Yankees Suck

[kleph]

in light of some confusion among forum members about the standing of one of our more storied baseball teams i have decided to inaugurate this thread to clear the air of misconceptions.

in the spirit of the old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words" i offer you this to start:

http://www.benderband.com/gallery/billsbar/image12.gif

and here is a little ballad (http://www.benderband.com/mp3/yankeessuck.mp3) to explain the final points of this truism...

Yankees Suck

Here's a note to Yankees fans: Derek Jeter is a mo.
He started groping Knoblauch's balls,
you know the ones that he can't throw.
Chucky went to give him the high five
Derek went down for the "flesh hello."

Whoa oh oh

That thing with Mariah Carey, you'll say...
"What the hell was that?"
Male backup dancer heaven, baby
and she's fat.
Now he's down in the village showing guys
how he chokes up AND down on the bat.

Whoa oh oh

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
The men in black, they like to take it from the back
Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
They Suck! They Suck!

Yankees Suck
Yankees Really Suck
Yankees Really Really Suck

Did I already mention that guy Jeter's a little strange?
He's always hangin' round the showers
waiting for guys to change.
On the reacharound
that guys got excellent hands and tremendous range.

Whoa oh oh

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
The men in black, they like to take it from the back
Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
They Suck! They Suck! They REALLY Suck!

Yankees Suck!
Yankees Really Suck!
Yankees Really Really Suck!
Yankees Suck!
Yankees Really Suck!
Yankees Really Really Suck!


for a more complete discussion and exploration of this phenomena i urge you to visit the wisened halls of yankthis.com (http://yankthis.com) and www.yanks-suck.com (http://www.yanks-suck.com/) to gain enlightenment.

[Grumblefish]

Originally posted by kleph
Baseball Sucks!

I fixed your post for you dude. :cool:

[kleph]

you are making a beginner's mistake. it's just like cricket, you just need to be drinking more. and, besides, you were in florida. the marlins are a baseball team in name only. you need a better standard of comparison.

[Grumblefish]

Originally posted by kleph
you are making a beginner's mistake. it's just like cricket, you just need to be drinking more. and, besides, you were in florida. the marlins are a baseball team in name only. you need a better standard of comparison.

I lived in NYC too, and while I was there it was plain to see that New York was the best state in the US.

[kleph]

it's so sad when the delusions strike one so young.

[gIrLgEeK]

Oh, FUCK!

I think I just agreed with Grumblefish !!!!!!!!!

Keep the delusions up, Kleph. Keep believing that drunken bimbos in red bikinis are the ones you go to to learn the profound truths of the universe.

[kleph]

of course you don't. that's absurd. they are just the fringe benefits for those who know the truth.

[Bostonmess]

I don't like baseball either. But I don't mind watching a good game of darts. I don't like cricket, but I don't mind snooker. Each to his own eh? It all just depends what you wanna do. Downhill mountainbiking, now there's never enough of that on the TV :)

Oh yeah, I like drinking :)

[wolfpac181]

Baseball is the great american pastime; Other than killing ourselves via gang wars, school shootings, crack smoking, or drunk driving. I like to stick with the baseball. I'm very happy with my states' Basketball and Baseball team. Sonics and Mariners haven't been the best, but they have been entertaining enough to watch.



Now, for the whole "yankees suck" item. I think being thrown out of a ball field for wearing such a logo, is breaking our ammendment of speech.

[kleph]

Originally posted by gIrLgEeK
I have one word to say: JETER.

And that's the last I will say on the matter because the whole argument is just too pathetic and Kleph can only embarass himself further.

A-ROD BABY! A-ROD!

let's compare hitting:

A-ROD
Batting average: .300
Home Runs: 57
RBI's: 142

JETER
Batting Average: .297
Home Runs: 18
RBI's: 75

now let's compare catching:

A-ROD
Fielding Percentage: .987
Put Outs: 259
Assists: 472
Errors: 10

JETER
Fielding Percentage: .977
Put Outs: 219
Assists: 367
Errors: 14

and now the errata:

A-ROD
times caught wearing a dress: 0

JETER
times caught wearing a dress: 1


i think we must now all clearly conclude that jeter sucks. which makes logical sense since he is a member of the new york yankees ballclub and... as i have repeately pointed out... yankees suck.

[asskickergod]

I'm going to have to go with Grumblefish on this one. Baseball does suck. It's just a bunch of guys running around throwing sticks at each other, just like rugby.

[kleph]

and i don't mind you holding that position because, by extension, you are agreeing that the yankees suck. this is all that is important.

[sagit]

kleph, I am impressed with your presentation of facts above (jeter v a-rod).

I also wholeheartedly support the premise that the yankees suck.

baseball, however, does not suck. IMHO.

[MisterBishi]

Baseball sucks.

Baseball players should be beaten by cricketers who should, in turn, be skinned alive and dropped in salt.

[boozer]

Originally posted by gIrLgEeK
Keep believing that drunken bimbos in red bikinis are the ones you go to to learn the profound truths of the universe.

maybe not the truths of the universe...yet they do seem to make a rather strong argument nonetheless.

[kleph]

well, one thing you can say about jeter is that he's quite a connoisseur of fine whine (http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/2003/0213/1508357.html).

[DJos]

Baseball sucks to watch on telly but is fun to play in RL

[kleph]

As the 2003 baseball season begins anew we must take time out to remember the fundamentals of this fine sport... none more important that the fact the Yankees do now, have always and shall ever suck.

[sagit]

Originally posted by kleph
As the 2003 baseball season begins anew we must take time out to remember the fundamentals of this fine sport... none more important that the fact the Yankees do now, have always and shall ever suck.

i'd just love to add to this...a certain derek jeter got smacked into at third base, which makes me (and kleph, no doubt) dance around with joy....

"Jeter suffers dislocated left shoulder in collision"

http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/2003/0331/1531991.html

[kleph]

well, i loath quite a few players but i'd never wish an injury on someone... other than albert belle and bary bonds, of course.

[kleph]

April is the cruelest month. especially if you are a ranger fan. but i still have the tigers to look down upon so things could be worse.

and there is all the news about the yankees to keep me chuckling through the sports page. like how they got popped for conducting illegal transactions with cuba (http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/04/14/enemy.trading/index.html) or how the lowly devil rays sidetracked their much ballyhooed (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/recaps/20030413/tamnyy.html?prov=ap) "run at the record book."

all proving that as the new baseball season gets rolling the yankees continue to suck.

[kleph]

i've said it before. i'll say it again.

YANKEES SUCK!!!

and, even sweeter, they got blanked (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/recap?gid=231025110&prov=ap) in the last game.

while it tore my heart out to lose longtime rangers catcher pudge rodriguez last year, i couldn't be happier the guy finally got what he deserved with a world series victory. sometimes, everything happens the way it was supposed to.


http://www.zgeek.com/albums/uploads/pudge.jpg

[Asmodeus]

yep.. baseball sucks, its called the national pasttime, since it takes so fucking long.

it has fundamental flaws and need to be revamped to fit modern times and keep it interestng.

we can start out with, once you hit the ball, don't throw the bat, keep yur weapon and charge at any base you want, keeps the other team guessing. thats why so mane people get picked off, they know exactly where you're going.

Then again, new york in general is no prize anyways. and florida? forget it, we keep that state just becuase on a map it looks like we're pissing on the cubans.

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

[sagit]

Originally posted by kleph
i've said it before. i'll say it again.

YANKEES SUCK!!!

...



yep. hella cool :D

[marshmallowmae]

Yankees deserved to lose, even though I would've liked to have seen an American League team win. They have been playing like shit. Yep Kleph, Yankees suck.

[utopian]

Why are there so many anti-american threads in B&R? I expected better from you, kleph. :(

Oh, baseball. ;)

[Ins0mniac]

It must trouble you Kleph, that all Americans are known as Yankees over here.

[Grumblefish]

Baseball season is great over here in Florida. I keep in line with my usual comments of "Yankees are filth", and all these Yankee dipshits keep chiming in with "yeah! fuck the Yankees! I hate Yankees!"

[sagit]

As much as the Yankess suck, they are 1 win away from getting into the World Series again (dammit). Hopefully they'll lose that series.

Cards/Astros. hmmmmm....

[kleph]

i saw that game. i gave up after the sixth inning. i really am begining to believe there is a curse on the red sox. and, gf, florida folks tend to be marlins fans due to the bandwagon syndrome. they are national league so when they say "yankees suck" its because they dont know any better. unless they are from tampa, and tampa's team sucks beyond words.

[tikdoph]

So, kleph... what exactly is it that you're trying to say?

[kleph]

there are various degrees of suckage. from the relatively mundane wrinkle in your sock between your foot and your shoe to greater degrees of suckage such as finding out your girlfriend is discovering her interest in zoophilia exceeds her desire for you.

but there is an ultimate pinnacle of suckage from whece it is not possible to suck beyond. it is such a degree of suckage that it is more than just an acme of sucking yes, it is without limits. and this degree of sucking is embodied by the yankees.

[Bostonmess]

They suck like Man U (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/1159026.stm) then. :D

[FireHart]

Thread Necromancy. Spooky. Who wants to be the lich king?

[kleph]

yeah, i think sagit was looking for this thread (http://forum.zgeek.com/showthread.php?t=23243). it kind of threw me off having gf post of late (i must admit, have been very curious how he would respond to the rep system).

but, since the yankees suckage is timeless and without measure, the age of a given thread is irrelevant. i am certain, when al gore invented the internet, the first thread was about this very subject.

[sagit]

Angels v White Sox

and

Astros v Cardinals

in the CS's

Yankees LOST! again!

w000000000t!!!!

[rbranson]

The worst team money can buy has done it again.

Just wait and see whose ass the Boss hangs out to dry.

Could be even more interesting than the Halos/ChiSox match-up.

What is the Halos team became this year -- the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California of the US of North America, or something like that.

[FireHart]

Hey wtf.