Suggestions for revenge - preferably ice-cold

[Sapper]

So here's the deal. A friend of mine was recently dumped by her guy for a younger woman.
Not content with the humiliation of that, he recently started some nasty behaviour, showing up unannounced, asking for her new home phone number, and in particular of late, refusing to sign over a bill from her name to his until he "sees receipts" for other bills that he knows are already paid.
Seems trivial I hear you say? Maybe so, but the end result isn't - my friend is a nervous wreck, since she is afraid he's going to show up one day and get aggro, etc., something I'm not going to put up with.
So. I want to fuck with him. Severely. I don't mean just beating him up, that's easily done and has no class anyway. I want to do things that will make his life more difficult than he is currently making hers, and I want to do it in such a way that there's no way to connect it to her.
So I'm calling upon the pooled resources of Zgeek - what have you done before, and what can you suggest? All information actually used will be rewarded with rep and beer.

[Benwah]

information is key, find out as much as you can about them and find a way to get them in hot water with

A)Work
B)Parents or partner (if he has a 'new' one yet)
C)The law

That way, he will be too busy trying to get whatever problem you make for him to bother your 'friend' and you'll be happy with the knowledge that he is suffering because of some mistake he has made himself.

[Munchkin]

I'm really sorry to that about your friend. I've been on the receiving end of similar stuff from an ex, and its not nice :(


I dont think the following are really the type of suggestions you wanted, but at the very least they might raise a smile .

These were all mentioned on a tv documentary abort scorned women and the revenge they take, most notably featured was Lady Graham Moon who cut the sleeves from her husbands Saville Row suits and distributed most, if not all of his expensive vintage wine collection amongst the villagers where she lived :p

Other things done :

Some woman sewed a couple of jumbo prawns into the hem of her ex's curtains, so they would rot and stink the place out.

Another still had the keys to her bf's flat, and one day went in, turned on the hose, saturated his starr carpets and sowed packets of mustard and cress seeds .. by the time he got back ( he was on holiday or something ) he had a nice tall carpet of cress :p

And , perhaps my favourite, a woman emptied the contents of a can of tuna ( just the stinky tuna-smelling brine ) into the air vent of her ex's car ..... in the Summeritime ... Just imagine how that ended up smelling :barf:


If all else fails, use his phone to call some 0898 chatline in the UK and leave it for a few hours ;)

[TheAwesome]

I think the key is deffinatelty information. Things like his work associates. Send a female co-worker flowers with a raunchy note attatched. Or heck, even send a male co-worker the flowers! Little things like that. They have to be random, non-connected events. But something that will get others questioning his a) intentions b) integrity c) sanity!

[Benwah]

Thats it TheAwesome, see everyone makes mistakes, or has a weakness, find that and you'll be able to exact the revenge you need to simply by exploting said weakness/mistake to your advantage.

[Sapper]

Thanks for the suggestions - at the moment I'm looking at painting the underside of his car door handles with some light chili juice, and waiting for him to rub his eyes... :D

[thingy]

My tip is to not be so fucking immature and grow the fuck up!

If receipt's cannot be found, companies can re-send them - big deal. If she is a nervous wreck, do what you can to help her. Revenge will only make the situation worse, ESPECIALLY if he finds out.

Revenge never works, it just continues to get worse and worse with both sides constantly claiming to be the innocent victim.

[BtrFly]

ditto with thingy. get an AVO if things are that dire.

[Bambi]

I have learnt (through vast and VERY painful experiance) that being happy is the best revenge.

[druckfugged]

I agree with Bambi. Having said that covering his front lawn with roundup is pretty good. This way, he won't ever know for sure. Also paying cash for a delivery of about half a ton of cow manure with instructions to just dump it on the front lawn when he isn't at home is likewise a jolly jape- you'll get a kick out of it and he ain't ever going to know...

[Aardvark]

Sit back, wait a while for the lot of you to cool off. 'Cause revenge is a dish best served cold

When he thinks the whole thing's over with, that's when you hit him with the prawns, the salt in petrol tank, the contact adhesive on his toilet seat, the DMSO mixed with LSD on his keyboard (if you have the contacts), the gay biker gangraping, the burning alive of his family and all the other nasty little things you can do that make revenge such a popular pastime around this big wide world of ours

[beowulf437]

I usually find that time is my best revenge. People that have screwed with me in the past have all self destructed. Most of them have ended up in jail, one I know of has ended up both in jail and the state mental hospital. Every company that ever fired me has went out of business within five years.

If they want screw with someone it probably means that they are doing something else wrong and that they don't have a lot of self esteme anyway. So they are going to fuck up or fuck with the wrong person and get themselves in a world of shit.

[TheAwesome]

My tip is to not be so fucking immature and grow the fuck up!

If receipt's cannot be found, companies can re-send them - big deal. If she is a nervous wreck, do what you can to help her. Revenge will only make the situation worse, ESPECIALLY if he finds out.

Revenge never works, it just continues to get worse and worse with both sides constantly claiming to be the innocent victim.


But where is the fun in that??!?! Revenge is more about self satisfaction than about making the other person hurt.

[ajcrowley]

sounds like a guy who really wants to susbribe to watchtower and all other related material, in fact a visit from the mormans and other mobs might just drive him insane

[Sapper]

I like that one AJ. Rep for you. Like I said, there's not going to be any way for it to be connected to either myself or her. If it's not completely deniable then it simply won't happen. Keep them coming.

[sharpie]

invite him to dinner and add some "seasoning " to his dish:P
put button pins under his chair:P
find out where they are going to hang out at night, throw yourself into your red dress, pretend you happen to meet them, walk up and say hi, and walk away, dont forget to turn around, smile and blink your eye ;)

shes an evil one this girl

variation on the red dress idea...
follow minigirls advice but dont forget to find the bestlooking guy/girl (depending on your tastes) and have them hanging off your arm...
nothing better than rubbing the ex's face in the dirt :p

[hazza]

lol


tell him he has aids

[sharpie]

lol


tell him he has aids
ouch

the only problem to that is that he will no doubt tell everyone else

better to merely say "i might be an idea if you get some blood tests done. my doctor thinks i might have something"
scares the hell out of him
and you can always say it was merely a precaution if anyone asks about it

[excalibur]

For really really really harsh revenge, there is always the option of crossing thermite with their automobile.

Not that I would reccommend you do anything like that due to the illegality of it all.

[Bambi]

I have to agree with thingy.
The longer you seek revenge on him, the more he will retaliate. = the longer he will be in her life
Get reciepts and what not together give them to him and say goodbye.
And once everything is handed over paperwork signed etc, if he doesn't leave her alone go to the police. If you retaliate and he does something you will have little to zero credibility.