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The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane [Archive] - ZGeek

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edeity
06-04-2006, 09:57 PM
This is the movie that made me the man I am today.

Andrew Dice Clay (US Comedian, banned from performing in something like 20ish US states) is Ford Fairlane: Rock and Roll Detective. When will those feminists learn...... This man is "Un-fucking-believable". A god amongst the single-cell amoebas of comedians. "I love you all" (the creepy stalker dude).

To sum it up in one line, is the quote: "Some play hard to get, I play hard to want". This is the essence of Ford.

Plot Spoilers, AKA the review:

Ford Fairlaine appears to be the uber cool dude, in hip early 90s LA, except a few seconds into this film, you're getting conflicting messages. Ford appears to think he is the uber cool dude.... but the rest of the world has kinda moved on. "I'm gonna have to ask you to put that out Ford, no one smokes anymore".

Ford is hunting down the stalker of the rock group "The Pussycats". "So many assholes, so few bullets". Ford is the king of corny one liners. As in they really suck and are really lame. It's so crappy its refreshing.

Ford's rock and roll detective business is going down the toilet. The rock business pays in gifts, not cash. In reference to the Koala given as payment by INXS - "Fuckin' Australians. Don't we do nuclear testing there?"

Within a 24 hour period, he of course gets 3 clients all chasing the same person: Zu Zu Petals. It is here he gets to let us know his pet name for his penis is Stanley "...as in the power drill".

And dont forget to answer the phone with the radio station slogan to win the prize! (EVERY phone call Ford takes, he answers with the radio station slogan to win "a cool million").

Zu Zu is, of course, the source of the reference later about the cheese grater....

Ford of course learns about love, saves the day and gets the girl.... sort of. His guitar, the "FENDER STRATOCASTER STRUNG UPSIDE-DOWN FOR A LEFT HANDED GENIUS JIMMI HENDRIX" does not survive the film.

A must see, unless you're the type that needs a structurally correct movie review, in which case you will find it immature and miss the whole point.

"YABA DABA DOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" (yes its a quote from the movie)

dozer
06-04-2006, 10:02 PM
whats the definition of a vagina? the box a penis comes in.

Snowball
06-04-2006, 10:10 PM
I have not seen this movie in years, it is a great film! I will have to get it out this weekend.

Tyrany
07-04-2006, 09:14 AM
Neil and Bob. Are those your names, or is that what you do?

Light me, Jazz.

Looney_Tunes67
07-04-2006, 09:54 AM
Here. Have a twinky snapper head.

Eds
28-04-2006, 02:11 AM
You're a stand-up guy, Julie. Here's to you.............suckin' my dick!

spurr
08-12-2006, 12:00 AM
Bootie time!

Mr Bigglesworth
08-12-2006, 12:02 AM
Great Movie :)

"Hickory, dickory, dock, a chick was sucking my cock."

imp
08-12-2006, 12:23 AM
I have it on DVD. I love it. ;)

Fuzzy Dice
08-12-2006, 01:14 AM
What a coincidence. I too have this movie on DVD and love it.

"what? did you think we'd really kill the flucking koala bear?"

Shampyon
08-12-2006, 11:33 AM
A friend of mine based his life around the teachings of Ford Fairlane.\
It's that very reason I refused to watch it, denying myself of hilarious corn-ality for far too many years...

Mr Bigglesworth
08-12-2006, 11:39 AM
"Sucking my Dick Tracy".

Sagacious
08-12-2006, 01:21 PM
I LOVE this film.

Johnny Krunch what a guy! and Jazz well what more needs be said after seeing her in that skin tight short short skirt. And the soundtrack. Fabulous.

But it's the one liners that make this movie for me...

The ever present 'You're about 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing moment in your life.'

like when Johnny leaves the message on ford's answering machine about fucking his prom date the night of the prom and ford is asked if that's true and he says 'I hope not I took his sister to the prom'

and 'Hey you do my dishes!'

and when the chick leaves the message on his answering machine and says 'Hi ford its [insert name] I'm walking again.' Gold all pure fucking gold.

Hit And Rum
08-12-2006, 02:09 PM
Your assistant is quite lovely. I look forward to raping her at your fueral.

Cpt Jellybean
06-01-2007, 09:56 PM
Still a classic, "I could shit a Pinyata!"

Marchpig
01-04-2008, 12:18 PM
Having Robert 'Freddy Kruger' Englund, playing the bad pommy accented hitman was a smooth move, knucklehead