The Engagement Ring!!...dum Dum Dahhh

[DestRuct0r]

So your getting hitched, feel like popping the big one or are married,what do you think is a reasonable amount to spend on an engagement ring...ooh shiny shiny.
Also girls > are diamonds your best friend? Or do you prefer sapphires, lego or "I don't believe in that nonsense buy me a car."?
I've heard by word of mouth it's a quarter of your yearly salary (OUCH!)
I've also heard it's 1 month's earning in salary.

Comments plz

[MisterBishi]

One month's salary is the tradition here.

[Chocoholic]

I think it depends on how much you earn and your financial situation. I know what I do and don’t like and can tell you what I think about others rings but that probably won’t help you. ….. Don’t be cheap and if you can trust them ask her best friend/sisters/Mum for advise. They are the ones that know her best.

Oh and remember while the Zgirl have style and class their comments may not reflect your girls tastes

[nerdboy]

Awe.... Widdle DestRuct0r's so cute. I am not sure about cost but I can get the number of the guy who did the One Ring. He did a friends and his wife's rings and they are very cool.

[dwarfthrower]

Having done it twice... a few tips:

Suss your girl out, find out what she likes - pause in front of jewelry stores, watch what she looks at in catalogues, that sort of thing.

Steal one of her rings and take it down to a jewelry store to find out what size you should get. (don't pawn it unless you're really stretching to buy the engagement ring)

If you can... get it made by a reputable jeweler... It's something you want to last for a while. If you can't stretch that far, a less expensive ring from a reputable store will be a lot better value than an expensive one from Goldmark or some such.

Ask around your female acquantainces as to which jewelry shops in your area are good and which ones to steer clear of.

How much you spend is not the real issue... Obviously to get something that won't turn your fiance's finger green and have the setting last long enough for her to show off the rock you'll need to pay for it. I'd go with a minimum benchmark of about 2 grand if you can afford it. The whole "quarter of your yearly salary" is a bit much... a bit of a hangover from when you were meant to show how well you could provide for her. Shop around, find out how much you're going to need to pay to secure something that's going to look as good in 50 years as it does when you buy it.

[t101]

I always like to think that you should put some thought into the ring - not just some big fuck-off diamond. A ring that you designed yourself (you can do this, and with the help of the jeweler - its like a tattoo you designed yourself!) is way cooler than just something that made you poor.

Sometimes I think there might be some glint of romanticism locked away in my cold dark heart :)

[Cassa]

My engagement ring was simple silver with a twisty design. I chose it. Nowhere NEAR one month's salary (one day's maybe)...the money can be better put towards the actual wedding. Although I'm not a typical female and I care not for jewelry

[nerdboy]

You could do what my sister and brother-in-law did. He told her to pick the ring she wanted and he got a watch (and motorcycle jacket I think) in return. They're an odd pair but I luv em.

[Chrissy]

I chose my own ring. My husband and I have very different tastes and so he took me out and we chose a ring that we both liked, although the final decision was mine.

I think the cost of the ring is less important then how you propose. Keep in mind that this is probably one of the most important days of yours and your girlfriends life and the proposal should be made in a way she will never forget.

A friend of mine was proposed to outside a jewelry shop after a her boyfriend took her out for a really nice lunch. Then they both went in and chose a ring together, a good way to get round it if you are not 100% sure what ring she would like but you want to make it a bit special.

Diamonds are traditional for an engagement ring but it does depend on whether diamonds are your girlfriends thing. Like Cassa said, she chose something contemporary because that suits her. If you buy a diamond, size really isn't everything. A very small clear (white) diamond will be much more expensive than a huge chunk of yellow diamond although to the untrained eye, the difference in colour can be very small.

You can get man-made diamonds now too, which although the colour and clarity will be good, will be much cheaper. The cut of the diamond is also important, something with a ton of facets will sparkle brighter than something with fewer facets. A diamond (or other stone) which is set in a claw setting will sparkle more than one set in a rub-over or channel setting. Go into a jewelers and ask to see different rings in different settings to have a look for yourself.

The setting is also very important. If your girlfriend wears silver jewelry and you want to match the ring to stuff that she wears already, go for white gold (yellow gold which is rhodium plated) if you want something that will stay untarnished, go for platnium (a pure silver metal). If she wears yellow gold, there are several different tones so look carefully at her current jewelry and maybe ask some subtle questions to discover what she really wants.

9ct gold will wear 'harder' (won't scratch or dent as easily) than 18 or 24ct gold, platnium will wear the hardest of all but is the most expensive.

I hope that helps a bit, oh and congratulations!!

[s3raph]

Having done it twice... a few tips:


Hmm, I would have thought that having done it twice would make you less qualified?

[dwarfthrower]

Hmm, I would have thought that having done it twice would make you less qualified?

You think it was the engagement ring that killed her?

[imp]

I wear my mum's wedding ring on my finger. It's a plain sterling silver band. I think it's classical and elegant.

However, I also have my mum's diamond earings and I have to say they're stunning. There's something about the way diamonds reflect the light. It's really something. :)
I'm sounding like your average woman here but i'm being honest. I like shiney things. I wear the same set of earings and the same ring everyday so it's not like i wear loads or own loads of jewelery.
I just like to wear jewelery that has sentimental value :)

Given this, I've always wanted a diamond ring. I'm shallow but at least i'm honest :D

Congrats BTW. Wooby will make a great ring bearer

[nerdboy]

Originally Posted by imp
I like shiney things.

Are you part ferret?

[imp]

Maybe

[BtrFly]

shiney things are good. usually its good to just ask to take them

personally i am after white gold with sparkly stuff! tehehe - ooh shiny - 3second memory :)

[MisterBishi]

You think it was the engagement ring that killed her?You, sir, have my rep.

[criminy]

Diamonds are evil.

Edward Jay Epstein wrote an article in The Atlantic (Feb 1982) titled "Have you ever tried to sell a diamond?" which exposed the diamond industry for what it was (and still is).

http://edwardjayepstein.com/diamond.htm

The basic premise of 70 years of marketing from DeBeers is:

1. Form a cartel, ensure nobody can sell any substantive quantities of diamonds at a price below the cartel price,
2. Convince people that diamonds are rare
3. Convince people that they are special and that they should keep them.

This 3rd point you can see in their campaign "A Diamond is Forever".

The upshot of (3) is that people never try to sell them and hence never realise that you will only get about 10% back on what you paid, even though the stone has not changed in any way.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040903.html
http://www.fguide.org/Bulletin/conflictdiamonds.htm

[flow]

I'm not sure what the tradition is, but we didn't follow it. I didn't want to buy her something she didn't like and she's not a jewlery person - she didn't even have her ears pierced until 6 months ago.

Anyway - we bought it together. We set a budget (which I was privately willing to double), but set on something only 80% of the budget.

Shopping for rings is interesting at first, it gets boring, then horrendous. Then the headaches set in after look at to many shinny things under very bright lights!

Anyway - go for quality over quantity. Don't be taken in by valuations. They're not going to sell you something half of its valuation. We were told not to go to a chain store, rather some of the more boutique stores in the CBD (Melbourne).

To the point - if you're buying a diamond - do some research online about diamonds first. This site is good: http://www.gia.edu/
If so remember the 4 rules of diamonds - cut, clarity, colour and carat.
(What the hell? http://www.servicemerchandise.com/di4ccuclcoca.html)

enjoy.

Just wait until you get married - then YOU get a ring!
See attached - (hard to see but its wood grained white and yellow gold)

[Girl.]

One of my exes used to take my best friend shopping with him every time he wanted to buy me jewellery. That way, I was still surprised whenever I opened my birthday/Christmas presents, and my friend made sure he bought things I'd like.

Quarter of a year's salary sounds way too excessive -- I think the tradition has always been, and still is, that it should be a month's salary. Having said that, it's 2004, not 1904, and personally, I find the idea of a guy having to spend lots of money on me a bit old-fashioned. I'm perfectly capable of buying things for myself! :)

[Drakin]

When buying the engagement ring keep in mind that you will also be buying a wedding ring, i would suggest going for a simple design that will compliment another ring well, something with some bling-bling value as it will be shown to everyone but it doesnt have to be the world's biggest rock.

I would also suggest if your ever out of sydney have a look in the mountains and the south coast for some really unique and cheap jewelry. Im getting my rings (im not sure how but im having to buy three rings, all diamonds) from Mogo on the south coast, there is a awesome jewelers there.

[MisterBishi]

MissBishi's engagement ring is platinum with a single marquise cut diamond pretty much exactly like the one below, it cost me just under a month's salary at ~£1,000.

She chose it, sort of. She mentioned this beautiful ring that she'd seen and I just said 'meh', then secretly went and bought it a month or two later.

http://www.mondera.com/Images/complete/listimages/1012430_Marquise_50.jpg

[DestRuct0r]

I do have a thing for platinum. Maybe a platinum/gold mix like my mother's engagement ring. Beautiful ring MisterBishi, I've seen Princess cut and the Brilliant cut but not this one above. The Marquise cut - very nice.

BTW I'm just in the "hmmm what might be down the track next year" phase but all your comments have been gladly appreciated. Please keep them coming! :)

[imp]

You LIAR!! You led us all on... we thought you were getting hitched!! Now you must DIE!!!!

[DestRuct0r]

no seriously imp will you marry me (my g/f and astro)?
think of the fun, laughter, custard pie hi-jinx and all the shiney shiney!!

Please discuss

[Cassa]

Flow_aus: That is a beautiful ring!

For anyone that's interested, DumHed's wedding ring is pure titatnium :D Thought I'd get him something unusual, and he likes it.

[imp]

no seriously imp will you marry me (my g/f and astro)?
think of the fun, laughter, custard pie hi-jinx and all the shiney shiney!!

Please discuss

shiney shiney? i like shiney shiney!!

do I get a donkey?

[flow]

Cassa - the worst thing is that it looks TERRIBLE in the photo. The best thing is that the guy who made it sold it to us and the bestest best thing is that he's actually got one as this wedding ring.

Bloody heavy though.

[excalibur]

When I ever get married, I am going to gent I know to make it for me, he is a swordsmith, and jeweller, so I am going to get him to make a Damascus ring, (they used damascus for sword blades, it looks woodgrained, because the metal has been folded repeatedly) and I figure this guy is the right one to go to, cause it uses techniques used from both arts.

[DestRuct0r]

shiney shiney? i like shiney shiney!!

do I get a donkey?

I think 2 should suffice with a 44 gallon drum of ky and plastic sheets.

[DestRuct0r]

When I ever get married, I am going to a gent I know to make it for me, he is a swordsmith, and jeweller, so I am going to get him to make a Damascus ring, (they used damascus for sword blades, it looks woodgrained, because the metal has been folded repeatedly) and I figure this guy is the right one to go to, cause it uses techniques used from both arts.


That sounds - and would look great! will google for pics (if any)

From what I've seen and read there is definetely so much thought, time and love infused into any engagement/wedding ring, everyone is so unique in it's own right. God I'll be designing for years at this stage :D

[DestRuct0r]

http://www.lyttleknives.com/grngdma.htm

damascus ring /me thinks

[BtrFly]

Flow_aus: That is a beautiful ring!

For anyone that's interested, DumHed's wedding ring is pure titatnium :D Thought I'd get him something unusual, and he likes it.
so he can fix cars with it too?

[Fitty]

My cousin has a 15k ring... I'm looking at it now.

[Glompbot]

Titanium = sexy.

[Drakin]

The wedding band i choose for myself is a rose gold band with a second silver band inlaid that spins. I wanted something i can play with :)

[Chrissy]

Well, since we are now showing pictures...

This is similar to my wedding band:
http://www.faycullen.com/_pics/300/hb164td/2.jpg

and this is similar to my engagement ring:
http://www.faycullen.com/_pics/800/b612r2d/2.jpg

The diamond in my engagement ring is in a rub over setting though and the little diamonds run down the sides of the band to almost meet underneath.

I love my jewels!

[kleph]

on the plus side. i inherited a gorgeous silver diamond engagement ring that has four smaller diamonds around it. the thing is just under a century old now.

on the down side. i have no one to give it to and no prospects in the forseeable future.

on the last resort side. there is also a giant amethyst ring lined with small diamonds floating in a safe depost box somewhere for the first male that becomes a priest (it can be easily converted to a bishops ring).

but, yeah, i have to admit i love my jewels too.

[MisterBishi]

kleph did I ever mention my work as a pawnbroker?

[kleph]

kleph did I ever mention my work as a pawnbroker?

no, but i heard about your side job as a crack dealer.

[Chrissy]

on the plus side. i inherited a gorgeous silver diamond engagement ring that has four smaller diamonds around it. the thing is just under a century old now.

on the down side. i have no one to give it to and no prospects in the forseeable future.

The answer is yes...



Shallow? Moi? ;)

[kleph]

actually, the ring is nice but it is the set of six cameos about twice as old that are really worth something.

[Chrissy]

Ahh, antique jewelry, I love it.

Theres nothing quite so nice as something which would have a story to tell if only it could talk.

[metalhed00]

I love my jewels!

I love mine, too. :D

[MisterBishi]

Theres nothing quite so nice as something which would have a story to tell if only it could talk.

Those are the exact sentiments I have for the dead schoolgirl in my tool shed.

[Chrissy]

Those are the exact sentiments I have for the dead schoolgirl in my tool shed.

Tsk, you just can't help but spoil something beautiful can you. :rolleyes:

Ps: I wasn't talking about the schoolgirl.

[MisterBishi]

I wouldnt say she was spoilt just yet.

[lostreality]

my girl can have a an onion ring, thats bout all i can afford.

[rin]

i think one month's salary is reasonable :)

i also think it's a good idea to take ur girl shopping and see what sort of rings she likes (she will be wearing it for the rest of her life), if she likes diamonds (eg. rubies and ceylon sapphires are popular) and what sort of size she's after (cos some girls don't like big rocks). i guess, once she's narrowed it down to a few options, you can make the final decision and surprise her one day with the proposal (which i think is more important than the ring - it's something she will never forget).

some jewellery stores can custom make certain rings, so if she sees it in rose gold and prefers white gold, they can make it for you...
and check the valuation certificate for the clarity of the diamonds...
maybe also check if your girl wants the wedding band to match the engagement ring or not (because this can be costly if she wants to have diamonds in the wedding band as well).

i prefer white gold myself (i have a diamond ring my parents gave me for my 21st) and 3 years on it still looks alright... it will need to be rhodium plated soon though... not sure how much it costs... so maybe platinum would be better for a girl who likes white gold (it may be cheaper in the longterm??)

[lostreality]

i also think it's a good idea to take ur girl shopping and see what sort of rings she likes (she will be wearing it for the rest of her life), if she actually likes diamonds (eg. rubies and ceylon sapphires are popular) and what sort of size she's after (cos some girls actually don't like big rocks).

imho, you should already know what taste she has, cos if you dont then you dont really know them and shouldnt be getting married.

price for a ring shouldnt be an issue, a marriage is not based on how much the ring cost it is based on love, trust and honour for the person you are with.

[sapience]

i hate just hate superficial bitches like you, its all about creating a fucking image.

[rin]

So your getting hitched, feel like popping the big one or are married,what do you think is a reasonable amount to spend on an engagement ring...ooh shiny shiny.
Also girls > are diamonds your best friend? Or do you prefer sapphires, lego or "I don't believe in that nonsense buy me a car."?
I've heard by word of mouth it's a quarter of your yearly salary (OUCH!)
I've also heard it's 1 month's earning in salary.

Comments plz

just answering the questions....

[prong]

This is the actual engagement ring i got my fiancee
We had searched around a long time to try and find exactly what we wanted, but really we found it pretty hard to find a simple white gold ring with a diamond. Anyway the final decision was up to me, i found what i wanted after much searching.
It cost $900, but there was a sale at the time, it was normally $1800 so i was happy with that :)

also when you shine a laser pointer into the diamond it reflects out thosands of tiny points of shifting light, it looks very cool!

[_m_]

My advice, like so many before is really that it isn't the ring that matters. Its how, where and most importantly why you present it.

Its a nothing more than a way of telling other people that you love each other. You two already know !!

Having said that, the stats on the one are bought are

Platinum band, 65 point diamond (almost totally colourless) with a matching wedder. It was custom made and cost ~ $5k ish.

There is a picture of the rings (engagement, wedding, and my wedding ring atached).

I can recommend two good jewellers as a result (my wedding ring was made by a different jeweller).

[kré]

www.nomarriage.com

trust me. don't do it.

[lostreality]

www.nomarriage.com

trust me. don't do it.

http://www.paranoid-pictures.de/pics/paranoid.jpg

[kré]

http://www.paranoid-pictures.de/pics/paranoid.jpg

experience != paranoia

[lostreality]

experience != paranoia

hahahaha

[sciwra]

Hmmm, well in terms of the 'should I go a diamond' route I have a little advice.
My flatmate and old formal partner from HS decided she wanted to be different and hunted around for awhile, they bought a Ruby engagement ring cause she loved it, but 2 months later realised it didn't feel right and they went through it all again and got a diamond engagement ring. After a year they broke up, I blame the ring.

Myself, well my gf and I had a one month phone bill that was over the $6000 mark, I decided I wouldn't get a ring worth any less than that. I know she likes a Chopard ring that has loose diamonds which slide between two crystal sheets surrounded by the metal of your choice. Then she's Indian and they have a custom that the jewelery must be brand new, ideally with purchased pure gold. She already owns a lot of 24 carat gear but as you probably know, it's too soft and things fall out, off and lose the shape.

So I'll probably end up getting this $15-20000 Chopard ring, as long as she realises the wait will be much longer ;)

[madnutter]

all i can say is, don't buy from michael hill (the best of the chain store jewellers I think) for the simple reason that a few weeks after you buy the ring, they send you a gift voucher (part of their points scheme) to encourage you to buy more there! I think i have spent about $6400 there in the last five years.... no more! seriously though they have nice stuff

oh, hope you enjoy the image

[DestRuct0r]

id be scared, a ring just makes me feel less secure, dont know why :grr:

Less secure? How peculiar. I would think it would make one feel more stable?

Or does it make one feel "locked in" or even caged?

[imp]

That's almost as good as the "Diamonds: She'll pretty much have to" ad. :D GOLD

[BtrFly]

its a purty ring - i much like it, and you didnt have to lose a limb to acquire it. good work :)

[LauraleeBug]

I wouldn't say that! I like being engaged (4 times)! It was just the "marriage" part I couldn't go thru with on the first 2.....

The second one was a serious longterm relationship with a man who really was a millionaire.... He gave me a 3.5k VS1, excellent clarity Emerald cut diamond (only near perfects can be emerald cut; that's the rectangle one), surrounded by 2 matching 1/2k ea "baggets" (just a name for smaller emerald cut diamonds) and mounted in solid platinum. It was gorgeous. It was also worth $30K. (But, seeing as he knows ppl he paid about $20K or so).

I decided not to marry him; for many different reasons but our relationship was still good & we were friends. He rebounded & married a girl exact opposite of me 6 mos later (that was 10 yrs ago) I still think he regrets it, but we're still friends....

He told me to keep it when he announced he was getting married and at first, still paid my apartment (which I was "supposed" to own) since he got the half-million $ condo overlooking the Hudson River (in NYC) in the Village that I designed. I mean, It was his money - I didn't want that. I just knew he wanted something different than me, and I wanted him to be happy - for instance, I don't want children. I've tried thinking about it, even tried getting pregs (but stopped after 4 mos of panic attacks) w/my ex-husband.... but I let them both go so they could be happy. I couldn't give them what they really wanted - children. I don't feel I could be a good mother given my background; and also admit that *I* want the attention; I don't wanna become strangers with my own husband because "the kids" take up our time. Maybe I'm just selfish. But I'm also realistic. There are a lot of "leftover" kids in the world that I can pick up anytime I feel ready & grown up enough - why add more to the world? I don't care if they look like Saddam Hussein - I don't have an ego about my genetics.

I was also offered a great sum of $ (legally) in the states about 10 yrs back to sell my eggs because of my genetics & IQ, blonde, blue eyes, etc.... but thought about it long & hard; and even though my husband and I were broke - declined on moral grounds. Sure, they may be all that - but they may also inherit my mental (emotional
not delusional) illnesses... I can risk someone else having that kind of pain....

Anyway, so to the one I finally married - I just gave him Tony's (the above mentioned millionaire) ring and said to "give it to me when he was ready".... he did, we got married, and he immediately wanted to hock it to start a restaurant w/his brother (we didn't even get home from our honeymoon yet!) which failed and almost lost me the ring because I couldn't pay the interest....

In the end, I ended up writing to Tony, sending him the ticket and the $5000 bill on it and asked him if he wanted it. He did, he paid my debt on it; and had it reset for his own wife as a necklace (because she wouldn't want it if she knew it was once mine)...

So, the 4th engagement ring I got; I picked myself. It was gorgeous & big, but it was also CUBIC ZERCONIA which - I got no problem with.

I admit, I love big flashy shiny things; and don't want my man looking bad for not being fool enough to spend $5K on a ring. He would if he could but instead, we're gonna take all my really nice cubics to a jeweler and have our own engagement ring made. That I like, plus I could NEVER wear the real one! Only when I was in like Vegas or something - so it's a waste of money.

We're not in that league anymore (been rich, been poor; don't find much difference btwn the two happiness-wise except the price of our "toys") so I opt for looks at a low price; since his "real engagement gift" to me is going to be a nose job - finally!
Now I'll be able to breathe (and not look deformed anymore).... That's Love!!! :p

However, what we DO plan on doing is designing our own celtic-wiccan wedding bands (I originally wanted matching locked bracelets; but jewelers in Australia have never heard of them, and also - android gets too many MRI scans to have something a jeweler needs a key to take off)...

Those will look best in white gold... Pure platinum is a waste of money atp for us.

And - just decided recently; I'm also getting a celtic arm-band tatoo on my upper right arm (it'll also hide a scar I have) but that won't be for another 6 mos at least...

Anyway, I think whatever you decide on (that pix you plan was NICE!) I'm sure it'll always be special to her; because it came from you.........

Congrats! :banana:

[catherleen]

Hi,
It is generally said that you are to spend almost twice to thrice of your monthly salary on the engagement ring (http://capitalnews9.com/content/headlines/116984/paying-attention-to-a-pesky-pest/Default.aspx). But this is no hard and fast rule. It is completely a personal preferrence as to how much is to be spent on the engagement ring. You along with your fiance can decide how much you want to spend on the engagement ring and the wedding ring. It would be good to go shopping with her because you don't want to end up giving her a ring that she doesn't like.

[Boobmeister]

smells like spam

[That Bloke]

smells like spam
& for a site that's deadlinked.

[gunsella]

pretty well considered and tasteful though, wouldn't you say?
not like those recent W.o.W. gold spammers who just revive old threads with unrelated stuff.

[That Bloke]

pretty well considered and tasteful though, wouldn't you say?
not like those recent W.o.W. gold spammers who just revive old threads with unrelated stuff.Maybe she/it(could still be a bot) just specifically targets relationship forums & searches for the keyword "Ring".

[BtrFly]

smells like spam
shouldnt we be sending them here:

http://www.zgeek.com/forum/showthread.php?t=76019

[Boobmeister]

smells like spam

spammer has been dealt with in a "special" way :D

[Chodus]

Hi,
It is generally said that you are to spend almost twice to thrice

smells like spam

Spam, or Hitman!

[DestRuct0r]

spammer has been dealt with in a "special" way :D

Maybe just a lurker?

Man, I forgot about this Thread.

Have bought the engagement ring, bought the wedding ring, and now enjoying
the suffering. OLOLPRANKT <OLDEST JOKE EVER>

For our Wedding Anniversary she got an Eternity Ring as well. It only cost me my liver.

[DestRuct0r]

EDIT: AND MY SOUL!!!!

[RedMaN]

Hitman!
Exactly what I was thinking.

Show us your ball and chain OLOLOLOLOLOL

http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/files/2/6/3/ball_chain.jpg

[and3w]

EDIT: AND MY SOUL!!!!


sif you hadn't sold yours to the dark lord many moons ago :)

[gunsella]

spammer has been dealt with in a "special" way :D

yeah looks like you neg repped her. pretty harsh!

[That Bloke]

yeah looks like you neg repped her. pretty harsh!
Probaby gave her/it the big three in the rep message, IE: Goatsecx, Lemon Party & Tub Girl.

[DestRuct0r]

Exactly what I was thinking.

Show us your ball and chain OLOLOLOLOLOL

http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/files/2/6/3/ball_chain.jpg

I LOLed heartily, but very quietly unless I procured the Wrath of Sauron.