Help PLZ

[Broken]

this is kinda long but i feel its important to the story

ok here is the deal before i start im ussally good with girls and understand them

ok here it is..... ive known this girl named Brittany for a while we meet back 4 years ago in school. In a class we had i said something to her and we almost instantly became friends. though i thought she was very beatuifull i did not make a move because i thought she was not intersted in me and she had some what of a boyfriend at that time.

Next year at school we became even better friends haveing more classes together and i learn that she liked me the year before. (her own words)

Skipping ahead, Next year we have become even closer with her calling me and me calling her out of school and hanging out on the weekends and such. Then she tells me last year she has liked me as well. Then her friends start telling me that she likes me. (they know i liked her) but when i try and make my move which probly wasnt very good aporch looking back now......... (having friend ask her for me) .... i know i know :(

but before i could muster up the courage to ask her my self she of course was taken by anthor guy........ but truely being honest i considered my to be better looking. lol im not to vein

then in my yearbook comes anthor change saying how much she liked me and how "someday i may have my chance"

ok now we are 1 year forward to prsent time me and her go to differnet schools but out of the blue she calls me and we talk for a while she says she has tried to call me (which may be true i treat my cell phone like shit and always lose it and my home phone changed) any ways she wants to hang-out so i say ok and we agree to go to the movie theater (im thinking this may be date like)

anyways we go and see fantasic four and the movie goes over well and we decieded to walk to my house (i only live 1 block away) during this time i think i should make physical contact so while walking there are blackberry bushs on the way the so i hold her hand and lead her away from them during this she says "you just wanted to hold my hand" i awnser "maybe" she seems to like it and does not move away nor reject it we walk the rest to my house and hold hands the whole way while talking we get back and we hang-out for a while and talk draw on my chalk board then i put my arm around her and she says im a joking tone "don't get fresh with me" i said "what do you mean fresh" joking of course by that time took arm away right after that she tell me that she thinks "boy and girls cant be just friends" i tell her "some comdeian said that guys that a girls friend means the guy messed up some where tring to get with her" she laughed and then asked me "where did i mess up" i awnsered "i dont think i have messed up" she smiles and we go back to what we were doing. then i take her home i walk her to her door and i say goodbye and she gives me a hug. i then ask if we are going to do this again she says call me ( i have alot of trouble calling her she has 2 differnet numbers 70% of the time shes not home) i ask her to call me she says ok and says maybe we can do something on friday (this happened on Sunday)


any ways i go home and sleep then i wake up in the morning and see that she called me last nite at 11:30 pm she left no message so i call her later that day she answers the phone and we take for a few mins and she said she wanted to ask me something but has forgot it anyways she asks to call me back because she is about to leave with her friend (a girl) and says she will call me back

any ways here i am now 2 days later she has called me back yet all though i tried to call her twice today she was not there and i didnt leave a message

so again im sorry for the long story but i think it makes a differnce what do you guys think all my friends say shes intersed in me "why else would she call you out of the blue"

but i really would like to hear more thoughts plz any advice or thoughs you have would really help me

thx for listening and advice

[btwong]

brittany... you know she is pregnant to some dancer!

skanky whore!

[Sagacious]

then i take her home i walk her to her door and i say goodbye and she gives me a hug.

There's your problem right there. If she has made contact voluntarily with you and only gives you a hug at the end of the night you are staring right down the barrel of the LJBF nightmare.

Harsh but true get over her and move on cos if she didn't like press her body into yours and shape for a kiss in the context of the 'hug' that's what's on her mind and we all know what a nightmare the LJBF relationship can be.

[tomsyman]

Get her pissed - dates without drinking are a nightmare!

Then let the mellowing drinks lead to some truth talking lead to some shagging.

Please post pics tomorrow.

[dilligaf]

Ummm, d00d, no offence, but you're being screwed around and you're not even going out. Get some balls and ask her. What have you got to lose? It will certainly lead you to finding out where you stand with each other.

[Broken]

There's your problem right there. If she has made contact voluntarily with you and only gives you a hug at the end of the night you are staring right down the barrel of the LJBF nightmare.

Harsh but true get over her and move on cos if she didn't like press her body into yours and shape for a kiss in the context of the 'hug' that's what's on her mind and we all know what a nightmare the LJBF relationship can be.

lol very much agreed about the LJBF relationship nothing is worse then going out with someone who you cant stand and dont get any from them ive been in that situation once and found out how bad it is

i really dont want to be in this postion

but if it helps answer your question the "hug" was not a grandmother type hug where you are 4 feet away with arms out strecthed. This was a much more closer type where she did press her body to me.

but now that i think about it im not sure if she was looking for me to make an atempt to kiss her because i am 6'3 and she is 5'5 and i cant exatly look and her face and see what she was thinking ....

but i hey i know something for next time im in that situation

[dilligaf]

but now that i think about it im not sure if she was looking for me to make an atempt to kiss her because i am 6'3 and she is 5'5 and i cant exatly look and her face and see what she was thinking ....

Don't over analyise. Go for it. What can you lose? At least you'll find out what she really thinks.

[Broken]

Ummm, d00d, no offence, but you're being screwed around and you're not even going out. Get some balls and ask her. What have you got to lose? It will certainly lead you to finding out where you stand with each other.
i know :(

i just dont want to seem like an idiot but i guess it would be her faulet of giveing me mixed signals

i think i might try that tho

thx for the sugestion

[dilligaf]

i know :(

i just dont want to seem like an idiot but i guess it would be her faulet of giveing me mixed signals

i think i might try that tho

thx for the sugestion
Well, mate, its your call. But really, you will learn where you two stand in your relationship, or lack there of. Good lcuk with it all. Hope it works out and you score yourself a chixz0r.

[Lina]

I don't know the chick but it sounds like she's just keeping you on the line mate. Women are really really good at these games. My advise would be not to call her or call her once and tell her straight - don't dance around it.

I'm guessing it's already glaringly obvious to her that you like her, nothing more should have to be said. If she is simply making up her mind about whether she wants to go out with you then she will come to you. Women very often know what they want and won't often play games when they are serious.

[kleph]

speaking from experience (http://forums.zgeek.com/showthread.php?t=27154), i suggest never seeing her again and setting yourself on fire. it gets you to the exact same place you are going to be six months from now.

[Directed]

Broken, don't listen to these losers. Especially don't let a girl ever give you relationship advice. Let me tell you what to do. She thinks you are nice, and she's teasing you a little and enjoying the attention you are giving her. So far that is good. I recommend one more date of letting her tease and get attention and whatnot. After 2 dates of letting her kind of do what she pleases, take her out somewhere nice, and tell her you want to be her boyfriend and have an exclusive relationship. When you put it out there like that, you will find out real quick what her intentions are and all.

[Holster]

Yeah, because girls don't know anything about dating, or even how our own minds work.

Also it seems we are all losers and directed has the only point of view worth anything. :rolleyes:

Look I dont care about your current mood, just have a bit of respect for the people that have posted their opinion here, because honestly yours is no better than any one elses.

[Haggisboy]

Broken, don't listen to these losers. Especially don't let a girl ever give you relationship advice. Let me tell you what to do. She thinks you are nice, and she's teasing you a little and enjoying the attention you are giving her. So far that is good. I recommend one more date of letting her tease and get attention and whatnot. After 2 dates of letting her kind of do what she pleases, take her out somewhere nice, and tell her you want to be her boyfriend and have an exclusive relationship. When you put it out there like that, you will find out real quick what her intentions are and all.

Ditto to what Directed said. Besides, the worst thing that can happen is she says no. Unless she says no and kicks you in the balls. That would be worse.

[Davo_Dinkum]

but now that i think about it im not sure if she was looking for me to make an atempt to kiss her because i am 6'3 and she is 5'5 and i cant exatly look and her face and see what she was thinking ....

Ok, mate....The only thing I learnt from my last relationship was that if you want to kiss a girl....Stop fart assing around and do it.....I had alot of chances to, but didn't....She got bored, it ended.....

So pull your finger out and just take a dive!

Girls like confidence......Or so I am told....

Good luck either way

[Cassa]

Well, you can either lay it straight out for her (I need to know how you feel about me, or something similar) which may not get the desired result but at least then you'll know where you stand. Or, you can wait for her to decide what it is that she wants - personally I wouldn't recommend this. Without an impetus for her to make up her mind, you could be waiting a long time. She'd have to know or at least strongly suspect by now how you feel, and if pushing the issue a little bit makes her back off, she's probably not someone you want to be in a relationship with anyway.

[Haggisboy]

Ok, mate....The only thing I learnt from my last relationship was that if you want to kiss a girl....Stop fart assing around and do it.....I had alot of chances to, but didn't....She got bored, it ended.....

So pull your finger out and just take a dive!

Girls like confidence......Or so I am told....

Good luck either way

WTF? A guy who, in another thread, said he wanted to cap his teeth with pointed fangs is giving out relationship advice? Might as well write a letter to Dear Vladdy.

[Cassa]

Haggisboy that's really not neccessary. This is a forum for advice, not sleighting.

[Directed]

Yeah, because girls don't know anything about dating, or even how our own minds work.

Also it seems we are all losers and directed has the only point of view worth anything. :rolleyes:

Look I dont care about your current mood, just have a bit of respect for the people that have posted their opinion here, because honestly yours is no better than any one elses.

Of course, since you are a woman, no one is paying attention to you here.

Just kidding, I'm just saying in my experience, it doesn't pay to get dating advice from women if you are a guy. Equally bad is getting advice from a guy if you are a girl. For dating. Somehow with marriage, it is the other way around. Sorry if that pisses you off. But it is my opinion on the matter, and I did give the guy good advice.

[Directed]

Well, you can either lay it straight out for her (I need to know how you feel about me, or something similar) which may not get the desired result but at least then you'll know where you stand. Or, you can wait for her to decide what it is that she wants - personally I wouldn't recommend this. Without an impetus for her to make up her mind, you could be waiting a long time. She'd have to know or at least strongly suspect by now how you feel, and if pushing the issue a little bit makes her back off, she's probably not someone you want to be in a relationship with anyway.


Although Cassa is proving my theory wrong here. But that's not fair, she is a trained professional.

[Holster]

It was the fact that you called everyone that had posted a loser. I'm a mod of this forum too, and after the last time I thought it would be worth saying something before it went down hill.

[Tigress]

I think the fact she held your hand means one of two things:

1. She wants things to go further
2. She is a prick teaser

Perhaps she did want a kiss. From expereience and from discussions with other girls, we hate it when a guy says "Can I kiss you?" Most of us hope (and yes, we understand guys don't relate to subtle clues) that a guy will know when we do and don't want things to go further.

IMHO the holding hands and hug means that she does want things to go further. A conversation at this stage of meeting up with her once after such a long gap in contact would be a bit premature. Meet up again, if there is still body contact, then give it a go.

Good luck mate...

[Haggisboy]

Haggisboy that's really not neccessary. This is a forum for advice, not sleighting.

My bad. You have my apologies.

[Cassa]

Although Cassa is proving my theory wrong here. But that's not fair, she is a trained professional.


I'm not really a woman, I just act like one to get free adulation on the internet.

[Directed]

It was the fact that you called everyone that had posted a loser. I'm a mod of this forum too, and after the last time I thought it would be worth saying something before it went down hill.

I do enjoy getting people riled up on occasion I'll admit. I was mostly attempting to mock Kleph a little, as he has been struggling lately, and any time I can tease him, I am going to do it as much as possible, and I was mocking (light-heartedly) Lina's advice. I have noticed in dating that women (except Cassa and you) are notoriously bad at giving successful advice in relationships. And the guys seem like they were being a little harsh on the poor girl. I mean, is a girl supposed to go make out and rip her clothes off on the first date just because she is interested in a guy? Realistically I have rarely seen a good lasting relationship start that fast. Its usually a slow, clumsy process that evolves into real love.

[Cassa]

Women and men tend to approach relationships from different viewpoints (no prizes for incisive observations there) and I think that females tend to give dating advice from both the female and their own personal point of view. If that happens to match up with the situation of the person they're giving advice to, great, but it often doesn't, which in my opinion causes this disparity. Males tend to be somewhat better at taking an impersonal view however this can be what leads them into trouble in their own relationships.

[Tigress]

I find that some of the most beneficial advice is from the opposite sex as they have more insight into what the person you are interested in might be thinking, doing, attempting to convey.

They may not be correct, but they do have the ability of giving another perspective that someone of the same sex may not be able to offer.

[Directed]

Talking with women is invaluable if you want to know emotional facts about a relationship, as guys are bad at that. They are good at getting insight into a girl. Lets be honest probably they are every bit as good as a guy at giving advice. In my experience they haven't had the best relationship advice while I was dating my wife. I'm not sure why, because they were better at pegging what my wife was feeling emotionally and all. After I got married, I would get the best advice from women. That is my experience in the matter. I'm sure other people have had different ones.

How about you girls (or guys for that matter) While dating, did guys or girls have the better advice for you?

[The Cunt]

Don't over analyse. Go for it. What have you got to lose except your virginity?

[Lina]

I do enjoy getting people riled up on occasion I'll admit. I was mostly attempting to mock Kleph a little, as he has been struggling lately, and any time I can tease him, I am going to do it as much as possible, and I was mocking (light-heartedly) Lina's advice. I have noticed in dating that women (except Cassa and you) are notoriously bad at giving successful advice in relationships.

Oh I'm sorry. I'll just bow out to the obvious love champion of the world. I'm just putting the point across that some women are just really bad for stringing guys along. I've witnessed this happen too many times to count.

I'll just shut the fuck up now because apparently I know nothing, haven't a clue what I'm talking about because I'm a chick and I'm not allowed to offer an opinion.

Did I mention I'm a blonde too? That must make my advise dumb AND worthless :spingo:

[The Cunt]

Oh I'm sorry. I'll just bow out to the obvious love champion of the world. I'm just putting the point across that some women are just really bad for stringing guys along. I've witnessed this happen too many times to count.

I'll just shut the fuck up now because apparently I know nothing, haven't a clue what I'm talking about because I'm a chick and I'm not allowed to offer an opinion.

Did I mention I'm a blonde too? That must make my advise dumb AND worthless :spingo:
You make no mention of cup size.

I'll need that to determine how valuable your advice is too.

[The Cunt]

A 1000 word essay on relationship advice from The Cunt...

http://forums.zgeek.com/gallery/data/thumbnails/1/300px-Necromouse12hd.jpg

[Lina]

Well, you can either lay it straight out for her (I need to know how you feel about me, or something similar) which may not get the desired result but at least then you'll know where you stand. Or, you can wait for her to decide what it is that she wants - personally I wouldn't recommend this. Without an impetus for her to make up her mind, you could be waiting a long time. She'd have to know or at least strongly suspect by now how you feel, and if pushing the issue a little bit makes her back off, she's probably not someone you want to be in a relationship with anyway.

I totally agree with Cassa. What I meant by my post is that if you pretty sure she knows you like her, of if you lay it down the line and tell her straight and she still buggers you around then it's probably best to let it lie.

You make no mention of cup size.

I'll need that to determine how valuable your advice is too.

I find your response witty and slightly arousing. Please come over to my house and we will drink hot chocolate and I will allude to a relationship and then tell you I just want to be friends. :stooge:

[Davo_Dinkum]

Might I be insensitive and say....Is she a bush pig?

This thread is useless without pics......

[Merde]

Might I be insensitive and say....Is she a bush pig?

What one of George W's twin daughters? (can't remember their names - Tweedle dumb and Tweedle dumber) or the kind of ferral porcine menace depicted in Razorback?

[The Cunt]

I find your response witty and slightly arousing. Please come over to my house and we will drink hot chocolate and I will allude to a relationship and then tell you I just want to be friends. :stooge:
"You must spread some sweet lovin' around before giving it to Lina again."

[Glompbot]

My opinion, the whole 'hand holding' part seems like she likes you - but she won't make the first move... so you should try.

When you hug next (i'm assuming they're lingering hugs?), try kissing her on the cheek/neck just with your lips, or even just touch your lips and not really kiss.... see how she takes that.

its not too full on so you won't get slapped, but it'll maybe get her thinking.


IMHO, if you're both too nervous to 'make a move' it'll never work.
I dated a guy like that once.... I *hate* making the first move... he was *really* cute though, and stupidly tall (a foot and an inch taller than me) , and incredibly nice.... but it didn't work out because we were both too shy...

[beagle]

Whatever you do, don't think too much about the "next move". If somethings going to happen, it will happen.

[Conny!]

Whatever you do, don't think too much about the "next move". If somethings going to happen, it will happen.

i think this response has been the closest to what i'm thinking and maybe Cassa's advice: that you will know when the time is right, it can sometimes become really obvious. But i would say just hang out with the girl more, make your next date/meeting just movies and pizza or something at home on the couch. You can try the arm over the shoulder thing, by the sounds of the holding hands thing and hug she'll probably move in for the snuggle. Just step up the affection and judge the reaction. Even if it fails, at least ice will be broken and you might find that you can be friends.

Or else you can go out drinking, that usually removes the grey area. And don't ask if you can kiss her, just do it. And don't use too much tongue. hehehe.

[Glompbot]

first kiss should be NO tongue.
that way if you're wrong, you could have said you would kiss her on the cheek.

*nod*

[Davo_Dinkum]

first kiss should be NO tongue.
that way if you're wrong, you could have said you would kiss her on the cheek.

*nod*

agreed...No tongue....I personally don't like any tongue at all....But hey...That's me

[Glompbot]

nah, the full on kisses are for later, they're the 'you may get laid' kisses.

but it sounds like she might be open to a closed mouth kiss.

[Directed]

*insert random smartarse comment here*

[Broken]

ok i just called her.........

she picks up the phone and we talk a little then i hear a guys voice saying who is that i ask whos that at almost the same time she tell me that the guy is jeff (or something really didnt care) her Ex-Boyfriend's friend. Then she says thats Taylor he asks who's Taylor she says hes that guy

we talk for a little longer then i hear other people something like anthor girls voice but said nothing. a little later the guy says your mom neede help with the grocerices she says 1 min then a few mins later the guy voice says your mom needs the phone to call her BF then she says ill call you back later on my cell phone


also a side note almost every time ive talked to her she asks me if i can drive alone now(with her of course). (my state has really strict driving laws for minors) personal ive wondered about this but i tell her almost i just have to do is go to a driving class and she tells me hurry and do that.

plz tell me what you think i have gave my self many headaches pondering this

btw thx for all the responses they really help

[Merde]

You could always call her and ask her on a proper date like 'How would you like me to take you for a Burger/Pizza/Sushi and a movie' then you sound her out over dinner and if its LJBF you go enjoy the movie and chalk it up to experience. If she is up for some horizontal folk dancing you skip the movie and go Fuck.

How hard are you trying to make this?

Communicate don't try and guess.

Males are notoriously bad at guessing what women are thinking far quicker and less painful to recognise that and just be up front with her.

Example:

'Hey I'm glad we hooked up agian after such a long time I remember <whenever or wherever you knew eachother from before> I really liked you but you were like going out with someone else but now you aren't seeing anyone I would like it if we gave the us thing a shot.'

or something equally lame.

[Sagacious]

You could always call her and ask her on a proper date like 'How would you like me to take you for a Burger/Pizza/Sushi and a movie' then you sound her out over dinner and if its LJBF you go enjoy the movie and chalk it up to experience. If she is up for some horizontal folk dancing you skip the movie and go Fuck.

How hard are you trying to make this?

Communicate don't try and guess.

Males are notoriously bad at guessing what women are thinking far quicker and less painful to recognise that and just be up front with her.

Example:

'Hey I'm glad we hooked up agian after such a long time I remember <whenever or wherever you knew eachother from before> I really liked you but you were like going out with someone else but now you aren't seeing anyone I would like it if we gave the us thing a shot.'

or something equally lame.


Or perhaps even something a little less lame

[Whiskers]

Women very often know what they want and won't often play games when they are serious.

This made me laugh.

I don't know what I want and I feel sorry for all men that are stupid enough to be attracted to me at the moment.

Broken- go the latch.

[Aurelius]

Broken,
It is better to regret trying something than to regret what you never did.
Having said that, I have done too much.... and I have the record to show for it :)

[MyPetMonkey]

plz tell me what you think i have gave my self many headaches pondering this


There stands your problem, quit pondering and get in there. You're over complicating this. From your first post, she's told you now "how much she likes you" how many times?

You've actually given yourself a good opening now though, you can open your resolution when you ask her, by exactly telling her you've been thinking of her most probably every 45 minutes.

By not addressing it your letting other people into the picture, which you don't want. Because you'll end up missing out and you'll be kicking yourself. What happens if she cans you???? Then fuck it, walk away.

The really awful feeling of being rejected only lasts up until you find someone else. Then, you can look back at *their* loss.

It took me 15 minutes to post this, because i'm slowly learning to do the same.... and fell in the same pondering trap you're in and i've been in before.... I know the answer, i've done it before, it's not easy but it does work....

[Sagacious]

Broken,
It is better to regret trying something than to regret what you never did.
Having said that, I have done too much.... and I have the record to show for it :)
I think it was William Wordsworth who said ''tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'

Then again it could have been William Butler Yates...anyway some loquacious bastard once said it and it rings true.

[Conny!]

I think it was William Wordsworth who said ''tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'

Then again it could have been William Butler Yates...anyway some loquacious bastard once said it and it rings true.


It still hurts like buggery though.

[Sagacious]

It still hurts like buggery though.
better the intense and short lived pain of the chance taken which did not succeed than a lifetime of nagging doubt.

A coward dies 1000 times. The brave, the valiant taste of death but once.

That which does not kill you makes you stronger.

[Conny!]

better the intense and short lived pain of the chance taken which did not succeed than a lifetime of nagging doubt.

A coward dies 1000 times. The brave, the valiant taste of death but once.

That which does not kill you makes you stronger.


Bah, cliches.

I took the chance, won for a moment and then fate stepped in.

Now the cooky jar is firmly closed and has a guard. :grr:

But i do believe you -or whoever wordsmithed that phrase- may be right in that it makes you stronger.

[Sagacious]

Bah, cliches.

I took the chance, won for a moment and then fate stepped in.

Now the cooky jar is firmly closed and has a guard. :grr:

But i do believe you -or whoever wordsmithed that phrase- may be right in that it makes you stronger.
Nietzsche

[Conny!]

Nietzsche


Existentialist philosophy came up with that? Well i guess so. Am i thinking of the right dude?

[Sagacious]

Existentialist philosophy came up with that? Well i guess so. Am i thinking of the right dude?

I'm not sure he was classical existentialist like Sartre or de Bouvoir or even Jung and I think his stuff was more like unleashing the superman within man himself, killing god and that sort of stuff. Very Germanic master race sort of stuff which is why he appealed to the Nazis so.

All very Wagenerian sort of sensibilities.

[Sagacious]

Nietzsche is sometimes identified with Philosophical Romanticism, but he himself vociferously denied Romantic tendencies in his work. He is often identified as an inspiration for existentialism and postmodernism in philosophy and literature, though there is much disagreement concerning whether the leaders of these movements interpreted him correctly; some see Martin Heidegger's as the greater influence. In Nietzsche Humanist (1998), Claude Pavur suggests that Nietzsche can best be understood as a humanist on the order of ancient and early modern humanists, many of whom were devoted to envisioning human greatness, as was Nietzsche.

Linky Here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nietzsche)

[Kez]

My advice

Ask her out, after that "date" you've got nothing to loose

If it turns out to be LJBF... bugger...

[Aurelius]

It still hurts like buggery though.

As the 'relationship' is only at the early stages, I think we can leave buggery advice until his NEXT post......

[Conny!]

As the 'relationship' is only at the early stages, I think we can leave buggery advice until his NEXT post......


If he indeed turns out to get "lucky."

[Grumblefish]

Drop a heavy object on her foot - if she forgives you, then it is love.

[Conny!]

(Grumble Fish == Cassanova)/?

[label]

She called cos she was feeling horny and wanted to get "fresh" (you kids) with you, but you weren't around - she moved on and is looking for someone who will be around to get freaky with.

You missed your chance buddy, move on.