The Never Ending Story

[Vardsy]

*** No more than three sentences per post***

There once once a young man named Parker.

There was something very strange about Parker however....

[gunsella]

He was missing his left eye.
And his right hand had only 3 fingers on it.

[CapnCallipygian]

...one of the missing right hand fingers was in his left eye socket, but the other one....

[t101]

...randomly popped up over his body depending on the phase of the moon.

This made it difficult for him to...

[Vardsy]

perform his work as a

[snoopen]

supervisor at a breast cancer screening facility.

This got him into all sorts of trouble.

The worst occasion was when...

[RedMaN]

He couldn't find his friend, no matter how hard he looked.

"Atreyu.... where are you?"

[btwong]

"mmmmm...brrrrr...mmmmm" was Atreyu's reply
"Where?" Parker asked again.
"MMMMM...BRRRRRR...MMMMMMM" was again the reply.

[Vardsy]

Something was wrong, this sort of thing shouldn't be happening in a breast screening clinic.

Parker followed the grumbling noises and then he saw...

[snoopen]

...a jackalope out the window, eating grass and acting all mythical like.

"Well I'll be fudged by the Queen of France" he muttered to himself.

Parker snapped back to reality and continued following the grumbling noises when he saw...

[btwong]

a dwarf cleaning a polar bear's testicles...
perplexed, he stumbled back, then shook his head to remove the horrid image. Unfortunately his other eye fell out and rolled towards the dwarf...

[Sagacious]

...a truly remarkable sight but possibly less remarkable than usual at a breast screening clinic.

She was beautiful, statuesque, had perfect skin and a profile to die for...to kill for.

Her looks, however, at first glance at least were not what made her remarkable.

[King_Crud]

for she was a he
and he had as his penis
one of Parkers...........

[Juice Biscuit]

Roast ducks that he was going to cook that night.

Boy was she packin some heat.

Parker knew that he had to..

[Vardsy]

take the opurtunity that had presented itself to him.

He started to think of the best way to do this when he was hit with a thought.

He should.....

[tomsyman]

ask shim out for dinner and cook his wang for a romantic meal by candle light.

But as he prepared to ask something dropped...

[druckfugged]

out of her handbag. It was heavy, it was metallic, it looked remarkably like...

[Vardsy]

something that he couldn't remember, which perplexed him, how did he recognise it in the first place?

He bent down to pick the item up for shim and couldn't believe that he was actually holding a real ......

[King_Crud]

minature version of the Terminator two, with no clothes on.

The minature Terminator 2 then...............

[Vardsy]

provided Parker with the chance he was looking for to dazzle the shim with his charm and wit.

By this stage Parker had totally forgotten about his grumbling friend and the work that needed completing in the Breast Screening facility.

He handed the mini T2 back to the shim and said.....

[btwong]

"Robert Patrick was a cool Terminator. But if i had a wish, i would prefer the life size of that T3 chick, buck naked!"

"Kristanna Loken?" the shim replied...

"Thats her... i'd like to terminate her and ..."

[Vardsy]

"what the fuck, Robert Patrick as well if he is still in shape."

The shim was getting turned on by now, could Parker provide it with the one sexual fantasy it had always dreamed of, to be.....

[btwong]

...finger-cuffed between two terminators?

With this thought, Parker quickly exited the room in search of his KY jelly.

While rummaging through his desk draws, he stumbled onto...

[Vardsy]

a letter with the Heading Top Secret.

It was from the whitehouse, George Bush himself had handwritten it - with green crayola, which Parker found puzzling and bizzare.

President bush needed a Supervisor from a Breast Cancer screening facility to head a top secret mission to...

[btwong]

go and find a informer called "Nodbugger" and check his bitch tits (aka Man Boobs) for brains.

Further on, Parker read, "This "Nodbugger" character is giving away national security secrets, about how nieve, ego-centric and diluted we are here in the U.S of A."

It also went on to say...

[StAUG]

...bring twinkies. Damn I love twinkies.

[snoopen]

OH and bring some Sour cream too!
Sour Creme and Twinkies, god fucking damn thats some hot shit right there.
Stick all that in your mouth and you'll be lovin it like...

[djgcorporation]

a midget in a cold shower.
"Where are my pants by the way?" he thought to himself as he poured warm honey over his head down his back.
His pant were gone. What would he do? This was a question which would perplex him for the rest of his life, even after he went to court and changed his name to Djgcorporation...

*A KNOCK AT THE DOOR*

[Funk Puppet]

*Startled* he said "If that's the girl scouts selling cookies I'll have a box and I'll buy some of your cookies too"

He opened the door to see..

[4X4]

Anti War of the Worlds rebels. He told them: 'I'm not the one in charge of this bullshit, it's Steven Spielberg!' Nobody believed him. He had to lie, and told them it was a cunning idea by Michael Moore to piss them off.

By now, he forgot all about his friend OR his love, and went shopping for...

[primary]

a new cardboard box his old one had completely worn out from..

[snoopen]

repeatedly being used as the butt of jokes lacking humor (aka babble).
"Oh well if it isnt the man who can't count sentances" Parker remarked as 4X4 makes an apperance on-screen.
*Scene cuts to ariel view of Parker making...