Salted_Chipmunk
29-01-2005, 04:56 AM
Howdy,
Its now time for your quartely rant by NaCL'ed-ForrestRodent.
But this time its different. Im fucking bored so im ranting about relationships in general.
Please feel free to add to my drivel.
Relationships with the opposite sex are a funny thing.
The majority of the time this (sometimes) wonderous freak of occurrence will chance itself into your life, usually when you least want it.
The Thrill Of The Chase
Ahh yes, the thrill of the chase of tail (or tailette in some cases, actually fuck it im going to refer to this in the males stance, for females replace our fancy lingo with your fancy lingo detailing the male genetalia/gender)
Theres nothing like the feeling of when you realise that you have a crush on someone or have found these deep seeded feelings that you hadn't expected. Hearts skip, Pulses rise, crotches get sweaty, maybe.
All of a sudden, your act cleans up by about 50%, you start dressing smarter, spending that extra 5 minutes making sure that your hair looks top notch, cleaning your room, maybe you decide to give the old giblets a trimming or write their name in your pubes, who knows.
The fact of the matter is that you do this at the drop of a pin just for some feeling that you have found. It's funny how the prospect of a possible relationship can make you do something that your parents have been bugging you for the last 10 years.
But the chase only lasts for so long, until you decide to make a move which brings us to
EOI
Thats right, the expression of interest. Namely flirting. For some flirting comes naturally, for some it requires a little polish, some completely suck at it.
Flirting can be one of the most enjoyable leadups to a relationship, but can also be one of the worst. While all the sexual innuendos can be fun, you have to make sure that the flirting is accepted by the other involved or else all hell can break loose at a wrongly placed word.
You test the waters to see what the other persons limits are without really getting to personal or to find if they're any boyfriends to spoil the mix
If there are any warning signs that set alarms off in your head, you can easily back off without hurting feelings and providing gossip to your friends about that nasty break up. If not you've pretty much got a solid date on your hands.
Its time to setup that date!
The Dating Stage
So, your going to ask that person out on a date, but what if she doesnt want to date me, she'd never go out with me, im too ugly/fat. They are way out of my league.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
The line above should never, ever be uttered if you are thinking about asking someone out, your negativity towards yourself will always show. NOBODY is out of your league. The only thing that you need to remember, which should be drilled into eveyones head is this :
The worst thing that can happen is that you will be turned down. That doesn't matter as a) you can chalk it up to experience and b) you are in exactly the same position that you are in currently.
Providing that you don't grab the other persons arse and stare at their privates whilst doing your best impression of Encino Man (GAZOONGAS!!!),
you will receive a confirmation that the attraction is mutual (Sure i'd like that) or a nice let down as to where you should always be graceful, do not beg.
Everybody has their own rules to dating, and who am i to say what is right or wrong. Just dont take your date to an Insane Clown Posse gig, (unless they like that stuff oif course) Choose a nice place, something nice to eat in a non-threatening environment works best.
Okay, for the ladies out there, this one is for you. It seems as though most of the time, its the guy picking the place for the first date. This is fine, but heed my warning.
IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO CHOOSE A PLACE FOR ANY OTHER DATES. If you don't make an effort for the places where you want to eat, get used to eating the biggest, greasiest steak from the pub up the road. We like to be surprised too.
You've been dating for a while now and things are going great....
So Now Your A Couple?
Yay! You've made it this far and you are extremely pleased with how things are going. How do you keep up the romance and attraction?
Surprises people. Surprises. Men like this just as much as women do. A note here, or anything done to make the other persons life a little easier, it could be anything. Keep the other person on their toes, just like anything in life, if you go about something the same way every single time eventually you will get bored. Variety is the spice of life after all, so start having that crazy mokey-swinging-from-the-roof sex that you have bee always wanting.
The one sold gold rule that EVERYONE should stick to is, be truthful. Always. No matter what. It should need no explaination. Stick to this rule and i guarentee that if you truly are in love, the relationship will last, given that you put the effort into making it last. Don't take each other for granted.
The seriousnes For gunsella :)
So now your getting serious with someone.
Maybe you live with your partner, maybe you dont. Fact of the matter is that you constantly think about them all the time. For some this stage comes before the dating part. (The thinking all the time about them that is)
Bascially it is the same as the dating stage, you will go out of your way to please the other person. You do things that are not always what you would normally do to please this person when you know that you are stepping on toes of others. (IE: friends motherfuckers, thats right, just cause you have a permenant relationship doesn't mean that you have to 'forget' that friends still play a part of your life)
Its all well and good to think that you dont need anyone else, but the fact of the matter is that you still have fiends outside therelationship. Having someone to call our own is nice but please remember that you do have outside relationships, there is more to life than one other person. As the old saying goes, Bro's before hoes.
Which leads us to the worst part of a relationship that not all will get to experience
The Break Up
Dunnnn, Dunnnnnn, DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Your world has come crashing down around you, you don't understand what has just happened or why it has happened. Your best option at this point in time is to put your phone down. Hide it for the night. Get your friends together and go out on the piss or whatever you do to take your mind away from things.
You will begoing through a stage or feelings and emotions, due to the emotional nature, these will often be extreme cases of the emotions, such as denile, anger, sadness you name it, it will be a rollercoaster for the next 2 weeks or so until you can finally calm down enough to think rationally.
Although your world looks bleak, there is always light athe other end of the tunnel. The feeling is horrible, you want to curl up and die, but the pain will go away, maybe not altogether, but it will decrease over time.
Stick it out, your hand will never leave you for someone else.
Thus ends my little rant about relationships, i briefly touched on very general aspects of them all, i cant be fucked writing any more.
I don't know why i wrote this, lack of sleep and too much booze makes my mind wander. I guess that Im finally over a breakup not too long ago and am just wanting a rant to get it all out of my system. I guess that i am finally wanting to put myself through all this shit again in the persuit of the goal.
If only it were that easy :)
Edited : for Gunsella. now with more lovey dovey shit.
Its now time for your quartely rant by NaCL'ed-ForrestRodent.
But this time its different. Im fucking bored so im ranting about relationships in general.
Please feel free to add to my drivel.
Relationships with the opposite sex are a funny thing.
The majority of the time this (sometimes) wonderous freak of occurrence will chance itself into your life, usually when you least want it.
The Thrill Of The Chase
Ahh yes, the thrill of the chase of tail (or tailette in some cases, actually fuck it im going to refer to this in the males stance, for females replace our fancy lingo with your fancy lingo detailing the male genetalia/gender)
Theres nothing like the feeling of when you realise that you have a crush on someone or have found these deep seeded feelings that you hadn't expected. Hearts skip, Pulses rise, crotches get sweaty, maybe.
All of a sudden, your act cleans up by about 50%, you start dressing smarter, spending that extra 5 minutes making sure that your hair looks top notch, cleaning your room, maybe you decide to give the old giblets a trimming or write their name in your pubes, who knows.
The fact of the matter is that you do this at the drop of a pin just for some feeling that you have found. It's funny how the prospect of a possible relationship can make you do something that your parents have been bugging you for the last 10 years.
But the chase only lasts for so long, until you decide to make a move which brings us to
EOI
Thats right, the expression of interest. Namely flirting. For some flirting comes naturally, for some it requires a little polish, some completely suck at it.
Flirting can be one of the most enjoyable leadups to a relationship, but can also be one of the worst. While all the sexual innuendos can be fun, you have to make sure that the flirting is accepted by the other involved or else all hell can break loose at a wrongly placed word.
You test the waters to see what the other persons limits are without really getting to personal or to find if they're any boyfriends to spoil the mix
If there are any warning signs that set alarms off in your head, you can easily back off without hurting feelings and providing gossip to your friends about that nasty break up. If not you've pretty much got a solid date on your hands.
Its time to setup that date!
The Dating Stage
So, your going to ask that person out on a date, but what if she doesnt want to date me, she'd never go out with me, im too ugly/fat. They are way out of my league.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
The line above should never, ever be uttered if you are thinking about asking someone out, your negativity towards yourself will always show. NOBODY is out of your league. The only thing that you need to remember, which should be drilled into eveyones head is this :
The worst thing that can happen is that you will be turned down. That doesn't matter as a) you can chalk it up to experience and b) you are in exactly the same position that you are in currently.
Providing that you don't grab the other persons arse and stare at their privates whilst doing your best impression of Encino Man (GAZOONGAS!!!),
you will receive a confirmation that the attraction is mutual (Sure i'd like that) or a nice let down as to where you should always be graceful, do not beg.
Everybody has their own rules to dating, and who am i to say what is right or wrong. Just dont take your date to an Insane Clown Posse gig, (unless they like that stuff oif course) Choose a nice place, something nice to eat in a non-threatening environment works best.
Okay, for the ladies out there, this one is for you. It seems as though most of the time, its the guy picking the place for the first date. This is fine, but heed my warning.
IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO CHOOSE A PLACE FOR ANY OTHER DATES. If you don't make an effort for the places where you want to eat, get used to eating the biggest, greasiest steak from the pub up the road. We like to be surprised too.
You've been dating for a while now and things are going great....
So Now Your A Couple?
Yay! You've made it this far and you are extremely pleased with how things are going. How do you keep up the romance and attraction?
Surprises people. Surprises. Men like this just as much as women do. A note here, or anything done to make the other persons life a little easier, it could be anything. Keep the other person on their toes, just like anything in life, if you go about something the same way every single time eventually you will get bored. Variety is the spice of life after all, so start having that crazy mokey-swinging-from-the-roof sex that you have bee always wanting.
The one sold gold rule that EVERYONE should stick to is, be truthful. Always. No matter what. It should need no explaination. Stick to this rule and i guarentee that if you truly are in love, the relationship will last, given that you put the effort into making it last. Don't take each other for granted.
The seriousnes For gunsella :)
So now your getting serious with someone.
Maybe you live with your partner, maybe you dont. Fact of the matter is that you constantly think about them all the time. For some this stage comes before the dating part. (The thinking all the time about them that is)
Bascially it is the same as the dating stage, you will go out of your way to please the other person. You do things that are not always what you would normally do to please this person when you know that you are stepping on toes of others. (IE: friends motherfuckers, thats right, just cause you have a permenant relationship doesn't mean that you have to 'forget' that friends still play a part of your life)
Its all well and good to think that you dont need anyone else, but the fact of the matter is that you still have fiends outside therelationship. Having someone to call our own is nice but please remember that you do have outside relationships, there is more to life than one other person. As the old saying goes, Bro's before hoes.
Which leads us to the worst part of a relationship that not all will get to experience
The Break Up
Dunnnn, Dunnnnnn, DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Your world has come crashing down around you, you don't understand what has just happened or why it has happened. Your best option at this point in time is to put your phone down. Hide it for the night. Get your friends together and go out on the piss or whatever you do to take your mind away from things.
You will begoing through a stage or feelings and emotions, due to the emotional nature, these will often be extreme cases of the emotions, such as denile, anger, sadness you name it, it will be a rollercoaster for the next 2 weeks or so until you can finally calm down enough to think rationally.
Although your world looks bleak, there is always light athe other end of the tunnel. The feeling is horrible, you want to curl up and die, but the pain will go away, maybe not altogether, but it will decrease over time.
Stick it out, your hand will never leave you for someone else.
Thus ends my little rant about relationships, i briefly touched on very general aspects of them all, i cant be fucked writing any more.
I don't know why i wrote this, lack of sleep and too much booze makes my mind wander. I guess that Im finally over a breakup not too long ago and am just wanting a rant to get it all out of my system. I guess that i am finally wanting to put myself through all this shit again in the persuit of the goal.
If only it were that easy :)
Edited : for Gunsella. now with more lovey dovey shit.