Situation - emotionally unstable peoples

[djcreedy]

how do you break up with someone whos very unstable? suicide etc?
I've had relationships like this before, but i knew that the girls werent capable of it..
This one i think is seroius though. And for reasons that arent really important, i need to break up with her.
Some peeps have suggested talking to her mother first. or something.
Some peeps are saying stay with her .. which may make sense, she's offered a 4 some with her and three friends which i havent cashed in on ;D. but i dont want to.. as much as id love to i think that would make the situtation affect her even more.
any manic depresssives out there wanna give me a hand/clue/..beer?
Edit: i think the only reason she offered the 4some was because she thought id stay with her... and im not gonna make her do soemthin she doesnt really wanna do now.

[jambo]

I think you should get some professional advice.

Not only would it be in her best interest, but if everything *did* got tits-up, you'd know that you did the best you could.

Best of luck.

[stevecai]

is she emotionally dependent on you? i guess you could slowly make her less dependent by introducing other sources of strength into her life, or pillars to rely upon, or whatever you call them.

sometimes there are clear sources of such feelings. is she scared of not getting married and being alone? is she lonely? there are many such questions, but often there is a root cause based on the type of relationship which will give you some hints - hence my question on emotional dependence.

if she is offering you a foursome she probably thinks that sex will keep you in the relationship but it also shows she is desperate to keep you. the question is why. once you have identified this it will help.

if she is mentally unstable (for real, not just in jest) then you do need to get some kind of professional advice.

[peril]

Shit dude, I found myself in a similar situation when I was about 20 (now 30)

Try and get some profesional help as soon as posible.
See your doctor and tell him a rough outline, he will be able to show you diferent avenues (also do you go to Uni?) such as Anglicare and othe non profit - donation driven help services up to Pschiatrists that will help certain times a week for free/donation.

I lived in Brisbane at the time and it was about 10 years ago so I have no other contacts/paths/advise to give you other Than see your Doc for help ;) he dun just look after colds and organise sickdays for ya ;) your mind is THE most important part of your body, look after it first ;)

Msg me if ya wanna.
~Chris:)

[peril]

sory for teh grammers, bin drunken ;P

[Chocoholic]

If she is that keen to keep you don't give her your sperm.
Emotionally unstable chicks are bad news. Best of luck.

[druckfugged]

You don't need proffesional help dude; relationships end every day all over the world. Not really understanding the nature of the relationship and just taking what I can from the post it seems maybe that you've been wanting to end this relationship for a while and maybe growing emotionally more distant which your girlfriend has picked up on- her reaction is to grow more emotionally dependent on you (my social psychology is amateur at best) what I can tell you is that it's best to be up front and honest about your feelings; you're not doing anyone any favours by continuing the relationship.

[Aardvark]

Just dump her. She'll hate you for it anyway, might as well try and minimise time spent in the same room as her. And don't do it over the phone, by SMS or on teh internet. That's just fucking gay. Just dump her and be prepared to run if the situation requires it

Also get ready to change your phone number, address and car, with the possibility of getting plastic surgery.

But dump her as soon as you can. If the only reason you're with someone is because you're too scared to break up, you're lying to them on a daily basis. Lies are no basis for a relationship.

Unless your name is Pinnochio and your GF's a nasal sex enthusiast

[djcreedy]

Hehe. yeh thats the problem. i have been wanting to break up for a while. but hte last time i broke up with a girl like this.. i nearly had to change my phone numbers and stuff. or move town anyway. suddenly everyone around town wouldnt go near me, cause i was a rapist, and alot of other stuff. took years to re-build some friendships, i dont think she realised what effect bad rumors can have.
But that aside. I'm moving to brissy soon, which is half the reason i need to break up with her, but also why im worried. it will just be like "ok, dumped" and then i leave the next day. im worried leaving her hanging out like that will be bad.

And yeh. i know relationships end every day, but sometimes its a little more complicated.
It seems to be a ratio of 1 to 5 girls i get with are like this. She's the worst by far. gradually i started finding out more and more shit about her past and her family, which is all just fucked up. alot of sexual abuse etc. her sis is in a crazy house cause of so many repeated suicide attempts..

So much trouble for a little tang *slaps forhead*