Pirate
28-03-2006, 09:22 PM
I had a weird day today. I woke up feeling hazy as I had spent Monday on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I had spent the whole day sleeping and finishing the first of Tad Williams (http://www.tadwilliams.com/)’ Otherland (http://www.tadwilliams.com/volume1.html) series. So on top of sleepy head, I also had the remnants of book head.
For those who don’t read, I can only describe it as when you spend a long time reading and fell a bit jet lagged afterward. Or maybe I am just weird.
Anyway. I got ready for work in the usual way, trousers first, underpants, socks and a hat. And I set off for work. I arrived at the bus stop with out any hassle. The bus came and I lined up with the other drones and got on. I ended up standing about a third of the way down the bus waiting for the bus to go. But it just sat there. After a few moments, the driver stood up and looked over the tops of the passenger’s heads and looked directly at me.
“You.”
“Yeah.”
“Off”
“What the fuck?”
“Off”
“Why?”
“The bus can’t move with you on it” and he just left it at that.
How could I argue with that? I’m a portly bastard, but I certainly wasn’t captain huge who occupied a few seats by himself further behind me. I had grown a beard over the last few days, so maybe I looked ethnic, but that doesn’t work as I live two blocks from Norton St (Wog central for non-locals) so that didn’t work either. Maybe it was my shifty gaze (http://forum.zgeek.com/gallery/files/6/7/9/6/cunt_pirate.gif) or rugged manliness (http://forum.zgeek.com/gallery/showimage.php?i=14171&catid=searchresults&searchid=4133) that intimidated him. So I asked him to refund the cost of swiping my pass through (you only get ten trips per pass). But he refused.
Fucker.
Either way, I got off. I wasn’t capable of coping. He will meet his fate at the edge of my sword another day. So I sulked back to my stop and waited for the next bus. It turned up a few moments later and I got on no worries after I explained my position to him. “Yeah, that guy’s a cunt when he’s high”.
So I go to work and as I walked toward the glass doors, I noticed a huge greasy smudge in the middle of the door. It was shaped like a score of foreheads and faces had smacked against an inoperative automatic door. As I got to my feet again I noticed that the foyer was also packed. And an Indian guy was cramming people into elevators and leaning into each swiping his pass and pressing every button on the board.
It turns out that my building doesn’t like changes in day light savings and needs another hour of nap time before it would turn on. Considering this daylight savings run-over is only for a week. I can look forward to an all stations trip to the top every morning. Man, Y2k wasn’t anything on this.
So work goes ok. They tell me I can have Friday off too. But I have to be at work on Saturday by 7:30am. Sonnova…But the daylight savings thing gives me an extra happy moment when I realize in the afternoon that it’s not 4pm, but 5PM! And I get to go home an hour earlier than I expected. I then have this moment totally ruined by thinking I could have worked an extra god damned hour overtime!! Fucking brain.
So I go home. I walk down to the bus stop and I hear some dude shouting out. I know that voice. Oh fuck me. It’s him. William Harris (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/downloads.php?do=file&id=68) the guy who eats his own poo until he blows chunks. He’s sitting (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16982&c=15) at my stop (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16981&c=15). And the cop shop is right behind him. This guy, when confronted with police will go mental and into poopoo-mode. I’ve never seen him do it, but I’ve hear many tales. And that PDF will show you him in action.
Lucky for me, the PDF will remain the only real proof. I got away without the cops showing up. By the way he was carrying on. I wouldn’t have been too long. Fucking loonies.
So on I went. Thinking I was safe now. Home was closer but as my bus was just pulling up to central, it decided to make a exploding sound and come to a screeching halt (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16983&c=15).
I though the tire had blown. But as we made our way out, I saw that the tires where fine. Something more expensive had obviously broken turning the bus into a lop sided low rider (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16984&c=15).
So here I was again. About to explain my bus ticket position again to another driver. Fuck.
Then the bus turns up, I line up get in and fuck me. It’s the same bastard from the morning. But he lets me on now. He’s too distracted by the sight of the broken bus so I can sneak right by him. And I rode his bus all the way home. It was like sex.
For those who don’t read, I can only describe it as when you spend a long time reading and fell a bit jet lagged afterward. Or maybe I am just weird.
Anyway. I got ready for work in the usual way, trousers first, underpants, socks and a hat. And I set off for work. I arrived at the bus stop with out any hassle. The bus came and I lined up with the other drones and got on. I ended up standing about a third of the way down the bus waiting for the bus to go. But it just sat there. After a few moments, the driver stood up and looked over the tops of the passenger’s heads and looked directly at me.
“You.”
“Yeah.”
“Off”
“What the fuck?”
“Off”
“Why?”
“The bus can’t move with you on it” and he just left it at that.
How could I argue with that? I’m a portly bastard, but I certainly wasn’t captain huge who occupied a few seats by himself further behind me. I had grown a beard over the last few days, so maybe I looked ethnic, but that doesn’t work as I live two blocks from Norton St (Wog central for non-locals) so that didn’t work either. Maybe it was my shifty gaze (http://forum.zgeek.com/gallery/files/6/7/9/6/cunt_pirate.gif) or rugged manliness (http://forum.zgeek.com/gallery/showimage.php?i=14171&catid=searchresults&searchid=4133) that intimidated him. So I asked him to refund the cost of swiping my pass through (you only get ten trips per pass). But he refused.
Fucker.
Either way, I got off. I wasn’t capable of coping. He will meet his fate at the edge of my sword another day. So I sulked back to my stop and waited for the next bus. It turned up a few moments later and I got on no worries after I explained my position to him. “Yeah, that guy’s a cunt when he’s high”.
So I go to work and as I walked toward the glass doors, I noticed a huge greasy smudge in the middle of the door. It was shaped like a score of foreheads and faces had smacked against an inoperative automatic door. As I got to my feet again I noticed that the foyer was also packed. And an Indian guy was cramming people into elevators and leaning into each swiping his pass and pressing every button on the board.
It turns out that my building doesn’t like changes in day light savings and needs another hour of nap time before it would turn on. Considering this daylight savings run-over is only for a week. I can look forward to an all stations trip to the top every morning. Man, Y2k wasn’t anything on this.
So work goes ok. They tell me I can have Friday off too. But I have to be at work on Saturday by 7:30am. Sonnova…But the daylight savings thing gives me an extra happy moment when I realize in the afternoon that it’s not 4pm, but 5PM! And I get to go home an hour earlier than I expected. I then have this moment totally ruined by thinking I could have worked an extra god damned hour overtime!! Fucking brain.
So I go home. I walk down to the bus stop and I hear some dude shouting out. I know that voice. Oh fuck me. It’s him. William Harris (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/downloads.php?do=file&id=68) the guy who eats his own poo until he blows chunks. He’s sitting (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16982&c=15) at my stop (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16981&c=15). And the cop shop is right behind him. This guy, when confronted with police will go mental and into poopoo-mode. I’ve never seen him do it, but I’ve hear many tales. And that PDF will show you him in action.
Lucky for me, the PDF will remain the only real proof. I got away without the cops showing up. By the way he was carrying on. I wouldn’t have been too long. Fucking loonies.
So on I went. Thinking I was safe now. Home was closer but as my bus was just pulling up to central, it decided to make a exploding sound and come to a screeching halt (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16983&c=15).
I though the tire had blown. But as we made our way out, I saw that the tires where fine. Something more expensive had obviously broken turning the bus into a lop sided low rider (http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/showimage.php?i=16984&c=15).
So here I was again. About to explain my bus ticket position again to another driver. Fuck.
Then the bus turns up, I line up get in and fuck me. It’s the same bastard from the morning. But he lets me on now. He’s too distracted by the sight of the broken bus so I can sneak right by him. And I rode his bus all the way home. It was like sex.