Let's just stay friends

[sperm]

Thats the catch phrase of a typical relationship dumper.

But how many of us have successfully stayed friends with an ex after it all goes pear shaped ?

Being a geek, I havent had many past relationships....
One of them doesn't even remember me when I bump into her in the street
And the other relationship was with my high school sweetheart who just recently passed away (my mates were actually surprised and shocked we kept in contact)


I guess the best well-known geeky example of a couple becoming friends is seinfield and elaine..... what are others real life experiences ?

[BtrFly]

i have remained friends with my first ever bf. i am trying to fight the urge to be an absolute bitch at the moment, because they deserve it. he wants to remain friends. and it is an absolute rebuff to everything that has happened. i am fighting very hard here...

[Enos]

I've only ever had one serious long term gf and I still keep in touch and we're good friends.
I'm even still friends with a few of the short terms but that was more cos we were fuck buddies rather than proper relationship...

[Ic3]

Most of my 5 relationships I haven't kept in touched with, just cos of the ways things happened. One I did though, and we were great friends, until about a year after we broke up, she did something (not related to the break up just something) and we didn't speakfor about 6 months, but we are back to being good friends again...

I think it depends on the situation, I guess with that one, we found we were better as friends than a couple...

[sperm]

gee people, wait til i finish the poll before jumping onboard with the comments !!

[repeat]

Yeah you can stay friends with ex's, some of them anyway. I am still friends with two of them and even meeting up with my last ex tomorrow for lunch.

[sperm]

welcome to zgeek repeat, im pleased that i could make a topic that brings in the lurkers :)

[repeat]

welcome to zgeek repeatGlad to be here. I met up with a few people on the weekend at the meet so thought I may as well join up here.

[Al]

I'm friends with my ex gf that I went out with for 5 years, but can't be with an ex I went out with for 8 months because I love her too much... The difference is in the way you feel about them I guess.

If you still love them in a -I want to be with you forever- way, then cut it and run. Anything less and you'll just prolong the pain! If you are happy being friends and are satisfied that nothing is left there in terms of a relationship then being friends is easy.

[BtrFly]

big al - i wish i could take your advice. sometimes i am just a sucker for the pain...

[rin]

i went out with a best friend for 4 years... we broke up a year ago, and we are just starting to talk to eachother now. we were both really hurt after the break up, but we've realised it was for the right reasons, and that we would rather be friends than not have eachother at all... yes things are still awkward as he wants to get back together where as i don't, but we're working on our friendship - he has realised he needs to move on... so far so good :)

[Tintin]

No, I am not in any form of contact with my main ex. She gave me the 'let's be friends' line too. What I want to know is, what do your current squeezes think of your contact with exes? (No... not .exe's).

[Al]

No, I am not in any form of contact with my main ex. She gave me the 'let's be friends' line too. What I want to know is, what do your current squeezes think of your contact with exes? (No... not .exe's).
Generally not thrilled, but I'm a like it or lump it person. Besides, I play by the rules so they've got nothing to worry about!

[Al]

big al - i wish i could take your advice. sometimes i am just a sucker for the pain...

Run, run while you still can!!!!!!!!!!!!

[durus]

11 relationships. No remaining friends. A couple of them have wanted to, but i feel uncomfortable.
There is only one that I ever really tried to remain friends with and it prolonged the pain of the breakup (badly). If I were to see her again I would want to get back together.
I do have a female friend who refused to date me that I am still friends with. I like her a lot and wouldn't MIND being with her, but I'm also happy to remain friends.

[Girl.]

Of 7 past relationships, I've managed to stay friends with 4 of my exes. The longest relationship I've ever had lasted for 2 years: it ended nastily when I moved overseas for a year just after highschool, but given that we had a lot of mutual friends and that we'd been best friends for years beforehand, we basically got sick of being horrible to each other, called it quits and decided to stay friends. It worked - probably because I didn't come back to Australia for a year, and by the time I returned my ex had well and truly moved on.

As for the ones I haven't managed to stay friends with -- I hooked up with a fairly close friend who lived in a different city while I was visiting him, and despite his assurances that things would work out and we'd stay together after I left, he dropped me at the airport, waited until I'd flown home and then picked up another girl that night. I would've been fine with it if he'd been upfront and told me that he wasn't interested in a LDR, but given that he insisted we try to stay together, and that I only found out about his new girlfriend through a mutual friend, I was a bit shitty.

I lost contact with two other exes - one lives in the US and the emails and letters petered out after a while, and I didn't really have enough in common with the other to sustain a friendship (which is probably why our relationship broke down in the first place).

[That Bloke]

I liked a girl, friend went for her just because I liked her, friend got her, remained friends(the girl & I), some time passed, she went for me & then went to Holland, upon returning acted like it didn't happen, a week later (at 1999 BDO actually) was the last time I was ever in the circle, now on rare occassions that I do come into contact with her again I can't even function.

[Cassa]

I haven't had much previous relationship experience either. Most of it is of the 'illicit (not sex) encounters but not actually dating'. One of these, which was quite prolonged (two separate instances that lasted for a couple of months in 1998 and 2001) I am still good friends with, he is coming to my wedding. My ex, well, it took two years for him to apologise for the shocking way he treated me, so I don't hold out much hope for that ever progressing beyond the 'civil greetings' stage. All my relationships have been strange, including the current one.

I would really think it depends on each individual situation as to whether or not you can stay friends with someone.

[Psycho Jon]

Sometimes you can be friends, sometimes... Well.

One ex is still a good friend, and probably will remain so... Unless her hubby finds out! :D

My last ex... She wants "to be friends", I just want the damn $2000 - $3500 she owes me! :mad:

I don't know why ex's want to be friends with me. I really don't! I not easy to live with and I get bored of the whole relationship thing after about 2 months. Hell, my last relationship was my longest ever: Three months! :(

[Glompbot]

I've had several ex's... at best, they hate me and I hate them, and we don't speak... at worst we have 'incidents' which end up taking down onlookers. (that situation seems to have calmed down a bit too)

There was one from a few years back, who i made the mistake of sleeping with again... he was the (HAH) nice one. I dumped him... ran into him again a while ago/recently and have been sleeping with him on a regular-casual basis... thats recently gone to shit...
Now I wish nothing had happened...

But you know... its nice to say I don't hate all of my ex's... first time in my life I've been able to talk to an ex after breaking up (even if we hadn't spoken for 2-3 years)...

Its sad to see how much they've changed though...

the only consistent thing in all your failed relationships is you
(actually... thats going to be my new location)

[hazza]

im friends with most of my ex girlies... cos they make me look hawt when i hang out with them...

i mean...


oh shi...

[SamBo]

I wont comment on this matter as it would no doubt cause people to bite my head off.... :rolleyes:

[Glompbot]

Silly sot, just comment already.

[spurr]

the only consistent thing in all your failed relationships is you (+ a bunch of other self-loathing type posts in the relationship forum)


I hope Sapia is still posting on zgeek when she hits that "no, you're the schmoopie" type relationship sometime down the line. It will give be good for Cassa & Dumhed to have some competition for the "blissfully in love" title :p

All the turd relationships you've had to endure will seem worth it when you can use those to recognise and appreciate the right person for you when they come along. Keep stepping up to the plate and you'll hit one eventually.

[Cassa]

I prefer the title 'vomitously in love' thanks

[Glompbot]

No, I got over that type of relationship when I was 18.

Occasionally you'll get the 'aww, isn't that nice' when i'm in one, but not often. The people I date don't tend to do nice things unfortunately (see previous comment somewhere else about NEVER being bought flowers... i had one guy say he wanted to buy me flowers, but wanted them to be for no reason... and then said there was always a reason... of course he could say all this at the fucking END of the relationship).

Sometimes I think I have the 'one' relationship, but they've so far been the unhealthiest ones.

[kré]

where's the option for your poll options are too god damned long?

[hazza]

sambo u can talk about what happened with my sis. i will just sit and laugh :D

[spurr]

sambo u can talk about what happened with my sis. i will just sit and laugh :D

But it's what happened with your mum that he's worried about :p

[Nandragon]

I have been known to call out of the blue past boyfriends, school mates and the like.
My first husband and I are still friends, even though wife #5 doesn't allow him to recieve calls from females.
My last booty call, would talk to me if I paid the penny pinching ass the $40 i owe him.
Of course beazelbub (2nd husband) calls for the daughter, he's the ONLY person I know I NEVER EVER want to talk to and reminince with.

[BtrFly]

i am still friends with my first ever bf, and i saw him again for a bit of a hook up. turns out i am still too mentally unstable to be able to have a fuck buddy (random sex really doesnt do it for me), and hes too in love with the girl across the otherside of the world for it to work for him.

can we say awkward situation? but we are still friends, so thats good.

[Springer]

"Kinda, its a spiralling decay leading to faceless email forwards"

Sooooooo true...

[Unsavoury_Type]

There was no "Kill them and assume their identity" option...

[TheAwesome]

Im sorry guys but it just DOES NOT WORK!!

[BtrFly]

things are becoming better... i have started to move on... oh and did i mention i have green eyes (no not the jealous kind either!)

[tikdoph]

Now taking bets on how long it will take before minigirl deletes one of her posts.

[BtrFly]

who the fuck is minigirl anyway? because if anyone was thinking it was me, you are SORELY mistaken...

[Zan]

Hay guys, mind if we stay on topic?

:edit:

Well, fuck. What a fucking hypocrite.
Sincerest apologies to tikdoph and btrfly.

[SamBo]

I wanted to remain friends with my ex... but fuck that, it aint happening now. I see no reason why I should bother associating myself with someone who has been absolutely nasty to me for so long. I tried, I really did, and I gave up some time ago due to me constantly recieving constant snide remarks and insults, and a getting general "hated guts" feeling.
Now all of a sudden she wants to be friends as it seems to suit her now.... :rolleyes:
All the while hypocrisy rules....
YAY!!! :rolleyes:

I wish I'd just cut all ties in the first place, it would have spared alot of hurt feelings for all involved....

[BtrFly]

yeh well dont we all wish that. so much for keeping it off the boards.

a great big fuck off coming your way

[timace]

My most recent ex, we refuse to talk, to put it simply. She told me that retaining a friendship with yours truly is not worth the effort. And to be honest, I did feel very close to her, but getting blown apart by her, it's sure woken me up to the quality of some people out there.

I get along fantastically with my first girlfriend, after a period which was pretty ugly following the breakup. You'd never know we even had that bad period. We're like best friends. (strange, hey?)

My second gf, we don't talk as much, but we still get along well. No hard feelings at all. She wants to flat with me :p

So yeah, pretty mixed, I spose.

[Lina]

Two of my ex's took to stalking me so, needless to say, I didn't remain friends with them. I saw another ex in my home town the other day and he looked at me like he'd seen a ghost and then ran (literally) into the nearest shop. Messy break-up that one.
Another one is (was, who cares) in jail. My track record is fabulous.

My current boyfriend was friends with his ex of 5 years, which didn't concern me in the slightest...until she had her mother send abusive letters to our house. I drew a big freakin' line right there.