leave or be left?

[timace]

Are you more likely to dump someone when things go bad, or the other way around?

Up until last night, I was zero and five. Never called it off.

Last night that changed. I decided to break it off with Vicky. I felt it had to be done... Something I never thought would happen. It's strange and I'm pretty upset, confused and thinking about everything right now.

[catt]

I would like to say that I try to work through things and generally don't give up easily but when things are awful in I tend to think walk is a better option. I hate mess breaks ups and I am a big believer in staying friends, if that is at all possible.

it hurts no matter which side of things you're on and my heart goes out to you Timace

[Aardvark]

Depends on the person and the circumstances. If I genuinely like them, I'll give patching things up a go. If I'm only in it for sex and fear injury as their baggage train speeds towards me, I'll dump 'em like the byproduct of heavilly chillied food

[BtrFly]

umm usually its mutual... i have only ever broken up with someone twice... and been broken up with once... so i dunno...

[durus]

i have broken up with 5 girls (i think)
been broken up with 2 or 3 times (girls, for those who may feel confused)
and one mutual breakup (also with a girl, stop thinking like that).

I have never broken up with someone as a pre-emptive breakup (break up with them before they break up with me).
It's weird. I think i've generally been more ok after girls have broken up with me than after i have broken up with them. There's usually an emotional backlash after you break up with someone. So for the first couple of hours/days you feel euphoria/free, but then after that you get depressed etc. like normal. You also wind up wondering if you've made the right decision. Sounds like you're considering that now.
It's always easier the more of an asshole your (X) partner is. The nicer they are the harder it gets.
Anyway to answer your question. Once upon a time the answer would have been definately YES. After my last GF I realised that it's not about me running but about properly evaluating the relationship and making a good decision. Just remember to try and live your life so you don't regret it. If you think you would have regretted staying together longer, than you have made the right decision/move, otherwise it's time to get back together.

[timace]

Thank you so very much, Catt. Your thoughts are really appreciated.

It's strange. I think I've always tried too hard to make something that's dead try and last. I usually kill it, through one means or another, and then just try and think that it's all okay.
Funnily enough, it's been the opposite this time. After being hurt so much in the past, and going through what I have in the past few years, I wanted to slow down and pull away, so I wouldn't hurt myself. This still isn't the case. I think I'm the one who's led her on and then slowed down after becoming lost and realising it's just not right.
I'm now hurting her so much, and hurting myself. It's fucked.

Thankyou both for your +rep. <3

[AntZ]

I am definitely in the "be left" pile, even in the cases where I could tell the relationship was pretty much dying I still kept on trying as long as possible, mainly because otherwise I would feel that I hadn't done everything I could have to try and keep it together. It also stems back from my first girlfriend too - she was hurt when the previous boyfriend was too gutless to have broken up with her in person - he did it through an SMS from a friends phone completely out of the blue. As she was (and to some extent still is) a fairly close friend, I was that worried about the effect on her if I broke up with her that I just kept on going out with her until she realised it was over and broke up with me. Which would have been nowhere near as bad if both our mothers werent nearby and kept on badgering her to the point of tears.

[Sutter]

Shouldn't this be a poll?
Anyways, I've had one of each, neither was fun.

[Girl.]

I've broken up with 6 guys and been dumped by one.

I was more upset when I was the dumpee, mostly because I thought everything was better and more stable than it really was, I suppose. Looking back, I think most of me being upset was due to a hurt ego more than anything else -- in the end, I thought the whole situation over, discussed it with some friends and laughed myself out of it.

I was the dumper in my last relationship: I knew it would never last and things had been dying slowly for two months before we broke up, but I still tried to make it work. In the end, I realised that I was being stupid, and that we'd be better off if things ended, and after my ex invited me over one night before locking me in his apartment while he went off chasing skanks and getting drunk, I packed up my things, waited for him to come home then walked out on him. It's strange, I thought I'd be really upset when we broke up, but all I remember is that it was a beautiful, sunny morning and that I felt really happy that I'd never have to see him again.

I'm sorry that you're upset, timace. If you ever need to talk...

[Glompbot]

I've never been dumped.
But I'm always the one who cries the most... can't win can i?

[dilligaf]

i have broken up with 5 girls (i think)
been broken up with 2 or 3 times (girls, for those who may feel confused)
and one mutual breakup (also with a girl, stop thinking like that).

Someones insecure about their sexuality...... :p

[SamBo]

1 all for me
Hurts heaps either way.

[Fuzzy Dice]

I've been dumped a couple of times, but mostly I tend to break things off. You know, all things considered, I think it's easier to be dumped than do the dumping. Sure, you feel like ass when someone dumps you, but there's none of the build-up in your head leading up to the actual dump (hehe) and you don't spend the next week or so wondering if you made the right decision.

Ever notice that? when you break up with someone, no matter how much it needed to be done, you always spend a few days trying to justify it to yourself. Also, when you've been dumped, the rebound is usually faster.

[Peach]

I've only ever been in two serious relationships, in both I was dumped and left in tatters. Still, there aint nothing like a grudge fuck with an ex. :)

[Asmodeus]

taking a big ol horse dump on their front step for them to walk through in teh morning does wonders too

[sapience]

i'd fuck my bitch up the arse then as im about to blast in her rectum i'd say shes dumped. and that once i'm done she can get the fuck out and walk home.

[jambo]

sapience... 'the ladies man'.

[lostreality]

sapience... 'the ladies man'.


too fucking right, who wouldnt want him up their backside.

[rin]

i have had 3 boyfriends:
1st one - broke up with him twice
2nd one - he broke up with me
3rd one - i broke up with him several times

yes, i tend to get back with an ex....