive.

the most common misconception about domestic violence is that it must consist of physical violence. but this does not include the serious issues of psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.

domestic violence is almost always incremental - beginning relatively small but becoming more serious, and deadly, over time as well as being cyclical - once you have created this pattern of behavior it is difficult to break it without help.

and there is one very important point you argument overlooks, dickhead, it is against the law. period.

[Something Fast]

If trees had cunts you would burn women
Uh, I'm staying well away from this one...
*sidesteps out the door*

[Lioness]

and there is one very important point you argument overlooks, dickhead, it is against the law. period.


*stands up and cheers*

[landmachine]

obfusicate as you will, landminemachine, but there is a very specific term for what you are advocating - domestic violence. there is also a very specific term for anyone that advocates it - scum. even if your post is in jest or to troll, suggesting this behavior is acceptable is subhuman.

it is estimated one in three women in the united states is a victim of domestic violence. many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims and, often, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive.

the most common misconception about domestic violence is that it must consist of physical violence. but this does not include the serious issues of psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.

domestic violence is almost always incremental - beginning relatively small but becoming more serious, and deadly, over time as well as being cyclical - once you have created this pattern of behavior it is difficult to break it without help.

and there is one very important point you argument overlooks, dickhead, it is against the law. period.

did you even listen to what i said? branding something with the socially unacceptable term "domestic violence" is a fucking copout, and a cheap attempt at trolling away the emotions of human beings.

people get angry. sometimes people SHOULD get angry. is this wrong? who the fuck are you to judge the actions of other human beings? nothing is as simple as you would make it out, although it'd make it easier for you to believe so - it's a nice, clean reason to distinguish yourself from all those "asshole" men who keep on getting all the girls.

don't worry cupcake, i'm sure you'll meet someone someday.

there is nothing magical and sacred about females, and your apparent feelings in that direction marks you squarely as a loser who's experience with the opposite sex is drastically limited. it's like you're saying "hah! that landmachine, he is an asshole! i would never lay a hand on a woman! now, ladies, i dare you to keep ignoring me now!"

there is nothing sacred about any form of life that puts it above your own existance. remember that.

[Lioness]

there is nothing sacred about any form of life that puts it above your own existance. remember that.

Your a knob mate...

[SOC]

there is nothing sacred about any form of life that puts it above your own existance. remember that.
So your saying you'd save your own skin before saving one of your own children?

[tikdoph]

I've finally figured out why landmachine's parents never said a cross word to each other in 27 years of marriage. His dad got rid of all of his frustration and aggression by beating up the kids. Why else would landy have such a propensity for violence?

[kleph]

did you even listen to what i said? branding something with the socially unacceptable term "domestic violence" is a fucking copout, and a cheap attempt at trolling away the emotions of human beings.

people get angry. sometimes people SHOULD get angry. is this wrong? who the fuck are you to judge the actions of other human beings? nothing is as simple as you would make it out, although it'd make it easier for you to believe so - it's a nice, clean reason to distinguish yourself from all those "asshole" men who keep on getting all the girls.

don't worry cupcake, i'm sure you'll meet someone someday.

there is nothing magical and sacred about females, and your apparent feelings in that direction marks you squarely as a loser who's experience with the opposite sex is drastically limited. it's like you're saying "hah! that landmachine, he is an asshole! i would never lay a hand on a woman! now, ladies, i dare you to keep ignoring me now!"

there is nothing sacred about any form of life that puts it above your own existance. remember that.

call it whatever name you want, it is wrong.

you are a complete scumbag and not worthy of the air you breath. i dont say this because i am angry, i say it because your statements that you approve of domestic violence establish your moral and ethical insensitivity. what i feel for you is pity and revulsion.

i never said anything about males or females, you did. domestic violence works both ways and is just as malicious.

i think a more viable hypothesis to your relationship situation is that you are a manipulative abuser and what you deem "psychotic" by your significant other is, in fact, a reaction to your abuse. that you admit, even boast, at taking this to the level of physical violence indicates that you have moved past simple disfunction into an actual danger to those around you. furthermore, that you continue to be oblivious of all of this this is less astounding than a measure of the severity of your problem.

so, what are you going to do now? hit me?

[Sir_Palatine]

did you even listen to what i said? branding something with the socially unacceptable term "domestic violence" is a fucking copout, and a cheap attempt at trolling away the emotions of human beings.

there is nothing magical and sacred about females, ....

there is nothing sacred about any form of life that puts it above your own existance. remember that.

Man.. you ARE screwed up. I would have agreed with you over the defence of a very sentimental momento of a cherished one.. perhaps up to the point of physically getting the photo from her hands.. and if you hurt her in the process with maybe due force to save the one thing you have to remember someone or something from.. and felt BAD about it later.. MAYBE fair enough.. depends... but your opinion it is okay so threaten people into submission to make you feel like a big man.. that is crap. And that Pre-emptive bullshit.. crap. And accusing other users of their sexuality and ability to score partners just shows your own insecurities. How tough do you have to feel to threaten a girl with physical violence to make them cower to you?... THAT my pal, is domestic violence, physical harassment.. etc, etc.

It is just sad that you think that threats are they way to handle women. You obviously have NO social skills with girls or know how to understand them. Especially by your condescending reference to women not being magical or sacred creatures. Oh GOD I hope either you pull your head out of your ass and wake up, or that NO girl EVER has the misfortune of becoming your partner. Heaven knows what happens if you think the steps out of line. You are a danger to women and possibly ANYONE with your violent outlook on life.

You have NOT proven anything by your statements except your disregard to the rights of everyone and their safety both physically and mentally. Your answer to ANY obstacle seems to be physical confrontation.

And you know.. it DOES appear that YOU are the psycho with a bad track history. Did your mother beat you?.. is that it?.. did you beat her back?

Ohhhh I could go on.. but you are just tooooo easy a target. And everyone knows 'leprecauns' are the magical creatures you fool.

Ps. We are still going to the ballet on Monday evening right?

[Sir_Palatine]

Oh by the way 'Landmachine'.. even your Avatar has a violent gay mouth rape look about it...

[fastfood]

Landmachine if your beaten girlfriend ever wants to sue you, the evidence is all here.
I hope she takes everything you've got or will ever have. And salt the earth of your grave.

[kleph]

while i am sure heaping abuse on our resident troll may be theraputic in the short run, i must point out that it was not my primary intent in responding to this drivel.

given his acerbic commentary elsewhere on the site and desire for negative rep, he clearly has some sort of fetish for abuse. typically, i try and avoid assisting folks like this with their intent because 1) it only encourages them further and 2) it doesn't make them any less stupid.

what is important here, is that if his comments are true, he clearly has abused people he has had relationships with in the past. it is a virtual certainty he will continue to do so in the future and, in all likelyhood, increase the level of violence over time. it is a sad hope that he comes to his senses before he really hurts someone beyond the obvious mental and emotional abuse he is inflicting. the odds are not good.

but, irregardless of whether his comments are true, by letting them stand without rebuttal gives the mistaken impression that such behavior is condoned or acceptable.

it, most emphatically, is not.

there are more than 6,500 members on this site, and there have been almost 700 views to this thread. and it is a certainty that a frighteningly large percentage of that are people in abusive relationships.

given the typical cycle of control in such relationships, the victim will have a hard enough time with their self image to begin with. seeing such behavior condoned in a conversation such as this only perpetrates their suffering.

domestic violence, be it physical, emotional, pschological or sexual, is flat out wrong. there is no place for it in any society and there is no reason anyone who is in such a relationship should have to continue to suffer. there are lots of avenues for help, starting with counseling and advice all the way up to criminal prosecution.

and there are lots of people here on zgeek that would be ready to lend an ear for anyone that might need assistance. all you need to do is send a pm and ask.

[Zan]

Very well put, kleph.

I must confess that I don't understand how anyone could be driven to be physically abusive towards another person, let alone someone they 'love'.

Is it just a power thing? Do these people feel that if they can't assert themselves emotionally/intellectually they have to do it physically? It's just sick.

[Benwah]

people get angry. sometimes people SHOULD get angry. is this wrong?

Nope, nothing wrong with getting angry. It's how you act on this anger and what you do with it that is a measure of a Man.

[Benwah]

Kleph, well said, thanks for taking the time to write out what, I'm sure the vast population of thinking individuals on this site were thinking.

[Bifrost]

I have never been in a relationship with a "psycho" person.

I have never been in an abusive relationship. Sure, when we get drunk, my beautiful gf and myself have arguments, but it's always over stupid shit that neither of us care about when we're sober, so it's just water under the bridge...

In my opinion, kleph is a champion. He has laid out, in very clear and sensible text exactly what needed to be said - at least twice - in this thread. If I could give you 1000 ninja point, dude, I would.

I am personally glad landmachine's original post has been removed by whomever removed it. Reading the text in a quote was pretty disturbing. While I can understand the anger that overcomes each and every one of use from time to time, I cannot accept that physical violence is the way anyone should deal with a volatile situation. I pity anyone who was abused as a child, because that sort of upbringing makes it extremely difficult for a person to relate to others without the need for similar types of abuse.

I consider myself the third generation of an abuse sufferer of a sort. To explain, my father was not abusive. He was a man who did smack his children from time to time, but I consider this was the norm at the time and more than this, I believe it was an exceptional effort on his part because he was the son of a very serious wife and child beater. His father was an arsehole of a sort I cannot begin to describe and I consider the fact that my siblings and myself grew up with no feeling of fear of my father and no serious manners of abuse (even emotional) to be a testament to how strong my father is and how well he managed to come out of his terrible paternal environment. Though I know next to nothing of my great-grandparents on my father's side, I expect that my grandfather was very seriously abused.

I live in hope that as generations pass, abuse reduces and people grow to better manage their reactions to emotion...

Anyway...I'll just spew forth stuff, shall I...Never mind me...

[wolfpac181]

Ain't nutting wrong with what ya have to do.... Take it from Wayne Brady.

[landmachine]

while i am sure heaping abuse on our resident troll may be theraputic in the short run, i must point out that it was not my primary intent in responding to this drivel.

given his acerbic commentary elsewhere on the site and desire for negative rep, he clearly has some sort of fetish for abuse. typically, i try and avoid assisting folks like this with their intent because 1) it only encourages them further and 2) it doesn't make them any less stupid.

what is important here, is that if his comments are true, he clearly has abused people he has had relationships with in the past. it is a virtual certainty he will continue to do so in the future and, in all likelyhood, increase the level of violence over time. it is a sad hope that he comes to his senses before he really hurts someone beyond the obvious mental and emotional abuse he is inflicting. the odds are not good.

but, irregardless of whether his comments are true, by letting them stand without rebuttal gives the mistaken impression that such behavior is condoned or acceptable.

it, most emphatically, is not.

there are more than 6,500 members on this site, and there have been almost 700 views to this thread. and it is a certainty that a frighteningly large percentage of that are people in abusive relationships.

given the typical cycle of control in such relationships, the victim will have a hard enough time with their self image to begin with. seeing such behavior condoned in a conversation such as this only perpetrates their suffering.

domestic violence, be it physical, emotional, pschological or sexual, is flat out wrong. there is no place for it in any society and there is no reason anyone who is in such a relationship should have to continue to suffer. there are lots of avenues for help, starting with counseling and advice all the way up to criminal prosecution.

and there are lots of people here on zgeek that would be ready to lend an ear for anyone that might need assistance. all you need to do is send a pm and ask.

before we start, this probably won't be as reasonably well written as normal, i'm really seriously hungover.

ok. let's begin. what's funny is that you accuse me of being a troll while you are displaying the defining characteristics of one. you're taking a stance that is far more dictatorial and trollish than i am by suggesting your beliefs are unalterably and conclusively correct. it's a wonder that you're not being called on it by others.

i'm actually offended by what's going on here. that you would consider me some sort of "abusive spouse" material is offensive! anyone who knows me (people on this site who know me? zero) would realise how goddamn silly that is, but because of the zealous words of a troll, i'm now sitting here with this disgusting stigma attached to me. i'd like to clear my name, if that's ok? i'll tell you the whole story, and you can judge for yourself.

I have used violence against women exactly three times in my life. Once, i was about 7 years old, an older girl kicked my bike (i don't recall why), i punched her, and she ran off. all my friends were aghast, "you can't punch girls!", and it dawned on me that i had done wrong. honestly, i was so young that i didn't even know what i'd done was wrong until it was explained to me afterwards, at which point i felt terrible. i ended up finding out who she was (i had no idea), going around to her house, and apologising to her. i did all this when i was just seven years old. this is what i like to think of as my firey baptismal passage in to learning the concept "men don't hit women".

the second time i used violence was with a girl who was a girlfriend at the time. it was at her house, she was making me dinner. she was in the kitchen cutting up vegetables to put in a stir fry. i was in the attached living room, watching tv, and i turned around and noticed she was crying as she was cutting the vegetables. i asked her what was wrong, she didn't answer, i got up, moved in to the kitchen and pressed my concerns further.

"baby, why are you crying? what's wrong?"
"you fucking know what's wrong (landmachine), you know exactly what you did"

i was shocked. you know those times when you're about to get in to trouble, REALLY bad trouble, and your mind starts racing, trying desperately to think of what you could possibly have done to deserve it? it was insane. i honestly hadn't done anything.

"i know you fucked (the name of girl we both knew)".

i hadn't, i swear to you all, upon all things holy, hadn't. i've clearly done my share of fucking around the place, but this wasn't true. i never touched this girl, nor any other girl, while i was with this one.

the next part is pretty surreal. she was still holding the knife in her hand, and she swung at me with it, letting out a gutteral roar at the same time. it missed me by quite a margin (i guess it's debatable whether she actually wanted to cut me, who knows?) and i knew right there that i had to do something. her swing had thrown her right off balance, it was pretty raw and driven by emotion, not any real ability to try and kill me, so i grabbed the arm that was holding the knife, and sorta held her from behind all at the same time. she started going insane, screeching incoherently. she dropped the knife of her own accord, and was bucking and thrashing about, trying to get to me, trying to hurt me. what the hell was i supposed to do? put yourself in this situation, what the hell do you do? i was AFRAID. this bitch had just tried to cut me! i dragged her out in to the living room, threw her down on to the couch. she was up and attacking me again in an instant, and i punched her square in the head, with the heel of my palm. it must have dazed her, because she fell down (she was still conscious though), and i took the opportunity to get the fuck out of there. i left, straight away, and never looked back.

you want to know something? i found out later on that she was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. in her, smoking weed triggers it, and she had done a lot of weed smoking. she was aware of her condition, knew that smoking weed would make it worse, but she apparently didn't care. before all this, i honestly didn't know. she was always quite a weird girl, but i almost inevitably end up with weird ones, I guess because Jesus hates me.

so was i right to do what i did? i think so. no doubt kleph is going to suggest that i should have let her cut my face off with all the passivity of a Ghandi-esque protest sit-in. look, this post has gone on long enough now. the other story (the one with the photo) isn't as black and white as kleph would troll us to believe either - although i admit that i wasn't physically threatened there. i'll post the full story if anyone really wants to hear it, but for now, can we please just take my word that i'm not this animal that kleph has made me out to be?

there's a term for what's gone on here, and it's "violence". by labelling it "domestic violence", you are attaching a stigma to me that is wholly unwarranted. no moral determination can be as simple as "right" or "wrong", and even if it were possible, i don't believe any of us has the right to make that judgement. i don't "abuse" people, and more importantly, not all violence is abuse. i've never denied that domestic violence is a very real and very serious issue, but to paint me with that brush upsets me. i'm really not like that.

[Benwah]

i'll tell you the whole story, and you can judge for yourself.

Consider yourself judged mate.

I find the defendant, guilty of being a cocksmoker! *j/king*

Since when do YOU care what the hell we think anyway landmachine? I mean what do you want us to say? it's not specifically the circumstances you have described that label you a violent egotist it's comments like

"if they're being that crazy, don't hesitate. that sort of psychosis is a primordal thing, and only similarly primordal responses shall acheive the neccessary result.".

That have lead to you being classed as someone who has a self control issues, not to mention your continual barrage of insults and put downs directed to anyone who you feel might warrent a bit of friendly abuse

you'll find someone buttercup.

I bet the girls are all queing at your front door

It's all indicative of someone with deep seeded issues and a tendance towards being abusive, I've got sympathy for you in the instance of the 'knife' story and to be honest can't really make a judgement call because I wasn't there, but it's not JUST these events that have lead to you being labled an abuser, it's your total attitude towards everyone, but ESPECIALLY Women that has put you in this 'box' what else do you think we would conclude from your posts? what, that your someone well balanced? that your a 'nice guy'?

edit: that you would consider me some sort of "abusive spouse" material is offensive!

I thought you were too busy 'deafening' 'martins' that are/are going to be concert pianists to be spouse material to be honest with you.

*next defendant please approach the bench*

[polite]

*next defendant please approach the bench*
Ok, I'll give it a try. :)
Men are men and sometimes they lash out. Women are women and sometimes they conceal.So it's an open and shut case. :cool:




think about it.

[tikdoph]

i was AFRAID. this bitch had just tried to cut me!
All that treating women like pieces of meat finally catch up to you, huh? My heart bleeds. :rolleyes:

[polite]

All that treating women like pieces of meat finally catch up to you, huh? My heart bleeds. :rolleyes:And your girlfriends name is? Be still my beating heart.

[wolfpac181]

Man. I kinda am going with landmachine on this...He did show that he would not be walked on like most other guys would do. Pussed out guys that would sit back and let a psycho ex ruin their life just cause they didn't stick up for them selves. Why? cause they were up against a woman, and we all know guys denounced as "wife-beating cowards" or "less of a man" for it.......

I say fuck that.... look at some of the most populus countries that are Muslim, and see what happens when a woman goes out of bounds there...

Isn't this supposed to be an age where men and women are considered equal?
If so.... than it's a "treat how you are being treated" act.
Any other GUY who flipped out and fucked with me the wrong way would totally get a smackdown.
Or is this a double standard situation?
What would you do if a MAN was doing this to you?

A significant other starts to become violent or whathave you, then where DOES forceful defense become a resort?

I'm not saying to guys "go home and punch your woman in the mouth" if you get in an argument or fight. But if they want to start being violent to you and think they can get away with that because of gender...

[t101]

Being slashed at with a knife and then protecting yourself from further possible harm => self defence.

Holding someone down by the throat because they are threatening an inanimate object => assault.

Note the lack of gender specifics in both of those comments....

[tikdoph]

And your girlfriends name is? Be still my beating heart.
Kristina.

And I agree. The sooner your heart stops beating, the better.

[Sir_Palatine]

Ok, I'll give it a try. :)
Men are men and sometimes they lash out. Women are women and sometimes they conceal.So it's an open and shut case. :cool:




think about it.


So it's okay for a Man to lash out and thump a girl for her concealing emotions?... seeing as men lash out and women conceal.. must be okay then.

[Sir_Palatine]

Man. I kinda am going with landmachine on this...He did show that he would not be walked on like most other guys would do. Pussed out guys that would sit back and let a psycho ex ruin their life just cause they didn't stick up for them selves.

I don't think her grabbing his photo was exactly 'walking all over him'.. but I can see where 'your' views are heading....

I say fuck that.... look at some of the most populus countries that are Muslim, and see what happens when a woman goes out of bounds there...
I wouldn't think a lot of those countries are exactly 'fair' in their 'human rights' records... so good on you for using countries that treat women as second class citizens or even less as a yard stick.

Isn't this supposed to be an age where men and women are considered equal?
If so.... than it's a "treat how you are being treated" act.
Any other GUY who flipped out and fucked with me the wrong way would totally get a smackdown.
Ahhhhhh yes.. of course.. silly of me... a 45kg girl slaps a 80kg guy and he turns around and thumps her through a wall.. how dare she land a hand on him.. she got what she deserved.. yeah... I can see your fairness kicking in here. Kudos again to you buddy.. kudos. Violence IS the answer. I mean.. any girl that slaps me deserves a belting for it! Because that is what being a man is all about! [Much sarcasm intended in this paragraph]

Look.. if a MAN takes a shot at you.. fair enough.. smackdown... but you DON"T smackdown women dude.. it's just not cool.. or the right thing. If a girl you are with attacks you.. answer with due force ONLY if you have no option.. and there IS a difference between 'due force' and 'excessive force'.

A significant other starts to become violent or whathave you, then where DOES forceful defense become a resort?
Only when you ARE in potential serious harm, and you only respond in kind to restrain or give you a chance to leave or to calm her down. Not 'smack the bitch up sideways' just coz she is going to break something of yours or slaps you one.

I'm not saying to guys "go home and punch your woman in the mouth" if you get in an argument or fight. But if they want to start being violent to you and think they can get away with that because of gender...
No.. they 'don't get away with it' , but neither do you 'teach them a lesson'

[fastfood]

Wolfie...

There are no excuses, no two ways about it. No excuses, no special situations. If you are a bloke, you DO NOT hit women. Simple.

Men have been wailing on women for thousands of fucking years, we deserve a lot of payback. Didn't your Dad ever teach you anything? Or was it you Mum who got all the lessons instead?

It doesn't matter if she is a 400lb Sumo Wrestler and you are a 80lb Nintendo Fanboy, take the beating, if you survive you might learn to run faster.

[locust]

How about if you are a person, you DO NOT hit other people?

You weren't alive a thousand years ago, nor was anyone else alive today. Nobody deserves payback for events that occurred that long ago.

[kleph]

Man. I kinda am going with landmachine on this...He did show that he would not be walked on like most other guys would do. Pussed out guys that would sit back and let a psycho ex ruin their life just cause they didn't stick up for them selves. Why? cause they were up against a woman, and we all know guys denounced as "wife-beating cowards" or "less of a man" for it...

you are refering to his desperate attempt to backtrack. his original post was clearly a callous call for physical violence as a means to resolve relationship problems. this is domestic violence. it is pretty easy to define it. just go here (http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/waisgate?WAISdocID=30874910513+15+0+0&WAISaction=retrieve).

I say fuck that.... look at some of the most populus countries that are Muslim, and see what happens when a woman goes out of bounds there......

and i think we all agree that this is wrong.

Isn't this supposed to be an age where men and women are considered equal? If so.... than it's a "treat how you are being treated" act.
Any other GUY who flipped out and fucked with me the wrong way would totally get a smackdown. Or is this a double standard situation?
What would you do if a MAN was doing this to you?...

female to male domesic abuse is very real and very much a problem. frighteningly studies show this trend is particularly strong the younger the couples are. it creates a pattern of behavior that is continued indefinitely.

and, giving a gander at the war thread, i think it is the general consensus on this site that violence is not a sutable answer to acts of violence. it only continues to perpetrate the problem.

A significant other starts to become violent or whathave you, then where DOES forceful defense become a resort?...

the point is that if things come to this, there is already a serious problem. physical violence is only one of the later stages of the cycle of domestic abuse. it is always preceeded by other problems such as emotional and psychological abuse and is typically acerbated by drug and alcohol abuse.

I'm not saying to guys "go home and punch your woman in the mouth" if you get in an argument or fight. But if they want to start being violent to you and think they can get away with that because of gender...

disagreements, arguments and fights are part of relationships. nobody here disagrees with that. but what i am saying is if you get into an argument and a fight and feel the need to resort to violence as the resolution - you have a much bigger problem than whatever your are fighting about.

[fastfood]

How about if you are a person, you DO NOT hit other people?

You weren't alive a thousand years ago, nor was anyone else alive today. Nobody deserves payback for events that occurred that long ago.

Hey I agree (except for the part about not being alive a thousand years ago). The payback part was a joke, women don't think the same way men do. Most of them don't have this talent for violence that we have. But the male violence against women is very real, as illustrated in this thread.

Still, take it literally if you want, especially the bit about the sumo vs the fanboy, which was clearly drawn from real life.

[tikdoph]

Man. I kinda am going with landmachine on this...He did show that he would not be walked on like most other guys would do. Pussed out guys that would sit back and let a psycho ex ruin their life just cause they didn't stick up for them selves. Why? cause they were up against a woman, and we all know guys denounced as "wife-beating cowards" or "less of a man" for it.......

I say fuck that.... look at some of the most populus countries that are Muslim, and see what happens when a woman goes out of bounds there...

Isn't this supposed to be an age where men and women are considered equal?
If so.... than it's a "treat how you are being treated" act.
Any other GUY who flipped out and fucked with me the wrong way would totally get a smackdown.
Or is this a double standard situation?
What would you do if a MAN was doing this to you?

A significant other starts to become violent or whathave you, then where DOES forceful defense become a resort?

I'm not saying to guys "go home and punch your woman in the mouth" if you get in an argument or fight. But if they want to start being violent to you and think they can get away with that because of gender...
Would you grab SSW by the throat and pin her down if she threatened to break a picture of your family pet?

[Jen]

irregardless

Ah, one of the choice non-existant words of true southerners ;)
</ot>

I think Wolfpac didnt word his post the way he wanted it to come out.


As far as psycho ex's go...

I was married to a closet crossdresser whose hobbies included playing everquest, jerking off to shemale pr0n, and beating women.

[kré]

if someone hits me, they're gonna get smacked the fuck up. he, she, it, whatever. believe that shit. i don't care what pussy ass responses i get from any of you.

in regards to psycho exes, i've only really ever had two exes. one broke up with me and i never heard from her again, and the other one, i told her it was over on the way to dropping her off at the train station (we had only been together for like 3 weeks) and she was threatening to jump in front of a train and /herself. that's about as crazy as i've ever seen.

[wolfpac181]

Yeah.. I am going to say sorry on it all. SSW and I talked quite a bit about it last night BEFORE I wrote that post, and it was just a bunch of conglomerated incoherant thoughts I tried to put down without giving much more indepthness....was wanting to be more thought provoking than anything. so yeah sorry if it came out wrong.

Man. I kinda am going with landmachine on this...He did show that he would not be walked on like most other guys would do. Pussed out guys that would sit back and let a psycho ex ruin their life just cause they didn't stick up for them selves.

I've seen some guys really get trampled by real "Fatal Attraction" style Psychos. For example, My brother's ex would punch herself in the face, beat him silly, and call the police on him for assult. He never hit her and tried very non-voilently to get away. But just wouldn't work right, untill a restraining order was placed.
And I kinda overjustified some things to fit a bill on the landmachine subject, bad how minds work. But I still do say stand firm when being picked on. just not over the edge.

I say fuck that.... look at some of the most populus countries that are Muslim, and see what happens when a woman goes out of bounds there...

I do though think that equality in free world is majorly taken for granted in some areas, both ways mind ya. Was just trying to give a little bit on "geez, look at how much worse we could all be, be glad you live where you can act out without being pubically executed... just don't abuse it" We're better than a third world, so act like it right?


I guess what the real thing was I was trying to ask was the "where do you put a foot down and have to use force?" It's not for the small lame arguments... but has to be serious right?
when they're assulting you? stalking you? boiling your pet bunny? smashing up your house? Doing items that could be threatening? Kidnapping?

there's all these limits, boundries, dichotomies.... I would physcially restrain, or fend off, a woman who is threating me or family with harm. But would never Hurt them with intended malice.

So yeah..... sorry all for being a dork on it all:)

[stevecai]

I'd disagree with you. Muslim women have it better than western women because they have rights enshrined within their religion (Christian's don't).

For instance:

1. On marriage the man must pay a dowry of between a full year and half a year's pay to the woman and cannot touch it thereafter. Thus ensuring she has something to go by if he does anything.

2. Any money the woman earns is hers, and any money the man earn belongs to them both.

3. In inheritance, it is split on a ratio of 2:1 for siblings. So if you are a girl and you have a brother, you get 1/3 of the property. The catch is - the brother has to share it with his entire family and the girl can keep it for herself (hence the distinction. If you divided that 2/3 between a wife and kids thats less than the 1/3 the girl gets).

4. Muslim women have to be educated the same way as boys are. You can't preference either of them.

5. Muslim men have a stricter code on them than women do (believe it or not). You might think that a woman wearing modest clothes (some people do take that to the extreme) is crazy, but men are forbidden from even looking/perving at women. As a guy you have to 'cast your eyes down'.

----

This is just a sample. A lot of these you might think are currently existant in western traditions, but understand that these are rules enshrined in a religion 1300 years ago. Western media won't cover this stuff because it just ain't an interesting news story.

[fastfood]

I'd disagree with you. Muslim women have it better than western women because they have rights enshrined within their religion (Christian's don't). ...

Sounds like a good ideal.. Why then doesn't it pan out that way in the real world?

Muslim Womens Legue:
http://www.mwlusa.org/publications/positionpapers/issues.html

[davery]

4. Muslim women have to be educated the same way as boys are. You can't preference either of them.
Hmmm - tell that to the Taliban (and other extremists) that ban women from any education... Must be open to interpretation ?

5. Muslim men have a stricter code on them than women do (believe it or not). You might think that a woman wearing modest clothes (some people do take that to the extreme) is crazy, but men are forbidden from even looking/perving at women. As a guy you have to 'cast your eyes down'.
And the way they get around that is by making the women all wear sack-like clothing that covers every inch of their bodies, bar the eyes. I've seen arranged brides put in boxes so the husband cannot see them until they have been married (amongst the Berber tribes in the Sahara)...

Like every other religion, the "rules" can be read however people want to read them; and the usual complete fuckwits twist it to their advantage.

For example, some subscribers to this religion see it as fair that a woman that has been raped should be put to death for dishonouring her family - while the perpetrators get off scot-free.

Please note, I have nothing against the Islamic religion - it's just as respectable as Christianity (for whatever that statement is worth) but, as always, organised religion is controlled by asshats and fucktards. People suck. :swear:

Sorry for the off-topic.

[fastfood]

....but, as always, organised religion is controlled by asshats and fucktards. People suck. :swear:


Thats it, you hit the nail on the head.

[Psycho Jon]

but, as always, organised religion is controlled by asshats and fucktards. People suck.

Western organised religion sucks... Mostly because of the "my dick is bigger than yours" mentality. Some religions don't have that mentality, and hence not that problem.

But: People do suck. Most of them. The one's with small dicks who use religion to be giant knobs.

[SamBo]

Lets not turn this into a religous debate... it's NOT the thread for it.

[Cassa]

Don't make me lay the mod smackdown! This is a thread about the foibles of loved ones, not the intrinsic worth of someone based on their gender or religion.

[Psycho Jon]

This is a thread about the foibles of loved ones

Ah yes, the foibles. Let's not forget the foibles. <G>

My last ex... I wanted out, but didn't want to dump her... So I made her feel it best to dump me... The funny part, she still wants me back. She only wants to use me for sex.

Hey normally I'd be in for sex only type relationships, but i see her as being too much like the Psycho Girl Webcam posted a while back. As for the topic of the forum... Don't still love her (didn't love her for most of the relationship), but I do feel as if she has a lot of potential. That's what pisses me off really: The potential being wasted. So yeah, I still see her every now and then. I still help her mother with computer stuff...

Honestly don't know why I bother, I feel ill just at the thought of seeing "she-daemon"...

[Sodapop]

This thread makes me queasy.

Or it could be the cheese burger I just ate.

Its like grouphug.us but with avatars and post counts...

[stevecai]

I won't deny that the religion isn't followed properly. The reason for that is the low literacy rates, which means that people have to take other people's word for what the religion stands for, and if those people can't read properly either - you've got problems.

[Cassa]

Also generally people are stupid, which doesn't help.

[stevecai]

so very true!

[Sir_Palatine]

Lets not turn this into a religous debate... it's NOT the thread for it.

Man... you ARE on the ball today.. yet 'another' thread you have effectively policed... congrats... you ARE a champ