surprise surprise...man needs advice

[mªrty]

ok, so i have this ex. we fizzled for what i believe to be the following reasons:

no sex. my choice.
she was working full time as check-out chick.
her parents weren't keen on me.

it's been....about 5 months since we broke up. but lately she has been doing different things; going to tafe for various things. i have changed my mind on the sex issue. and finally, her parents don't actively dislike me any more (i don't think...they still answer the door and go "you must be looking for *hername*" )

any suggestions or ways of phrasing my desire to get back together? i have trouble forming the words. i mean, it might be obvious to her as we have devloped a healthy sms/email relationship. i even helped her fix up her resume now that she has qualifications under her belt.

[MisterBishi]

Just ask her out for a drink you crazy man.

[Booberella]

so when you say
i have changed my mind on the sex issue
do you mean, you now want to have sex with her?
born 1986, so you're... 19/20? it depends on how old she is, and theres why her parents didnt like you. if you turn up at her house and she broke up with you, that would be considered wierd and stalkish unless you talk to her

[Booberella]

Just ask her out for a drink you crazy man.
shes prob underage *shakes fist at non beer laws for under 18's*

[MisterBishi]

Hey Boobarella, thanks for the input but I think we already managed to fix this right up.

If she was working full time and is now going to TAFE then I'm pretty sure she's not underage, and if she is she should shake her cute little ass to school.

[Booberella]

*shrugs shoulders* meh think so, i think you can from 15...
i know buying a drink solves EVERYTHING but im interested in the situation
he says he broke up for the following reasons

no sex. my choice.
she was working full time as check-out chick.
her parents weren't keen on me.
was there maybe a ...um i dunno, lack of interest and affection? it just doesnt seem like those are big enough reasons to split up

[Up_All_Night]

personally those reason arent the reason you'd break up with someone. the girl working as a check out chick, wasnt acceptable to you, now she's going to tafe she's acceptable. You're looking at the relationship from the wrong side of the issues. It shouldnt matter if she's a tafe student or a check out chick if there's chemistry.
Sex issue is different for every relationship.
parents no liking you, parents generally dont like who their daughter is going out with and it shouldnt matter.

make sure its just just superficial changes that make u wanna be with her again, and that its because you really like her as if those things werent an issue didnt come into the it at all.

[sperm]

booberella: in another thread marty mentions she is going to be 19 soon (amongst other details of how they broke up)

Are you sure she wants to get back together again ? In my bitter world, girls just want to be friends; especially teenage early 20s ....

But if you are still keen to get burnt, try suggesting going out to an innocent movie together, and gauge her reactions mid-flick when you half-snuggle into her :O

[MyPetMonkey]

i even helper her fix up her resume now that she has qualifications under her belt.

You must have donerer her a heaper good.... :boxing:

[etherealchild]

There is always the infamous "Hey, wanna come over to ::FUCK ME RAW::hang out and watch a movie?"

Dude, you had a relationship, and I assume you are still friends....... do I need to draw you a manual?

When a girl is done with a guy, she is done...... she obviously isn't with you.

[mªrty]

Boobarella: "do you mean, you now want to have sex with her?"
yes. and it was a mutual break up. she emailed me while i was visiting family in america asking where we were going etc. so i said "maybe we could try being just friends".

Sperm:
yeah, same ex-g/f as the other thread

Up_all_night:
it wasn't that she was unacceptable, but when she was solely working, our conversations were generally more boring. not that they all sucked. just they are better now...
and there was chemistry. it just seems nicer now is all i can say.

i am 19. she is 19 in a couple of days....also, her older sister got pregnant at like 19 or 20 yo....so her parent's were never inclined to like me....

i feel like MisterBishi might be right. just call and say "wanna go see *movie* or get dinner?"

[MisterBishi]

Of course I'm right. We could have had this whole thread wrapped up in two posts.

[spurr]

any suggestions or ways of phrasing my desire to get back together?

I've always thought "It's not gonna suck itself" is rather succinct.

The other alternative is a pride-swallowing "Hey, I might have been a bit hasty breaking up with you. How about we give it another shot?"

[rbranson]

any suggestions or ways of phrasing my desire to get back together?

You are not specific about what her desires might be or whether they might be compatible with yours any longer.

The best course of action is not to have any expectations. You might try inviting her to an activity where you would invite a friend and see where it leads (movies are the best).

If she likes you to be more than just a friend, all the better. If not, then you still have a friend, and if that's unacceptable, then you can move on.

Point is, you have to give it time and realize that it's just not your desire to get together with her that will change the outcome -- there has to be a tangible interest from her. You either give it time to manifest itself or you move on.

Otherwise, it just becomes a form of stalking.

[mªrty]

yeah, i invited her to a 'group' movie on sunday night. went well.

tonight i took MisterBishi's advice and just said "hey, i got a movie, wanna watch it?" so we did. then played cards (i had never heard of the game 'shithead' before). i made it clear i was glad we were doing stuff together again & we both had fun.....

how she responds......we'll see.

[MisterBishi]

There we go mªrty. If I'm first to respond to your thread in future, you have the power to close it - and avoid having to put up with the type of nonsense we've heard from the losers above. http://img447.imageshack.us/img447/5392/icon146gj.gif

[sperm]

heh, any chance your last name is 'mcfly' ? :rofl:

[mªrty]

haha, no, but my mum's maiden name was 'mcmurrer' :P ....close....

MisterBishi, everyone's different is too intriguing :) but now i am learning who's who around here.

[Booberella]

im booberella, the no spelling, no punctuation, no grammer no-boobies-noobie

[lostreality]

haha, no, but my mum's maiden name was 'mcmurrer' :P ....close....

MisterBishi, everyone's different is too intriguing :) but now i am learning who's who around here.

when bishi is around, keep ya arse to the wall, he swings both ways ya know.

[MisterBishi]

I'll swing for you in a minute buddy :spingo:

[mªrty]

I'll swing for you in a minute buddy :spingo:
haha, love it.

as for a finale to this thread, it will appear we will remain friends. seems to be working that way :)