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Pirate
11-01-2006, 12:28 PM
Showgirls is a fucking awful movie. I’ve never seen a more convoluted load of shit on my television before. But with the amount of boobs and nudity, the movie becomes as gripping as watching a car crash.

I don’t know where to start on the story. But it seems to have been written by a person who really wanted to write for a day time soap opera like "The days of their lives" or something like that. But they couldn’t due to their addiction to crack cocaine, so instead they wrote this. The story runs like this. Small time stripper wants to get big, so she moves from her small strip club to a bigger club in Vegas. She fights to get a understudy position with the head stripper who is also an evil, lesbian bitch. There are all sorts of betrayal and double dealings and this is where the story becomes incredibly stupid.

All during this, the only black woman in the story gets really hard done by. She has her knee broken, then she’s gang raped. But she’s also the moralistic character so, the evils done to her really bring home how evil these people are… holy fuck... it makes me cringe just writing this. So much so, I cannot continue writing this review. So I will wrap it up quickly.

Good things about this movie.

1. Nudity. Heaps of it, and it’s good.

Bad things about this movie.

1. Everything else.

I suggest this movie to people who like sticking light bulbs up their ass and squeezing. If you do happen to watch this movie. Treat it like a Britney Spears film clip. Turn the sound down and turn it off as soon as you reach climax.

Cpt Jellybean
06-07-2006, 02:04 PM
I saw this film at a press review showing. I couldn't believe they'd let the press see it before it came out, especially when during the film everyone was laughing out loud about how bad it was.

You are right though Pirate there were some nice boobs in it.

Sagacious
06-07-2006, 02:11 PM
Fuck you scored this as an overall 1 that's about 15 higher than I had it.

ShinymetalASS
06-07-2006, 02:30 PM
I think you make the mistake of assuming there was a plot, and that something was actually written down somewhere.

I think it went

-someone talks

-BOOBS

-someone talks maybe some more about something

-BOOBS

-someone talks about some boobs

-BOOBS

-BOOBS

-ahh fuckit, can we have some more BOOBS over here?

NP - make sure we get that desperate chick who used to be on saved by the bell cause she'll get her goodies out since she cant act and really hasn't been in a goddamn thing since.

JessicaDV8
06-07-2006, 02:40 PM
How could you not thoroughly enjoy this movie? It has the only funny rape scene I have ever witnessed. (They chewed on her while making pirate noises and going "Moooohahaha!" Comedy GOLD.) The sex-in-the-pool scene has won an award for being the worst sex scene ever recorded on film and is compared to the first ten minutes of Jaws. It also has an evil protagonist, and how often does that happen?

Buffy
06-07-2006, 02:46 PM
ahaha I was just about to mention that sex in the pool Jessicedv8 :D It looked like she was having a fit!
I have to agree about the rape scene too, I can't believe the whole movie even got made, hilarious :p

offcuts
08-07-2006, 09:12 PM
funny thing about this was that it was written by the same guy that wrote total recall... i get the feeling that he should be sticking to action movies....:bikini:

Vardsy
19-02-2007, 05:32 PM
Elizabeth Berkley deserved a fucking oscar for this performance - you all suck

Bifrost
19-02-2007, 07:11 PM
I wanted to marry Elizabeth Berkley before seeing this movie. After seeing it (drunk, which made it pretty funny) I knew my relationship with Ms. Berkley would be better as a casual thing.

TheGorn
11-03-2007, 10:47 PM
she has nice tits. I want to put my head in them and go "bwwwwrrwrrrrbbbrwwrrww" or something like that.

LethalCorpse
12-03-2007, 10:54 PM
she has nice tits. I want to put my head in them and go "bwwwwrrwrrrrbbbrwwrrww" or something like that.
The way her career's gone since this, slip her five bucks and I'm sure she'll oblige

Fuzzy Dice
01-05-2007, 04:26 AM
Still better than Battlefield Earth, I reckon.

Lady V
06-01-2008, 11:02 AM
Still better than Battlefield Earth, I reckon.

Of course it is. This one had boobs. As far as I recall, Battlefield Earth did not have boobs.
Unless you count John Travolta.

lizardking
07-01-2008, 11:19 AM
the berkley strip tease was worth a look, but the thrash and splash sex scene in the pool was stupid ;)