Consult the Reverend.

[kré]

Ask of me what you will and you shall receive an answer, although not necessarily an accurate, meaningful or helpful one. Nonetheless, ask away and I'll do what I can.

[Aardvark]

Dear reverend

Could you suck any more than you suck now? Or are you at the maximum suckage level?

[Thyrd]

Dear Rev.
Who is the better person to go to? You? Goatboy? Or Imp?
Please give a detailed reason as to why your choice is smarter and funnier than the other two.

[MAX POWER]

Reverend, if someone is recovering from a cold, and they feel almost fine again, but still have some minor lingering symptoms which they have had for over 2 weeks since returning to work, should they return to swimming laps at the local pool like they did before they got sick.

Or should they wait until the symptoms are completely gone, even if it takes another week?

[can you believe that this piss weak ?uestion is the best thing I could come up with after thinking about it for a few minutes??]

[kré]

Dear reverend

Could you suck any more than you suck now? Or are you at the maximum suckage level?

i don't suck, that's the altar boys' job.

[kré]

Dear Rev.
Who is the better person to go to? You? Goatboy? Or Imp?
Please give a detailed reason as to why your choice is smarter and funnier than the other two.

if you want to hear a response relating everything to the soiled underpants of a 13 year old schoolgirl, ask goatboy.

if you want to hear the zcosmo response, ask imp.

if you want the cold hard-hitting truth, or to be told to kill yourself in an interesting way, ask the reverend.

[Something Fast]

Dear Reverend
I used to absolutely despise people who wandered around without a shirt on, yet now I regularly do the same. Admittely, it's in the comfort of my own home, but still...
Have I changed so much?

[kré]

Reverend, if someone is recovering from a cold, and they feel almost fine again, but still have some minor lingering symptoms which they have had for over 2 weeks since returning to work, should they return to swimming laps at the local pool like they did before they got sick.

Or should they wait until the symptoms are completely gone, even if it takes another week?

[can you believe that this piss weak ?uestion is the best thing I could come up with after thinking about it for a few minutes??]

get back in the pool, but don't push yourself. from my experience, easing yourself back into your regular exercise routines and physical activity is a good way to make recovery happen faster. worked for me when i used to play a lot of basketball :cool:

[dozer]

should i ask bishi, ask imp or you?

[kré]

Dear Reverend
I used to absolutely despise people who wandered around without a shirt on, yet now I regularly do the same. Admittely, it's in the comfort of my own home, but still...
Have I changed so much?

what i'd understand from your brief question is the large possibility that your hatred of those walking around shirtless previously was because if your lack of confidence in your own body, and a jealousy towards those who are more inclined to be shirtless.

i'd say the change you've gone through is either an increase in confidence with your own body, even though you admit you only practice this indoors, or the fact that you just don't give so much of a shit what anybody else thinks anymore.

[kré]

should i ask bishi, ask imp or you?

already answered - except for the bishi part. and bishi's cool, but he ain't no reverend.

[dozer]

i have a big chaffing rash from a 4hr drug induced shagging session new years day, when can i expect it to heal?

[kré]

i have a big chaffing rash from a 4hr drug induced shagging session new years day, when can i expect it to heal?

never. amputation is the only answer. i'll get the axe.

[Afro88]

what happened to cray?

har har har

[kré]

what happened to cray?

har har har

died in a fire.

[StygiaN]

Dear Rev,

Are you a cock in real life too or is it just your online persona?

Davidian@!

[kré]

Dear Rev,

Are you a cock in real life too or is it just your online persona?

Davidian@!

i'm only a cock to those who deserve that sort of treatment. it just so happens that there are a lot of deserving people 'round these here parts.

[StygiaN]

Dear Rev,

I am deserving ov being called a cock. You are wise and well. How do you keep so smart? Mind exercise? Osmisis? Onomatapea?

D

[kré]

Dear Rev,

I am deserving ov being called a cock. You are wise and well. How do you keep so smart? Mind exercise? Osmisis? Onomatapea?

D

Lots of bacon and milk.

[StygiaN]

Dear Rev.

Why is bacon called bacon and not fried dead pig?

Dave

[kré]

Dear Rev.

Why is bacon called bacon and not fried dead pig?

Dave

you know i've often wondered that myself. i mean, at least they should call it something slightly relevant. bacon sounds like bakin', and it ain't baked. maybe they should called it fryon.

[thingy]

Dear reverend, this is the fourth or fifth thread like this. Should we just get every god damned user on this site creating one of their own? :rolleyes:

[dwarfthrower]

Dear reverend, this is the fourth or fifth thread like this. Should we just get every god damned user on this site creating one of their own? :rolleyes:
I say let them run wild until it ceases being an original idea.

[SamBo]

dear Rev. do you give the reach-around? I hear you do, and want to know for sure before I make a pass at you.

Thanks

[thingy]

I say let them run wild until it ceases being an original idea.
It ceased being original with the second thread.

[dwarfthrower]

It ceased being original with the second thread.
Your sarcasm detector needs more coffee this morning.

[Asmodeus]

dear rev

is thingy always this much of a pompous stick in teh mud?

[thingy]

Your sarcasm detector needs more coffee this morning.
Yeah, probably.

[TK-421]

Dear Rev,
why would I ask asmodeus a question?

Yours religiously,
TK

[abelgold]

Dear Rev,

Chicks? Discuss.

luv
your mum.

[Salted_Chipmunk]

Dear Rev, Two trains are travelling away from each other the first at 60km/h, the second at 2.25km/h, they are travelling on a 700.25km track.

The driver of the first train is the actual father of the driver of the second train, yet the second driver thinks that he is his cousin. The second driver also like to wear skinned cats as cod-pieces, fashioned in the era of the late 1870's.

Whilst the driver of the second train is not aware of the fact that the other driver is his dad, he does have a slight inclination to believe that he is in fact his brother through some mis-information given to him by his mother (who by a strange turn of events actually is his pet llama, but thats a different story altogether.)

If the two trains set off at 8:00pm travelling this 700.25 Km track banked at an inclination of around 45 degrees, how long do i have to put my Hot Pockets© in a microwave that is on par with 1988 standards to get an evenly heat distributed feast for my taste buds to savour?

Also, how does one remove sand from ones vagina?

[kré]

Dear reverend, this is the fourth or fifth thread like this. Should we just get every god damned user on this site creating one of their own? :rolleyes:

did you create an ask thingy thread in the past that failed to get past the first page? is that why your panties are in a reef knot? stop being a whinging bitch and subscribe to the good old if you don't like it don't read it policy.

[kré]

dear rev

is thingy always this much of a pompous stick in teh mud?

only when he's on the rag. which seems to happen a lot.

[kré]

Dear Rev,
why would I ask asmodeus a question?

Yours religiously,
TK

is this a trick question? dude, for real, just take that flying leap and ask him to marry you. you'll regret it if you miss your opportunity.

[kré]

Dear Rev,

Chicks? Discuss.

luv
your mum.

:women:

that is all.

[kré]

Dear Rev, Two trains are travelling away from each other the first at 60km/h, the second at 2.25km/h, they are travelling on a 700.25km track.

The driver of the first train is the actual father of the driver of the second train, yet the second driver thinks that he is his cousin. The second driver also like to wear skinned cats as cod-pieces, fashioned in the era of the late 1870's.

Whilst the driver of the second train is not aware of the fact that the other driver is his dad, he does have a slight inclination to believe that he is in fact his brother through some mis-information given to him by his mother (who by a strange turn of events actually is his pet llama, but thats a different story altogether.)

If the two trains set off at 8:00pm travelling this 700.25 Km track banked at an inclination of around 45 degrees, how long do i have to put my Hot Pockets© in a microwave that is on par with 1988 standards to get an evenly heat distributed feast for my taste buds to savour?

Also, how does one remove sand from ones vagina?

i don't know much about hot pockets, but if they're anything like pizza pockets, the perfect timing to have two of them in the microwave for 2:25.

for removing sand from one's vagina i recommend a healthy dose of metholated spirits combined with the outright cleansing power of the enjo microfibre cleaning pad.

[Reprobate]

How do you keep so smart? Mind exercise? Osmisis? Onomatapea?

you left out 'enemas'.

[Reprobate]

Dear Reverend,

Why is it that Thingy would say "Should we just get every god damned user on this site creating one of their own?" when in fact I can't recall where any user has created one of their own.

How come Thingy has over 5000 rep points but he seems to get the shits with everyone?

Does changing your username give you a new lease on life? Or is it a reflection of who you really are? And if so would you recommend that Thingy changes his username to Cranky instead?

[kré]

Dear Reverend,

Why is it that Thingy would say "Should we just get every god damned user on this site creating one of their own?" when in fact I can't recall where any user has created one of their own.

How come Thingy has over 5000 rep points but he seems to get the shits with everyone?

Does changing your username give you a new lease on life? Or is it a reflection of who you really are? And if so would you recommend that Thingy changes his username to Cranky instead?

imp, goat boy, and bishi are the only other 'ask me' threads i can think of.

thingy has 5000 rep points because he is a mod. i'm sure that if anyone could take a peek at his control panel that you'd see that he's only been repped up by about 8 users, and they're probably all users who have been here for less than 2 months.

the whole username change thing was one of those seemed like a good idea at the time thing which is starting to wear off. i'll probably PM the big guy soon and ask him to change me back.

and no, i wouldn't recommend thingy's name be changed to cranky. i suggest 'senor asshat'.

[berserk]

Dear Reverend,

Which denomination are you attached to?

Yours in lapsed faith,
b

[mea culpa]

Dear Rev,

What am I drinking?

love your mumma,
Mr Mea.

[Salted_Chipmunk]

Dear Rev,

Not a question but I eagerly await the Consult Cray thread to annoy the mods again :)

Love mr Puff'n Fresh

[Merudo]

Rev,

is my face going to fall off some day?

[kré]

Dear Reverend,

Which denomination are you attached to?

Yours in lapsed faith,
b

i'm attached to the church of burning other churches.

[kré]

Dear Rev,

What am I drinking?

love your mumma,
Mr Mea.

a single plum floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.

[kré]

Dear Rev,

Not a question but I eagerly await the Consult Cray thread to annoy the mods again :)

Love mr Puff'n Fresh

http://www.crayonline.com/smilies/fingersx.gif

[kré]

Rev,

is my face going to fall off some day?

only if you bleach your skin and touch young boys.

[SamBo]

Dear Rev,
You didn't answer my question, therefore I have to come to the conclusion that you suck on a supreme level.
Confirm/deny

[sperm]

dear rev,

if sex is a sin, why does it feel so good ?

[hazza]

dear rev,

you got my cheese wizz boy?

[SamBo]

dear rev,

you got my cheese wizz boy?
Dear Rev,
If I am reading hazza's post correctly, he is saying you stole the "cheese" off his "wizz"
Does this infact mean that you do suck as I suspected?

:D

[kré]

Dear Rev,
You didn't answer my question, therefore I have to come to the conclusion that you suck on a supreme level.
Confirm/deny

the answer to your question is found within your deep seeded lust for your own father. i recommend you arrange to be fired from a cannon into new zealand.

[kré]

dear rev,

if sex is a sin, why does it feel so good ?

sex is a sin? according to who? that must have been made up by a woman with a 'headache' and a blank bible page.

[kré]

dear rev,

you got my cheese wizz boy?

i've got your cheese wizz in the form of a lighter and a can of aerostart.

[kré]

Dear Rev,
If I am reading hazza's post correctly, he is saying you stole the "cheese" off his "wizz"
Does this infact mean that you do suck as I suspected?

:D

everything in your life seems to revolve around sucking. i think this also goes back to your lust for your old man.