What makes you feel manlier?

[Aardvark]

There are certain things in this world that are strictly in the domain of Men. Sure, woMen can do them, but they will always do an inferior job to a Man, even if vastly more qualified for the task at hand.

[Benwah]

Growing a beard.

[druckfugged]

Reading maps

[dwarfthrower]

Knowing how to spell "Richter".

[Aardvark]

Hmm, better add "Spell Richter" to the list

[Benwah]

Using my penis?

[label]

Oh! Even you have problems figuring out how to do that!

But heres just a short list

being coherent
making sense
sticking to facts - no feeling involved
understanding the actual conversation and not the underlying conversation/ implied conversation
being able to appreciate true beauty without jealousy

[druckfugged]

Using my penis?
lots of wimmins just fine at using mine, historically speaking

[ShinymetalASS]

I voted for the jerking off one.

I can do everything else on the list.

But my sans penis status prevents me from jerking myself off.

[Vardsy]

I can laugh at plane crashes and cry when my team loses

[mjolnir]

... maybe in the sub-cockle area...

[excalibur]

... maybe in the sub-cockle area...
Maybe even in the colon.

Few thing more fun than 15 guys spontaneously singing "Asshole'

The other thing that is incredibly manly is wearing armour. Most of you wouldn't have done it, but wearing a full suit of armour, then belting another bloke is the ultimate in manlyness.

[Sagacious]

Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on the table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a big fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!

Ah Dennis how you have enriched our lives.

[Sagacious]

Whilst Dennis Leary's 'Asshole' is considered by many to be his seminal work In my humble opinion the Tradidional Irish folksong is a far superior offering.


They come over here and they take all our land
They chop of our heads and they boil them in oil
Our children are leaving and we have no heads
We drink and we sing and we drink and we die

We have no heads, we have no heads

They come over here and they chop off our legs
They cut off our hands and put nails in our eyes
O'Grady is dead and O'Hanrahan's gone
We drink and we die and continue to drink

O'Hanrahan, no O'Hanrahan

They buried O'Neill down in Country Shillhame
The poor children crying a fe dee din de
Hin fle di din fle di din fle de din de
In hey bibble bibble hey bibble bibble hey fle bibble de

O'Hanrahan, no O'Hanrahan

We drink and we sing and we drink and we sing, hey!
We drink and we drive and we puke and we drink, hey!
We drink and we fight and we bleed and we cry, hey!
We puke and we smoke and we drink and we die, hey!

[Fuzzy Dice]

you must spread some reputation around before giving it to sagacious again.

[MisterBishi]

Leary is a stupid-voiced plagiarising cunt and nothing more.

[Booberella]

well, having a penis would help, but belching i guess...

[Aardvark]

Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
when you grow up,
when you grow up,
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
It sucks pretty bad right now.

[Chocoholic]

http://gallery.zgeek.com/details.php?image_id=11631&

[lostreality]

wheres the option:

"forcing sex wee down some bitch's throat"

[munganah]

truly,we are all assholes and i think we are all proud of it
but dat iz man

[Sagacious]

well, having a penis would help, but belching i guess...
But Booberella why covet just one penis when with the right approach you can have as many as you want and more.

[antiwar]

lol the manliest thing i can do is get a boner .....

nothing givvves you that warm fuzzy feeling inside better that when the soldeir is saluting

[Thyrd]

Fucking air guitar! :metal:

[ShinymetalASS]

well, having a penis would help, but belching i guess...


I already have a penis, but since most of you cunts dont play WoW, y'es wouldn't know.... ;)

[Sagacious]

I already have a penis, but since most of you cunts dont play WoW, y'es wouldn't know.... ;)
Should we perhaps be calling you ShinymetalSCHLONG ?

[MisterBishi]

I got neg rep from the cult of Denis Leary. These people clearly need more Bill Hicks in their worlds.

[Android]

Hi I am a cute new toy by the (RANDOM OBVIOUS OVERDUB for slight comic effect) that actually Let's you See What Real People think" on any old one, its fun i think I'll try it on gramma oh wait she's dead me pauses and smiles lauralee's gran was such a funny fuckin lady assholes taking pisses when oi (lay down) Willow ! irrational yell to dog that I gotta remember in one day
I just picked any old, I picked the last one just to put up a write-in vote I was *sure* was gonna be a the punchline "all of the above", so upon the non-choice of my favourite exact type or sect of "Sarcastic" humour; I just wrote in my own...
using whatever handy that I thought would be funnier, but close enough for jazz.

See, but the point is, I followed the GAME correctly which is more of a pure art form, but wtf cares? I like a laugh now at then at stupid shit - I mean I know, write? So me admits I really love sick, gallows stoopid humour of a certain web page when I get the time. I don't do it much, though. I mean come on, this is real life over here, like hey? Plain please, with a glass of plain sody water (mind amuses itself quickly flashes of a perfect *insert YOUR FAV" here example from amoung popular current culture of day then synaps fire quickly no to another even funnier while thinking that's shit me wife passes by and I smile wishing she was awake & cracking up with me, it's more fun) <- actual time synapse lasted a mere .0000001 ) and so, tangent in mind complete mini-thought; <-time unknown ) ah fuck it where was I okay lets wrap this up without looking too stoopid after all it's suppose to be a joke, but I don't really care all that much, it's just entertainment ffs - it's not like wow I got a lot of choices here, so I will take the worst and get through my MS crying my eyes out; c'mon every normal person knows humour is bad for the soul. I know I should be dreaming of the day when I say "I shall" standing over the cheering crowds as then "looks em in eye to amuse self in mirror, ends with a mighty " sheer willpower alone"; oh, hey sweetie, Willow do you need to go out <- everybody assuming a family pet of some type perhaps, ohhhhhh makes regular ppl noises as I', hurting all over, I hope it aint too hot I'm just sooooooo tired, ok stand up steady self like what else is new as I think with usual spasms tremours etc; sux, poor Lauralee shes so delusional with that damn illness of hers how can I convince her these ppl aren't real, just cartoon chars see? avitar avitar avitar etc; see? no real p-pl - well maybe them they wwere nice to her right? Who cares the problem is she just HAS to get over the illusion that taking idiots seriously is bad for you, good thing she's in therapy, but then again, you cant just stop whats the big deal oi ppl are dumb who cares alright WILLOW! yells irrationally at dog knowing i love her and should be so sarcastic love her, pills um it's so hard tobe disabled - she'll grow strong and healthy and be awww, thats why I love my baby so cute , damn!my shakes head with messed up hair and yawning just goes to get up reach um yep okay, ahhh. bed....)HOLY SHIT! Was this thing left ln th on position? Every one will see my weenie! like i got better things to do See, thats why she can someday hopefully can be normal again thru healthy outlets like using stranger for bait to take out your frustrastions on; but how much can that day fuckem where re happy THEY MIGHT SEE IT like who cares dood, mmm she smalls nice drift off to sleep.








wtf is this mess now?
another one yells
just that jerk that loves his wife
oh shes a real bag of fun (says another for some unknown idiot who is dumb as a bag of hammers me thinks



Oh, hi guys - I just woke up, took a pee, doing regular ppl stuff we are so specail cm'ere spiday awwww how cute my little family. who gives a fuck her mom is such a wackko fuck her i am so glad she didnt let thyat stuff up her head that would be SO much better for her ahhhh sleep ah SHIT fucken pills what time when does she ah its alright and falls back to sleep with poor wife who cares about imaginary ppl. awwww she has such a good heart as I hope the pain killer works so I can finally get some sleep and oi so much to do i gotta get those yawns forms typing is getting a little shakey I hate this keyboard its so perfect its one with those clever little each hand thingys just stfu go to sleep i got really important things to do like wake up early and fix poor Lauralees favourite problem today with her imaginary play buddy which is so healthy for her ah well, well be ok I can always do...... and falls asleep in avg bed, avg house, avg thoughts, problem is terminal stupidity in both of us; ohthatsso healthy, but wearesick ppl that should be keept in bars they think I drink constantly its so weird before laws any not my age old i heard thats life cute loves old aussie shit moved here for better chance so unhealthy to try to get on with likef life must spell perfectly if I want ppl to take the piss outta my wife for being drunk because she types at like 90wpm shich she never just happen to take in highschool a reallly long time ago what a fucken buncha freaks ah well its hard with such unhealthy with some things


okkay i'm going now after purposely keeping major thing in life ability to charm total strangers who may/maynot be my age with my impressuve leet oh wait thats not the kcii ajhcool way oops! almost slipped with the spelling so majorly important who cares i got a real life poor thing i hope she keeps this random bunch of whackos who are so funny yet pathetic but mix of semi intelligent who think extra special ppl just avg must shoot all it is much healthier i need help can't lay abou6t w/me wife all day in peace slep nornal
care so much!!!! SWait perfect ucons so unhealthy dreaming of being happy like
as me fills every page o the letter and actuall gives a fuck while looking around for the cat, did she let him out ok its daytime and sunny

[Android]

If you are one of the few who actually reads quickly & perfectly enough - can you please adjust my laser to point this out is it reaching the wayway back.


Android wants to know if ppl really like to act like this but doesn't have a life

[Android]

I SOLVED ALL THE WORLD'S GENIUSES GREATEST P4ROBLEMS WITH THE RIDDLE OF THE Sphinx.

the great question "WTF happened to ZGeek"

I got one answer when it all changed according to the most accurate she almost looks human (swelled head, but blowup ddoll parts slighty old wtf good root all counts not love takes care of me animals
wow, must set alarm to wake up utmost importance to tell total strangers oh what a shame, someone that used to be someones friend just "DOESN'T get it" because she's too dangerous

Oh, right dramatic effect end of Gill can't say that it's not common yeah but the mopnsters from chikldhood in the so frightened couldnt care less too far friend/not friend/ maybe lies? Awwwwww alllover shit when you work so hard on your dream new server already full of those two kooks doing their therapy session while dreaming how nice it be at the top Like I give a fuck who cares back back not -

[Android]

Taking up someone elses time & resourses whether who they are. Things change life sux.

Is anyone enjoying this? Or does the world top/middle/bottoms managers, everyone/important ppl, etc like I give a fuck opsmods secrets locations.
'
FFS! Have I made my point? Or should my capricious little heart care whether this may or may not hurt someone?

All depends .... anyone care? some may but who knows posers its the internet maybe friends & love

I DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHER PPL. I MAY OR MAY NOT BE DRAMA QUEEN WHOEVER OWNS SYSTEMS LEFT LIGHTS ON

cOMMUNICXATtion imposssble captain no phones english barriers doesn't matter hearts lies mean who cares? Will it stop? Dunno... hey I got a great game of who gives a fuck lets alll jump off different bridges and tell lies that will ruin everythingb while doing macarena
Will it stop, will someone get mad did somebody get they're itsy bitsy but I workso hard its my life unfair except in Tues when new regime go in.


I am like, so impressed and upsessed (spelling counts) I wish this was my life.
You are all so cool to express opinions wow.


This is a random / intermitten unacceptable wrong place while youre seruiiys I didnt know he owned the damn thing hear abiyt her disability.

[ewe2]

Hell I ain't manly but I am grown up.

[Bostonmess]

I once set fire to my armpit. Ok maybe that's more stupid, but I was young and very high on some concoction.

That event always reminds me of the time a friend set fire to my crotch while I was pissed (think heavy rock jeans style with fraying patches). What's the first thing you do? That's right, I slapped myself in the bollox http://forum.zgeek.com/images/icons/icon506.gif

[Jack]

gettin real gangsta in san andreas

[ewe2]

god i hated some of those missions

[eeefreak]

i give this thread 3 stars. http://www.amilitarywife.com/images/flags/additionalflags/3%20stars.jpg

[ewe2]

all of the above

[Mandeville]

The other thing that is incredibly manly is wearing armour. Most of you wouldn't have done it, but wearing a full suit of armour, then belting another bloke is the ultimate in manlyness.

Heh, I do that to prove my manliness as well. Only, I'm a woman.

Me likey the hitty thing though. Bash!

[gertie]

definately air guitar... it just works so well with my permed mullet

[Hideo]

Could someone throw me a bone here ...what the fuck is Android on about?

[unscripted]

Invoking logic

[Supreme_Cmdr]

I'd vote for contact sports (Rugby Union), nothing like going out there to hurt ppl then shaking hands and having a beer at the end of the game. Watching sport also counts, unless it is shite like Golf or Tennis.

And looking at boobies, when some good ones go by and everyone stops talking, looks, compares notes and continues on talking.

[druckfugged]

Could someone throw me a bone here ...what the fuck is Android on about?

Trying out for a job as an automated spam text writer

[Hit And Rum]

"Well Bill, I'd go one step further than that even and say that I think the high five should be outlawed from the game alltogether. It's just a bit of Seppo bullshit that the West Indies have brought into the game, and I reckon that when it comes to congratulating one of your teammates there's simply no better way of doing it than the traditional Australian hug or a kiss or a lick, a grope on the backside or a bit of a dry root. It's still the most appropriate way I think of showing ones exuberance and excitement, and it's certainly the most masculine and manyly way of going about it"

[muppet]

i saw air guitar
then i saw this

http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Kris/working.png (http://www.explosm.net/comics/866/)
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net (http://www.explosm.net/)
i dunno why, but i think that is rather lol