It was my birthday on Sat, but thats old news now

[maccabean]

Yes, thats right, I turned 25. I'm sure if I posted more I'm zgeek, I would get a mention, however in this sad case, I'll just have to advertise my own birthday.

Hippip Hooray!

We love you maccabean. :metal:

[King_Crud]

yeah, i actually saw it was your birthday i was all meh. Happy birthday i guess

[Vardsy]

Happy Birthday to you

You smell like some poo

You enjoy rimjobs from men

and giving them to

[Arcane1]

Since the post above says it all, I'lll suffice with a simple Happy Birthday.

[ms edeity]

Where's the cake?

[King_Crud]

NEIL: [running in again] Surprise!

RICK: [crawling from behind the sofa, his pants on fire] More of a shock,
really, Neil, when somebody sets fire to you during a cricket match.

MIKE: [using an extinguisher] Shut up, Rick. No one's on fire. [to
Neil] Neil, it's very rare that you interest me, but today you have. Why
do you keep coming in here, carrying a cake, and saying "Surprise"?

NEIL: Well, it's my birthday.

MIKE: Now, you knew that anyway, and we don't care, so where's the surprise?

NEIL: I've baked a cake.

MIKE: A cake? Can a cake dance? Will a cake get you drunk? Will a cake
let you put your hand up its jumper?

NEIL: I don't know, Mike, but it's a cake and I've baked it and we're
having a party and you're all invited cause you're my friends. At least
you pretend to be my....well, you don't even pretend to be my friends,
actually. In fact, you all hate me. In fact, if I was in the hospital,
right, dying, you wouldn't even bother to come and visit me cause you all
hate me so much. [A hand reaches out and draws a fake mustache and
glasses over the stationary Neil.] Just like my mother, she got everybody
against me. But anyway, we're having a party and since you're all here
anyway, you might as well enjoy yourselves.

[The hand draws a beard an arrow through Neil's head]

SIDE VOICE: Stop that! Stop it now! Go on, rub it off! [The hand
removes the drawing, and the rest of the picture] Oh, no, look what
you've done! Quick, get the picture back on before Elephant Head comes
out and starts singing. [The song "Stop In the Name of Love" comes on.]
Oh, great.

[A man in a suit and elephant head comes out and starts singing and
dancing.]

[The next Young Ones scene slams down on top of him. Mike and Rick are
at the kitchen table. Vyvyan is lying on the sofa, where Neil is standing.]

NEIL: Having a good time?

VYVYAN: [bored] Yeah. Great.

NEIL: Great....uh, I'm glad you could come to my party.

VYVYAN: Well, thanks for inviting me, Neil. [sarcastic] It's so rare
when you get a chance to go out these days.

NEIL: Yeah, great [looks around] Oh, excuse me. Just have to go and
circulate. Catch you later, OK? [goes to kitchen] Hi, Mike. It's going
well, isn't it? You know, I was really worried before. You know how
worried you get before a party, like, you know, "Is everyone going to turn
up?" and everything. But this is great, isn't it?

MIKE: [bored silly] Yeah.

NEIL: Yeah, and just about everyone I invited is here.

MIKE: Neil, where's the booze?

VYVYAN: Yeah, hippie, where's the bloody lager?

[Cut to a fake commercial, with a dorky guy and a hot blonde at a bar.]

COMMERCIAL VOICE: [sings] I was drinking something gloomy. And the girl
just looked straight through me. [The blonde is unimpressed with his
mixed drink. The guy puts it down and grabs a pint of beer.] So I had
a pint of Hawk. [Blonde is suddenly turned on.] And now she's gonna
screw me.

[Print over says "Hawk. Stay witty and sexist to the bottom of the glass".]

[Back to the house]

VYVYAN: Well, what about Babysham? One glass of that and I'm anybodys!

RICK: Then it's a bit of a pity that absolutely nobody wants you then,
isn't it?!

VYVYAN: Shut up, or I'll tell everyone in this room that you've got an
iron-on cartoon worm on the front of your Y-fronts that says "Girl Bait."

RICK: [uncomfortable] Oh, so you've been going through my Y-fronts, have
you, Vyvyan?! I suppose you fancy me, is that it?!

VYVYAN: [pause, acting] Yes! As a matter of fact, I do, Rick! I
really really fancy you. And I want to give you a big girlie kiss on the
bottom!

RICK: Uh, Mike, Vyvyan's gone all funny! He said he wants to kiss my
bottom!

VYVYAN: Did I say kiss you on the bottom? Oh, beg your pardon. I meant
to say, stick a pick axe through your spinal column!

NEIL: Oh, no, my party's having a row!

MIKE: Yeah, no booze, you see, Neil. Tempers fray.

VYVYAN: Yeah, Neil. I'm very sober, and very very bored!

NEIL: Wait! I know! TV time.

VYVYAN: Yeah.

NEIL: Yeah.

[ms edeity]

There's a hole in my shoe and it's letting in water.

[108]

You got money for all of your presents, didn't you?