Some advice on a fucked up situation please....

[excalibur]

This is my current situation that I am seeking advice from all the wise geeks about. I currently have the choice between 2 ladies, both of whom I work with.

One of them I have a connection with, we email on a regular basis, have great fun when we are at work together, She also calls me darling and sweetie all the time and doesn't say the same about anyone else. Her and I keep talking about going out for drinks, but whenever I say "what about day "X" for those drinks", I don't get replies to my emails, and the only time I have had the opportunity to ask in person, she couldn't, because she was having her P's test first thing the next morning, and didn't want to be hung over. Whenever I send an email not asking about going out for those drinks that she suggested we go for, I get a reply within a few hours. Does anyone have any advice on WTF might be the go?? Could she be regretting saying we should go for drinks, and is avoiding me?

The other girl looks like she's about 22, but, as I found out yesterday, is actually 28 (8 years my senior). She lives up near the Zwood railway station, and I live about 1/2 way between work and the station. We often walk from work together on the days we finish at the same time, and there is something telling me that she want's to "make something of it" just by the way she acts with me, like going that extra little bit to make physical contact, and the way she speaks to me. I just don't have the same connection with this girl that I do with the first one, but this one is more of a sure thing.

What should I do??

[Deimos]

It seems quite clear to me that you should persist with the first girl. If you have a connection with her and not the other then that is what I would go for. If she is not replying to your emails then perhaps suggest something other than drinks, perhaps lunch or something. If you show that you are interested then she should either make something of it or stop leading you on if she isn't interested. If you find out that she isn't interested then perhaps go for the older woman (coz that can be fun) and see what comes of it.

[s3raph]

Def the first girl. Don't be starting something up with another girl, you'll just end up making more problems for yourself.
As for the drinks situation I can only say that you need to properly ask her out IN PERSON after ascertaining whether or not she is able to. That way you can work out once and for all if she's interested. If she isn't then no biggie, you can just go for girl number two, but resolve things with girl one first.

[excalibur]

As for the drinks situation I can only say that you need to properly ask her out IN PERSON after ascertaining whether or not she is able to.

I have tried to, but when the only method of communication witha person you have is email, it limits your options somewhat. It appears she is working on Sunday. I think i will head down to work to get booze, and see what she's up to after work.

[STallingU]

Ask the first girl for her phone number. Then give her a call. Don't sms because its not personal its just like an email. But if she doesnt give you her number then you know where you stand.

[HAL]

I vote you catch both of these waves and ride them to their wild unpredictable end. Even if you do fall off on them, Whats the problem? Get back out there and catch another!

[landmachine]

pfft, if a martin is frothing for you, she'll catapult herself at you. you won't have any of this indecision and unsureness. what's more likely is that they're not interested in you, and you have to go find someone else to fuck.

[gooey]

first girl isnt interested in you - she thinks you are sweet, but probably wouldnt stick your balls in her mouth. the connection shit is all in your head - have you ever said to her - "i think we have a connection"?

go for the second - like you say, its more of a sure thing

[The Cunt]

Which one has the bigger boobies?

[Reprobate]

Go for the 28 year old that looks 22.

By the time she's 40 she'll still look a spritely 29 or 30 years of age.

Young looking but experience. I hope you give me plenty of rep for this advice when she hits her 40's and her sex drive goes through the roof and she goes off like a frog in a sock.

Providing of course the rep system and zgeek are still around.

it could be Zgeezer.com by then.

[SamBo]

I reckon the first one is either shy or not as interested as you believe. The fact that she replies to most emails straight away, but takes ages to reply to the going out ones should tell you that. I doubt it's just a coincidence... If she wont give you her number, then i'd say she isn't really interested.

so yeah, i reckon go the older woman. Who cares about age? If you hit it off, age shouldn't make a difference (unless there is a ridiculously big age gap, but in this case there isn't really).

good luck dude :)

[hazza]

fuck em both and tell them to get snowballing.

if they dont like that idea just rape them.



words of wisdom

[Cassa]

I think with the first one you are probably seeing things that aren't really there. I personally can vouch for the email thing because I've done it myself - not replying to the ones that are slightly more than friendly banter (yeah ok it's not a nice thing to do, I know that) in the hopes that the other person might pick up the hint. Maybe that's not how it is but from the way you describe it, it sounds like it could be.

Is it possible that you're rejecting the idea of any kind of connection with the other girl because of the first one? I say give things a bit of a nudge with the second girl and leave the first one be for a while - you'll soon know who's interested and who isn't.

[Aardvark]

There's no sure fire way to figure things out. So just wing it. Play things by ear and see what happens

Or go into management. Chicks dig managers who aren't total fuckpeas

[excalibur]

The main problem with the second girl is I just dont really find her attractive. She's good looking, but Asian girls aren't my thing (no offence to asian people, just a personal taste thing) I can only make out every second word she says because she has a very heavy accent and I like to be able to understand what someone is saying.

What confuses the shit out of me with the first girl is, Why would she suggest we go out for drinks if she wasn't interested?? This is just furthering my belief that all women are fucked in the head.

[dozer]

This is just furthering my belief that all women are fucked in the head.

this is mostly correct.


ditch the first and grab the YAP, maybe the first will get jealous and then you get her, both = win.

[rascuache]

First girl aint interested...at all
Drinks was a get to know you ploy and she is sorry she suggested it now
Stop seeing thats that arent there
sorry to be abrupt but it had to be said

second girls sounds nice, so what if she's asian
you know about the wild sex they get up to?????

[Merudo]

What confuses the shit out of me with the first girl is, Why would she suggest we go out for drinks if she wasn't interested??


yeah, its not like at that point she just wanted to have a drink with a friend, but then saw you taking it too far and thought *whooa, back off a bit* and now doesnt want to give you the wrong impression, huh?

cause it sure seems you've got the wrong impression, from my armchair critic point of view.




ps: i rule

[Afro88]

this is mostly correct.


ditch the first and grab the YAP, maybe the first will get jealous and then you get her, both = win.

Haha, that's what I thought! If you go for the 2nd chick, the true feelings of the 1st will come out. Either she is playing some weird chicks mind game and she likes you and will show it through jealousy when you go for the 2nd, or she doesn't want you and won't care if you go for the 2nd. The problem with this is that if the 1st chick likes you then you've already blown your chance by going out with the 2nd. Sure you won't go out with the 2nd girl, but at least you get to find out the truth, right....? /misses the point

By the way, Asian chicks = hot :flame:

[Glompbot]

I agree, first girl isn't interested and she's sorry she suggested it.

[stevecai]

i think the general consensus here reflects my opinion perfectly. I'll just say that you shouldn't think about it too much or you'll get obsessed and more in love with the first one as you build every slight nuance into something bigger than it really is (or something that it isn't).

I reckon that the first girl to you now is much better than she really is as a result of you building her up in your mind. If you don't like the second girl, don't go out with her. its not like you have to pick one of the two.

[The Cunt]

The main problem with the second girl is I just dont really find her attractive. She's good looking, but Asian girls aren't my thing (no offence to asian people, just a personal taste thing) I can only make out every second word she says because she has a very heavy accent and I like to be able to understand what someone is saying.


it would have been good if you had given us this information in the first place.

i say the second one will lose 'who has the bigger boobies' competition. but she is Asian. so that doesn't matter anymore.

by the time she's 40 she'll STILL look like she's 22.

and subservient.

hook up with her. who cares if you can't understand every second word.

and if you don't, then direct her to zgeek. but delete this thread first.

[Aardvark]

Nah, asian women age badly

Well, wierdly

Until they're 25, they look 15. Once they hit 26, they're mid thirties and if they hit 30, they look 60

Now remember, I said "If"

[legion]

if you can decifer 'me luv u long time' then you'll know where you stand 8)

[excalibur]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think it' pretty much solved itself, cause I can't see anything happening with either anymore, especially after some of the posts here rang true. I won't be working with either of them in a month, and most likely won't see either of them again.

Thanks all.