Oh dear, she said yes......

[Guest.]

Last evening I asked my girlfriend to marry me...

Background: We have been seeing each other for ~ 5months. I have been married previously.

Last night we were having quite a few drinks and having a rather merry old time of it. The drinking continued into the wee hours of the morning and the discussions we were having took a rather serious turn. In essence she was feeling rather depressed that she felt as though time was running out to get married. She continued on this tack for some time and got quite upset.

So, I asked her to marry me. In fact I proposed, bended (sp) knee, the whole works.

I think she is a terrific girl, I honestly do. Furthermore I do see myself in a position one day of maybe being wed to her. Just not now. At all.

Unfortunately she is now over the moon and informing all her friends of the fact that she is for all intense and purposes engaged.

I'm so fucked...........

[lostreality]

sorry mate but the drink pwned you.
http://animaltnt.free.fr/Owned%20station/owned-baby.jpg

[ms edeity]

:ha: erm...congrats!

[Directed]

Thats why you don't get drunk with your girlfriend. You are screwed now. If you back out or are reluctant, its over. If you think she's the one, you are going to have to go with it now....

Everything worked out well for me, though, so maybe its not all bad for you.

[BtrFly]

i think it will be a long engagement....

let her know that what you said was in the heat of the moment, and that you would like some time to get to know her better. it may turn out to be one of the best decisions you have ever made in your life.

good luck and congratulations.

[lostreality]

i say push her down some stairs.

[Necron]

2005 election: PUNKED or OWNED you decide!

[dwarfthrower]

Congratulations on your impending non-samesex union.

[lostreality]

Congratulations on your impending non-samesex union.

im going on strike then, gotta love unions.

[Guest.]

I think the extra ultimate long term super fun happy time engagement sounds like the best option....

I feel ill......

[ms edeity]

my sister's been engaged for 3 yrs out of 5, 1 baby and counting... and engagement may mean she'll be more open to new things. I say win/win

[Bifrost]

Well at least you didn't get drunk, forget the condom and shag yourself into parenthood...I think you would feel a lot more ill in that circumstance.

I'm assuming your girlfriend never uses your PC nor looks at ZGeek...

I have said many times to my gf that she is the only person I want to be with for as long as I can imagine...But I have no interest in marriage and (fortunately) neither does she... :D

I do, however, know a fellow whose family is quite religious and, I believe, he's not. He has been engaged 3 times for a grand total of about 5+ years between the 3 girls...He finally got married a few months ago...The only thing I can imagine is that he gets engaged so that there's no religious questions about he and his gf shagging like rabbits. ;)

[Sagacious]

my sister's been engaged for 3 yrs out of 5, 1 baby and counting... and engagement may mean she'll be more open to new things. I say win/win
These new things you speak of can be quite a lot of fun and really...um nevermind.

Congratulations and I hope you resolve the conundrum you have created for youreslf.

[s3raph]

OWNED. You're fucked buddy, its gonna have to be a very long engagement.

[Cassa]

I'm going with the long engagement option. Quite common these days anyway.

[Funk Puppet]

My Engagement was good. Damn good actually..... it was 6 months after the wedding that everything fucked up. long engagement is a good plan. Make sure you have a say in everything and go for a wedding that won't leave you in debt before or after.

Money is one of the hardest things in a marriage... Make sure it's all worked out before the big day.

[Sagacious]

Whenever you have doubts remember that love is....

http://gallery.zgeek.com/data/thumbnails/1/love_is_slight_limp.jpg (http://gallery.zgeek.com/data/media/1/love_is_slight_limp.jpg) and http://gallery.zgeek.com/data/thumbnails/1/love_is_rimjob_.jpg (http://gallery.zgeek.com/data/media/1/love_is_rimjob_.jpg)









Cos if you forget that it is love that drew you together (OK and alcomohol) then it can all very easily turn to shit (http://gallery.zgeek.com/data/media/1/Turd_in_bowl.jpg) (don't click if easily offended)

[tikdoph]

Last evening I asked my girlfriend to marry me...

Background: We have been seeing each other for ~ 5months. I have been married previously.

Last night we were having quite a few drinks and having a rather merry old time of it. The drinking continued into the wee hours of the morning and the discussions we were having took a rather serious turn. In essence she was feeling rather depressed that she felt as though time was running out to get married. She continued on this tack for some time and got quite upset.

So, I asked her to marry me. In fact I proposed, bended (sp) knee, the whole works.

I think she is a terrific girl, I honestly do. Furthermore I do see myself in a position one day of maybe being wed to her. Just not now. At all.

Unfortunately she is now over the moon and informing all her friends of the fact that she is for all intense and purposes engaged.

I'm so fucked...........
1. How old are the both of you?

2. Impulse buying is bad. Impulse proposing is worse.

3. Do you really want to be telling your kids that you were drunk when you proposed to their mum?

4. Did it occur to you that she might have reflected upon the circumstances of the proposal and might now be wishing that her beloved didn't have to be fully plastered to ask for her hand in marriage? Why, how romantic! :rolleyes:

5. Your best bet is to come clean... completely, before things start getting really complicated. Tell her exactly how you feel. One of two things will happen:

A) She'll feel a little hurt and embarrassed but will realise that the circumstances of your proposal weren't exactly ideal and that waiting until you're both ready is a much more sensible way of starting a marriage. She'll appreciate you being honest with her and she'll wait (maybe even a little begrudgingly) for the day when you're finally ready to get down on one knee again, propose, and give her an engagement ring to symbolize your love and life-long commitment to her.

B) She'll flip out totally, scream, rant, rave, and give you a glimpse of what you're really letting yourself in for. Do you want to find out now that she could be a totally selfish nutcase or do you want to find out a few years down the track when you're going through messy divorce proceedings? If you can't honestly and openly communicate with her now, then do you really think it's a wise idea to make a lifelong commitment to someone you can't open up to (without being drunk)?

6. There's an old saying... "The hardest thing to do is usually the right thing to do". You don't deserve the stress that you'll no doubt be feeling as she starts making plans and she doesn't deserve anything less than total honesty from you. You know what the right thing to do is. Be a man and do it.

[Tigress]

Ooooooooh! I like number 6. It will be a bitch, but is necessary...

[Al]

Just go with a long engagement d00d. Not much else to do, and easily explained in a very nice way.

Being a bit of a champ about coming up with creative reasoning, i'll give you some advice.

Tell her you really love her, etc, and you wanted her to know that you're very serious about it (hence the engagement). Say that you are planning on a long engagement because it's very early on in your relationship still, and there's no rush after all (you'll have the rest of your lives, etc). If you want you can even throw some crap about being married before and being a bit scared of being hurt again etc...

OR

Just take tikdoph's advice.

[frgn8r]

No, take my advice...

root her sister... you get your freedom back - AND you get to root her sister.

It's win-win!

[druckfugged]

There is an old Hebraic saying that translates "A life, a wife." I have absolutely no idea what it means, but I believe in your case it may be relevant.

[Funk Puppet]

There is an old Hebraic saying that translates "A life, a wife." I have absolutely no idea what it means, but I believe in your case it may be relevant.
You've been watching Bride and Prejudice haven't you?

[Serpent_Girl]

You've been watching Bride and Prejudice haven't you?

That song is fscking annoying. *stab* Now I've got it in my head... :swear:


I say, just explain how you feel and go from there, long engagement, no engagement, whatever you both feel is the right thing to do.

[excalibur]

I don't really have much advice, but I do want to wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

[s3raph]

Well we all know the tikdoph's advice is the right thing to do, its just that its quite a test of manhood to go through with it.

[Sagacious]

Well we all know the tikdoph's advice is the right thing to do, its just that its quite a test of manhood to go through with it.
Indeed you might be considered a man for doing it but lose your manhood into the bargain for doing it if you see where I am heading with this.

[s3raph]

Indeed you might be considered a man for doing it but lose your manhood into the bargain for doing it if you see where I am heading with this.
Well put. :p

[kré]

you're a fucking idiot.

you've been married before and even your drunken self didn't learn the ultimate lesson.

[lostreality]

deny everything and say you didnt say it, and it must have been the drink, then next time you get drunk tell her you want to have bum love with her mother amd grandmother at the same time. that will puther right off.

[peto]

So what was the outcome of this?

I'd say really long engagement though. That is, of course, if you haven't taken action yet.

[tikdoph]

you're a fucking idiot.

you've been married before and even your drunken self didn't learn the ultimate lesson.
And you were sober... so what's your excuse?

[Mr Bigglesworth]

And you were sober... so what's your excuse?

Pwn3d :jizz:

Guest, as for your dilemna, ive learned time and time again that complete honesty is NOT the best policy with women. Be honest, but really sugar-coat it well.

Marriage .... dont know a thing about it, except to see almost everyone I know who is married is at each others throats alot of the time, so I think I will pass on it personally.

As for the Hebraic saying, there was something lost in translation. The original saying went something like "A wife, a life sentence".

[sperm]

Congratulations on your impending non-sex union.

There, fixed it for you. :rolleyes:

[johny_roberts]

Get a hooker get caught and cut your losses........

[Sanura]

As a woman, I think I have a bit of advice.

1. A long term engagement might seem the way to go, but I wouldn't count on it. Once the word spreads that you are engaged to her friends, nothing will stop the planning. Women (mostly) go crazy over marriage and weddings. So be up-front that you don't want any planning, perhaps set an amount of time you want to wait (12 months? More) that you want to wait before you start planning a wedding. Make it this time by making the excuse that you want to start saving now (for the perfect ring, wedding etc), so that you both won't have to go into debt for it. Also say that it gives her time to work out if this is what she really wants, and that she does want to be your wife, not just 'a' wife. If you go for the long term engagement thing, make sure that she thinks that it is for her benefit, not yours.

If you however go for the 'sorry, I was drunk, I don't know what the hell I was thinking' option, I think you need to go for a slightly different approach. Perhaps saying something along the lines of 'I'm so sorry, I put you on the spot when you were vulnerable' would go down a little better, along with a good dose of 'I think I may have rushed into things. I have strong feelings for you, but we haven't even
1. lived together
2. discussed children/chores/etc etc etc
3. Had enough time together for you to really know the full me
4. Insert good excuse here'
If you do this, then perhaps bring up the idea of staying engaged (to avoid any of her embaressment having to take back what she said to her friends), but just to leave it as an open ended engagement, without any sort of set date for a wedding.. just when it feels right. My partner and I have an open-ended engagement, and when it is the right time for us, we might get married one day.. but it is not on the table any time in the immediate future. Works for us, but might not work for her.

Again, the key to making this one work, is to make it sound that you sincerely have her concerns at heart, and you are doing her an injustice by rushing her into marriage, and that you need more time together before she commits to you for what should be life.

Anyhow, hope this helps (if you haven't done something else about it already). I think that the main thing, is just to let her know that it is for her benefit, rather than 'sorry I was drunk, can I take that back now?' :)

Good luck!

[muppet]

Last evening I asked my girlfriend to marry me...

In essence she was feeling rather depressed that she felt as though time was running out to get married.
How old is she? 80?
She continued on this tack for some time and got quite upset.
She continued on this tack and got quite upset because SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT FOR QUITE SOME TIME AND YOU DIDN'T PICK UP STRAIGHT AWAY THAT THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTED..
So, I asked her to marry me. In fact I proposed, bended (sp) knee, the whole works.
pwn3d

I'm so fucked...........
damn straight..

Okay, I've nearly been down the I do path, and you sir, should have said to her "Darling, about last nite, I was caught up in the heat of the moment, with all that we were talking about and everything, it felt right to do at the time.. I do love you, and I do want to spend time with you, but for now, let's just ride it out"
and then wait to get slapped silly .. she might not call you for a week or so, but at least you've been honest with her. If you truly have feelings for her, and she truly does love you, then she'll understand.
If not, I'd buy me some life insurance coz as you walk out the door, there's gonna be a knife in your back

[Guest.]

Anyhoo,

Thought about it for quite some time. Thanks to all for your replies, it is appreciated.

Going for the long engagement. Indeed I did duscuss to her the hows and why's of how this proposal did occur.

All looks reasonably okay.

[muppet]

Well done. Can I be flower girl? :D

[EvilMuppet]

Flower grandma perhaps Mupps...

[Merudo]

Well done. Can I be flower girl? :D
not with that brown font.

[lowededwookie]

No, take my advice...

root her sister... you get your freedom back - AND you get to root her sister.

It's win-win!
Unless her sister is a dog, then you just fucked a dog, and there's laws about that so you could go to prison for beastiality.

I suggest telling her that while you love her you're just not ready to marry. Tell her that the grog induced proposal was a knee-jerk reaction in an effort to try and cheer her up.

I believe that if she loves you back she will realise that waiting for a more sincere proposal from you will mean so much more.

Man, the things we do for love huh?

Good luck man.

[muppet]

Flower grandma perhaps Mupps...

Did I mention that I'm selling you on eBay? :p

not with that brown font.

It's BURLYWOOD not brown.. would you rather a different color?How's this?

[Boobmeister]

So how'd this turn out?