Im bleeding in my ass :(

[amj]

And it's not from a large dose of man-love either!!!

Btw I will -rep anyone who suggests that man-love is the cause. Similarly, anyone posting :fag: this emoticon in this thread will also be - repped.



:swear: :swear: :swear:
:flame: :flame: :flame:
:borg: :borg: :borg:

[Asmodeus]

i dolt you not to try fisting yourself. you'll pop a hemmorhoid.

[mustelus]

So why ARE you bleeding in your ass?

[spurr]

So why ARE you bleeding in your ass?

Beacuse he took a large dose of man-love rectally :fag:

[Deimos]

It's obvoius but it has to be said:
http://www.webpost.net/sa/salamander37/rejected004.gif

[asskickergod]

So why ARE you bleeding in your ass?

Horse love?

http://www.trephination.net/gallery/macros/homo.gif

[and3w]

Did you just have a major pipe-laying episode? Can you tell if the blood is bright or dark red? If you run tissue over your arse-hole do you get blood on it? Is it staining underwear a while *after* you have a dump?
Any other symptoms?
Run 'Hijack This' and post the results...(oops, not the last one but answers to the others may help),

[thingy]

So why ARE you bleeding in your ass?
Because LIFE IS GOOOOOOD! and THIS IS FUUUN!

(If you don't get it, look for rejected.avi and enjoy).

[and3w]

i dolt you not to try fisting yourself. you'll pop a hemmorhoid.

Anyone else note the self-knowledge needed for this answer?
I 'dolt' you not! ;)

[Asmodeus]

oh like i'm the only one to draw a face on my fist, put a minners helmet wih a light on it in a dark room and jams it wholesale in my ass in front of a mirror to see if it'll make my balls light up in the dark.

[johny_roberts]

You are supposed to de-claw gerbils first before you stick them in the tube and insert them up your ass..

[mustelus]

oh like i'm the only one to draw a face on my fist, put a minners helmet wih a light on it in a dark room and jams it wholesale in my ass in front of a mirror to see if it'll make my balls light up in the dark.

Yes. Yes you are. Most normal people don't bother with all that stupid face drawing - it obstructs the serious scientific experimentation.

[asskickergod]

http://www.trephination.net/uploads/379.jpg

[wolfpac181]

And it's not from a large dose of man-love either!!!


Go for a jog. you'll feel much better.

[asskickergod]

http://www.trephination.net/uploads/168.jpg

[SOC]

I can sense the goaste man coming soon..

[and3w]

You people are sick; do you have no compassion for a perfectly reasonable question? Would you have mocked if it had been his fist that had got hurt as it was inserted..*shakes head* Oh dear, dear, dear..

[amj]

Oh asmo, why didn't i listen to your advice?

I admit it, it was a hefty bout of SELF love!! :rolleyes:

Man it hurts sitting on this cushioned chair.

Btw guys I know the source of my pain but it is too embarassing to reveal.

EDIT: Thank you for all the compassion, those who showed it!

YOU BUNCH OF CUNTS to those who mocked me :)

MEH to those who posted funny but mocking ictures

[thingy]

You people are sick; do you have no compassion for a perfectly reasonable question? Would you have mocked if it had been his fist that had got hurt as it was inserted..*shakes head* Oh dear, dear, dear..
Well, he DID post in B&R with not much for us to really go on and it was questionable from the first post whether he was serious or not. How were we meant to respond?

[asskickergod]

Btw guys I know the source of my pain but it is too embarassing to reveal.

More embarassing than this?

http://www.trephination.net/uploads/13.jpg

[gunsella]

you might need more fibre in your diet.

try psyllium husks from the health food isle in the supermarket.

[Munchkin]

I can sense the goaste man coming soon..


Quick, someone give him some tissues!

[Asmodeus]

i know i know, i've spent a lot of time in emergency rooms after breaking something. i've heard all you types excuses.. you just came out of the shower and were all relaxed and just happened to sit on that lightbulb / gerbil / 2 liter pepsi bottle / barbie doll head / swedish suregrip fisting hammer / toyota corolla, etc. and it just happened to slip into your ass along with teh contents of half a jar of vaseline.

don't worry buddy, we beleive you.

[amj]

Hahaha I think some people have got the wrong end of the stick here. My embarassment is for completely different reasons than the ones suggested here.

And besides, I sure as hell wouldn't complain about my arse hurting if it was due to self love. I would be boasting!

[StudMuffin]

just don't wipe your arse while shaving

[Asmodeus]

Hahaha I think some people have got the wrong end of the stick here. My embarassment is for completely different reasons than the ones suggested here.

well what teh hell posessed you to moon the gay pride parade anyways?

[Directed]

And it's not from a large dose of man-love either!!!

:fag: :fag: :fag: That man-loving put a huge hurt on your ass, didn't it amj? :fag: :fag: :fag:


/I'm just willing to bet the +rep I get from all you mockers will greatly outway your feeble attempts to take away my rep ;)

[amj]

:fag: :fag: :fag: That man-loving put a huge hurt on your ass, didn't it amj? :fag: :fag: :fag:


/I'm just willing to bet the +rep I get from all you mockers will greatly outway your feeble attempts to take away my rep ;)

LOL. please could everyone just de-rep him for a laugh? To teach him a lesson?

[mcrand]

do you have roid rage

[mcrand]

what the hell is that?

[Juice Biscuit]

I know, he has a fistola, no that's not Italian for fisting, it's some sort of butthole bleeding.


I think it's called fistola although I could be completly wrong, never being afflicted with the said aflicction.



(I only just woke up so if my spelling is a little off you can have a voucher that will let you suck my cock for free)

[Merudo]

what the hell is that?
roid rage in the sense he's talking about is probably someone who has haemerroids but is angry with them, and subsequently after going to the toilet goes into a frenzy causing blood to be spilt, you get the idea

[Serpent_Girl]

MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!*


* Anyone who doesn't get this should stab themselves and leech more.

[ersatz]

it's spelt fistula

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fistula

ew.

[Asmodeus]

and an innuendo is an italian suppository, right?

[ShinymetalASS]

Worked in a pharmacy for a bunch of years while at uni. You my boy, either have haemmeroids or bowel cancer.

I's say its Column A on that one though. And fortunately for you, all products in this genre have wonderful names that will make it really comfortable for you to go into a pharmacy and request. Things like Rectinol and Anusol. Enjoy.

[Asmodeus]

... and good ol preparation H

[dwarfthrower]

Worked in a pharmacy for a bunch of years while at uni. You my boy, either have haemmeroids or bowel cancer.

Or an anal fissure... http://www.zug.com/scrawl/analbob/

[ersatz]

ah, good old Bob.

[King_Crud]

You are supposed to de-claw gerbils first before you stick them in the tube and insert them up your ass..

Don't you reckon the gerbil looks like he's taking a wizz on a wall

[johny_roberts]

Don't you reckon the gerbil looks like he's taking a wizz on a wall

Actually it does I think Amj was being a nice fellow and let the gerbil take a piss before he shoved it up his rectum. What a nice fellow.

[amj]

Actually it does I think Amj was being a nice fellow and let the gerbil take a piss before he shoved it up his rectum. What a nice fellow.

You think I did it for the gerbil?

[asskickergod]

I bought a gerbil
at the petting zoo
If richard grear can do it
I can too
I get undress
I start to lube
I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube
Wondering just how he'll feel
Will he like it better than his little wheel
Careful now he's right beside me
One more inch and he's inside me
Goooo, gerbil, go
Burrow harder, burrow deeper
be my little chimney sweeper
one thing i forgot about
how am i supposed to get you out
so now my gerbil is on easy street
its more than cozy and theres plenty to eat
got to find a way to get him out of his hole
i tried crobars i tried wires
i almost had him with a pair of plyers
i tried cheese but he's not biting
i wish this wasn't so exciting
Goooo, gerbil, go
Jesus, I am such a sucker
Please get out you furry f***er
I think I am getting ill
Suddenly he is very very still
Now its too late
My gerbil died
I guess I have committed gerbicide
Here's some advice its very clear cutt
If you love your gerbil
Don't stick him up your butt
Don't stick him up your butt
Little furry gerbil in your booty hole

[and3w]

OK! I admit it..you are either a plagiarising son of a bitch or a genius!
Either way..I finally have to give up and rep you, much as you dislike it

[johny_roberts]

OK! I admit it..you are either a plagiarising son of a bitch or a genius!
Either way..I finally have to give up and rep you, much as you dislike it

I was thinking the same fucking thing god dammit....

[asskickergod]

Don't give me the credit, it's a song by Stephen Lynch. I figured most people had heard it before since he's been around for quite a few years.

[johny_roberts]

Don't give me the credit, it's a song by Stephen Lynch. I figured most people had heard it before.

Let me guess the song is called "Gerbil."

[asskickergod]

Let me guess the song is called "Gerbil."

Yep, he's got an album out too. If you've got the money buy it it's hilarious. If you don't, steal it.

[johny_roberts]

Yep, he's got an album out too. If you've got the money buy it it's hilarious. If you don't, steal it.

Sold!! Have a gift certificate for best buy guess I can use it on that........

[Asmodeus]

same here. still got a gift card from christmas i still have to use.

maybe they'll have some john valby stuff there too.