SOC
24-05-2007, 06:53 AM
OK, let me get this straight. In the first movie (Curse of the Black Pearl), Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) was the bad guy. Captain Jack Sparrow's mortal enemy. Who also wanted to sacrifice Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) to turn himself and his ghostly crew human again. So now, two films later, he's teamed up with Elizabeth and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) to rescue Jack (Johnny Depp). Why? Where's the logic? Where's his motivation for suddenly becoming all buddy-buddy with his enemies?
That's just one of many gripes about POTC: At World's End. For a start, it's waaaaay too long. I mean, before you head to the cinema pack a cut lunch, fill a waterbag and fit a catheter. Yes, it's that long. In fact, director Gore Verbinski seems to get longer with each film — Black Pearl was 143 minutes, Dead Man's Chest was 155 minutes and now this one clocks in at just a little under 3 hours. In his review of Black Pearl, US critic Roger Ebert said that inside it was a nice little 90-minute B-movie struggling to get out. Ditto this time — 2 hours, tops, and this would be a real winner. Gore, take a hint, mate — sometimes, less really is more.
And what is it with Elizabeth looking so gorgeous the whole time? I mean, she's supposed to be a pirate. Yet how many pirates take an entourage of hairdressers and makeup artists to sea with them? I mean, just look at her — there she is, standing among all those dirty, snaggle-toothed, bedraggled pirates, nary a hair or eyebrow out of place, makeup done to perfection, a picture of quiet, seductive beauty. Still, I guess anyone would look good standing next to a guy with a squid for a face.
OK, on to the plot - of which there's a lot. At the start, the East India Trading Company seems to now be running the British Empire and has clamped down on piracy and are busy hanging anyone they suspect even looks like Pirate. Sorry, I mean, even looks like *A* pirate. :D The afore mentioned Barbossa, Elizabeth and Will form an alliance to get Captain Jack out of Davy Jones’ Locker and back into the land of the living for the final showdown.
Which leads me to another gripe — much of the plot (which is just way to busy and overloaded with characters) is obscure and incomprehensible, a bit like Mission: Impossible on the high seas. And for nigh on two-thirds of the film, the dialogue is incomprehensible — either through mumbled or heavily-accented voices, or music and special effectes overpowering the speech. I'm looking forward to the DVD, becuase I can guarantee I'll be watching it with the subtitles on.
All right, enough of the cons — what about the pros? Well, there are a few, but as you'd expect, there is a really big one ... and his name is Johnny Depp. What can I say about his performance as Cap'n Jack that hasn't already been said a hundred times? As with the first two films, he steals every scene he's in. And in scenes there are more than one of him, he steals the scenes from himself (it's complicated, don't ask). Rush comes close — you can clearly see he's enjoying himself, and it's marvellous fun watching him and Depp togther, chewing up the scenery — telescope envy and all. And the final showdown, when it eventually arrives, is well worth the wait — it's an epic, swashbuckling sea battle to end all sea battles. Until the next film. And I'm certain that At World's End — which, despite all my complaints, is still rollicking good fun for the most part — will make bucketloads of money, so you bet your booty there will be a fourth.
But here's some advice for Verbinski, Bruckheimer et al — dump Knightley and Bloom; their characters are dull and have run their course. Just give us Depp, please. Lots of Depp. You know we want it.
Watch the trailer (http://www.totaleclips.com/Player/Bounce.aspx?eclipid=b10003&bitrateid=235&vendorid=782)
That's just one of many gripes about POTC: At World's End. For a start, it's waaaaay too long. I mean, before you head to the cinema pack a cut lunch, fill a waterbag and fit a catheter. Yes, it's that long. In fact, director Gore Verbinski seems to get longer with each film — Black Pearl was 143 minutes, Dead Man's Chest was 155 minutes and now this one clocks in at just a little under 3 hours. In his review of Black Pearl, US critic Roger Ebert said that inside it was a nice little 90-minute B-movie struggling to get out. Ditto this time — 2 hours, tops, and this would be a real winner. Gore, take a hint, mate — sometimes, less really is more.
And what is it with Elizabeth looking so gorgeous the whole time? I mean, she's supposed to be a pirate. Yet how many pirates take an entourage of hairdressers and makeup artists to sea with them? I mean, just look at her — there she is, standing among all those dirty, snaggle-toothed, bedraggled pirates, nary a hair or eyebrow out of place, makeup done to perfection, a picture of quiet, seductive beauty. Still, I guess anyone would look good standing next to a guy with a squid for a face.
OK, on to the plot - of which there's a lot. At the start, the East India Trading Company seems to now be running the British Empire and has clamped down on piracy and are busy hanging anyone they suspect even looks like Pirate. Sorry, I mean, even looks like *A* pirate. :D The afore mentioned Barbossa, Elizabeth and Will form an alliance to get Captain Jack out of Davy Jones’ Locker and back into the land of the living for the final showdown.
Which leads me to another gripe — much of the plot (which is just way to busy and overloaded with characters) is obscure and incomprehensible, a bit like Mission: Impossible on the high seas. And for nigh on two-thirds of the film, the dialogue is incomprehensible — either through mumbled or heavily-accented voices, or music and special effectes overpowering the speech. I'm looking forward to the DVD, becuase I can guarantee I'll be watching it with the subtitles on.
All right, enough of the cons — what about the pros? Well, there are a few, but as you'd expect, there is a really big one ... and his name is Johnny Depp. What can I say about his performance as Cap'n Jack that hasn't already been said a hundred times? As with the first two films, he steals every scene he's in. And in scenes there are more than one of him, he steals the scenes from himself (it's complicated, don't ask). Rush comes close — you can clearly see he's enjoying himself, and it's marvellous fun watching him and Depp togther, chewing up the scenery — telescope envy and all. And the final showdown, when it eventually arrives, is well worth the wait — it's an epic, swashbuckling sea battle to end all sea battles. Until the next film. And I'm certain that At World's End — which, despite all my complaints, is still rollicking good fun for the most part — will make bucketloads of money, so you bet your booty there will be a fourth.
But here's some advice for Verbinski, Bruckheimer et al — dump Knightley and Bloom; their characters are dull and have run their course. Just give us Depp, please. Lots of Depp. You know we want it.
Watch the trailer (http://www.totaleclips.com/Player/Bounce.aspx?eclipid=b10003&bitrateid=235&vendorid=782)