jealous / jealousy streaks

[RaZ]

Just wondering how many involved with someone have a streak in you that makes you a little jealous and / or extra protective over someone you care / love ??

:p

[Lord_Phat]

anyone touches/looks at/speaks to movis will be killed :fag:

[Chocoholic]

I have a very strange view on this… I think being jealous is a waste of time. You either decided to be with me or you don’t. I don’t want to be with some one who doesn’t appreciate me the in the way I deserve.

[StygiaN]

I think everyone gets jealous at some point or time, it's what you do with those feelings that decide the kind of person you are.

[Cassa]

I replace jealousy over other people with insecurity about myself. It's not really a good trade, I can tell you.

[Megabyte]

I replace jealousy over other people with insecurity about myself. It's not really a good trade, I can tell you.
I empathise with that one whole-heartedly. I do the same.

[dwarfthrower]

I'm not a jealous person... but protective of my family like a wild animal of some sort.

Anything that even looks like threatening my kids or Mrs Dwarfthrower will find itself dismembered in short order.

[imp]

I tend to do what Cassa does although I'm firmly having that shaken out of me at the moment.... slowly but surely. I tend not to be so bothered about it anymore...... I know he loves me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me..... plus he's really good for my self-esteem.

astro is quite protective/jealous of me. It's sweet. :)

[StygiaN]

If you did the same you would be sympathizing Meg ;) Empathy and Sympathy are slightly different, empathy is understanding how someone feels, sympathy is knowing how they feel (I think, don't cut me down if I am wrong please).

:) :)

[Cassa]

Empathising is right Stygian. That means you know how someone feels, as opposed to just saying you're sorry they feel something (sympathising).

[Megabyte]

If you did the same you would be sympathizing Meg ;) Empathy and Sympathy are slightly different, empathy is understanding how someone feels, sympathy is knowing how they feel (I think, don't cut me down if I am wrong please).

:) :)
No, empathise is the word I wanted. :p

[SamBo]

Just wondering how many involved with someone have a streak in you that makes you a little jealous and / or extra protective over someone you care / love ??

:p
Nope, never get jealous at all. Never over protective. I will protect my partner if needs be, but that need has never come.

We have this thing called trust. I'm not trying to brag here or anything, but I often have girls come talk to me and I talk back. so what? I make sure there is no misleading behavoir happening and at the end no one gets hurt. I'm sure my partner talks to guys alot too. I trust her. i know she's not going to run off with someone else, she knows I'm not going to run off with someone else.

If there's no trust, then there's no relationship.

I think some people delibratly try to make their partners jealous. I guess they see it as the only way to get attention. Doing things like talking about how many partners they've had in the past, or talking about how easily they can pick up... shit like that is wrong and no one wants to hear that sort of thing. I don't see how it could be necessary to say things like that, unless there is a problem with the relationship in the first place.

[StygiaN]

Oh, that's different to what I learnt. Looks like I need a trip to dictionary.com

I could have sworn it was the other way around though Cassa. Hmmm, interesting.

ps. Sambo is a pillar of relationship wisdom. I salute you!

[Megabyte]

Oh, that's different to what I learnt. Looks like I need a trip to dictionary.com

I could have sworn it was the other way around though Cassa. Hmmm, interesting.

ps. Sambo is a pillar of relationship wisdom. I salute you!
Well this is what I was taught in high school, but I do believe that it's one of those things where depending on which country's english you use, they can swap around. But as mentioned, I've always known it to be the way Cassa described it. Oh well, you understood what I meant anyway and that is all that matters right now. :)

[Reprobate]

I'm not a jealous person... but protective of my family like a wild animal of some sort.

Anything that even looks like threatening my kids or Mrs Dwarfthrower will find itself dismembered in short order.


you know, pugs aren't all that wild an animal.

:D

[RickJames]

Yer i used to share Sambo's views..... till the slut fucked one of the guys she was "talking to".

Now its hard not to be a little jealous in new relationships :)

[dwarfthrower]

you know, pugs aren't all that wild an animal.

:D

You've obviously never seen one cornered by a guinnea pig.

[RaZ]

We have this thing called trust.
If there's no trust, then there's no relationship.

Yeah that pretty much sums it all up.
I guess there are times.... warranted or not where I will sit back and question due to past times and mis-trust's.

Personally I can get very protective. Kinda like getting flashs of what can be done if you were mad enough... like in natural born killers at the start in the diner.... :p

The jealous part is probly where you know there is better then you around (As there always is) and the second part is having something taken from you.
I guess I am more the second part... again due to past things but enough to make me wanan fight tooth and nail for everything I have.

But intresting reading all ya comments :) keep'em coming

[imp]

Yeah It's hard once you get burnt to trust again. I've been cheated on a few times and It wasn't very nice but I can't let that stop me from trusting again. I'll never be happy otherwise. :)

Sambo's pretty much on the money there with his comment.

[BtrFly]

Trust is an easy thing to gain once, but once lost its hard to get back.

As for saying things while within a relationship, some things are said because of insecurity. Some people require attention.

I trust whomever I am with, however I used to be a lot worse than I am now. I have trust issues these days, so I tend to be very guarded and dont let myself get too attached, because realistically, I am probably going to get hurt. So these days, no not jealous.

We are all a creature of our own (and others) creation. Jealousy can just be part of that.

[Necron]

I get extremely jealous and a little protective over my girlfriend (She is the type who likes to hug everyone). I trust her but I think that my insecurities about myself really drive me to become jealous. But on the same token, I really want this relationship to work out and I really think that this is the girl that I will eventually marry so I guess being jealous comes with the job.

[Aardvark]

I once went out with a girl who would do anything she could to make me jealous. Her first problem was she was cute when she was angry, so the madder she got with me, the more I'd giggle. Which would make her madder still, which would make her giggle more and so on and so forth until one of us decided fuck this, let's fuck.

Her second problem was that I never get jealous. Ever.

One time I met one of her ex's, 'cause he worked with her brother.

Her Ex: "You treat her right or I'm coming back and taking her"

My Ex: "Yeah"

Me: "Fuck it, you can have her"

Yeah, I receieved a savage beating from her, but we were together a couple more months 'til I decided I hated her guts

[SamBo]

I get extremely jealous and a little protective over my girlfriend (She is the type who likes to hug everyone)..
My girlfriend likes to hug people. I don't get jealous at all though as she always gives me the best hugs.
besides, most of the people she hugs are girls, and I like to watch that ;)

[rin]

i think a relationship is not complete unless there is trust. i know i would like my partner to be able trust me completely, so i also trust them completely.

i have been cheated on once and of course the relationship ended . i was also with someone who had cheated on a previous girlfriend - yes, i was disappointed when i found out, but i trusted him regardless while he was with me.

i also have more male friends than female friends and have discussed this with my partner. i am an affectionate person, but my friends know we just have a "friendship" so it is never taken the wrong way. my partner is also aware of this, and he is comfortable with that.

i have no problems at all trusting my current partner. he has plenty of male/female friends, some of which he is close to, and i am comfortable with that :D i know he wants to be with me and that's all that matters :D we communicate very well, so i am never ever doubting this - i always feel secure. i know (trust) that he will talk to me about any issues he has/may have with our relationship.

[Lord_Phat]

everyone is talking about trust in their partner, but neglecting that booze and drugs can often chisel away at a persons sense of what is right, and there are many willing to ply those the desire with such to take advantage of them...

whilst trusting your partner is obviously of paramount importance, so is having a level of trust of those who evidently desire them or seem to hang around a bunch :)

[Merudo]

good point. if you trust your partner, but not your partners friends, who's to say one of them won't take advantage of your partner at a given time of weakness?

:/

[imp]

everyone is talking about trust in their partner, but neglecting that booze and drugs can often chisel away at a persons sense of what is right, and there are many willing to ply those the desire with such to take advantage of them...

whilst trusting your partner is obviously of paramount importance, so is having a level of trust of those who evidently desire them or seem to hang around a bunch :)
This is true Lord Phat but in the end is being jealous going to stop this from happening?
I'll be away at NYE this year. I'll be drinking and I assume astro will too. it's a big party time and a lot of people get lucky that night, do wild things etc etc but I still have faith that the people he's going to hang around know me and him enough to respect that we are together and not even think about that sort of a cunt act. Excuse the pun ;)

I used to have a friend of mine who did that sort of thing. She'd prey on her mates boyfriends, get them drunk and slut herself all over them. In the end she was the one that ended up looking cheap..... plus you have to be pretty damn drunk to not know what's going on in that regard or even to just not know it's wrong. I hope that makes sense

[Necron]

whilst trusting your partner is obviously of paramount importance, so is having a level of trust of those who evidently desire them or seem to hang around a bunch :)

My girlfriend had this happen to her whilst with me. This was at his 20th, I just arrived to pick her up and he had her in a corner and was trying to come onto her. I beat him senseless and left him humiliated and bloody at his own party.

[Necron]

Also, the reason that I have been having problems with this relationship of late is because of Alchohol... More specifically me getting drunk after a fight and sleeping with someone that I have fancied for a while. Luckily my girl is very accepting and understanding even though I prolly dont deserve it.

[RaZ]

booze and drugs can often chisel away at a persons sense of what is right, and there are many willing to ply those the desire with such to take advantage of them...whilst trusting your partner is obviously of paramount importance, so is having a level of trust of those who evidently desire them or seem to hang around a bunch :)

Farkin good point !!! sometimes the mis-trust ain't so much with you're SO but with others that may know them!! Even tho the saying goes, it takes two to tango it should never start in the first place.

[Lina]

I think jealousy has a lot to do with self-esteem. As a younger Lina I got fairly jealous, don't anymore, though. It's a bloody waste of time. If there was something obvious going on with my partner and someone else jealousy wouldn't be a part of my reaction. Finding out what's going on would be a main priority and then getting my arse out of there a second, if necessary. My partner is a natural flirt, as am I. Which, in my opinion, is entirely healthy. Finding other people attractive is hardly a crime.

[imp]

Exactly. It's never just one person's fault..... both are to blame.

[Cassa]

Lina is quite correct. If you have low self esteem and are insecure, you'd be much more likely to think that shenanigans might go on, which would lead to either jealously or apathy, neither of which is healthy in anything more than a small dose (speaking from experience :()

[BtrFly]

Apathy should be another thread. cos thats where i am right now...

But i agree - Lina and Cassa are both right. It takes a stronger person than the average to not be jealous. Its just how much thats the case...

[Necron]

Exactly. It's never just one person's fault..... both are to blame.

I agree, but we are only human after all. Perfection is NOT within our nature.

[imp]

Pft. I'm perfect.

[Lord_Phat]

This is true Lord Phat but in the end is being jealous going to stop this from happening?

jealously creates far more problems... it will never solve a situation... i suppose i wasn't referring to jealousy, but being aware of the lines that trust provide and how they can be broken :)

[imp]

Ahhhh ok I see :) I get so confused sometimes.

[Necron]

Pft. I'm perfect.

And Ive got a 17" cock.

[Blink]

I used to get jealous when I was about 18 or so, but as a few people have pointed out I think it was more about my own insecurities. After one ex put my heart in a blender and hit the "puree" button, I just decided "fuck it" someone either wants to be with me or not. If not, that's fine - they miss out on something special.

My wife is pretty good too, she only gets a little bit jealous, mostly when I'm going out with about a dozen girls from work, most of which are very good looking. And then it's only like "can I come too?" to which I always say "yes". Besides, all the girls from work like her and would slap me silly if I was trying it on with another girl.

I also seem to have missed out on the gene that makes some guys go after anything with a heartbeat and a pair of tits after 6 pints...even when I'm absolutely trashed I never seem to try it on with any girls...or so they tell me anyway ;)

[imp]

And Ive got a 17" cock.
You're so good at this sarcasm thing :D

[SamBo]

Personally, I think drugs/alcohol is a pretty piss (excuse the pun) poor excuse for cheating on someone.
Anyone with half a brain should be able to see when someone is purposely trying to get them drunk, and then stop and wonder why it is that that person is trying to get them like that. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that in most cases, if someone is trying to get you wasted it is so they can in some way take advantage of you when ordinarily they wouldn't be able to. So the "it takes two to tango" thing still applies in these scenarios as far as I am concerned.

[Necron]

Personally, I think drugs/alcohol is a pretty piss (excuse the pun) poor excuse for cheating on someone.

I hate myself for what I did and I know that my girl is going to be less trusting of me because of it. I deserve as much though.

But Sambo, what about party drugs or pass outs?.

[Lord_Phat]

Personally, I think drugs/alcohol is a pretty piss (excuse the pun) poor excuse for cheating on someone.
Anyone with half a brain should be able to see when someone is purposely trying to get them drunk, and then stop and wonder why it is that that person is trying to get them like that. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that in most cases, if someone is trying to get you wasted it is so they can in some way take advantage of you when ordinarily they wouldn't be able to. So the "it takes two to tango" thing still applies in these scenarios as far as I am concerned.

of course it is a piss poor excuse... it doesn't stop it being a reality for many people...

can say i've woken up a few sunday mornings being at least a bit embarassed by my behaviour the night before :banana:

[SamBo]

I hate myself for what I did and I know that my girl is going to be less trusting of me because of it. I deserve as much though.

But Sambo, what about party drugs or pass outs?.
she's a top girl for forgiving you mate, but if you do the right thing she will trust you again... eventually.

As for party drugs, if you take them then you should be responsible for your actions while under the influence of them (its not like you don't know they are going to effect your judgement or anything!).
As for pass outs, well, i think that's a bit different. If you pass out and someone takes advantage of you, it's more that other person's fault. But at the same time, if you allow yourself to get like that then you are partly to blame. I wouldn't consider that as cheating though, but, if my partner was someone who abused substances like that, then i wouldn't be sticking around for long

[Necron]

she's a top girl for forgiving you mate, but if you do the right thing she will trust you again... eventually.

but, if my partner was someone who abused substances like that, then i wouldn't be sticking around for long

Sorry for the confusion but I meant drink spiking not party drugs, someone who for all intents and purposes only wanted to have a 'light drink but ends up drugfucked.. BTW I have never done party drugs and have never drank so much that I passed out. My girl doesnt do drugs but loved the drink.

This train is WAY off track...

[RaZ]

I think Lina said it best to sum it all up that "I think jealousy has a lot to do with self-esteem." Altho this may not always be the case, I would think its about 99% of all cases in some way or another.

With myself... I would have to agree with Lina as well.... but on the other hand I have always been protective and more worried about other guys then the girl I have been with mainly coz there are SOME guys that are out right pricks and will hit on you're girl even tho they know you're with them.

Of course it will come down to past experinces as well. mmmm, I guess lots of things can factor in to jelousy. I found it intresting that Necron was the only one where he had caught someone in the act... personally, I pray that it never happens to me coz I doubt the guy would live! I think I'd get so mad I wouldn't know what I was doing.

But then again, I think everyone would get mad at that kind of site !!

[metalhed00]

You either decided to be with me or you don’t. I don’t want to be with some one who doesn’t appreciate me the in the way I deserve.

Chocoholic said it best way in the beginning of this thread. People need to accept people as how they are. I've had quite a few girlfriends tell me how they like my fuck-off attitude towards people, yet when I show it to them, they try to change me. I say to them, why did you like me for who I am, but you're trying to change me now for being myself in front of you?

Right now, girls are on my shit list. All they do is play mind games and you could give them the world and they will still find something you haven't done, but when you ask them for something (like being on time ;)) they make it seem like you're asking them to solve the world's problems. My problem is that I am too much like myself, I guess.

Now I'm pissed, lonely and thinking about my ex. Jealousy: its human nature.

[Glompbot]

I am the jealous type.
I guess its never helped that every time I've been jealous of someone... i was right in my suspicions that whoever i was dating at the time cheated on me with that person.*

I sometimes think i'm too paranoid, but given that kind of track record... it comes to a question of... do i trust my instinct, or other dirty filthy lying humans? With a score of instinct = lots, and humans = 1.... I'm going to stick with instinct. (I don't generally make accusations until I have proof of some kind though... because yes, i know i am paranoid and jealous and maybe i am just being paranoid and jealous...)

*There has been one instance when I was wrong. Well... where I believed the person enough to trust that they were telling the truth.

[stevecai]

i am definitely the jealous/protective type and i don't know how to get rid of it.

[Something Fast]

I'm never jealous, but I am incredibly protective of the woman I love. Basically, I don't have a problem if another guy flirts with her, because I can understand that. I don't get hung up if she mock flirts with other guys, because I trust her. However, God help you if you if you should treat her like nothing more than a sex object, because then I'd be bursting through your window at 3am with an axe. That could be seen to be a type of jealousy, but it's more about if a guy doesn't treat the woman I love with the respect she deserves. If a guy flirts with her, my lady love tells him to stop, and the guy keeps flirting, he's going to end up a hundred grams lighter, and a few inches shorter where it counts...

I must admit though, there was a time when I didn't feel jealous, but more shit scared that I'd be left for another guy, mainly because he was better than me in just about every respect...

[topgun]

im a very jealous person myself and it causes lots ov problems at the and even tiers

[slacker]

hmm.. so much has been discussed here, i dont know if i have any new input that fits in. but i will say that this is an issue that directly relates to me, because i will admit to being the jealous/protective type.

i think i can safely say that it is partly because of my insecurity. i mean, lets face it - there will always be someone better than you. i guess i havent quite learned how to deal with that, yet. but more importantly, i am definitely jealous/protective due to the lack of trust in my previous relationship. to put it bluntly, looking back i dont think there was any. whether or not the lack of trust was my fault of hers, i dont know and may not ever know. i think it would be human instinct to put the blame on her, because thats the easy way out, but i also cant help but think i may be partly responsible in some if not many areas. *sigh* too complicated.

i guess i agree with the general word going in the thread though, that without trust there isnt a relationship.

[stevecai]

how do you know there will always be someone better than you? if you apply that logic there is someone out there who is better than everyone else - and who knows, it might be you.

(I mean, you are talking about being the best for a particular type of woman too, which makes it easier)

[sharpie]

if you want to look you can always find someone better than yourself
be it better looking, better job, richer, smarter.. the list is endless
it all comes down to how secure you are within yourself and your relationship

if the other person loves you.. then those differences will count for nothing...
if they dont.. then their not worth worrying over

and dont forget.. if all else fails then a baseball bat fixes the better looking, better car and their job all in the one go :D

[haiironezumi]

Unforunately I suffer from a low enough self esteem that I get clingy in relationships, and then I have problems with jealousy/insecurity when the girl starts talking to someone else. Hence the not having a gf right now sort of thing.