The bearded cunt

[gta_gal]

I have a problem with the finance director at my student guild we call him the bearded cunt. He is 58 years old and speaks french and italian BADLY all the time. We don't need a finance director since we hired a full time finance officer but he refuses to relinquish his POWER!!!
He constantly wastes my time by getting me to 'fix' computer problems such as the font on his email (Yes the font he called a meeting and everything the fucking idiot)
He stops anything important being done by complaining about the budget he complains about other directors not pulling their weight but here's the thing...

WE DON'T HAVE ONLY ONE SUBJECT TO DO
AND
WE DON'T HAVE A RICH WIFE TO SUPPORT US WHILE WE EXPLORE OUR EDUCATION

the thing that annoys me most however is he lives on a fucking boat :swear:

[Sagacious]

I have a problem with the finance director at my student guild we call him the bearded cunt. He is 58 years old and speaks french and italian BADLY all the time. We don't need a finance director since we hired a full time finance officer but he refuses to relinquish his POWER!!!
He constantly wastes my time by getting me to 'fix' computer problems such as the font on his email (Yes the font he called a meeting and everything the fucking idiot)
He stops anything important being done by complaining about the budget he complains about other directors not pulling their weight but here's the thing...

WE DON'T HAVE ONLY ONE SUBJECT TO DO
AND
WE DON'T HAVE A RICH WIFE TO SUPPORT US WHILE WE EXPLORE OUR EDUCATION

the thing that annoys me most however is he lives on a fucking boat :swear:

Take revenge scuttle the fucking boat!

[Gruff Nutz]

What is it with mature-age students always being complete and utter tools? I never went to uni myself, however I have been involved in a few student projects to help friends out and the older guys are generally cunts.

I guess they're just bitter that they let their youth slip by without ever finding a real job or career path.

[gta_gal]

I sent religious recruiters to try and convert him

[Afro88]

Ha, that's awesome - we used to have a teacher at our high school that lived on a boat. We used to call him the captain. He was a bit strange.

[Sagacious]

I sent religious recruiters to try and convert him
oh that's good.

What about orderring him Pizzas

or making appointments for tradesmen to give quotes for pool fencing or something like that.

[gta_gal]

do they deliver pizzas to boats???

I settle for shifting his stuff to a different place every day he doesn't know it's me and bitches about it openly

I also set permissions on our network to block him from everything

[Sagacious]

how about either taking the ball out of his mouse if it is a ball mouse or sticking a post it note over the laser if it is an optical mouse.

Or reversing the functionality on his mouse buttons

then you could change his desktop wallpaper to something he hates and password protect it.

[Uther Pendragon]

olden but a gooden.

This works best if they have a plain desktop background.

take a screenshot of his desktop. Open said image in paint or whatever, erase all icons from the pic except for about 3 or 4. erase the taskbar.

The icons that you left, move them off the actual desktop. now set his desktop background to the specially crafted image. Almost everything will work fine. there will just be 3 or 4 icons that do fucking nothing because they are part of the background.

It will mess with his head something awful. Make sure they are useful icons that he will try to click on. You can keep doing this at random intervals and changing which icons work and which dont.


Also assign random helper programs to his file types, so that word documents open in winamp etc.

[The Cunt]

the thing that annoys me most however is he lives on a fucking boat :swear:

Why does it annoy you?

You're new here aren't you. The "Join Date: April 2005" was a dead giveaway.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Cunt. Make sure you capitalise both when it's time to do this years Christmas cards.

And now enough with the formal introduction. So he lives in a boat?

Okay, once you hit 1000 points on the Rep Power Scale you'll be allowed into the SECRET FORUMS. They're hidden to all the arse clowns of the world. Don't worry, I'll write you a special pass that says 'The Cunt sez I'm not an Arse Clown'. You can staple it to your lapel. It'll get you through life if or when you hit the 1000 points goal.

Once you get there go into the SECRET FORUM... but don't say it loudly because it's in capital letters. Whisper it. I've only written it in UPPER CASE (you can say that loudly) because it's so important and shouldn't be overlooked.

Okay... in the SECRET FORUM (quietly) you'll find special threads. Like THE ANARCHISTS COOK BOOK... and the TERRORISTS HANDBOOK. And also a text version of my best seller: THE CUNTS REVENGE.

In there there's LOADS of different recipes and interesting 'pranks' to pull on OLD FUCK FACE, sorry, I never caught the name of old bearded cunt.

I'd give you a taste of some of the contents but I'd hate to spoil the surprise for you. But believe me, it's well worth sticking around for.

[Sagacious]

If you really want to can his ass you have to play smart and dirty because smart and dirty is strong kung fu.

If you make subtle but annoying changes to his programms like email fonts randomly and daily then he will call you repeatedly and daily to correct these trivial annoyances.

try that for a few weeks and start making comments to your coworkers that here we go again another excuse to call me over etc making you feel uncomfortablebecause of the attention he is paying you.

Keep a diary and make notes of his calls upon you with comments like undressing me with his eyes

ogling my breasts/ass/crotch/whatever.

take the odd day off without notice and tell them that you were too stressed or depressed or pissed off to come to work because bearded cunt is hitting on you and make a complaint of workplace sexual harrassment against him,

remember the key is to start low key and laugh the 'attention' off and then just ramp it up slowly over a period of weeks.

mention it to one or two coworkers in jest and in passing just to build evidence.

Be careful cos this is really playing with fire and people do get burnt when games like this are played.

[Sagacious]

Why does it annoy you?

You're new here aren't you. The "Join Date: April 2005" was a dead giveaway.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Cunt. Make sure you capitalise both when it's time to do this years Christmas cards.

And now enough with the formal introduction. So he lives in a boat?

Okay, once you hit 1000 points on the Rep Power Scale you'll be allowed into the SECRET FORUMS. They're hidden to all the arse clowns of the world. Don't worry, I'll write you a special pass that says 'The Cunt sez I'm not an Arse Clown'. You can staple it to your lapel. It'll get you through life if or when you hit the 1000 points goal.

Once you get there go into the SECRET FORUM... but don't say it loudly because it's in capital letters. Whisper it. I've only written it in UPPER CASE (you can say that loudly) because it's so important and shouldn't be overlooked.

Okay... in the SECRET FORUM (quietly) you'll find special threads. Like THE ANARCHISTS COOK BOOK... and the TERRORISTS HANDBOOK. And also a text version of my best seller: THE CUNTS REVENGE.

In there there's LOADS of different recipes and interesting 'pranks' to pull on OLD FUCK FACE, sorry, I never caught the name of old bearded cunt.

I'd give you a taste of some of the contents but I'd hate to spoil the surprise for you. But believe me, it's well worth sticking around for.

Oh great one I am not worthy...Hommage to The Cunt (notice caps). :cool:

[gta_gal]

All this is good but he'd make me fix the fucking thing

[gta_gal]

If you really want to can his ass you have to play smart and dirty because smart and dirty is strong kung fu.

try that for a few weeks and start making comments to your coworkers that here we go again another excuse to call me over etc making you feel uncomfortablebecause of the attention he is paying you.

Keep a diary and make notes of his calls upon you with comments like undressing me with his eyes

ogling my breasts/ass/crotch/whatever.

take the odd day off without notice and tell them that you were too stressed or depressed or pissed off to come to work because bearded cunt is hitting on you and make a complaint of workplace sexual harrassment against him,

remember the key is to start low key and laugh the 'attention' off and then just ramp it up slowly over a period of weeks.

mention it to one or two coworkers in jest and in passing just to build evidence.

Be careful cos this is really playing with fire and people do get burnt when games like this are played.

He used to come in without his shirt on and we tried a vote of no confidence - offensive to women etc

he has manipulated the structure of the guild from back in the corrupt days and has too many on his side unfortunatly this would never work

[Sagacious]

All this is good but he'd make me fix the fucking thing
That's part of the beauty of the plan the more he asks you the worse it gets for him.

If you really want to can his ass you have to play smart and dirty because smart and dirty is strong kung fu.

If you make subtle but annoying changes to his programms like email fonts randomly and daily then he will call you repeatedly and daily to correct these trivial annoyances.

try that for a few weeks and start making comments to your coworkers that here we go again another excuse to call me over etc making you feel uncomfortablebecause of the attention he is paying you.

Keep a diary and make notes of his calls upon you with comments like undressing me with his eyes

ogling my breasts/ass/crotch/whatever.

take the odd day off without notice and tell them that you were too stressed or depressed or pissed off to come to work because bearded cunt is hitting on you and make a complaint of workplace sexual harrassment against him,

remember the key is to start low key and laugh the 'attention' off and then just ramp it up slowly over a period of weeks.

mention it to one or two coworkers in jest and in passing just to build evidence.

Be careful cos this is really playing with fire and people do get burnt when games like this are played.

[Sagacious]

He used to come in without his shirt on and we tried a vote of no confidence - offensive to women etc

he has manipulated the structure of the guild from back in the corrupt days and has too many on his side unfortunatly this would never work
Never say never if you do this right and ramp it up gradually with the right evidence creation along the way this won't be able to be stopped by the guild for fear of you lawyering up for them letting him continue in the workplace and making it unsafe by his persistent conduct.

Remember the vote of no confidence counts as a strike against him already.

[gta_gal]

There is an general election in 3 weeks and I have conspired with the person designing the ballot to put him last on the list
the apathy at my uni gaurantees a large proportion of donkey votes

[kré]

douse his eyeballs in petroleum and flick a lit match in his face

[gta_gal]

douse his eyeballs in petroleum and flick a lit match in his face

will do

[kré]

get pics and/or video

[gta_gal]

Who would go through that much touble and not film it

[Sagacious]

that's the spirit.

[kré]

Who would go through that much touble and not film it

if you could spell you'd be the perfect woman.

[The Cunt]

There is an general election in 3 weeks and I have conspired with the person designing the ballot to put him last on the list
the apathy at my uni gaurantees a large proportion of donkey votes

conspire = had sex with?

[Sagacious]

conspire = had sex with?
confession is pointless without video footage or pics

[Merudo]

confession is pointless without video footage or pics
who would go through that much trouble and not film it?

[King_Crud]

growing up there was a weird guy in our area named "Thommo". He owned a large area of land which had nothing on it, in a prime real estate area. Cutting through his land on the way home from school would save you 10 minutes. If he saw you he'd shoot at you with an air rifle. He was the kind of guy who hoarded stuff. He had a house and a large shed but they were so full of junk that he lived in a boat. Problem was, this was in the Blue Mountains. The ocean was 80km away, the nearest river 20. Who the fuck lives in a boat that's mored on land, in the fucking mountains. Thommo is dead now.

[Reprobate]

growing up there was a weird guy in our area named "Thommo". He owned a large area of land which had nothing on it, in a prime real estate area. Cutting through his land on the way home from school would save you 10 minutes. If he saw you he'd shoot at you with an air rifle. He was the kind of guy who hoarded stuff. He had a house and a large shed but they were so full of junk that he lived in a boat. Problem was, this was in the Blue Mountains. The ocean was 80km away, the nearest river 20. Who the fuck lives in a boat that's mored on land, in the fucking mountains. Thommo is dead now.

Whereabouts in the Blue Mountains?

[King_Crud]

Whereabouts in the Blue Mountains?
Blaxland/Glenbrook. He owned land near the train tracks, where the rd from maccas goes under the tracks. I think they're nowing selling it off due to him being dead. The boat isn't there anymore

[Reprobate]

Blaxland/Glenbrook. He owned land near the train tracks, where the rd from maccas goes under the tracks. I think they're nowing selling it off due to him being dead. The boat isn't there anymore

could you see the boat if you were riding in the train?

i recall having seen a boat somewhere along the Blue Mountains line when catching a train from Leura down to Penrith or Sydney.

[King_Crud]

could you see the boat if you were riding in the train?

i recall having seen a boat somewhere along the Blue Mountains line when catching a train from Leura down to Penrith or Sydney.
sure could, it was on the right if you were going up the mountains, just before Blaxland station

[gta_gal]

My university is very small and new (9 years old) and we didn't have a student magazine so my friends and i decided to make one and it's a fairly decent effort since it was only three of us it's 32 pages we had no funding and no magazine to show advertisers so we had to raise the cash and print and collate all by ourselves

The stupid cunt read through the magazine and highlighted all the mistakes, he knew we had already printed it but he still felt the need to shove it in our face and bitch at us

it was the first edition ever :swear:
and it was shit that is pretty pedantic and some of the stuff we had done on purpose it's people like him that prevent progression

we found out later he had bet someone $10 he would find a mistake

when i joined the guild i heard about a uni magazine that had been made and never printed because he intervened
:swear:

He is my nemesis

[MisterBishi]

You need torpedoes man, straight up.

[Sagacious]

My university is very small and new (9 years old) and we didn't have a student magazine so my friends and i decided to make one and it's a fairly decent effort since it was only three of us it's 32 pages we had no funding and no magazine to show advertisers so we had to raise the cash and print and collate all by ourselves

The stupid cunt read through the magazine and highlighted all the mistakes, he knew we had already printed it but he still felt the need to shove it in our face and bitch at us

it was the first edition ever :swear:
and it was shit that is pretty pedantic and some of the stuff we had done on purpose it's people like him that prevent progression

we found out later he had bet someone $10 he would find a mistake

when i joined the guild i heard about a uni magazine that had been made and never printed because he intervened
:swear:

He is my nemesis

You need to get a cartoon strip parrodying him i that magazine...Eviscerate him in print

[locust]

The stupid cunt read through the magazine and highlighted all the mistakes, he knew we had already printed it but he still felt the need to shove it in our face and bitch at us

Don't you have any English/cultural studies students there?

The correct response would be to point out that spelling and grammar are Western constructs, largely products of the Enlightenment, and exist not because of any independant merit (as nothing actually exists, and nothing is true, it's impossible for something to possess or lack merit) but rather as a persistant cultural construction of our society.

[Uther Pendragon]

Don't you have any English/cultural studies students there?

The correct response would be to point out that spelling and grammar are Western constructs, largely products of the Enlightenment, and exist not because of any independant merit (as nothing actually exists, and nothing is true, it's impossible for something to possess or lack merit) but rather as a persistant cultural construction of our society.

Or you could just punch him in the face. Whatever works for you :)