Snap Decisions [Archive]

wanderlust

26-03-2005, 11:40 PM

Much like any other perceptive and thinking person, I put much thought (probably too much) into the state of my relationships and it does have a tendancy to be damned annoying.

I have recently been treated quite poorly by someone I really liked. I still think the guy is interesting, funny, blah blah, but I decided the other day, in almost an instant, that I don't like him, simply because of the way he treated me. I also decided I would keep it to myself so as to not rock the boat and make my self a social outcast, but as is my way, I blurted it out over msn. To quote myself:

Him: Hi
Me: I dont like you
Me: Dont speak to me
Me: Thanks
Him: excuse me? (and continues to go on rant about how insulted he is and how irrational I am)

To recap the events leading up to this....

Meet guy when he has a lover
Guy breaks up with girl
I think hmmm!
We get to flirting
We have a talk about why it is/isnt a good idea for us to be seeing eachother
Do it anyway
Have another little talk discuss how we really like and respect each other and that this may not be a long term thing, but it could be a nice thing
He has ex lover from out of town come stay with him (in his fucking bed I might add) and I have words to say
He informs me that this is normal and I am over reacting
I decide to be a rational easy going person, I have stated my dislike of situation, and turn the other cheek, because I like the guy and I am willing to give trust a go.
I am pretty much ignored in ex lovers company because she might get upset to see us together (how considerate) on reflection I can see how naive I am.
Guy becomes distant, I become curious and ask why?
Guy: "I just want to take things slow"
We eventaully call it quits. I struggle a little, then let it go.

Fast forward a couple of months.

Ex lover becomes guys lover again but not a word is said about it except for other friends referring to them as a couple
I find out that guy is putting moves on ex IN FRONT OF A FRIEND when we were together despite assurances that they were 'just friends'
Subsequently realise that much deceit had been weaved and I looked like an idiot because EVERYONE could see it, but I was kept in the dark
I realise I was used as filler till the ex lover moved to town.

It's wierd when all of a sudden everything comes together and becomes clear and you see things for what they are.

I guess this could also go in rants.

Stuff.

sharpie

26-03-2005, 11:47 PM

here... have a cookie

kré

26-03-2005, 11:49 PM

http://img19.exs.cx/img19/9367/cliff_notes.jpg

wanderlust

27-03-2005, 12:25 AM

Indeed. Felt good to vent tho.

ShinymetalASS

27-03-2005, 12:38 AM

He's a tart.

Decide if you want more than just a fuck.

If so, fuck this guy off.

If not, fuck him. Period.

To reiterate so there is no confusion though:

He is a tart.

:D

perverse.

27-03-2005, 01:08 AM

people = shit.

RedMaN

27-03-2005, 02:03 AM

Sounds like you did the right thing.
I just wish I had your abruptness :O

Aardvark

27-03-2005, 02:12 AM

Last time I made a snap decision, I ended up with a wrecking bar, a hatchet, a meat cleaver, a machette, about ten metres of high tensile rope, a five metre chain and two poles that are designed for removing large pizzas from a hot oven, but do quite as bashing sticks.

kleph

27-03-2005, 02:27 AM

just remember, it's always better to be with someone who wants to be with you.

Glompbot

27-03-2005, 07:00 PM

I realise I was used as filler till the ex lover moved to town.

:(
I know how this feels.

wanderlust

28-03-2005, 08:46 PM

Yes Sapia. It's quite shit. Just remember - he is a cunt and if he did it to you, there is a chance he will do it to her as well.

There is someone better than that for you, and if there isnt, then at least its better with putting up with that kind of rubbish.

Tigress

28-03-2005, 09:59 PM

just remember, it's always better to be with someone who wants to be with you.

Well said!

I have had that happen too. I did the same thing as you - being understanding and naive by sparing the poor ex because it was hard for her to see us together and then finding out that they were together the whole time and I was the one on the side :mad:

The best thing to come out of it - you will know the signs and be able to avoid it ever happening to you again. Just make sure you don't distrust other men because of what one arsehole did to you!

Take care of you...

Glompbot

28-03-2005, 10:08 PM

One asshole?
man, you guys are lucky.

Chocoholic

28-03-2005, 10:15 PM

Karma is your friend........

Tigress

28-03-2005, 10:17 PM

One asshole?
man, you guys are lucky.

Oh noooooooooo! Don't get me wrong, I have definately had my share of arseholes. In fact, there have been VERY few decent ones... I swear I have an tattoo on my forehead that is only visible to men that says "Arseholes apply here", but I'm not giving up, damn it! ;o)

I just meant for that particular situation.

and3w

28-03-2005, 10:20 PM

We aren't all arseholes..it's just the little head telling the big head waht to do.
He sounds a dick, karma will get him, you treat others like shit and sooner or later you will be treated like shit. He has this to look forward too, you have watching it happen to look forward too :-)
You are obviously too good for him, just DO NOT give in if he decides he wants to 'give it another go, we were good together etc.'
A blokes perspective.

wanderlust

28-03-2005, 10:43 PM

He sounds a dick, karma will get him, you treat others like shit and sooner or later you will be treated like shit.

In a perfect world this is true. The sad truth is, assholes often cruise through life with no repocussions for thier actions. The world isnt like hollywood, the bad guys dont always get what they deserve.

Apparantly, success is the best revenge though.....

and3w

28-03-2005, 10:54 PM

Actually, I have to disagree on this..it does come around..may take time, but take it from an old codger, it does :-)

Whiskers

28-03-2005, 11:00 PM

Attn: Women of the World

The guy you are seeing has his ex stay with him- she sleeps in his bed?

This is an unequivocal sign that they are dirty root pigs.

Did you have feelings for him? Generally- a woman who has feelings for a guy she is having casual relations with, will let things slide which she wouldn't if she was in a stable monogamous relationship. I would never judge somebody who has casual sex (been there- more than once) but make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. If you are able to have no strings attached (as in no romantic emotions) sex, then go for it. If you are not, save yourself the eventual pain.

Unless he has a massive doodle.

wanderlust

28-03-2005, 11:11 PM

Loud n Clear Whiskers.

If it was completely casual then I wouldnt have a leg to whinge on, but since we were friends who had discussed and agreed that it was a low key but still exclusive relationship I reserve the right to be upset and annoyed.

ATTENTION MEN OF THE WORLD: If you want a casual fuck, have it with a girl who wants to casually fuck you, don't convince someone (and yourself) that you are doing something else if that is not your desire. Save everyone the trouble.

Whiskers

28-03-2005, 11:17 PM

Aardvark

28-03-2005, 11:27 PM

Of course, there is always the school of thought that is females don't have male friends, just a group of guys who want to fuck them, but aren't good enough... yet

Glompbot

29-03-2005, 07:07 PM

I hate boys.

Sagacious

16-04-2005, 02:19 PM

I hate boys.
me too.

Tintin

16-04-2005, 03:22 PM

To recap the events leading up to this....

Meet guy when he has a lover
Guy breaks up with girl
I think hmmm!
We get to flirting
We have a talk about why it is/isnt a good idea for us to be seeing eachother
Do it anyway
Have another little talk discuss how we really like and respect each other and that this may not be a long term thing, but it could be a nice thing

If I was ordering these events on the Showcase of The Price is Right, I would have locked them in in this order, Larry:

Meet guy
I think hmmm!
(when he has a lover)
We get to flirting
We have a talk about why it is/isnt a good idea for us to be seeing eachother
Do it anyway
Guy breaks up with girl
Have another little talk discuss how we really like and respect each other and that this may not be a long term thing, but it could be a nice thing

That makes much more sense to me! :rolleyes: