Who, Where, and Why

[tikdoph]

I know I do it... I'm terrible for it... Here goes.

When you find your friends having relationship problems and they come to you for advice (despite the fact that all of yours have failed miserably... which never ceases to amuse me)... do you find yourself always refering back to 'that' relationship? Do you find yourself giving examples from your own history?

I've always done it... ffs. when I was 13 I was giving relationship advice to a 24 year old... Seemed to work for them for some odd reason.

But I've found since I had that big fuckoff relationship, I always refer my examples back to that... Does anyone else do this? why do you think it is?

Why do you think people always go to the person with the worst track record with their ex's?
Do you post so often in the Relationships forum because you feel the need to stimulate posting activity or do you do it because you're ZGeek's biggest attention seeker? I'm thinking the latter. I'd really like to know what it was that has made you the most self-absorbed person on here. Hmmm... on second thoughts, maybe I don't.

That "big fuckoff relationship" of yours that you keep going on and on and on about is getting really, really, really fuckin' old. Seriously old. Really.

[MisterBishi]

She's been that way since she was 13 ffs :rolleyes:

[durus]

tikdoph. If you don't like to read it you don't have to. Stop behaving like a troll.

Anyway back to topic. People used to and I used to refer to my one really good relationship. But nowadays it's pretty damned rare for someone to come to me for relationship advice. It's more because I'm not that close to many people. I think this is one of my shortest resonses......

[tikdoph]

tikdoph. If you don't like to read it you don't have to. Stop behaving like a troll.

Anyway back to topic. People used to and I used to refer to my one really good relationship. But nowadays it's pretty damned rare for someone to come to me for relationship advice. It's more because I'm not that close to many people. I think this is one of my shortest resonses......
Yeah, you're right... I don't have to read it... except that it's there just about every fuckin' time she makes a post in the Relationships forum. FFS, her much publicised "big fuckoff relationship" is old, has been discussed ad nauseum, and adds nothing to the forum that hasn't been discussed a hundred times before. It's a dead horse that has been flogged so many times, it could supply a glue factory for a year.

The last time I checked, this forum was called "The Relationship Forum", not "Sapia's Big Fuckoff Relationship Forum".

[Glompbot]

Do you post so often in the Relationships forum because you feel the need to stimulate posting activity or do you do it because you're ZGeek's biggest attention seeker? I'm thinking the latter. I'd really like to know what it was that has made you the most self-absorbed person on here. Hmmm... on second thoughts, maybe I don't.

actually it is the former not the latter reason.
I quite like this forum, I quite like reading about what people post... I really liked the discussion that happened in the 'life changing relationships' thread, and I'm just making posts to see people discuss things, not for the attention.

I have made *one* 'attention whore' type thread in here, and that was when I was genuinely upset about something (the 'trust' thread for your reference), which only held a mild reference to that bad relationship, but mostly was referring to one that just ended in the last few days.

Yes, I *do* refer back a lot to that bad relationship because it was such a fucking large part of my life. I am not after pity because of what happened because I am well over it, but it *was* a large part of my life and I am not going to forget the lessons I learnt from it.

I would have added to the first post in this one 'yet again trying to get conversation going' or something similar... but I'm running out of topics, so this will probably be the last thread I start... Unless I think of something inspiring. If you don't like what I'm trying to start why don't *you* start your own fucking thread and try to get some conversation going in here. Or maybe you would prefer that I said everything so it didn't relate to me, but instead to a hypothetical friend who had a situation very similar to the one I've had in my past...... I don't see the point in that personally.

I draw my experiences from my life, that may come off as being self-absorbed or like I am an attention whore, but often, I'm not being that way... I'm not that fucking subtle.

[Icky_Thoomp]

My 2 cents on the Tikdoph vs Sapia stoush....

After a lifetime of fucked relationships and general abuse from women, I pretty much only refer to one relationship anymore, and that is one that really fucked me around. I find that when you get hammered by someone in such a bad way, that experience is usually front of mind when discussing relationships with friends in the future.

Maybe Sapia does harp on about her bad relationship, but then what else is a forum such as this for? Live and let live.

Now, back to the topic at hand....
I think the fact that people who have had bad relationships always get asked for advice from friends is basically the universe having a laugh at us. Even Fate enjoys "schadenfraude".

Its also a case of "Physician heal thyself" but we are not able to take our own advice. Does that qualify as irony?

[Zan]

...adds nothing to the forum that hasn't been discussed a hundred times before.

People come to and post in this subforum (for the most part) because they are looking for advice from those more experienced than them. Sapia, among others, is able to offer advice because she does have experience with relationships.

Perhaps we should just start offering advice about things we have no idea about. At least that way we wouldn't have to worry about listening to people going on about that bullshit called 'experience'.

:sarcasm:

[tikdoph]

Yes, I *do* refer back a lot to that bad relationship because it was such a fucking large part of my life.Then stop trying to make it such a fucking large part of everyone elses life.

I am not after pity because of what happened because I am well over it, but it *was* a large part of my life and I am not going to forget the lessons I learnt from it.Yeah, and at the rate you keep bringing it up, we're not going to forget it either. If life has taught me anything, it's that when someone says "I'm not after pity" what they actually mean is "I'm after pity". Otherwise they wouldn't bring it up.

If you don't like what I'm trying to start why don't *you* start your own fucking thread and try to get some conversation going in here.Because I don't feel the need to foist my past relationship woes onto other ZGeekers for no other reason than to entertain myself. If someone is having relationship problems and they feel the need to post in this forum, asking for advice, then I'll give it. It seems to have worked so far because the feedback on my advice has always been positive. God forbid that when I give advice, I should focus on the person I'm trying to help, instead of on myself. :rolleyes:

People come to and post in this subforum (for the most part) because they are looking for advice from those more experienced than them. Sapia, among others, is able to offer advice because she does have experience with relationships.FFS, were you paying any attention?? You don't need to keep referring back to the same old bad relationship in order to give someone some good advice! There are many people on here who have shared their own relationship wisdom and they did it without going on and on and on about their "big fuckoff relationship". Why? Because you don't need to base advice on your own bad experiences when you can base it on good ol' common sense.

Of everyone I've seen offering advice on here in response to people who have requested it, Sapia seems to be the only person who spends more time talking about her own problems than she does helping others with theirs. Besides, with her track record, she's the last person I'd be asking for relationship advice.

Seriously... if you were learning to drive, you wouldn't ask for driving lessons from someone who keeps writing off their car, would you? :rolleyes:

[Zan]

Point(s) taken, Tikdoph.

Don't stop posting, Sapia - because there are some times where good ol' common sense doesn't quite cut it.

[Glompbot]

*fizzes*
Agreed, points taken.

Right now I'm a little tired and recovering from being drunk, so I can't be fucked arguing your points...
I do however take offence to the pity thing. I'm not searching for pity... Maybe for answers... but not pity.

[BtrFly]

dude - this is the RELATIONSHIP forum, not B&R, take it where it needs to go. there is enough angst in this forum already...

on another point... i am REALLY happy :)

[scathing]

Yes. Well.

As people have rightly pointed out, this is a relationship forum. Its a place for people to act like whiney bitches, and cry for attention. If relationships are going well, no-one feels the need to talk about it online, so expect to see a lot of self pity and cries for help.

If you disagree with some of the specific content, then PM them and discuss the airing of their dirty laundry with them. If its very personal and another member doesn't want their shit aired by someone else, then report the post.

However, they're well within being on topic to talk about it ad nauseum in this forum.

You may as well drop into the automotive forum and start complaining about how people are talking about cars all the time in there, and how Dumhed is telling us all how his car is going, and that its getting old.

If you don't like reading about people being whiney shits about past relationships in this forum, you can choose to read, or not read, it. You can choose to set that particular person on ignore.

You will, however, not choose to not post that people should shut up about relationship stuff in the relationship forum. You'll simply not post it.

[tikdoph]

You will, however, not choose to not post that people should shut up about relationship stuff in the relationship forum. You'll simply not post it.
So what is your point. So what.

[Holster]

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2002/20021222/id2.jpg

[scathing]

My point is that we all stay on topic, and if you don't like people whinging about relationships in a relationship forum you will keep it to yourself.

[tikdoph]

if you don't like people whinging about relationships in a relationship forum you will keep it to yourself.Not. Gonna. Happen.

As soon as Sapia raises the subject of her "big fuckoff relationship" in a thread, it becomes fair game. As such, I will discuss it at my leisure. Afterall, if she can discuss it, then there's nothing stopping me from doing so either.

[durus]

The problem is you didn't discuss it. You discussed her discussing it. Thus the whole off topic thing. Normally I agree with you, but today you are wrong.

[Zan]

As soon as Sapia raises the subject of her "big fuckoff relationship" in a thread, it becomes fair game. As such, I will discuss it at my leisure. Afterall, if she can discuss it, then there's nothing stopping me from doing so either.

I'm suprised to see you acting like such a child, tikdoph. 'I can do whatever I want, and you can't stop me'. How about this scenario? Someone's 8 year-old daughter is raped and killed. This person, some 5 years later, says to the daughter of a friend of hers 'take care of yourself, and here's some advice to stay safe'. Should someone who overhears the conversation start yelling 'FOR FUCK'S SAKE GET THE FUCK OVER IT, YOU FUCKING WHINGER. YOUR ADVICE IS BULLSHIT!'?

But I digress. The bottom line is thus:

You've been asked to refrain from telling people to shut up about their relationship stuff in a forum by a moderator of that forum. There is something stopping you from 'discussing it' further.

[Holster]

How about EVERYBODY just stops going off topic.

If you all fell the need to continue to discuss the merits of who, how, and why people post in this forum start a new thread kthx

[tikdoph]

The problem is you didn't discuss it. You discussed her discussing it. Thus the whole off topic thing. Normally I agree with you, but today you are wrong.The funny thing is that everyone that posted a comment after Sapia's last post has just been continuing the very thing the've all been accusing me of perpetrating. Not a single fucking post since Sapia's has dealt with the subject, you hypocritical fucks. Almost 24 hrs ago Sapia acknowledged my last post to her, agreed, and said the points were taken. Therefore, I said nothing further and left it at that.

But then the necromantic nincompoops like BtrFly, scathing, and yourself, who felt the need to puff yourselves up with righteous indignation, decided to drag this on a SHITLOAD further than it ever needed to go. A SHITLOAD further than I ever felt the need to take it, you hypocritical lameasses.

My post to Sapia was motivated by a desire to see fresh subject matter discussed that was new and interesting, something that hasn't been flogged like a dead horse. God forbid. :rolleyes: For you geniuses to tell me to shut up seems to indicate that you would prefer an "on topic" forum where the same old boring shit is recycled, reconstituted, and rehashed over and over and over again ad infinitum. Well, the last time I checked, this was the "Discussions" forum, not the "Recycling" forum. If you want to see the same old boring bullshit time and time again, open a thread with said same old boring bullshit, click on File -> Save As -> Ok ... and save the thread on your hard drive so that you can look at it whenever you like, thus enabling you to keep yourself amused into perpetuity.

Personally, I'll take the discussions that don't owe their longevity to the liberal use of formaldehyde.

But hey, that's just me. :rolleyes:

[polite]

This thread is tedious. I know that if I think that is so I shouldn't be reading it.However I have to read it first to find that out. Make sense?
Tikdoph, just lighten up a little would you, please.?
The funny thing about all the advice that has been given doesn't relate to you because your mind is made up.A know it all at 33.
I'm thinking that LLB has a point.
What sort of work do you do from home?

[tikdoph]

How about EVERYBODY just stops going off topic.

If you all fell the need to continue to discuss the merits of who, how, and why people post in this forum start a new thread kthx
Didn't see this as I'd had the window open for quite a while, during which time you must have posted.

oh, and Zand3r... I never told anyone to shut up, you retard. I merely told Sapia that something she'd said was getting old. Oh, and I loved the way your post had absolutely nothing to do with the topic either... good one. ;)

[tikdoph]

Fuck, you people make me laugh. :D

[polite]

Fuck, you people make me laugh. :D

Yes, I find you hysterical as well. I don't want to go off-topic though in case one of the Nazis gets me. So I'll just say that love is a thing that happens and can't be planned.You know this of course O wise being of a fucking website. Tool. :mad:

[Holster]

As the Agony Aunt thread has gone completely off topic, i'm spliting the off topic replies in here.

When posting in here please remember the rules of the forum lads and ladies.

[tikdoph]

Damn, if I'd known you were gonna be this good a mod, I would have voted for you. :p

[Glompbot]

tikdoph, I didn't actually agree to your points, if you recall I took offence at the fact that you believe I talk about this shit for pity.
I may be an attention seeker, but I don't like pity... I try not to pity others, I don't like people pitying me. Its... degrading. It makes people feel weak. I don't think when people are upset about something that they should be made to feel even weaker or more vunerable than they already are.

And for everyone else, I upvoted tikdoph for one of his responses because I quite like the argument... Its not like I'm going to take anything personally. I agree with him on one major point, once you say something on a public forum it becomes fair game.


(i'm recovering from working grave shift, sorry if I've made any spelling mistakes or missed any words)

[tikdoph]

tikdoph, I didn't actually agree to your points, if you recall I took offence at the fact that you believe I talk about this shit for pity.Then maybe you shouldn't have said "Agreed, points taken". ;)

[Glompbot]

so, tikdoph loves sapia:)

Woah, thread necromancy!

Careful minigirl!

[Glompbot]

and we love you too:)

Aww, thanks minigirl.

(who ISN'T DELETING POSTS!)

W00t! go minigirl!

[tikdoph]

so, tikdoph loves sapia :)Yeah, be careful like Sap said... the necromantic thread police might be around. ;)

And yes, I love Sapia, but I fuck scathing, while Chocoholic watches (she's such a kinky girl).

[Cassa]

Wow I didn't even know this thread existed, pretty poor form for a mod. Must have been while I was away somewhere.

[DrDivad]

Reading this provided some amusement, seems to me like you are all grandmas. Each person has one or two decent points and thinks they're the expert. Well look here buster, I'm the expert and I'll say when it's Christmas!

[Mr Bigglesworth]

Actually, it looks like Tikdoph and Sapia are made for each other, theyre already arguing like a married couple!

Just trying to find humour in a bad situation :)

[King_Crud]

they should get married then they can fill the relationship forum with all of their marriage fighting. I'm sure it'd be worse than this. It'd give me something to read and remind why i'm not marrying my g/f or anyone else (except maybe bishi, but only after the relevant laws are changed)