I've never been called a huge poof before...

[Miss Scarlett]

...what have I let myself in for!!

Howdy folks! I am a virgo librarian and am looking for my mother ship - have I found it? Time will tell.

Please don't pepper me with in depth queries re Cluedo, despite the name I haven't played since I was 12. The concept of Miss Scarlett in the library with a candlestick seems to have become a running joke in all aspects of my life over the past six months, so it seemed to be a good online persona to adopt.

Anyhoo, I live in the sticks, and as I am not really that into local footy, Elvis cover bands or date rape, I have to come to places like this for intellectual and cultural stimulation. I tried breeding a companion, but that is still a work in progress. If he ever stops killing elves, nazis, and vikings long enough to come out of his room, I will be able to have a conversation. Maybe when he's old enough to take to the pub things will look up.

As you can probably tell, I don't get out much, so forgive me if I seem a bit scattered, but I am a blonde so deal with it.

My interests include: Horror movies, red wine, reading anything, food, loud music, planning my escape from the hell hole I live in, boots and beer. I prefer dogs to cats, Beethoven to Mozart, Rollins to Biafra, and merlot to shiraz. I am an ex-smoking, straight, meat eating single mum. I think that pretty much sums me up for now.

Well I should probably finish up, as the dog just vomited on the couch.

See ya 'round - Miss Scarlett.

[Colonel Kurtz]

You're a weird mish mash of depressingly urban and fucked in the head.

You'll fit in just fine, Welcome!

[Sleeves]

Have you ever been called a lesbian before?

We welcome lesbians with open arms and a webcam so we all can watch

Welcome to the mother ship

BTW You forgot the prerequisite for joining zgeek.....pic of your boobies

Please post ASAP

[johny_roberts]

Welcome Welcome & Welcome

Note: It was Professor Plumb in the conservatory with the rope for christ sakes

[Colonel Kurtz]

No, no, Miss Scarlett was definitley doing it to her self with the candlestick

[johny_roberts]

I aint playing Clue with you mister cause your one sick fucker :D

[metalhed00]

Howdy folks! I am a virgo librarian…

Virgin Librarian? :wank: :wank: :wank: :wank: :wank:

[johny_roberts]

Virgin Librarian? :wank: :wank: :wank: :wank: :wank:

That would be asskickergod he would be a male virgin librarian do you like that............

once again Scarlett its a great place look around have fun dont feed the wild life

[Miss Scarlett]

Where I live, if you don't root the entire footy team on a regular basis then you are a hardcore dyke. So, yeah, most of the men in town won't leave me alone with their wives.

I am actually holding out for a man with a full complement of chromosomes.

[Xythan]

Welcome to this little old band of social border patrollers...we never venture into the middle if we can help it either...

So, as you've been told...you'll fit in fine...

Now, the question is...how long will this one last before up and leaving folks?

[Colonel Kurtz]

I aint playing Clue with you mister cause your one sick fucker :D
*xrxxshshshs* Pot, this is Kettle, over *XRSSSHHHTTT*

:D

[dwarfthrower]

Hello.

[Haggisboy]

So you're a movie buff, and a horror genre afficionado at that? Hmmmm..... I smell the beginning of a beautiful relationship :banana:

[ShinymetalASS]

I like you.

:)

You're scattered and amusing.

Welcome.

[Hairyman]

Show us your tits or I'll call you a poof.

[Something Fast]

What's it like being a Liberian? Weren't there some fairly big troubles over there a few years ago?

I am actually holding out for a man with a full complement of chromosomes.
It's the ones with more than their fair share you've gotta worry about. Those greedy Down's Syndrome buggers.

I think you'll find though that most guys on Zgeek are more than happy to share their genetic material with ya.

[Miss Scarlett]

What's it like being a Liberian? Weren't there some fairly big troubles over there a few years ago?

The main problem is guerilla warfare since we ran out of cars to bomb. Keeping the men under their burkas is also a problem.

[Colonel Kurtz]

Have you many ships registered, as I hear it's a cheaper and better flag of convenieince than Panama?

[Miss Scarlett]

:tits:

Not only have I found the mother ship, I've found the mother lode!!!! Not to mention a plethora of promising candidates for my bizarre sexual experiments!!!

[Colonel Kurtz]

:tits:

Not only have I found the mother ship, I've found the mother lode!!!! Not to mention a plethora of promising candidates for my bizarre sexual experiments!!!
I would like to know more and can i subscrbe to your newsletter?

[Boobmeister]

:tits:

Not only have I found the mother ship, I've found the mother lode!!!! Not to mention a plethora of promising candidates for my bizarre sexual experiments!!!


Count me in :D

[Colonel Kurtz]

thread useless without pics...

[sperm]

:tits:

Not only have I found the mother ship, I've found the mother lode!!!! Not to mention a plethora of promising candidates for my bizarre sexual experiments!!!
I like you.

:)

You're female and desperate.

Welcome.

Will you run away with me ?


Miss Scarlett
Registered User
Last Activity: 1 Minute Ago 12:54 PM
Private Messaging - 1 Minute Ago


Dammit, somebody beat me to it ! :duel:

[Something Fast]

:tits:

Not only have I found the mother ship, I've found the mother lode!!!! Not to mention a plethora of promising candidates for my bizarre sexual experiments!!!
So *THAT'S* what you're doing in the Library with the candlestick...

[oggy]

what is this mothership you are speaking of?
where will it take you?
will it be fun?
will there be other children to play with?
what food will they serve?
will there be inflight movies?

can i come along?
if i miss the 1st mothership...will there be another?

i cant find the "any" key!
wheres the exit to this place?

[johny_roberts]

Count me in :D

she is looking for men not fellow girls :D

[Miss Scarlett]

Plenty of room for all on the ship or feel free to bring your own.

[Miss Scarlett]

:oops: Yes I prefer men to women. Actually, it depends on the man.

thread useless without pics...

Soon, my precious, soon.

[Scumbag]

Welcome.

So do you live in Albury or Wodonga ?

[Colonel Kurtz]

*rearranges deckchairs*

[Colonel Kurtz]

Soon, my precious, soon.
*dribbling hyperactive caffeine heightened friday afternoon frenzy of anticipation*

[johny_roberts]

*rearranges deckchairs*

did your fat ass break one again :D

[Colonel Kurtz]

did your fat ass break one again :D
*folds jr into aformentioned deckchair like a pretzel, attached to anchor and trolls for giant squid*

[Miss Scarlett]

Welcome.

So do you live in Albury or Wodonga ?

Neither - commute to Wodonga - luurve that freeway!! Actually doing 120 kph with Black flag screaming out the window is the only part of my working week I enjoy.

[Colonel Kurtz]

Neither - commute to Wodonga - luurve that freeway!! Actually doing 120 kph with Black flag screaming out the window is the only part of my working week I enjoy.
Henry!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Miss Scarlett]

IMO - Black flag didn't exist before himself came along.

[oggy]

this thread should be black flagged!

[Sagacious]

Welocme to ZGeek and as for your blonde scatteredness forewarned is forearmed.

You seem refreshingly intelligent and have mastered spelling and punctuation on the electronic interwebmediumthingamabob. This fact alone sets you apart as someone to take seriously here at mothership central.

As for your foreshaddowed interesting sexual experiments all I can do is echo the sentiments of others and say 'useless without pics' same goes for promises of boobies bieng posted as per custom which should be done without furnter delay.

Enjoy your roamings.

That is all. Carry on.

[Miss Scarlett]

Re: boobies - see the last time you wacked off thread.

[HAL]

hi. do you have a steaming hot pippy? byebye

[RedMaN]

Welcome and stuff.
Black Flag FTW! Fave album is Loose Nut ;)

I caught Colonel Mustard playing some hand-to-gland combat in the toilet... he was getting impatient waiting for the 'bizarre sexual experiments'.

Play nicely with the squirrelz... they will fuck you up otherwise.

Soon, my precious, soon.
*pulls up chair next to Colonel Kurtz* :D

[kiki]

*curtsies* pleased to meet you Miss Scarlett

[MAX POWER]

Welcome Scarlett, I always play Col. Mustard. He's so much better than that hussey 'Miss' Scarlett.

[Colonel Kurtz]

*pulls up chair next to Colonel Kurtz* :D
Chip? *passes bag of samboys*

[Miss Scarlett]

Sorry about the disappearing act guys. The kid came home from school so I had to take off the bondage mask and go put on some pants.

OK - so - are we ready? Do I have your attention? Awwriiiiight!!!!

Now, did anyone remember to bring the vegemite?

[Sagacious]

Vegemite - Check
Clingwrap - Check
Car Battery - Check
Jumper Leads - Check
Steel Wool - Check
Rubber Gloves - Check
Sea Sponge - Check
Water Based Lubricant - Check
Catering sized can of Crisco - Check
Chihuahua - Check

Looks like were reay to Pro-Ceed

[Tyrany]

I am actually holding out for a man with a full complement of chromosomes.

Whoever told you that you would find that here must still be laughing. :)

Welcome aboard! You're already fitting in. Please don't take that as an insult.

[Miss Scarlett]

Thank you, Sagacious. A chihuahua, hmmm. Was that really the best you could do? I hope that steel wool is soap free, the other type gives me a rash.

Hello everybody!

We will begin as soon as I find the gaffer tape and roofies.

I am going to need a volunteer; I would prefer someone who does yoga or gymnastics and has their own private health cover. Just one at this stage, but I am sure you will all get a turn. So no pushing, unless that's what does it for you of course.

[Miss Scarlett]

Dammit, somebody beat me to it !

No-one beat anyone to anything. Remember it's not over 'til the blonde woman screams orgasmically. Bring me the alpha male of your group and I will take home his shorter, fatter, balding, sweaty, funny friend. That's usually the way it works.

[FatherShark]

you're going to be a very popular young lady around these parts.

Don't get any funny ideas about Ol' FatherShark though, he's happily married....

[Spades]

Albury then I guess - welcome rural one to the jungle of never ending excitment and grandstanding

[Miss Scarlett]

Don't get any funny ideas about Ol' FatherShark though, he's happily married....

Good for you, FatherShark, and don't you worry your pretty little head about this little black duck.

There is NOTHING less attractive on the face of the earth (and this includes orange-kneed tarantulas) than a man who can't decide whether or not he wants to be with his woman. Either you do or you don't, and all of you Taken, but up for its can fuck off and die a horrible death. :stab:

I like men to be men and not cunts.

Do I still have an audience and has anyone seen where I left the 10 gallon container of salt water?

[Miss Scarlett]

Albury then I guess - welcome rural one to the jungle of never ending excitment and grandstanding

WRONG!!! I am more rural than you cn imagine. Am actually planning possible move to Albury as an upgrade. If you can imagine that.

Nice to meet you, I was starting to wonder where the Adams fans were.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

[sperm]

No-one beat anyone to anything. Remember it's not over 'til the blonde woman screams orgasmically.

It's not over then either, its just a lunch-break ;)

[Miss Scarlett]

Yeah baby!

[plasmo]

You had me at Anyhoo, I live in the sticks, and as I am not really that into local footy, Elvis cover bands or date rape, ... :D

[catt]

Welcome to the fray

[Zedder]

a horrible death. :stab:

I like men to be men and not cunts.

Do I still have an audience and has anyone seen where I left the 10 gallon container of salt water?

Most men here are cunts - sorry to dissappoint

[Miss Scarlett]

Not disappointed, I prefer a small, more intimate audience.

[fragility]

you sound awesome. :)

[johny_roberts]

you're going to be a very popular young lady around these parts.

Don't get any funny ideas about Ol' FatherShark though, he's happily married....

Your might be happy the wife has other things to say :D:greenman:


Note: This thread delivers I dont know what it delivers but it does deliver

[Directed]

Well, Miss Scarlett, I am happy you have decided to grace Zgeek with your presence. You might enjoy meeting Cassa, ShinyMetalASS, and JessicaDV8 on the internets around here (and more). You sound like you are a lot of fun, and definitely like you have a grounded sense of who you are. I look forward to discussing things with you at some point.

Directed.

[Seeker]

you're going to be a very popular young lady around these parts.

Don't get any funny ideas about Ol' FatherShark though, he's happily married....

To his hand.

[~vjay~]

Beware of the men, they'll hump chairs and other inanimate objects if you don't supervise them properly :D

[sperm]

^^^ Thats right, we need more wise patient ppl like vjay to show us how to do it properly :D

[Snapple]

Welcome :):)

[cyberwired]

*doesnt bother reading past page one*

I'm confused, it sounds like spam, it looks like spam, yet there is no url posted...

I swear I've read spam that made more sense





Dear god you will fit in well!

[Miss Scarlett]

you sound awesome. :)

I am!!. You seem gorgeous too!!!

And, NO, we will not be partaking of any lesbian activities, so please stay in your deck chairs.

[The Avatar]

...what have I let myself in for!!

Howdy folks! I am a virgo librarian and am looking for my mother ship - have I found it? Time will tell.

Please don't pepper me with in depth queries re Cluedo, despite the name I haven't played since I was 12. The concept of Miss Scarlett in the library with a candlestick seems to have become a running joke in all aspects of my life over the past six months, so it seemed to be a good online persona to adopt.

Anyhoo, I live in the sticks, and as I am not really that into local footy, Elvis cover bands or date rape, I have to come to places like this for intellectual and cultural stimulation. I tried breeding a companion, but that is still a work in progress. If he ever stops killing elves, nazis, and vikings long enough to come out of his room, I will be able to have a conversation. Maybe when he's old enough to take to the pub things will look up.

As you can probably tell, I don't get out much, so forgive me if I seem a bit scattered, but I am a blonde so deal with it.

My interests include: Horror movies, red wine, reading anything, food, loud music, planning my escape from the hell hole I live in, boots and beer. I prefer dogs to cats, Beethoven to Mozart, Rollins to Biafra, and merlot to shiraz. I am an ex-smoking, straight, meat eating single mum. I think that pretty much sums me up for now.

Well I should probably finish up, as the dog just vomited on the couch.

See ya 'round - Miss Scarlett.

OH MY GOD HONEY PIE!! Where have you been all my life??!!

Will you marry me? I'll send you a picture of myself and my wang as soon as I'm done with this post :)

PS: Librarians are sooooo HOT!! Do you have glasses on a chain?

[Aardvark]

I CANNOT POST IN HERE

Really

I can't

[Miss Scarlett]

Do you have glasses on a chain?

Glasses yes. You get the chain in lieu of long service leave.

[The Avatar]

Glasses yes. You get the chain in lieu of long service leave.

Baby, I'm sooo hot for you right now...

Lets have the reception inside the Non-Fiction section :)

[Tyrany]

Baby, I'm sooo hot for you right now...

Lets have the reception inside the Non-Fiction section :)

And the wedding belongs in the fiction section...

[Aardvark]

The Sci Fi section. Dressed up as a storm trooper and a klingon warrior

[Miss Scarlett]

[QUOTE=The Avatar]
Will you marry me? I'll send you a picture of myself and my wang as soon as I'm done with this post :)
[QUOTE]

Can we take this seriously please guys? This IS my 1st proposal since I was 25.

Can I have that photo please? :dribble:

[Hired Goon]

Listen here lady. I'm sure you're a nice person and what not, but we don't take kindly to your sort around here. Can't trust newbs nowdays, what, with this bein' the internets and all. So, perhaps you should just be on your way, real friendly, like. *wields pitchfork* We don't be wantin' no troubles, see?

[The Avatar]

Will you marry me? I'll send you a picture of myself and my wang as soon as I'm done with this post :)


Can we take this seriously please guys? This IS my 1st proposal since I was 25.

Can I have that photo please? :dribble:

Of course. I'm uploading all my phone photos tomorrow after work.

I've got some pretty steamy pictures of me in the tub with jelly and a rubber hose, but people will whinge because its NSFW(not safe for work).


Listen here lady. I'm sure you're a nice person and what not, but we don't take kindly to your sort around here. Can't trust newbs nowdays, what, with this bein' the internets and all. So, perhaps you should just be on your way, real friendly, like. *wields pitchfork* We don't be wantin' no troubles, see?

I think you're taking that word out of context :p