Working in Retail

[Whiskers]

My name is Whiskers and I have a problem. I work in retail. These are the types of people I interact with.

Fat Bitch in Denial: This customer has body dismorphic syndrome. She is roughly a size fourteen, which of itself is not a bad thing, except she is convinced she is a size 8. After making me scurry around the store picking out jeans and skirts in "her" size, she proceeds to try every article of clothing on and then get the shits at me because she can't get anything to come past her fat infused knees. She then throws the pile of now crumpled clothing in my general direction and waddles off.

Tightarse Jerkface Can I Have a Discount: This customer is most easily recognised by their manouvering in the store. They will ignore the entire front half of the shop and head straight to the back corner of the shop to be met with Tightarse Mecca, a.k.a The Sale Wall. After ferreting around, they will find the most disgusting and consequentially cheapest item to buy. Then, they will ask for a discount. Always. The top may cost $10 but they want to haggle. 'But what if I pay cash?' says TJCIHAD. 'This is not the fucking markets you rabid turnip fucker, get the fuck out of my store before I poke your eyes out with a coathanger' is the response I would prefer, instead I must smile and tell Jerkface, that I cannot give any further discounts.

The Public Wanker: Seemingly normal looking human being- with a secret fetish! Wanking in changerooms! So he wants to by a pair of jeans- I recommend a few styles. Freako goes into the changeroom. I come back a bit later to check on him and as I walk past, his door is slightly open and he is standing there, completely nekkid, tugging away furiously at his insignifigant doodle. My only course is to ignore him, and when he finally leaves, I notice he has been kind enough to leave a puddle of man milk on the floor for me. Yay.

[dilligaf]

People are stupid. I learnt that in retail.

[Hired Goon]

I come back a bit later to check on him and as I walk past, his door is slightly open and he is standing there, completely nekkid, tugging away furiously at his insignifigant doodle
I think I have a problem :p ;)

Seriously though, I'm glad I don't work in retail. Just going to retail stresses me out!

[Juice Biscuit]

The Public Wanker: Seemingly normal looking human being- with a secret fetish! Wanking in changerooms! So he wants to by a pair of jeans- I recommend a few styles. Freako goes into the changeroom. I come back a bit later to check on him and as I walk past, his door is slightly open and he is standing there, completely nekkid, tugging away furiously at his insignifigant doodle. My only course is to ignore him, and when he finally leaves, I notice he has been kind enough to leave a puddle of man milk on the floor for me. Yay.



Setup a video camera and sell it on the net.


Help recoup the costs from the tight arses

[mistral]

I feel your pain as i currently work in retail

Let me add a few more types

The bum gronk: Comes in covered in dirty clothes and smells like he hasn't showered in a month, bad breath, greasy hair and unshaven. This guy buys the possible cheapest of cheap items you have , usually only your reduced stock and when the guy does buy it , he pulls out from his swagy bag, (not this guy doesn't carry a wallet most likely he cant afford one)and 100 fuckin tiny coins all old and covered in filth and because he's maths isn't very good he just dumps them all on the counter, for you to count.
Then trying to get any sort of communication going is almost imposible, he talks like a retard and most likely he is one. Upon leaving he will mumble "which way to the nearest grog shop?" Everytime you see this guy, he is wearing the exact same clothes.

The serial whinger : This person is most will most likely show up during the middle of the day, when everyone else is out working she's out shopping cause shes got nothing better to do and so the only thing she can do is going around whinging and finding shit to complain about because shes a sad fuck , This person is usually 50+ and sometimes you get the crazy old fart version who escaped from the home and hasn't taken her medication. This person is pissed off from the moment they enter the store and all they will do is find shit to complain about. The thing is they wont go to the manager they will tell the clerk and ramble on about shit thats mostly outside of your control.
You would think after haven't complained so much they wouldn't come back but Oh no this person comes back again and again to complain more and more. Once they have run out of shit to complain about they will complain about shit in the papers and how this is terrible and thats terrible. No matter how much you try to ignore this person they wont shut up. Everytime you see her you just fantasize about her getting run down by a bus.

oh and theres the guy who.... ah fuck it

[gunsella]

i used to work in retail....

my favourite customers: MILFS (http://images.google.com/images?q=milf&btnG=Google+Search)

[walrus]

im glad I don't work in retail.

[dilligaf]

After working in retail people call me a racist, but you know what. I hate all my customers equally. There is no descrimination involved. All my customers smoke the pole. :fag:

[AntZ]

Psh, for a proper characterisation of stupid customers you should watch the movie John Cleese made on that very subject :D It was quite amusing and accurate.

[RedMaN]

To quote one of my fave movies of all time... "Just because we serve you, doesn't mean we have to like you". :D

I use to work in retail as well and the only thing that differed each day was the amount of shit that customers/my boss gave me.
"Why are the bananas so green?"
"I dunno lady, I just pack 'em... I don't grow 'em".

[dilligaf]

I work to earn money so I can eventually move out of this dump that I'm living in. When I work I expect to quietly pack a few shelves and not to be bothered by the people that swarm to my work. I work at a supermarket so that is generally not possible (yes go ahead, say what you want, I work in a supermarket) but I still cling on to that small hope.

I seem to get the same sort of stupid questions every week, but there is one that I get every week without fail. Every week some moron asks me the most pointless question ever. "Do you work here?" Now this may seem like a reasonable question, right? WRONG. Not only am I packing shit onto a shelf, but I am in my extremely shitty work uniform. This uniform is so crappy that you could spot me in a crowd of 20000 people.

Appropriate response to their question "No, I like packing shelves. I do it all the time for fun." After I say this they then get my size 12 straight in the stomach.

I wish that I could say that, but I have to keep my job so I can get out of this dump. So I end up responding with a polite "yes." After that there is bit of a variation, but it usually goes something like this. "Do you know where the <insert name of item here> is?"

Appropriate response "Fuck off! I'm busy" and a size 12 straight in the stomach...again.

Oh, that right, I'm at work and I need the money. Damn it. So I generally go, "Just over there," or "In Aisle <insert number here>" The general answer is behind them because people are so lazy.

When I go into a grocery store I will always use the signs on the end of the aisle to find an item. If I still can't find the item that I want I will walk out of the store. I will never ask for anything because if I can't find the item easily, then that store doesn't deserve my business.

Simple solution to the problem: don't talk to me because I couldn't care less. If you do I will respond with "Fuck off! I'm busy," and then you will meet my size 12 in person.

[mjolnir]

cute gal: hi, can you tell me where i can find <insert name of lubricant>?

betcha wouldn't say no...

[dwarfthrower]

Simple solution to the problem: don't talk to me because I couldn't care less. If you do I will respond with "Fuck off! I'm busy," and then you will meet my size 12 in person.

Heh... some of us have size twelves of our own, superiority complexes and no fear of losing our jobs if we do unload on you ;)

[Asmodeus]

glad I never worked retail, I actually had standards.


Did work security tho. boy, do you see a whole other side of life and personalities in general at that point. Tho in defense of that job, for as many people that hate you, if you get a decent enough client, it becomes a non issue.

had one time before when I wouldn't let the (unknown to me at the time) vice president of the company in becuase he wouldn't show ID and actuall yhad police on the way to have him taken out of the building for not leaving on request when the owner (who did show ID) asked what was going on and so I let him know. HE layed into the VP about procedures, then went to grill me about letting him in when he wanted to at which point i went into our special training of saying 'sorry, I can't do that. You'll have to speak with my supervisor about that. I appologize, but I have my orders and if I break them, I get in trouble, not you." etc. after 5 minutes of badgering he stopped suddenly, said he was glad they finally sent in someone who knew what they were doing and sprung for lunch to be delivered for the week.

I coupld get used to that, but fuck.. the pay is shit unless you're actuall yin a dangerous position.

[Thyrd]

I could never work in retail. I hate random people and dealing with them.

[ersatz]

"Would you rather work retail or have a nail driven through your hand?"

"What kind of nail?"

- Too Much Coffee Man

[Sinwah]

I work in souvenir retail, and sadly you can pretty much class what stupid questions people will ask depending on what country they are from.

Just a quick disclaimer, I'm not racist, so please don't blast me for any of these comments, they are just observations from working with people from many, many different countries.

Germany: Nicest people to serve (the women are usually damned hot). Tend to ask for a discount alot, but only when its a pretty hefty purchase (which I have no problem in giving)

British: In general, very nice people. Usually ask about party places and comment on how nice people in Australia are, as people in London don't give a damn about eachother.

Scottish and Irish: Favourite. Accent. Ever. Tend to ask about party venues in Brisbane. Will talk NON-STOP if you get them started.

Japanese: This is a bit iffy. Old/Adult Japanese men tend to be really really assy and mean, and always ask for a discount no matter how low the purchase is (I was asked for a discount on a 40c postcard once). Old/Adult Japanese women are usually alright, very polite about everything, however still ask for bloody discounts at the drop of a hat. Young Japanese people are usually very cool and like to learn some slang from us (taught one girl what an old codger meant and she walked up to everyone in the store and called them one). The young-uns are usually too scared of Aussies to ask for discounts though.

Chinese: The only thing that gives me the shits is that I am yet to have a Chinese customer that can speak English at all. Discounts up the wazoo again.

Americans: Oh Lord how I detest most American tourists. They comment on how shit souvenirs are, how much our country sucks and make comparisons of everything we have to the U.S. Once you get past that crusty exterior, they tend to be nice people, very accomodating with general chatting (especially if you show any knowledge about their country) and usually big spenders with no discounts (booya).

Australians: WORST CUSTOMERS EVER. Constant comments on how tacky stuff is. ALWAYS asking for discounts because they are Australian. Stupid, stupid questions about obvious stuff. Especially Aussie soccer mums, meanest, crankies people in the world, I swear.

[StAUG]

Thank christ I've only ever been in the army. Closest I've had to working retail was only 1 day cooking for 100+ people on a smallish BBQ. With 1 other person. The first time some dumb bitch came up and asked me 'is this meat cooked yet' in regards to the pinkish/red snags she'd wached me put on the grill 10 seconds before, it just seemed funny, but thank fuck I don't do it for a living, and that since it's not my job and i wasn't getting paid I could dish out all the sass I wanted to.

[fmian]

I've worked in retail sales for a couple of years now. Best thing to do is learn how and when to break a conversation. Learn how to pick who the time wasters are. And learn it fast.

[Glompbot]

I used to work in retail.

It was a gem/hippie/magic shop, i just kinda hung out there after work because I knew the owners and I usually had an hours wait before my bus would arrive....
So I started helping out, and then they started giving me lifts home (they lived near me), and then they started paying me for doing that.

I think because of the type of store it was, I never really had any issues with customers. And they constantly had friends drop by, and i've had my aura read with dowsing rods and all cool stuff like that.

Working in the local government library though... jesus christ
there was a guy who would come in every week, with a case of beer, leave it at the front desks, and then run inside for a few hours, then grab it on his way out.

he smelt really fucking bad.

Also had some weird guy follow me around the foreign language section (which is for some reason always a dark area of the library.... I never figured it out)

I felt more comfortable at the smaller library (i was shifted between two libraries in the area) when each shelver was given a personal alarm.

[Manshoon]

Ah retail work. Working for a PC store was fun.....you could always distinguish the customers pretty much as they walked in the door. There were those that knew a lot and were freindly.....those that knew nothing and were after good advice....and then you got the I THINK I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU CANT TELL ME ANYTHING type who obviously had no clue except what someone told them 12 months ago.

I still remember arguing with a customer over him wanting a AMD processor on a P4 motherboard because he had heard that that motherboard and processor were the "best on the market" at the time. He just couldnt understand why we couldnt make them work together.

Now I work in wholesale.....its improved a little but still get idiots who cant follow simple instructions.....I run goods receiving so if a customer sends goods back and it has no RMA number I cant accept it. I had one guy send a package back 5 times writing little notes on the box each time.....I kept rejecting it till he finally called and abused me. I just quoted the policy which is printed it BOLD on the RA form to him and told him to follow it and hung up the phone.

[Cassa]

I worked in a supermarket deli for 5 years. It was hell. Sometimes there would be nice customers and I would put in effort for them (cut things fresh, give them a bit extra, advise them not to buy the 'specials' as they were crap quality) but mostly they were all idiots. I saw any amount of arsehole behaviour from customers.

You could bet anything you liked on the fact that as soon as you cleaned the meat slicer at night, some idiot would then come along and wanted something sliced fresh for them (usually at 10pm at night mind you. Fuck off!) I constantly had people complaining about the price of things as if I were personally responsible. Towards the end of my stint there I started asking said people if they wanted me to ring up head office and ask for the price to be lowered just for them. Customers always bitched if we didn't have something in stock, again as if I were personally responsible for ordering it. Parents always expected free slices of meat for their children, but when they asked for 'something for the kids' I would weigh it, price it and wrap it. One parent had the audacity to say they didn't want it if they had to pay for it. Hey lady this isn't a free meat shop, take your shitty fat spoiled kids somewhere else. Every single fucking customer I served in a five year period started their order with 'Ummmmm...I'll have...ah..' People got indignant when the ham on special for 6.99 a kg was not top quality double smoked on the bone, but bought 2 kg of it 'sliced fresh and extra thin' anyway. It didn't matter how crappy the meat on special was, people would buy way more than they could use. I had someone try to return some ham because they bought too much, didn't use it and it went off after 2 weeks in the fridge. And they wanted new ham.

I have to agree with the comment above about certain types of customers always wanting discounts. They got really pissed off when I said that this was a business, not an open-air market and I had no authority to give discounts no matter how 'bulk' the purchase was.

[kré]

I had someone try to return some ham because they bought too much, didn't use it and it went off after 2 weeks in the fridge. And they wanted new ham.

http://www.crayonline.com/smilies/bowrofl.gif

[metalgod]

Hope that public wanker person isnt real.. yuck.. wtf is wrong with people.

[dilligaf]

Oh god, i had a gem on Sunday at work.

Immigrant lady: (nothing against women.....or immigrants) "tisdbirle veeks, where?"

Me: "Huh?"

Customer: "tisdbirle veeeeks."

Me: "what do you want?"

Customer: *pulls out used tissue points at it* "veeeks smell tisdbirle"

Me: "Ohhh, you want tissues that smell like vicks. Right. They're this way. *walks round to aisle 3* *pulls out a Kleenex Eucalyptus box* "There you go"

Customer: *Pulls box up to nose. Sniffs box* "Zis not smell like veeeks"

Me: "*laughs* No, no. The box doesnt smell like it the tissues do."

Customer: *smells box again*

Me: *Grabs box off customer. Rips it open and takes out ONE tissue and hands it to the customer*

Customer: *smells, looks up and smiles* "Yes, yes"

Me: *hands customer the box*

Customer: "no, no. open."

Me: *snatches box out of her hands. grabs one off the shelf and as walking off throws new box at customer* *mumbles: "Fucking moron"*

[Moga2]

Working in hospitality you strike the same type of idiots, the people who order stuff and then send it back cause they say its not right ask for another meal instead (usually a more expensive one).... or even better the people who tell you their meal was shit and they want a discount or they wont pay for it, this after you see that everything on their plate has been eaten, all i want to say is "well it couldn't of been to bad, you ate it all.... now stop complaining pay your bill and fuck off"

[haiironezumi]

I've actually done that before Moga2, I told them "If you had voiced the complaint at the beginning of the meal I could have had chef check the food or replace it for you, but since you already ate it all you have to pay for it. It's about this time I wish there was a surcharge button. :P

[dilligaf]

Working in hospitality you strike the same type of idiots, the people who order stuff and then send it back cause they say its not right ask for another meal instead (usually a more expensive one).... or even better the people who tell you their meal was shit and they want a discount or they wont pay for it, this after you see that everything on their plate has been eaten, all i want to say is "well it couldn't of been to bad, you ate it all.... now stop complaining pay your bill and fuck off"
On that point, working in a supermarket. The number of people i see with numerous $50 notes in their wallet fishing around their wallet for an extra 5c so they can pay for their food. "Oh damn. I need 5 more cents. I dont know if i have it. Hold on."

They seem to keep making the hint that they want a 5c discount. I just stand there motionless and customers behind them start to get the shits.

Note: If you have the money use it! Those discounts add up, and if my drawer is short I have to pay for the difference. I serve and average of 300 people on my 4 hour Sunday stint on register. Assuming all of them get a 5c discount, it means I'm out of pocket by $15.

Don't be a cunt next time you're at the supermarket, you're not going to get a discount, just pay for it!

[ezer]

hehehe where i go shopping sometimes, i get huge discounts, like cases of coke for like 3 dollars and stuff

[minorproblem]

The Public Wanker: Seemingly normal looking human being- with a secret fetish! Wanking in changerooms! So he wants to by a pair of jeans- I recommend a few styles. Freako goes into the changeroom. I come back a bit later to check on him and as I walk past, his door is slightly open and he is standing there, completely nekkid, tugging away furiously at his insignifigant doodle. My only course is to ignore him, and when he finally leaves, I notice he has been kind enough to leave a puddle of man milk on the floor for me. Yay.
Whoa!!! People like that actually exist? ew...

[StAUG]

Christ what the fuck are you going to do with FIVE fucking cents anyway.

[thingy]

On that point, working in a supermarket. The number of people i see with numerous $50 notes in their wallet fishing around their wallet for an extra 5c so they can pay for their food. "Oh damn. I need 5 more cents. I dont know if i have it. Hold on."

They seem to keep making the hint that they want a 5c discount. I just stand there motionless and customers behind them start to get the shits.

Note: If you have the money use it! Those discounts add up, and if my drawer is short I have to pay for the difference. I serve and average of 300 people on my 4 hour Sunday stint on register. Assuming all of them get a 5c discount, it means I'm out of pocket by $15.

Don't be a cunt next time you're at the supermarket, you're not going to get a discount, just pay for it!
I do that quite a lot, but it isn't because I want a measely discount - it's because I want to get rid of some of this god damned change so my wallet isn't pressing in to me and hurting me when I sit down! That and I've come across stores many a time that have run out of change, so I feel it probably helps them a little too.

[Glompbot]

Usually people give up after a few seconds if they can't find the change, i think they're talking about a different type of "only 5 more cents" than you are thingy.

I had a bus driver once THANK me for all the change I paid in.... :D

[Afro88]

I used to work in a supermarket, and quickly realised that people weren't being pricks when they couldn't find the last 20/10/5c, they were simply trying to avoid the wad of change they'd receive if they gave you a $50/$100 note. I actually thanked people too if they gave me say $22.25 for something that cost $12.25 because it means I didn't have to give away my precious change that may run out later on in the day. If they couldn't find the change and had to give me a $50 or a $20, they'd go "sorry, I don't have the change"

Depending on what part of town you work in, most people aren't pricks unless they have good reason to be. There's a select few that seem to enjoy being assholes and squeezing 5c pieces, but most people are just like you and want as little trouble as possible, unless something pisses them off.

[Tintin]

Heheh not meaning to spoil your bitch sessions but you can tell it to the poor sods working in the Chinese sweatshops from whom you take a 90% markup. :D

[~vjay~]

Christ what the fuck are you going to do with FIVE fucking cents anyway.

Did I read somewhere the New Zealand government wants to delete all of the 5 cent coins?

The one & two cent coins were understandable, but the poor little five cent coins :confused:

Will Aussie five cent coins follow this path.

[haiironezumi]

Delete them? what will happen, they'll disappear from existence? or will they jump out of our pockets and into the nearest trash can?

[Blunt]

I've posted a few rants about my retail experiences here before. Here's one from the past of week;


There is a mother and her son waiting at the counter. I walk behind the register and ask "Hi, can I help you guys?". The son is staring off into space but is quickly brought back to this reality when his chromagnon mum thumps him in the arm and bellows "THE MAN IS TALKING TO YOU! TALK TO THE MAN!". Ah, Westies.

After a whole lot of repeating myself and trying to dumb down my speil to the lowest point that if there were any plankton in the store they would feel their intelligence had been insulted, they finally decided to buy a Nintendo DS. Now instead of giving me foldable money or some kind of futuristic plastic paying device, they give me over a hundred dollars worth of coins and a bag of games so old and shit that fire would of been too good. Shaq Fu on MegaDrive? What the fuck, lady?!

Luckily there are a few gameboy and PSOne games that my work still deem acceptable to be used for trading, so I spend the next 10 minutes counting out the coins. The register won't even close. They are all screaming and beating their chests at each other. My brain hurts. I give them their purchase and wish them a good day in the hopes they leave quickly. The kid turns around and says "You got any wrestlin' games for this?". Westies till the end.

[dilligaf]

I do that quite a lot, but it isn't because I want a measely discount - it's because I want to get rid of some of this god damned change so my wallet isn't pressing in to me and hurting me when I sit down! That and I've come across stores many a time that have run out of change, so I feel it probably helps them a little too.
No, no. I think you have taken me the wrong way. I don't mind the change at all. In fact, i like it. Its the point where they have no coins left in their wallet, and pretend to keep looking for the 5c coin when i can enough money in the note in their wallet. The people who i am taking about still have the nerve to ask for a discount. Tight-wads. They have the money to pay for the food, so they should pay.

If someone is genuinely out of money and the dont make a big fuss over it, i will tell them not to worry about the last few cents. Generally if they are a regular customer i'm willing ot let them go with not paying up to $10. Ill pay that out of my own pocket becuase they give me the money nex time they see me. I just really hate it when people fish around for a discount.

[StAUG]

Ahhh megadrive... I miss it so. And the Scope 6. I can't find that fucking thing anywhere!

[Al]

After working at Maccas for 5 years i lost faith in humanity entirely. Nothing even comes close.

Not only do you have to deal with retarded customers, but retarded managers... I really enjoy having things explained to me by someone with a brain the size of a fucking PEA, that will spend the rest of their lives earning less than what I make 3 years out of uni.

Add to this working your balls off for 8 hours and dealing with stupid amounts of brain dead sheep after their burger without any pickles.

For this reason i've always been the best customer i can be. I've developed a serious hatred of useless retail staff with no humour or politeness. If i could keep it up for 5 years buddy, SO CAN YOU.

[bronco]

I used to work at the cinema and almost every person I ever serve sucked ass. I sort of remember a nice person, but that was just a once off...

People always whinge about stupid shit that I can't help. Especially people who complain about not liking the movie... What the FUCK am I going to do about that???

Also, working in an ISP helpdesk I get sick of stupid people, like those who blame me for them getting a virus. I especially hate people that lie. People will make a silly mistake, like a typo, or unplugging the wrong power point or something and blame me for it not working. When I ask them to check and double-check the problem (which is usually obvious) they will straight out lie and then say, "Oh, its OK I fixed it... beep... beep... beep"

In general people suck and the less I have to deal with the dead shits out there the happier I am.

[skylar]

I love using my credit card as it's just quicker. You get silly people behind you tapping their impatient feet waiting for the docket come out and for me to sign it, but it's better than me fumbling around with my purse with money and change and I don't like disorganisation.

[JumpinJez]

Note: If you have the money use it! Those discounts add up, and if my drawer is short I have to pay for the difference. I serve and average of 300 people on my 4 hour Sunday stint on register. Assuming all of them get a 5c discount, it means I'm out of pocket by $15.

Don't be a cunt next time you're at the supermarket, you're not going to get a discount, just pay for it!

That's so not allowed. DO you get to keep any of the extra money if the till is over at the end of the day?

I did 8 1/2 years hard labour at a Supermarket. I had many many annoying customers.

The Eh Lady A small (like 4ft) old fat asian lady who's only word seemed to be eh. She could say it with many tones and different lenghts to try and get her meaning across. Eh.....Eeeeh. EeeHH meant "Excuse me sir, I have this reduced bag of Mangos, of which I have swapped out all but one of the old over ripe mangos for fresh ones and still want a discount on it."

We had other knobs, but its been more than 5 years since I worked there, so I don't remember much, just a general hatred of the public.

[Fleur]

I love this thread, has honestly made my day.

I work in a bakery/cafe and i hate:

The parents who force cakes down their kids throats because they're cheap: We sell off most of our cakes etc cheap at the end of the night and we have these parents bringing their kids over after school, asking them if they'd like a couple of donuts. When they say "no" (and a surprising number of them actually do say that) mum goes on and on and on and on about them "missing out them" and buys a bunch anyway because "they're cheap" and they apparently support childhood obesity.

I deserve a treat fatties: These ones are usually regulars, again, coming to get cheap cakes, and request that we give them 5 of the stickesy, creamest little buns of fat to them day after day because "What's life if you can't treat yourself every now and then?!"

I also wonder if i can bring in the same rules that bars etc have: can't serve alcohol to a drunk person - I can't serve that sugary cream filled bun to a fat person.

[dilligaf]

I love this thread, has honestly made my day.

I work in a bakery/cafe and i hate:

The parents who force cakes down their kids throats because they're cheap: We sell off most of our cakes etc cheap at the end of the night and we have these parents bringing their kids over after school, asking them if they'd like a couple of donuts. When they say "no" (and a surprising number of them actually do say that) mum goes on and on and on and on about them "missing out them" and buys a bunch anyway because "they're cheap" and they apparently support childhood obesity.

I deserve a treat fatties: These ones are usually regulars, again, coming to get cheap cakes, and request that we give them 5 of the stickesy, creamest little buns of fat to them day after day because "What's life if you can't treat yourself every now and then?!"

I also wonder if i can bring in the same rules that bars etc have: can't serve alcohol to a drunk person - I can't serve that sugary cream filled bun to a fat person.
As yet, i still have yet to see a bar refuse to serve me because i am drunk.

[Something Fast]

I'm a register bitch, and the most annoying customers would have to be the ones who bring a whole trolley full of crap the the checkout and decide whether they really want each item as I'm scanning the items, or right before the end of the transaction.
"How much is this? Are you sure that's the right price?"
"I'll contact section X for you."
"Yeah, that's the correct price".
"Oh, I don't want it then".
Repeat that for 20 or 30 items.

There's one dumbbitch who does that, then gets annoyed that there are a whole shitload of voided items on her receipt. So I have to go through the receipt with her item by item, showing her what I've voided etc. Then she thinks I'm overcharging her, so I get the calculator out of the drawer and show her the adding up, then she does it herself and goes "oh. Sorry".

This pretty much happens every damn week.


The other most annoying customers are the ones who won't take your word that something isn't stocked "So you don't stock Left-handed bilge pump replacement valves? WHAT DO YOU STOCK?"

I think the stupid question award would have to go to the customers who ask me where the registers are when I'm doorbitch. Seriously, you can see rows and rows of the damn things.

[Chodus]

Dane Cook is gold. This reminded me so much of working Maccas Drive Thru every fucking Saturday morning when i was younger.

RMpQVxKI6W4


After that i worked for Oporto for 4 years as a Restaurant Manager. My store was right near a methadone clinic so we used to get all the fucking insane nuts coming in. I don't know how i did it for so long. Friday nights when people would come in tanked was the worst. People constantly ordering something then coming back saying they ordered it without something, yelling and fucken screening their heads off. Dodgy pricks stealing drinks straight from the drink fridges in clear view of all the staff. Thank fuck i don't still work in retail.

[Glompbot]

hahah you also had to deal with ozemail employees. You poor bastard.

[Chodus]

They were........acceptable =D

[Fleur]

my sister (who works at target) told me that on the weekend she had a lady ask for a discount on a battery operated toy.

She wanted the discount because the batteries would be a little flat since people would have pressed buttons and used up some of the battery life while it was in the store.

:deadhorse

[King_Crud]

Dane Cook is gold. This reminded me so much of working Maccas Drive Thru every fucking Saturday morning when i was younger.

RMpQVxKI6W4


After that i worked for Oporto for 4 years as a Restaurant Manager. My store was right near a methadone clinic so we used to get all the fucking insane nuts coming in. I don't know how i did it for so long. Friday nights when people would come in tanked was the worst. People constantly ordering something then coming back saying they ordered it without something, yelling and fucken screening their heads off. Dodgy pricks stealing drinks straight from the drink fridges in clear view of all the staff. Thank fuck i don't still work in retail.
was that Oportos on Enmore Rd?

I've never really worked in retail, sucked in for the rest of you

[Kez]

I worked as a floor manager at a Chinese restaurant when I was in TAFE.

We always had the same rude obnoxious transit officers come in and one night the dumb one of the group asked for the deep fried bannana split without any toppings. I informed him that the way we cook it, it has to come out with the sugar coating on it as that's how the batter holds together after you take it out of the oil. He said that was fine and I took it out to him.

5 minutes later after he's eaten 3/4 of it he calls me over and says he doesn't like the sugar coating and doesn't want to pay for it, and wants another as it ruined his meal. I say "I'm sorry, you've eaten 3/4 of the dish, I can't give a refund". After trying to argue with me I gave the same response. He then refused to pay for the whole meal, along with the rest of his cronies.

So I stayed quiet, pulled out my order menu and started writing down all the names on their name tags. He asked me what I was doing, I said "Well it's not going to be hard to report you to the police for walking out of the restaurant after not paying now that I have your full names *whilst pointing towards their name tags* and know who you work for, is it?"

Needless to say they payed the meal, and they were back again next week and life went on.

Moral of the story? Customers are cunts, and don't, really really really don't fuck with people who serve you your food...

[Aardvark]

They hire white people in chinese restaurants? And allow them to manage?

Wow, the world's changed so much since my day.

[Something Fast]

Transit officers give swine a bad name. They're almost always seriously damn thick and always seem to be tripping balls on the authority someone was stupid enough to give them.

[RedMaN]

was that Oportos on Enmore Rd?
I think he was referencing the Oportos at St Leonards, right near the station.
Especially he had anything to do ozemail employees.

[King_Crud]

I think he was referencing the Oportos at St Leonards, right near the station.
Especially he had anything to do ozemail employees.
que? There's a methadone clinic almost next door to Oportos on Enmore Rd, i didn't realise it was such a common thing. And what's ozemail got to do with it?

[Glompbot]

Ozemail was at st leonards.... hence my comment... I think I was served by him a few times at that store. Actually, I suspect half of ozemail was.

[Chodus]

Yeah i served heaps of ozemail people, the highlight of my Oporto career :)

[skylar]

my sister (who works at target) told me that on the weekend she had a lady ask for a discount on a battery operated toy.


Ask your sister about the old shoes left behind on the racks and stuffed in boots and old bras and undies stuck on the hangers where people have nicked the new ones. My auntie works for Target and she says the amount of used stuff she finds is unbelievable. Feral.