agony aunt

[Glompbot]

I know I do it... I'm terrible for it... Here goes.

When you find your friends having relationship problems and they come to you for advice (despite the fact that all of yours have failed miserably... which never ceases to amuse me)... do you find yourself always refering back to 'that' relationship? Do you find yourself giving examples from your own history?

I've always done it... ffs. when I was 13 I was giving relationship advice to a 24 year old... Seemed to work for them for some odd reason.

But I've found since I had that big fuckoff relationship, I always refer my examples back to that... Does anyone else do this? why do you think it is?

Why do you think people always go to the person with the worst track record with their ex's?

[PhilDude]

Why do you think people always go to the person with the worst track record with their ex's?


just to make sure they know what NOT to do :D

[Glompbot]

Hahaha, maybe... may be.

[Peach]

I the case of my friends that ask, they don't really want advice, just someone to listen to them moan about their partner. :)

[Glompbot]

Woah, missing posts galore.

Anyway.

Its quite possible you are right about them wanting to know what not to do, but often they actually follow my advice, and at least for a short time it does work...
Which makes you wonder why it never works for me... *shrug*

[Holster]

I have been asked for advice before. I find I use my experiences from all the relationships I have had, good and bad.

I think it's most people first response to pass on the things they learned to "the relationship" but you learn from every relationship, good and bad, short or long. The long term bad relationship tends to change your life more (who you are), but I do think you learn just as much in a good relationship, about yourself and relationships in general.

But I do agree with Peach on this, most people do just ask for advice for a friendly ear / shoulder to cry on.

[polite]

I have been asked for advice before. I find I use my experiences from all the relationships I have had, good and bad.



Advise me where all those posts went then. Ideas?

[Holster]

To the new thread more than likely.

[durus]

Yup many missing posts. But mostly off topic.
Anyway when I was going to bed last night I checked my email and had a response to my recent break up from one of my few female friends.
She gave me (as usual) good advice, which I'm going to try and follow.
Back to topic though, she has less experience in relationships and the same sort of dodgey track record as I do.
I guess where I'm going with this is that quite frequently the best answer is common sense and most of us already know what the best answer is. It's just that your emotions are usually telling you to do something else, so you ask others for advice. Since pretty much anyone with a little experience and a half decent brain can give you good advice you generally wind up asking/talking to anyone that you trust regardless of track record (wow took a long time for me to get to the point there).

[tikdoph]

quite frequently the best answer is common sense Gee... where have I heard that before? :rolleyes:

[durus]

Yeah i know and I didn't disagree with it when you said it. I just disagreed with the other stuff you said at the time. Besides your post isn't there any more.

[Aardvark]

My advice is usually "Dump the bitch. It's not worth the hassle."

Those who take my advice either go out in style or regain that much needed hand in their relationship

Those who don't remain pussy whipped bastards until the other half decides to move on to someone who has a spine

[scathing]

When you find your friends having relationship problems and they come to you for advice (despite the fact that all of yours have failed miserably... which never ceases to amuse me)... do you find yourself always refering back to 'that' relationship? Do you find yourself giving examples from your own history?

No-one comes to me for relationship advice anymore. I get the feeling that this should be telling me something......

Anyway, you only really know the experiences you have. Of course if someone comes to you for relationship advice, you can only relate it to the lessons you've learnt from your experiences.

Even if other people tell you things they've been through, aside from it not being your place to share personal information with a third party if they need relationship advice, you don't know it and understand it like what you've personally been through. So what happens to other people doesn't come to mind as quickly as what happens to you.

For many people, there will be a watershed relationship. The one that changes things from naive puppy love that teens go through, to whatever kind of relationships you have now. I hesitate to use the word "mature", since its not always the case.

Since it has such an impact, though, people will remember it. It will stand out in their minds. It will have changed how they view and approach relationships at its very core, not just how you might act in the relationship in certain circumstances.

For example, in those "puppy love" relationships, you'll hook up with whoever you feel attracted to, and you might work out not to tell someone they look fat / ugly / stupid in their favourite top. After the watershed relationship you start looking at people and wondering if you should get involved with them at all, even if there's some kind of attraction there, because of the downsides you can see already.....

[lostreality]

poke her in the ass then dump her. cos if you pokes her up the butt she will never forget you.

[Aardvark]

And whenever she spreads rumours about your small penis, you can always retort with "She didn't think it was so small when I STUCK IT UP HER ARSE!"

The rumours usually dry up quicker than you can say, "Golly, there be some wind in here"