Help!

[Arcane1]

My wife quit smoking 12 days ago... Twelve days of sheer HELL has been the result for me and the kids. Twelve days of bitching, ranting, being difficult as HELL and an irritatability factor that exceeds 200% of the previous maximum.

Would anyone on another continent or at a minumum of 1000 miles from Chicago like to put up myself and the 2 kids for awhile? We'll cook, clean, do laundry and be good guests, everything... seriously. Things are getting desperate.

Granted, she smells better... but at this point we can't stay near enough to her for that to matter. At this rate, I may go back to doing drugs or drinking heavily and regularly.

Anyone else survive the experience of a spouse quitting smoking ?????

[gunsella]

come on over, bro.
summer is just about to kick in and i live 5 mins from the beach.
i have adsl.

what more do you want?


no seriously, do you want to live in my appartment for 6 months from january?

[label]

Woah! 12 days is pretty good. The initial few weeks are the worst, I think its about 3 weeks so you have another 9 days to go.

I' d offer my floor, but can't stand kids. Check into a hotel!

Is she using patches/ lozenges or anything? That may help with the nicotine withdrawal. I haven't got the willpower to stop and the thought makes me crabby - so just lighting up now.

[The Avatar]

Tell her that the best cure for smoking is semen.

Whenever she gets a craving for a fag(a smoke if you're not familiar with australian slang), give you a blowjob.

[King_Crud]

i quit smoking but it wasn't hard, you need the right mental frame. Try and explain to her calmly and pleasantly that her mental frame is all wrong and she needs to fix it. I'm sure she'll understand and change her ways.

[DCenT3]

Slap her then tell her to shut up

nah jks lol


(c'mon think about it, do it, do it, do it)

[Scumbag]

This thread has made me spark up a ciggie.



gunsella: Can I live in your apartment for 6 months ? ... Or at least for the duration of summer ? :)

[Kyle]

If you were willing to drive three hours and sleep on a couch or the floor you could shack up with me, but I don't think the situation is that bad yet. :D

Good luck with that, hope she can get through the whole thing because it'll be for the best in the end.

[rbranson]

You need protection from your wife, pronto.

Arcane -- I will posting a member of the Cat Tactical Squad outside your door, effective immediately:

http://www.sandy-xxx.com/foro/YaBBImages/avatars/No_Mires.jpg

:elefant:

[Seeker]

Help!

Help! I need somebody,
Help! Not just anybody,
Help! You know I need someone,
Help!
When I was young, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way,
But now these days are gone and I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors,
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down,
And I do appreciate you being around,
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please please help me?
And now my life had change in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze,
But ev'ry now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down,
And I do appreciate you being around,
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please help me?
When I was younger so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in anyway,
But now these days are gone I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down,
And I do appreciate you being around,
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please please help me?
Help me. Help

Going for a smoke..................

[Colonel Kurtz]

Get her on the fucking patches for fuck's sake

[MAX POWER]

Give her some Heroin, that'll calm her down.

[lostreality]

have a fag in front of her then blow smoke in her face.

[Conny!]

Smoke some of da reefer mon. That will chill her the fuck out. :D

[Arcane1]

Hmmm... after reviewing all the options, I'm thinking that I should:

-Tell her just to reframe her thinking and "get over it"
-Slap her and tell her to STFU
-Demand oral sex as an alternative to having a ciggy in her mouth
-Sing her a Beatles tune to get her in the mood for the sex
-Giver her some high dosage nicotine patches
-Blow cigarette smoke in her face while getting the blow job then light up a joint

Then,
-Head for the hospital to have my penis reattached after the shredding
-Stop home after the surgery to hit her with some heroin
-Head over to Gunsella's place for a few months while things cool down.

I knew I could count on you guys for a great Plan! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[lostreality]

no worries mate, glad to be of help.

[Marshall77]

one of the guys at work just gave up he used the gum. I have to sit next to him (which is enough to make most people a little waky) and there was no crazy quittingness from him. Unlike other people I know how have given up and taken up just to have an excuss to act like a complete c#@t.

Go the Gum (just dont chew with your bum)

But thats another story.

[Conny!]

We are indeed awesome.

[Conny!]

one of the guys at work just gave up he used the gum. I have to sit next to him (which is enough to make most people a little waky) and there was no crazy quittingness from him. Unlike other people I know how have given up and taken up just to have an excuss to act like a complete c#@t.

Go the Gum (just dont chew with your bum)

But thats another story.


Nicotine suppositrys. I wonder if there is a market for them.

[DCenT3]

Find that new nicotine beer, u can calm her down with the nicotine and get her drunk at the same time (dont get any ideas ;) ). She can become an aloholic aswell lol.

[The Avatar]

Hmmm... after reviewing all the options, I'm thinking that I should:

-Tell her just to reframe her thinking and "get over it"
-Slap her and tell her to STFU
-Demand oral sex as an alternative to having a ciggy in her mouth
-Sing her a Beatles tune to get her in the mood for the sex
-Giver her some high dosage nicotine patches
-Blow cigarette smoke in her face while getting the blow job then light up a joint

Then,
-Head for the hospital to have my penis reattached after the shredding
-Stop home after the surgery to hit her with some heroin
-Head over to Gunsella's place for a few months while things cool down.

I knew I could count on you guys for a great Plan! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Pffft!!! Don't you know anything??!!

You never demand oral! You suggest it as a natural alternative to her shittiness. Otherwise she will never do it.

The trick is you have to make it seem like a major sacrifice on your part. You have to convince her that you wont enjoy it, but are doing it to help her out!

[MAX POWER]

I knew I could count on you guys for a great Plan!

Dad always told me I'm an ideas man. :banana:

[oggy]

get out while you still can, run for the fuckin hills!

[d3kst3r]

I used to have a psycho mum back in the day. She wasn't just psycho, she was fucking homicidal. Whenever she had PMS she'd fucking threaten to slit people's throats and take knives from the kitchen and threaten us. Not to mention she'd break shit like TVs and guitars etc. After living with her for 16 years I kind of grew used to it and even started bitching back. I finally overcame the bitch when I started to unleash my own homicidal psychosis which involved lots of breaking shit and screaming.
When I see people arguing now and someone makes a big scene and everyone else is shocked, I don't find it shocking at all. I'm pretty calm most of the time but when someone tries to push me into a corner I can become a fucking demon.

[Colonel Kurtz]

Divorce ... the final solution

[lostreality]

is your wife hot?