L J B F

[kleph]

i am thinking of getting this tattooed on my forhead in old english letters. it would make things easier than actually getting my hopes up when i meet somebody halfway cool again.

[Fuzzy Dice]

Legal Jelly Bank French?

yes, i know what it really means

[thingy]

What does it really mean?

[Fuzzy Dice]

Let's just be friends

[tikdoph]

I think that I L F A C* is a much better choice.




* I like fish and chips

[Deimos]

I hear you man. I went through a stage in late high school/early uni when, if I'd had the time/money/energy I was going to make a T-Shirt that simply said "Compromise" on it and wear it out pubs/clubs. Fortunately I didn't need to and now I am very happy, but I know what it's like.

[legion]

or the lesser of two evils

[Juice Biscuit]

Have you tried any of the local saggy tited chicks in Peru?


;)

[Salted_Chipmunk]

You can get that tattooed on your forehead and females can get DWAMIJALW tattooed on theirs.

You can guess what it means.

[hooptieride]

You can get that tattooed on your forehead and females can get DWAMIJALW tattooed on theirs.

You can guess what it means.
Or you could just tell us?

[Zan]

I think it's 'Don't want a man I just...' The rest of it I have no idea.

[Juice Biscuit]

I think it's 'Don't want a man I just...' The rest of it I have no idea.
Don't want a man I just arse lick women???

[Salted_Chipmunk]

Well played Pinger :)

That made me laugh my arse off.

Mine was : Don't Worry About Me, Im Just A Lying Whore.

[stevecai]

lol. i have a lot of friends who are wondering if they'll ever find a woman, and the only thing i can say to you is that history is on your side.

People have been wondering if they'll find a partner since human beings came into existence, yet pretty much everyone finds someone if they want to and so will you.

[kleph]

actually, i seriously doubt that at this stage. but thanks.

[Something Fast]

I am seriously thinking about getting "SLIT" on my forehead. It'd save a hell of alot of unnecessary annoyance...

[tikdoph]

What about "NSWF?" :D

[MisterBishi]

New South Wales Fucktard?

[psi_ko]

there was some guy that got "adidas" as a tat on his erect dick...when it went down it said "aids"

[lostreality]

how about "WTF?" or "STFU"

[tikdoph]

New South Wales Fucktard?
Nice shoes... ;)

[MisterBishi]

:confused:

[psi_ko]

Nice shoes... ;)

...wanna fuck?

[Fuzzy Dice]

threadcromancy!

NTMF.

Non Threatening Male Friend. It's like being a chick's gay friend, except with less penis in your bum.

[kleph]

werd.

[psi_ko]

I am seriously thinking about getting "SLIT" on my forehead. It'd save a hell of alot of unnecessary annoyance...


sleazy lonley idiotic twit?

no? what does it mean then...

[Asmodeus]

Slimy Labia, Irritated testicles.

[Lurgen]

Bah, you can't find a gf if you're looking for one. They smell it on you, that desperate sense of hopelessness that singles you out as untouchable. Doesn't matter how attracted to you they might be, they just won't hang around if you want them to.

I dated a girl once that I went out with just for the sex. She was hot, I mean mega-fucking-hot. Way out of my league, but all I wanted was to shag her for a few months then piss her off. So she was into me like you wouldn't believe - I was the guy she called three times a day, she'd turn up looking for sex at strange hours, and all was fantastic. Except I took her out on a few too many "dates", and she started to like me and I started to like her. Then I thought to myself, I could really get to like this chick, damn I wish she was my gf instead of a fuckbuddy. It took all of 48 hours for me to make the transition from slimebag to bf-wannabe but she took maybe 24 hours to decide "we shouldn't see each other any more".

So my point is, they know when you are lonely and they fear it. Commitment-fear is something people accuse guys off, but it's the chicks that really suffer from it.

BTW, there's nothing wrong with seeing somebody for purely physical reasons so long as you both know that's why you're doing it. Me, I was in between a 3-year relationship with a psychotic girl who stalked me for 2 more years after I broke it off and a string of failed attempts at finding the next stalker so I wasn't interested in anything long-term. As it so happens that was the key to having more women show an interest in me than ever before - not giving a shit if they wanted to see me more than once seemed to make them want to see me again. Go figure eh?

Now I'm rambling.

[Glompbot]

I dated a girl once that I went out with just for the sex. She was hot, I mean mega-fucking-hot. Way out of my league, but all I wanted was to shag her for a few months then piss her off. So she was into me like you wouldn't believe - I was the guy she called three times a day, she'd turn up looking for sex at strange hours, and all was fantastic. Except I took her out on a few too many "dates", and she started to like me and I started to like her. Then I thought to myself, I could really get to like this chick, damn I wish she was my gf instead of a fuckbuddy. It took all of 48 hours for me to make the transition from slimebag to bf-wannabe but she took maybe 24 hours to decide "we shouldn't see each other any more".

Try a year.
And then it took 3 months after asking for a "what the hell are we" for him to call it off.
And then he came back for one night.
And now its off again.

*headbutt*

[Lurgen]

Try a year.
And then it took 3 months after asking for a "what the hell are we" for him to call it off.
And then he came back for one night.
And now its off again.

*headbutt*

Just in case anybody else is confused, Sapia and I have never met!

[Glompbot]

Hahaha :D

[kleph]

you are right. i should start treating women like objects who exist merely to satiate my own desire and i will have better success at building a meaningful and rewarding relationship. how could i have been so stupid for so long?

[polite]

How about R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P tattooed somewhere?

Really Exciting Love Affair Turns Into Outrageous Nightmare Sanity Hangs In Peril.

It could be a bit long though, but then so can they. Or it could be not so long so she cuts it short.Or is she just saying that because it's gone on long enough?.
Fucked if I know. I think either you get lucky, or you don't and you die wondering if there was something really good in life that just passed you by, or you discarded because at the time it wasn't enough then later realise it was the best time you ever had.

[MyPetMonkey]

you are right. i should start treating women like objects who exist merely to satiate my own desire and i will have better success at building a meaningful and rewarding relationship. how could i have been so stupid for so long?

How about "LRAFTBB/F"???

Lacks Required Arsehole Factor To Be Boyfriend

I have this problem all the time....

Then again I could go for the "SUFYCACP"..

Storage Unit For Your Complaints About Current Partner

[stevecai]

you are right. i should start treating women like objects who exist merely to satiate my own desire and i will have better success at building a meaningful and rewarding relationship. how could i have been so stupid for so long?

you want to treat women as objects? why not just treat objects as women...

[sharpie]

you want to treat women as objects? why not just treat objects as women...
because you get in trouble if you get intimate with inanimate objects in public

[psi_ko]

because you get in trouble if you get intimate with inanimate objects in public

well, if you say so, can't say ive done that.

yet.

[KoinBahd]

Don't be such a downer kleph. When I reached the stage where I had lost all hope and decided to give up trying looking for a woman, along came the love of my life. She has made me a very chirpy bahd whom I am happy to share mein koins with.

I think there's something in that for all of us really...

[Scythe]

Don't be such a downer kleph. When I reached the stage where I had lost all hope and decided to give up trying looking for a woman, along came the love of my life. She has made me a very chirpy bahd whom I am happy to share mein koins with.

I think there's something in that for all of us really...

I gave up looking years ago, and i'm still waiting, so I guess the lesson is it's pretty much random who finds the person of their dreams and who doesn't.

[kleph]

agreed.

[Something Fast]

sleazy lonley idiotic twit?

no? what does it mean then...
Sorry Ladies, I'm Taken.
If you're single, women don't want to know you. Once you're happy in a relationship...

[Merudo]

Sorry Ladies, I'm Taken.
If you're single, women don't want to know you. Once you're happy in a relationship...
most likely because some women must think "well he's single, there must be something wrong with him"

try giving the impression you're already in a relationship without actually lying. it might make you seem more appealing, who knows. lol

[SOC]

Kleph told me to post here. So here I am. I'm visiting the tattoo parlour tomorrow.

[BtrFly]

SOC- i have the same problem. only i am female. does this apply?

LJBF here i come....

[kleph]

Kleph told me to post here. So here I am. I'm visiting the tattoo parlour tomorrow.

I mean, look at you! You're the kind of guy who would beg for sex! And I should know, we can smell our own.

[SOC]

It sure does - gender don't enter into it!

[Loathing]

I once worked with someone who figured females were terrible at telling left from right. He wore a ring on the relevant finger on the right hand - pick up city. Take it off - drought strikes.

Bugger the tattoos for now, try the ring. Maybe it gives sufficient arsehole factor to attract attention.

Never worked for me, but that has more to do with being a balding fat person I believe.

[kleph]

and yes, i have accomplished yet another wonderful LJBF achievement. i could now use a favor of anyone who has a shotgun. if you would be kind enough could hop over here and shoot me in the back of the head it would be greatly appreciated.

[Juice Biscuit]

/me sends a cheer up email to kleph, with an attached head slap.


Are you still trying to play the nice guy card? :(







;)

[Al]

kleph, i too dispair of every finding 'the' girl for me. I had one once but that didn't work out...

Odds on, you've got shit all chance. I think though, it's better than your chance of winner the lottery.

Still, better to live in hope than give up entirely.

[SOC]

kleph, i too dispair of every finding 'the' girl for me. I had one once but that didn't work out...
Then she wasn't the one for you
/stating the obvious

[kleph]

well, this one was my fault. so there isn't much that will make me feel better about it.

[Juice Biscuit]

so there isn't much that will make me feel better about it.

Surely a blowjob off a hooker in Peru couldn't cost much?

[hazza]

dude like honestly, stop getting so fucking emotionally attached to chics. thought u were like old n shit and wouldve figured that out.

[kleph]

nice to see you have matured up to your mid-teens there, hazza.

[Tank]

ok. I REALLY FUCKING KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Every chick i used to ask out, lets just be friends.

Now I just don't ask chicks out...or just fuck them. atm, I know i won't find love, so just play with em until your bored.

[Directed]

Kleph, I know you want to date me, but lets just be friends, OK?

[kleph]

sorry, i've made a sworn oath never to date anyone from zgeek. especially not anyone from zgeek who lives in chicago.

[Directed]

Does this mean we can't be friends?

[kleph]

ah yes. at long last, the consolation prize e-mail. my personal favorite part was the "i was messed up" comment. thanks for being nice enough to let me know you didn't really give a shit about me at any point, bitch.

[Cassa]

Gotta love that. I had the same thing happen to me over IRC, so we can like e-commiserate or something. Apologies if I'm being nonsensical, I drank too much tonight.

edit: this was 3 years ago, to clear up any confusion.

[kleph]

drinking now.

[Glompbot]

Oh dear... :(

[SOC]

And last I heard, kleph is still drinking.

Chin up, buddy.

[RedMaN]

I made a concerted effort with my last g/f not to have in-depth coversations regarding our relationship over IM/email. It didn't seem to matter... I still got dumped over MSN :(
Now I'm not really looking for anyone and I have some serious trust issues.... bah to all women :spingo:
I mean, look at you! You're the kind of guy who would beg for sex! And I should know, we can smell our own.
Nice Mallrats reference ;)

[Leeloo]

If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that in the end, the best guy friend who was ignored for so long finally gets the girl.

Oh wait. Hollywood's full of shit.

In all seriousness, however, maybe you're looking at the wrong types of girls? I'm curious, do the girls you usually go after belong to what you would consider a "type"? I've often been on the listening end of guys complaining that all the girls don't like them when in fact I liked them. What, I don't count because I'm not a blonde? Maybe I don't know anything, but it's also possible that you're just looking in the wrong place.

Buck up! Don't let this girl get you down.

[Scythe]

If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that in the end, the best guy friend who was ignored for so long finally gets the girl.

Speaking as someone who is eternally condemned to be the guy best friend, I can categorically support that this is not the case. :D

[Tigress]

I think the worst part about LJBF is that they never, ever mean it. Well, perhaps they do if they were the dumper, but the dumpee is never gonna go for it. Both parties can try, but the minute one or the other meets someone else all bets are off. Sure, it can happen in the long run, but it takes ages, if not forever in some cases, for that to actually happen.


Kleph, I'm sending you a virtual hug while pouring you a drink ;) Take care of you...

[kleph]

well, please remember that the sturm und drang of this thread was back in february. the recent update was more of an unexpected kick in the stomach than a revistation of the horror.

now i am back to my usual state of inescapably single. kind of a priest without a church.

[polite]

now i am back to my usual state of inescapably single. kind of a priest without a church.


Around here we'd call that 'being fucked without a kiss'

[kleph]

i thought fuzzy dice's take on it (http://forum.zgeek.com/showpost.php?p=456086&postcount=24) was the best description i ever heard.

[King_Crud]

kleph, i would have thought that the peruvians would be all over you, at the least because you might be their passport out of the country.

And anyways, i thought south americans loved rooting. I rooted some and they loved it

[kleph]

needless to say, i didnt come to peru for easy access to ass and simply fucking someone because they believe i may be a way out of the country really is not my style. i simply am not that mercenary.

[The Cunt]

i am thinking of getting this tattooed on my forhead in old english letters. it would make things easier than actually getting my hopes up when i meet somebody halfway cool again.

I'm going with "H C W F".

[Sutter]

Wow, you're a ture geek for that one:
"Hey Cool! Wi-Fi!"

[kleph]

but he is still hardcore due to the "nigah plz" in old english script on his belly.

[kleph]

ok, looking a bit better. got an honest-to-god date . i am taking this drop dead beautiful peruvian woman out for sushi tomorrow. she is a chemist and is studying japanese.
















and she has big ones.

[coreageek]

haha

Good on ya, mate.

[Directed]

So Kleph, we need an update about now. Since there was none, I'll assume you are LJBF again.

[kleph]

no. we went out but kept our body fluids to ourselves then i left town for two weeks.

[coreageek]

still in contact?

[kleph]

yah.

[coreageek]

The tone of your typing suggests disapointment of some kind. . .

[kleph]

no. i am at work. thus the brevity. this chick is cool but it is too early to get the serious heavy thigh sweats over things.