oops i did it again......

[ezer]

catchy title ey?

i friend of mine rang me with a problem, he has a girlfriend who ATM they think may be pregnant........ but even before she told him, hes been rethinking this relationship...

but now hes met another chix0r who im told is infact a model who has this thing for him...... she proved it today by making out with him while on his lunchbreak.

his problem is he doens not really feel like he wants to stay with his current gf, but she may be pregnant, and this other chix0r may just want something that lasts a week......

should he tell her what/when....

[StygiaN]

In my opinion the best thing to do is tell the truth but that really only works well if you are in control of everything. A pregnancy thing hanging in the air is pretty tough. Sucks to be him :(

[catt]

Be honest with both chickies, it is only fair. Tell the chick that thinks she's pregnant that he is having doubts about their relationship but will do the right thing if she is pregnant (whatever that night be. Let the other chick know that his relationship with the first chick isn't completely over and if she is prepared to wait then she is truely worth having a relationship with ;)

[Fitty]

Find out if she's pregnant, tell her how he feels. It would be worse for both of them to have a crap relationship - and for the kid. He should make it clear he's not pissing off cos of the kid. Also, he sounds like too much of a tool if he's cheating on his gf anyhow.

[StygiaN]

Oh yeah

"Oops I'm pregnant again
I played with your dick
but you came to quick"

lol what a song!

[MisterBishi]

Kill her, then himself.

[Fitty]

Yeah, murder suicides are always a quick and effective solution, although sometimes not as appropriate as duct tape.

[ezer]

ummmm he aint that sorta guy (not murderer)

[The Avatar]

Tell her then, so she knows that this child will not be in a good place if she decides to keep it. Then maybe she will get an abortion. It would be best for all if she was pregent that she did.

But, fuck being in that situation!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Chocoholic]

I think he should wait it out a little longer. Get her to do the test twice on two different samples(these things can be wrong). Make sure is he reads the results of both.

If she isn't pregnant problem solved and if she is pregnant and he really cares about her then he should stick around and help her out but he has to tell her that he has doubts about their relationship. I assume he cared about his current girl friend enough to knocked her up, so he should stick around and give her some support, even if the relationship is over. Just chilling out watching some movies and the odd phone call can mean the world when you are going though hell.

[stevecai]

If you make a girl pregnant i think you should marry her unless SHE wants an abortion then it doesn't matter.

Even considering going out with other girls is unethical now. He needs to find out what the results are of the test.

Even if you do think short term, imagine how craphouse it is for the girl who gets pregnant, stuck with a baby which has no father and that she may have to raise on her own. The child grows up without a father, which, although not uncommon is really fair on the child or the single mother who has to do everything herself.

Everytime you have sex thats a risk you take. Your friend took the risk now he has to live with the consequences.

[dozer]

model action? sounds like a no brainer, tell him to switch brains and not to think about thinks so much, he will be happier for it.

[ezer]

well (shes in school still) so keeping it if she is would not be an option really, and he didnt knock her up..... she pretty much nocked him up

[thingy]

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. "she pretty much nocked him up" is a load of shit. He needs to learn some self control and also learn a hard lesson about consequences. If he was not prepared for the possible consequences he should not have done anything. Serves him right if she is pregnant and decidees to keep it. No sympathy for him from me.

[dilligaf]

He should make sure he can fuck at least 3 of her friends, dump her and fuck those friends.

Gotta rub it in dont you?

:p

[fastfood]

he should try to spread his seed far and wide. this is only the beginning. soon his army of illegitimate children will grow to pick-pocketting height, then he can get them to steal handkerchiefs and pocket watches and sing songs in cockney accents whilst behaving like lovable rouges.

or something

[Glompbot]

Let the other chick know that his relationship with the first chick isn't completely over and if she is prepared to wait then she is truely worth having a relationship with ;)

I agree
BUT... try to soften what you tell the first chick.... because she's probably scared shitless...

[kré]

the only realistic answer is murder-suicide.

[fastfood]

how about sitting down with a couple of steaming mugs of Nescafe' Blend 43 and just talking?

:D

[Cassa]

Or a botle of gin and a coathanger.

(yes I am obviously joking there)


Any way you look at it, it's a fucked situation, and it could happen to any of you so I'd like to see less passing of judgement thanks. I know it's a cliche but there is no way to know how you'd feel/react in this kind of situation until you're in it.

As for what he should do...I would have to agree with the majority in saying he should tell her that he's having doubts, but do it gently. Even if she's not pregnant it's likely the relationship will disintegrate after this kind of strain, especially if it's not strong to begin with.

I also wouldn't advocate jumping into a relationship with someone else right away, because any residual issues you have (and in this circumstance there's going to be some) can get carried to the new relationship.

[Movius]

If you make a girl pregnant i think you should marry her unless SHE wants an abortion then it doesn't matter.

Even considering going out with other girls is unethical now. He needs to find out what the results are of the test.

Even if you do think short term, imagine how craphouse it is for the girl who gets pregnant, stuck with a baby which has no father and that she may have to raise on her own. The child grows up without a father, which, although not uncommon is really fair on the child or the single mother who has to do everything herself.

Everytime you have sex thats a risk you take. Your friend took the risk now he has to live with the consequences.
Children and marriage as a form of punishment for your misdeeds? thats a recipe for a succesful family.

[stevecai]

don't have sex then. its pretty simple really.

you lose sight of the fact that its the child who hasn't done anything that loses out of this. the parent's life goes on, but the child grows up in a half-household or has parents who fight or has a mother who has to work to support him/her and do everything herself.

[fastfood]

its not that complicated really.

just buy a rifle sometime in the next nine months, then when she is about due, climb onto the roof and scan the sky for a stork carrying a bundle of what may be joy.

shoot the mutherfucker

[Cassa]

An unhappy relationship forced through 'necessity' is potentially extremely damaging for any children involved, as the entire marriage can seethe with resentment, between both partners and between parents and children. I wouldn't offer this as a good solution at all unless both parties feel like they could be happy in such a situation (marriage of force majeur).

[Movius]

don't have sex then. its pretty simple really.

you lose sight of the fact that its the child who hasn't done anything that loses out of this. the parent's life goes on, but the child grows up in a half-household or has parents who fight or has a mother who has to work to support him/her and do everything herself.
So for the "child's sake" the father and mother should stay together despite the fact that the father does not love the mother. The mother is of course incapable of leaving the father of her own volition, because she's a woman and she isn't permitted this sort of independent thought even though the father has been an absolute cunt to her behind her back and what not. Truly the child's best interests are considered here, it's obvious no fighting will result between parents.

[stevecai]

I think that if this girl gets pregnant both her and the guy are responsible. I think that when it comes to the choice of abortion its the woman's body so what she thinks is right has more weight than what the guy thinks.

Now, if you are going to have sex with someone, you obviously like them a lot, or you should. Otherwise, you really shouldn't be having sex. If you do have sex and then you fall pregnant, that is a risk you took and you have to live with the consequences of that risk.

The consequences are a child that neither parent wanted, but got anyway. What I am trying to say is that people should not have sex without considering the real risk that there will be a pregnancy - thats what sex is there for - its called reproduction.

So two people who have now become parents take a risk and now they have a child. The question is, in that circumstance, what should happen?

First of all, they have a choice as to whether to keep the child. I, as a guy, am not comfortable saying that the woman should have an abortion or adopt out the child. I think that the mother should have the ultimate choice in the matter and the father can provide input, but be supportive of that choice.

Second, assuming the child is born with the mother, I think the father still has a duty to that child. To deny the child the right to the best upbringing that can be afforded him/her is not up to the parents. By having sex, and consequently a child, they have forfeited the choice. They must now raise this child, and they have to do it together - otherwise, in the end the child suffers not the parent. They might attack eachother, or love eachother (who knows?) but the child will take the brunt of it.

I would therefore say, that if you have a child, you need to look after him/her. I think that if you are willing to have sex with someone, you should be willing to marry them, because, in the event of you having a child, that is the best outcome for the child. If you are not willing to balance the risk of a child (and subsequently a risk of marriage) as per those factors, don't have sex.

The end.

[Cassa]

What I am trying to say is that people should not have sex without considering the real risk that there will be a pregnancy - thats what sex is there for - its called reproduction.


And you're right, people shouldn't have sex if they're not prepared to deal with that risk should it become real. And in an ideal world, they wouldn't. However it rarely, if ever, happens this way, so we must deal in the world of the real as opposed to the ideal, however unsavoury the difference might be. That is why I think that marrying the girl is not always the 'right' thing to do, and is often the worst thing to do for the sake of everyone involved.

[Something Fast]

If they didn't use any form of contraception, then they shouldn't have been so stupid.
If they did, then bad luck.
I seriously don't see the point in two people staying together just because they have a child. If anything to stay together would be much worse for the child than if they weren't together. The guy can still pay child support or whatever it is.

[dozer]

they should all convert to christianity asap

[stevecai]

I believe in prevention, not cure. Cure is good, but its not the best. If people have it ingrained in their psyche that they have to marry someone they make pregnant, then they will be more careful. In fact, it should reach a level of equilibrium where people will continue to do as they wish, but accept the risks.

I think that for most people, the long term risks associated with sex are undervalued. The risks are significant. He put himself in this situation, now he needs to deal with it. By consenting to sex, he consented to this risk.

If this risk eventuates, he will have to do his darn best to be a good father. If he sees another woman or doesn't like his spouse, too bad. He has to be nice to her, and she has to be nice to him.

Of course, this is all on the assumption that she does not want an abortion or to adopt out the child.

[MisterBishi]

they should all convert to christianity asap

then do the murder-suicide thing

[MyPetMonkey]

his problem is he doens not really feel like he wants to stay with his current gf, but she may be pregnant, and this other chix0r may just want something that lasts a week......
Call the SAS or the New Zealand Warriors.... They're experts in unwanted pregnancies... So I've read.... Cheap too...


Sarcastic post. Please don't take too much offense.

[Glompbot]

If they didn't use any form of contraception, then they shouldn't have been so stupid.
If they did, then bad luck.
I seriously don't see the point in two people staying together just because they have a child. If anything to stay together would be much worse for the child than if they weren't together. The guy can still pay child support or whatever it is.


1. antibiotics render the pill useless.
2. some antibiotics can cause the condom to weaken, and yes, break.

However, doctors are supposed to tell you every time you get prescribed an antibiotic of this kind of risk.

3. 99% effective.

Look, accidents happen.
I had a friend who didn't know she was pregnant until she was 34 weeks (full term is about 40 weeks) and had an ultra sound as part of another stomach illness she has... She wasn't even showing. Size 12/14 girl, with a fairly flat stomach.

[hazza]

punch the current g.f in the stomache

[Tintin]

So is the girlfriend pregnant?

The way I see things the model is cutting two peoples' lunches, if not three. I know this comment won't help, but this all goes to show that having women will help you get women. Trophy?

[Movius]

I think that if this girl gets pregnant both her and the guy are responsible. I think that when it comes to the choice of abortion its the woman's body so what she thinks is right has more weight than what the guy thinks.

Now, if you are going to have sex with someone, you obviously like them a lot, or you should. Otherwise, you really shouldn't be having sex. If you do have sex and then you fall pregnant, that is a risk you took and you have to live with the consequences of that risk.

The consequences are a child that neither parent wanted, but got anyway. What I am trying to say is that people should not have sex without considering the real risk that there will be a pregnancy - thats what sex is there for - its called reproduction.

So two people who have now become parents take a risk and now they have a child. The question is, in that circumstance, what should happen?

First of all, they have a choice as to whether to keep the child. I, as a guy, am not comfortable saying that the woman should have an abortion or adopt out the child. I think that the mother should have the ultimate choice in the matter and the father can provide input, but be supportive of that choice.

Second, assuming the child is born with the mother, I think the father still has a duty to that child. To deny the child the right to the best upbringing that can be afforded him/her is not up to the parents. By having sex, and consequently a child, they have forfeited the choice. They must now raise this child, and they have to do it together - otherwise, in the end the child suffers not the parent. They might attack eachother, or love eachother (who knows?) but the child will take the brunt of it.

I would therefore say, that if you have a child, you need to look after him/her. I think that if you are willing to have sex with someone, you should be willing to marry them, because, in the event of you having a child, that is the best outcome for the child. If you are not willing to balance the risk of a child (and subsequently a risk of marriage) as per those factors, don't have sex.

The end.
None of your suggestions have anything to do with the best interests of the child. All they do is inflict upon mother, father and child, the ridiculous notion that the only situation to raise a child properly in is a home with a married man and woman.

[thingy]

None of your suggestions have anything to do with the best interests of the child. All they do is inflict upon mother, father and child, the ridiculous notion that the only situation to raise a child properly in is a home with a married man and woman.
And he most likely wasn't thinking about the child at the time he fucked the girl either otherwise this probably would not be such an issue.

It is not so much an issue as to what makes a proper family (married man and woman, seperated man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, man and dog etc), it is more an issue of both he and she are the ones who spawned the child, are they both going to do their utmost to support it and bring it up? They both have that obligation should the decision be made to keep the child. Ultimately he has no say in whether the child is kept or not, all he can hope to do is persuade the woman in to which ever choice he wants.

If he does not love her and does not feel he can, he should not get back with her. Being together in an unloving environment will be worse for the child than being raised by a single mother and weekend visits / monetary support from the father.

It sounds as though he jumped in to this cock first without thinking of the consequences, so as I said before he gets no sympathy from me, and here is hoping he has a long life of high child support payments.

[Chocoholic]

It sounds as though he jumped in to this cock first without thinking of the consequences, so as I said before he gets no sympathy from me, and here is hoping he has a long life of high child support payments.

Accidents happen. The world isn’t perfect and I hope to God you are never in this position Thingy but you should really get some perspective.
A few people here have offered what I consider some good advice but I think this topic is one that you don’t understand until you have been there.

[thingy]

Accidents happen. The world isn’t perfect and I hope to God you are never in this position Thingy
So do I. I know I have jumped in to things in the past that I should not have, but I am well aware that what ever happens I only have myself to blame and I would be preparing myself for exactly what I am saying should anything have had happened.

(Note: This response is mostly to point out that I am not claiming to be perfect and am well aware I am extremely far from being so, for all those who read my posts that way and think of giving me shit for being "all high and mighty").

[royale]

1. antibiotics render the pill useless.
2. some antibiotics can cause the condom to weaken, and yes, break.

However, doctors are supposed to tell you every time you get prescribed an antibiotic of this kind of risk.


1) Not useless, but "Questionable association of increased pregnancy risk (http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/health-info/womenhlt/oral-dru.html)."
2) Wow, Ive have never heard that one before, how does it happen?

[Cassa]

They can change the chemical makeup up of the mucosa and secretions in the woman's bathroom area, which can weaken the condom. It's fairly rare (for breakage to occur) but it can happen.

[RickJames]

how old is this girl who may be preggers?

[lostreality]

punch her in the stomache.

problem solved,

you will end the baby and the current g/f will dump the guy because of it.

[lostreality]

LOL i knew i would get -rep'd for that comment.

HAHAHAAAAAAAAA cheers chocoholic :p

[Glompbot]

1) Not useless, but "Questionable association of increased pregnancy risk (http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/health-info/womenhlt/oral-dru.html)."
2) Wow, Ive have never heard that one before, how does it happen?

I know far too many people who have fallen pregnant due to antibiotics... (thats how I got my neice)

and cassa got it in one.

[durus]

If you tell her the stress of the situation may cause a miscarriage which would be kind of fucked.
But if you don't tell her it may change her decision if she think's that that guy is "the one".
So he really should tell her, it's just important that how ever he does it he does it in the right way. The right way in this situation is whatever way WON'T get the girl too worked up or emotional as that could easily cause her to make an irrational decision that they will both regret later.
It is the girls body and she does have the right to make the decision. It's pretty fucked how these things work out some times.

[Chocoholic]

If you tell her the stress of the situation may cause a miscarriage which would be kind of fucked.

Actually some times this is the best thing that could happen

[geggle]

I just don't see that he can honestly think he can walk away from the fact that he is in part responsible for that child (assuming the sex was consensual, which it sounds like it was).

What that responsibility might be depends on what is best for the child. I don't advocate marrying (or defacto or whatever you want to call it) as the solution, unless both of them think that they can really make it work - in this case it doesn't sound like it is going to. The other options are single parent, adoption or abortion. If the woman is going to raise the child herself, then I think he is obliged to provide child support.

These are not simple options! There is going to be a lot of soul searching now and in the future about the decision. I wish him and her the best of luck in what is a very difficult situation.

[lostreality]

Actually some times this is the best thing that could happen


how is that different to my punch solution that you -rep'd me for?

you are still killing the baby by causing undue stress.

[Glompbot]

If simple stress causes a miscarriage then she's probably going to have a hard time carrying the baby to term anyway.

[Chocoholic]

how is that different to my punch solution that you -rep'd me for?

you are still killing the baby by causing undue stress.


Your comment was fucking stupid. Kicking a chick in the stomach isn’t necessarily going to kill her baby. Stressing a young pregnant girl …… I like the odds. 80% of all first pregnancies end in miscarriage.

So far you have added nothing to this thread except to prove that your dick should be permanently shrink wrapped.

[Tintin]

and cassa got it in one.No she didn't. I cbf going through the main reason... slightly complex pharmacokinetics. Maybe tonight.

[Cassa]

I'm not completely wrong though am I?

[Glompbot]

Well, she pretty much matched the warning on the last course of antibiotics I took.

[Holster]

A person I know left his wife when she was 14 weeks pregnant for another woman, he knew he was not in love with her before she was pregnant, therefore he took away her right to a fully informed decision (she thought she was in an emotionally and financially secure relationship). Dont let your friend let this girl make a decision based on something that is not going to happen (if she is pregnant).

The only decent thing he can do is get her to a doctor ASAP, then as soon as he knows either way, end the relationship (I only say go to the doctor first because he can end it relationship in the right way).

No one should raise a child in a loveless partnership ever!

[stevecai]

None of your suggestions have anything to do with the best interests of the child. All they do is inflict upon mother, father and child, the ridiculous notion that the only situation to raise a child properly in is a home with a married man and woman.

I am not saying that is the staple solution to the problem. I am saying that if you are willing to have sex with someone you must understand the risk that that person will become pregnant and be willing to marry them if that is the case.

If people followed that rule, then this problem would not exist. He now has an obligation, or a presumption, in favour of supporting that child and marrying the girl. If it won't work, they can step back from it, but their first attempt should be to make it work.

[Holster]

I disagree, "making it work" in the real world just doesn't work, if you don't love the mother / father of your child you need to end the partnership and work on building a friendship with that person (if you can) so you can both raise the child while separated without the child missing out (best case scenario).

[lostreality]

if she kept her legs shut then they wouldnt have anything to worry about.

and chocoholic...touched a nerve have I?

[Chocoholic]

Insensitive stupidity usually dose.

Violence against woman shouldn't be tolerated. I personally would like to see people that kick pregnant chicks in the stomach on manslaughter charges. This maybe due to a good friend being kicked by some drug addict and losing a child while working in emergency.

[Cassa]

I am not saying that is the staple solution to the problem. I am saying that if you are willing to have sex with someone you must understand the risk that that person will become pregnant and be willing to marry them if that is the case.

If people followed that rule, then this problem would not exist. He now has an obligation, or a presumption, in favour of supporting that child and marrying the girl. If it won't work, they can step back from it, but their first attempt should be to make it work.

As I said, if this were a perfect world, then that would work. But it isn't, so it doesn't. You're only asking for pain and heartache if you make idealistic decisions based on a reality that just doesn't exist.

[Merudo]

just goes to show you shouldn't operate heavy machinery when in a relationship. The two things just do not mix.

[stevecai]

I am not making an idealistic decision. I am saying that this is the way it should be, but, given that it is not, it should follow in this order:

1. Girl and Guy meet.
2. They decide to have sex, but know that sex is for reproduction and understand that if they do have a child, they should marry eachother and raise that child. It is on that basis that they have sex.
3. Girl gets pregnant
4. Girl decides (largely) what to do with child and the Guy supports her. This could be an abortion, it could be adoption or it could be raising the child. Guy has input into this (esp. if its adopting the child out and the guy wants to keep him/her).
5. If the Girl keeps the child they should first think about the child. They should endeavour to marry.
6. Failing that, and all best attempts at that, they should work out how to live such that the child knows both parents, they get along, and both parents put in time, effort and money into raising that child.
7. However, if one partner is violent or something undesirable, then there is unfortunately no choice but to have the two parents seperate, the normal one looking after the child and the psycho one paying child support.

that is what i think. its not idealistic, its realistic. a child is real, not an ideal.

[Cassa]

I don't see why they have to get married though, that's not going to change anything. They can support each other (emotionally, financially and in day-to-day life), even live together if they want to, but there's no reason to get married if they don't actually love each other.

[sapience.]

Insensitive stupidity usually dose.

Violence against woman shouldn't be tolerated. I personally would like to see people that kick pregnant chicks in the stomach on manslaughter charges. This maybe due to a good friend being kicked by some drug addict and losing a child while working in emergency.


hey everyone look at me making a lame attempt to be stupid and inflammatory

[Holster]

5. If the Girl keeps the child they should first think about the child. They should endeavour to marry.

No, not unless they are both ready for marriage and are in love.

Why do we need to follow some moral view from the past?

There is nothing wrong with choosing to be a (good) single parent, and no one should ever be pushed into marriage under any circumstances.

[stevecai]

No, not unless they are both ready for marriage and are in love.

Why do we need to follow some moral view from the past?

There is nothing wrong with choosing to be a (good) single parent, and no one should ever be pushed into marriage under any circumstances.

Taking one small part of what I wrote in isolation will of course make it sound unworkable and subject to arguments such as "but they don't love eachother" and "why would a child want to grow up with two parents who fight?" etc. That is not what I mean.

My answer would be look at point 2:

" 2. They decide to have sex, but know that sex is for reproduction and understand that if they do have a child, they should marry eachother and raise that child. It is on that basis that they have sex."

If they are in the scenario you are describing ie they are neither ready for marriage nor in love then they should not have sex. The answer to point 2 would be "they are not willing to take the risk of marriage, thus no sex".

Its pretty simple really. Everyone keeps taking out that small point about how they should not marry if they don't love eachother in isolation of everything else. Heck, I agree with that as a concept on its own, but when you look at all the steps together, I don't think its unreasonable.

[Holster]

My answer would be look at point 2:

" 2. They decide to have sex, but know that sex is for reproduction and understand that if they do have a child, they should marry eachother and raise that child. It is on that basis that they have sex."

If they are in the scenario you are describing ie they are neither ready for marriage nor in love then they should not have sex. The answer to point 2 would be "they are not willing to take the risk of marriage, thus no sex".

Its pretty simple really. Everyone keeps taking out that small point about how they should not marry if they don't love eachother in isolation of everything else. Heck, I agree with that as a concept on its own, but when you look at all the steps together, I don't think its unreasonable.

Again with the morals from the past, why should I wait until I‘m married, or with someone I am ready to marry before I have sex with them?

My point is marriage has nothing to do with it, people shouldn't be having sex until they are ready to bear the responsibilities of a pregnancy if an accident should happen.

[stevecai]

I agree with you totally. People should not have sex until they are ready to bear the responsibility of pregnancy.

Its not about morals of the past. Its about thinking about the potential child. Don't you think that a child is better off in a loving family with two parents than one who is in a single parent household? Even still, I would argue that a single parent is just as capable, but think about it this way. As a matter of personal preference would you rather grow up with two loving parents or one?

I think most people would say two, even though they would think one loving parent is good enough too. Afford the child the same courtesy.

[Cassa]

That works if both parents love each other and the child. That's precisely one of the things being debated in this thread. The guy doesn't love the girl and was thinking of leaving her. Do you think that's a good candidate for a healthy loving family? I certainly don't.

[Merudo]

removed, to stay on topic :fart:

[stevecai]

In the case of this particular guy they are at the following stages:

"5. If the Girl keeps the child they should first think about the child. They should endeavour to marry.
6. Failing that, and all best attempts at that, they should work out how to live such that the child knows both parents, they get along, and both parents put in time, effort and money into raising that child.
7. However, if one partner is violent or something undesirable, then there is unfortunately no choice but to have the two parents seperate, the normal one looking after the child and the psycho one paying child support."

Apply that to the circumstances. That means start off by looking at marriage and if that is not feasible because they don't like eachother at all then go to the next stage. They must like eachother a LITTLE BIT in order for them to have had sex to start with.

[Cassa]

People change, and so do their feelings. Remember, these kids are only 17. For most of us, the partners we had at 17 are not people we'd want to spend the rest of our lives with, and we may have even thought that at the time. True, they probably did care about each other, maybe substantially, at some point, but that doesn't appear to be the case any more. I still don't think marriage needs to have anything to do with it, but they can make a committment to support each other if she keeps the baby, if they both feel they can do that.

[Merudo]

cue old post retype

Exactly. I understand your point of view Steve, but must they marry? They can be together and raise a child in a happy family and not be married... It's merely a custom. Because as Cassa has said, "the partners we had at 17 are not people we'd want to spend the rest of our lives with", so instead of dwelling on the whole "well, you fucked up, you got a kid now", instead, move on, move forward, and if they do decide to keep the kid (IF she is even pregnant?!) then go from there. A stress-free non binding relationship which anyone can leave without disruption and stress for all involved (including the child) is just a better solution for everyone. Because that way, if the relationship does or is going awry, it can be more cleanly fixed up and then the child continues to prosper with (hopefully) contact with both parents....

Cass has hit the nail on the head.

[RickJames]

17? Hardly ready to be a parent who can give the child a decent life, specially with no father.
IF she is preggers she should abort till she grows up a bit more and finds a decent guy who really loves her and so her parents dont end up with the financial burden of supporting a childs child.

What was i saying?....... meh.

(that was probaly all said in here already and i have missed it somewhere but i dont care cause i cant be bothered reading it all again.)

[Holster]

I would like to disagree with this also, with the right mind set a 17yr old can raise a child well.
And it may suprise you to know that just because a woman has a child in her teens does not mean that she will live off her parents.

[Cassa]

Holster is right with this one...the right person can raise a child from a young age and can do it on their own if they are committed (that's not to say it's easy though). Anyway, the question is not whether she should keep the baby, but where the relationship should go from here.

[ezer]

holey shit, cassa hit it perfectly in like almost all of her points, they are in fact both 17, and they did use contraceptives (im told if it broke then they used a morning after pill.... anyway, update

he like "dumped" her last night, buty as he was doing ti she was still talking to me on msn, and today she was still talking to me, didnt seem too sad, i dont really see how she could be preggy, i know both of them and they arent idiots.

NEXT - he has a part time job, - great chance for marrige, looking to join defence force not next year but year after, i dont know her plans, but he HAD put up the money if she was and wanted an abortion, he had it there,

lastly, hes seeing the model chick on saturday......... damn, she seems hot.... (i only seen 1 pic though)

[RickJames]

You seemed to be obsessed by this "model" hahahaha.

Models are very overated.

And Cassa and Holster your both right a 17yr old can bring up a kid and also without parent help but the help would more than likely be from the tax payer.
obvisouly i have a different perspective/values and have a much brighter outlook for a child when i finally have one.
We all have our own oppinions so i am not shooting anyone down, just i wouldnt bring a kid up in a situation where the mother and/or father are scraping for money.

Well glad it all worked out lol hahahahahaha...

[Cassa]

Advise him to tread with caution with this new girl, he might be feeling alright and such but he's probably got a few issues to deal with now.

[ezer]

oi cassa you seem really correct, you wanna ring him and actually tell him this shit to his ear, pm if you want to,

but he was saying that things wernt perfect b4 the scare...

[Cassa]

Hmm, maybe I should seriously consider my plan of being a counsellor

[geggle]

I don't mean to be mean.... but in the light of ezer's comments above regarding the girl's behaviour after being "dumped", is it perhaps possible that this might be the honey I'm pregnant, now do you really love me test?

I know it's a mean thought, but they are young and it did occur to me...

[Glompbot]

So... you're saying that because I never want to have children, i'm not allowed to have sex?

fuck off.

[Cassa]

I don't think it's that as such..it's more, are you prepared for the possibility of becoming pregnant? If you are, and you're prepared to deal with it in your chosen manner, then it's not an issue. You're a financially independent 21 year old, which is quite different to a girl who's still in school.

[thingy]

I cannot speak for stevecai, but as long as you are prepared to make the decision of raising the child or not, and as long as you are prepaired to raise it or go through the requirements for an abortion (which ever you choose) it is ok. I would prefer if people did not do it with the abortion option as a safety and were actually prepared to raise the child or do the best for it should it be conceived.

For a male it is a different issue and can be argued to be somewhat worse as ultimately they do not have a say in whether the child gets born or aborted, and hence should always be willing to accept the responsibility of child support at the very least.

The biggest problem with the debate given here was the lack of input from ezer so everyone commenting could only guess as to the commitment, maturity and mindset of those involved so good advice was very hard to give. This is why it turned into a bit of a shitfight and a lot of irrelivant comments from a lot of people due to not knowing very much on the situation/people.

[Holster]

You seemed to be obsessed by this "model" hahahaha.

Models are very overated.

And Cassa and Holster your both right a 17yr old can bring up a kid and also without parent help but the help would more than likely be from the tax payer.
obvisouly i have a different perspective/values and have a much brighter outlook for a child when i finally have one.
We all have our own oppinions so i am not shooting anyone down, just i wouldnt bring a kid up in a situation where the mother and/or father are scraping for money.

Well glad it all worked out lol hahahahahaha...


I had my son when I was 17.
I was studying full time for only two years of that (getting benifits)
I provide for my son well, and I have a good job. And he has grown up in a loving and supporting enviroment.

Not all young single parents are dole bludgers

[stevecai]

I would never say single-parents are not as capable as looking after children as two parents are. In fact, I would argue that in many cases, single parents put a lot of focus on making sure their child(ren) are happy and are subsequently better parents than families iwth two parents.

My major point is simple - if you are willing to accept the risk of children, then have sex. But really, you apply the same standard when you have sex with someone as you would in choosing who you would want to have children with.

Usually a person would only have children with someone they wanted to marry or did marry.

If you don't want to have children, that doesn't preclude you from having sex just realise sex is there for REPRODUCTION so if you have a child, you must raise it and be mindful that you run the risk of having that child.

[ezer]

thingy, beleive it or not i couldnt get online for the gap where people started elaborating so much.....

well it seems all good.....

[thingy]

thingy, beleive it or not i couldnt get online for the gap where people started elaborating so much.....

well it seems all good.....
I was not having a go at you, I was actually making excuses for the rest of us. :)

[CMYK]

[QUOTE=stevecai]Everything he said[QUOTE]


Thank you, Fred Nile.

Who let the Family First party in here?

[diggy]

My major point is simple - if you are willing to accept the risk of children, then have sex. But really, you apply the same standard when you have sex with someone as you would in choosing who you would want to have children with.

Usually a person would only have children with someone they wanted to marry or did marry.

So you're saying that whenever I have sex with someone, I should be thinking of children? Whatever happened to having sex for pleasure or intimacy without the burden of stressing about kids?

[stevecai]

[QUOTE=stevecai]Everything he said[QUOTE]


Thank you, Fred Nile.

Who let the Family First party in here?

I find that quite offensive actually, and I think that was an inappropriate comment. I am not some conservative fuckwit. I am pro-women's rights and thats why I support these things. I think that men don't take responsibility for the shit that they cause and the woman can't run away with it because she has a fucking child growing in her body. What can she do? Nobody can dispute the mother of a child, but anyone can dispute the father. The child comes out of the fucking mother and if she gets ditched by some fuckwit who just wanted a quick root she has to choose between three shit options:

1. An abortion. I support the right to abortion but there are studies out there that show it can cause depression in women. Its fucked. The man feels nothing

2. Adoption. So someone else raises her son/daughter

3. Raise the child alone. Did you know the NSW laws are really specific on who is assumed the father? You need to be cohabiting or in a relationship. If its a quick fuck, that doesn't count as the the father under the law.

Thats why I think people should only have sex if they are willing to marry. I think its fucked that women bear a disproportionate amount of the risk given both the male and the female consent to intercourse equally.

You are a total asswipe CMYK. You should go join family first and vote for fred nile. Then you can fuck whoever you want and take the moral highground and claim the woman is the one who is impure. Fuckwit.

[Cassa]

Knock it off.

I personally don't agree with some of your views Steve but I've no problem with you expressing them. I do have a problem with you throwing abuse at people, and I don't care who started it, you're keeping it going. I'll lock the thread if there's any more of this.

[stevecai]

i am sorry i shouldn't have replied as fast as i did after reading your response CMYK. i was really offended, but i also overreacted and i apologise for that.

[Cassa]

No need to apologise, just don't do it :)

[dozer]

people should only have sex if they are willing to marry

your grasp on reality is firm