Centrelink

[iaidoka]

It occurs to me, that somewhere along the way i have crossed into a Parallel Universe, where the objective is to *not* gain a job..

Version 1) I want x job. I ring Y job agency. Job agency says have you registered with us? Uh no.. Iv already registered at 2 other joints, cant you dudes like share some network love database? You gotta come in... to Dandy.. too bad the jobs in Moorabin and you live in Cheltenham.. and there is like 3 closer job agencies..

Version 2) I want money for being jobless scum. on the 27th they say we can book you in on the 8th of July... did they miss the part where i have $200 to my name and a couple of grand of debt? speaking of which; anyone want to buy a real healthy kidney ?

Version 3) When did you last work? Feb. How have you been supporting yourself since? Pissing away the last of my assets in the determined , yet foolish, assumption id get a job promptly so i wouldnt need the DOL.. arnt i the model of ambition and self reliance? Well because its been over 3 months you have to have an interview explaining how you have supported yourself since your last job..

meh meh meh I NEED A MOTHERFUCKING JOB AND IM SICK OF THIS STUPID BULLSHIT THAT I TRIED TO AVOID AND I SWEAR TO CHRIST I HELD OUT UNTIL THE VERY LAST MOMENT AND NOW THE BASTARDS HAVE ME AND SHALL SUBJECT ME TO THIS CRAP FOR ETERNITYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH SOMEONE PLEASE BUY MY KIDNEEEEEEEEY

...
thankyou, i feel somewhat better.

[utopian]

Unemployed IT professional? You're not going to get a job in that field. I strongly recommend looking at the hospitality industry. Restaurants always need kitchen hands. It may be shitty money, but it's money. I'm not asking you to make a career out of it, just to give it a shot until something better comes along. I'm not saying to get into fast food, more like restaurants and cafés.

[iaidoka]

I cant even make a cup of coffee.. (diet coke addict)...
you might be on to something however with that hospitality suggestion... thanks ill check it out ^_^ (the desperate will try anything!)

[beowulf437]

Man it's a little late now but it is always good to have something to fall back on. I know it's shitty work but resturants always need dishers. Grounds keeping, forklift operating, and repairing vending machines have helped get me through tough times. Do you have temp or day labour agencies around you they're always good for a couple months employment.

[Holster]

Connexus are looking for a full time helpdesk person atm.
Shit pay, but i know the guy that is interviewing people

PM me if you want

[utopian]

Factory work (like in a chicken place) is shit work but they pay up to $35 an hour.

[Bussie]

Iprumus is also putting on helldesk staff, and Crown should have their next round of Trainee Games Dealer(worth $32000 for first year, plus meals, uniforms, drycleaning and parking all thrown in)

[Mattryx]

I know a good job.

5 months paid training, then starting wage of $42k.... pay rise of 2k after 2 years, and then fairly regularly after that.....

Oh, and you get to carry a gun when you work. ;)

[iaidoka]

thanks for the suggestions for helpdesk.. but im not an IT professional.. i dropped out of TAFE thus no skills really ^_^..

that job with the gun sounds.. dangerous.. i do want to be alive to enjoy the money.. (decent pay tho!)... security guard?

as for the casino.. hey other than the depressing environment.. would be funk as well

[ShadowNemesis]

Why not do a security course? There are always positions for guards.

[Snowball]

Originally posted by utopian
Factory work (like in a chicken place) is shit work but they pay up to $35 an hour.

:cough::bullshit:cough::

[Mattryx]

I was talking about VicPol iaidoka.

Unless you're a dumb shit (no offence intended :p), I'd stay away from security guard positions, unless you're idea of fun is driving around day after day filling up metcard machines, atm's and picking up cash from banks. Woo-fucking-hoo.

[flounder]

As Beowulf mentioned a forklift licence is a handy thing.There is a high turnover through employment agencies.People taking sickies, holidays etc. It is even fun if you get good at it. (I can pick up a 20c piece with a forklift *nerrr*:)
Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and take what pays:(

[Bostonmess]

Originally posted by flounder
It is even fun if you get good at it. (I can pick up a 20c piece with a forklift *nerrr*:)
Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and take what pays:(

But can you put 'em in a vending machine and get chocolate out? No? Then what good is that skill? :D

[iaidoka]

hell yeah a forklift license would be handy as all fuck.. lots of factory jobs i was reading thinking "allright ill give these guys a... oh fuck need a forklife license.."

definately on my "Todo" lift.. i dont mind manual labor... my brains have failed me so i guess its all thats left

Vicpolice eh? I think id be too much of a coward ^_^.. pity because it would be nice helping others.. but yes.. id pass the physical no worries, but im probably lacking in mentality.

[flounder]

Originally posted by Bostonmess
But can you put 'em in a vending machine and get chocolate out? No? Then what good is that skill? :D
$2 coins are easier, 20c buys fuck all in Oz.
If I were dishonest I could flip the vending machine on its back.Pick the entire thing up and place it gently on the back of my ute. It would be easier on night shift.Take it to a secluded place remove all the chocolate and voila'.Pimples!;)

[utopian]

Snowball, Ingham chicken up here was after factory workers and were willing to pay them $35 an hour for the work.

[RaZ]

Originally posted by utopian
Unemployed IT professional? You're not going to get a job in that field. I strongly recommend looking at the hospitality industry.

Mate, sorry but I gotta say this.....

GET A LIFE !!!!

you have no idea about the world of IT !

{quick slap over the HEAD !!!} :p

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BTW, if your having trouble getting work in IT, there is a few simple things you can do.

1. IF .....you can learn from reading a book, go pick up the books for MCSE, MCSA, CCA for Citrix, the books for cisco, what ever you can get your hands on and sit the tests.
They are worth it and don't cost that much (Plus some of us here have them as Ebooks as well)

2. A lot of techs won't drop down to do helldesk or something, face it, a job is a job ! do first, second, hell go back to on-site techie if you want. Don't say no to a job you see in the paper, even if it would be shitty hell desk.

3. review your resume & review what you say in an interview, if your geting shit load of interviews but no jobs, then you just might be saying something wrong or coming across as a know it all.

& one last thing..... if you have long hair CUT IT, if you have a goaty SHAVE IT. WHY ??? Coz if your in IT your ment to be a Professional, END OF STORY !

anyways good luck dude.

[utopian]

Why not share your advice on getting a job in IT seeing as you managed to get one after being out of work for a while. I'm serious. I know you were out of work for a while and I think your advice would be valuable to someone who's in a similar sort of position to what you were.

Edit: who's to say that he can't look for IT jobs while he's doing another job?

[mjolnir]

Originally posted by Bussie
Iprumus is also putting on helldesk staff, and Crown should have their next round of Trainee Games Dealer(worth $32000 for first year, plus meals, uniforms, drycleaning and parking all thrown in)

hey, it is pretty depressing, but for the amount of work u do vs. the amount u'r paid, its pretty fucking good, mate! i'm at star city atm and i'm getting 40k @ the 5 month mark on night shift. helps if u have no life tho, cause u'll b sure to have to work all weekends...

[Princess]

Originally posted by iaidoka


meh meh meh I NEED A MOTHERFUCKING JOB AND IM SICK OF THIS STUPID BULLSHIT THAT I TRIED TO AVOID AND I SWEAR TO CHRIST I HELD OUT UNTIL THE VERY LAST MOMENT AND NOW THE BASTARDS HAVE ME AND SHALL SUBJECT ME TO THIS CRAP FOR ETERNITYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH SOMEONE PLEASE BUY MY KIDNEEEEEEEEY

...
thankyou, i feel somewhat better.


got a sibling with a job??? sometimes places give consideration to siblings of their employees if their employee is worthwhile....

my sis has a job for me as soon as i finish the hsc... yay

just a thought

-princess

[C0V3R]

Originally posted by utopian

Edit: who's to say that he can't look for IT jobs while he's doing another job?

Not to have a go at you, but looking at other jobs seriously while working isnt as easy as it sounds... most interviews will be during the day, the only way to attend will to be to take leave or chuck sickies, and normally short term leave isn't viable. Fortunately I havent been in the position to need to do either.

[utopian]

Yes, because while he's working a part time job in food/hospitality he's going to be working 9-5 every weekday. If he's having a hard time getting a "proper" job and just does simple stuff to earn cash, he won't be on all the time. Most bosses will allow some sort of flexibility on hours if you're only on part-time/casual.

[Sodapop]

Sell crack.

Actually, no do not do that.

Go study. Employers love bits of paper. They also like someone that is a 'no-shit-kinda-person'.

Or fuck it all, buy a surf board, a bong and chill on the dole for a while. Get your head together and stuff.

Or do like I do and get part time work at a uni. Its MUCH more relaxed. The corporate world just wants to suck your soul out and make you into a robot to be used and tossed away. "Cut your hair. Shave that beard. Your tie is too pink. Dont text message your girlfriend while working. Sit up straight. Suck my dick." Fuck them. They suck. You are not part of thier plan, only a conduit to more $$$$ for THEM.

But just chill. Thats what I did in 2000 when the company I worked for collapsed in the I.T bubble burst years. I found myself looking at the solution, not the problem, and found a sweet new employer no probs.

[still life]

Originally posted by utopian
Why not share your advice on getting a job in IT seeing as you managed to get one after being out of work for a while.

Butting in I know, but:

1. Raz is correct , certifications are good for interviews, in fact that's about all they're good for.

2. The job market is like an iceberg, 90% of it is hidden. The best thing to do is to find the company you want to work for, then contact them and ASK for a job, even if they're not advertising. It shows initiative and interest.

3. Ask your mates in the industry, they know who's going to be needing people ^_^

looks like you've got that one covered.

4. Get your resume very well worked out, critical details on the front page, clear and simple formating, etc.

5. Take what ever you can get, regardless of the level, a lot of companies publicly recruit people to the helpdesk, and recruit internally from the helpdesk staff.

And before anyone asks, I've been unemployed twice in the last 3 years, for a grand total of 4 days.

[otaku]

if anyone knows of an IT place (in sydney) that is recruiting (i dont care what i do : helldesk ; gopher ; anything) i am willing to work for em :)

just graduated last year, been doing little bits and pieces (mainly teaching) since.

So common all you loverly people out there - gimme a job :D

[iaidoka]

a lot of you have really given some valuable advice.. and i really apreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

i had a job interview on monday, was going real sweet until they asked why did i leave my last job..

"they sacked me".

sigh, ill never hear from THEM again.

anyway.. im gunna chill and read manga and think happy thoughts.

[utopian]

You don't just say "They sacked me". You need to give a reason why. Something like "Downsizing", "Redundancy" or "I was misappopriating stock and money" should do the trick.

[C0V3R]

Originally posted by otaku
if anyone knows of an IT place (in sydney) that is recruiting (i dont care what i do : helldesk ; gopher ; anything) i am willing to work for em :)

just graduated last year, been doing little bits and pieces (mainly teaching) since.

So common all you loverly people out there - gimme a job :D

Ring up CSR HR in their HQ at chatswood and ask about. They had a few helpdesk jobs going a little while ago, and may have desktop support/etc available. Its a nice place to work IMO (I don't work there any more though).

[Chocoholic]

Originally posted by utopian
You don't just say "They sacked me". You need to give a reason why. Something like "Downsizing", "Redundancy" or "I was misappopriating stock and money" should do the trick.

If I was sacked I would pretend I never had that job. If I needed to put it on my C.V (due to lack of experience or whatever) I would just tell a little white lie about it (sacked = difference of opinion, I thought I that some cash from the till should go into my pocket and my boss didn’t). Personality clash is also good for hiding the truth as after being fired. I for one would hate the person that did it to me.

Plus a little bit of bullshit is worth $5K and honestly who isn’t expecting it?

[iaidoka]

see, this is what shits me. you work your guts out, take it up the ass to the best of your ability, and finally, due to the fact that you do, in fact, NOT like eating shit, you stand up for yourself and get fired..

THEN the next guy that interviews you.. all they listen to is this "fired" or even the lesser "personality conflict".. thats ALL THEY FUCKING CARE ABOUT..

its all meaningless. motherfuckers.

in other news, my wife painted my nails this really funky purple.. looks real neat! by "stuf", "moonraker".. ooooooooooer

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by iaidoka
in other news, my wife painted my nails this really funky purple.. looks real neat! by "stuf", "moonraker".. ooooooooooer

Try High Maintenance by Chi Chi, really dark burgundy.

[ShadowNemesis]

Have you tried getting your security licence and doing that sort of work for awhile or in between jobs. I know there are some assholes who pay low wages, but there are some out there who are definitely willing to pay the right amount of money for the right person. Doing a first aid course also helps.

[SOC]

STOCKING SAYS :: Ok, I've had to deal with the glorious Centrelink (I even sent them an email once to say how their website sucked heartily). Firstly Centrelink is NOT your friend. It will not be ever. My sister who is studying nursing (read an industry where there is severe shortages in Oz) is having to work crap hours + prac hours to support herself through uni (A corporation killed my father - long story, but he can't pay for her/my education). I've tried dealing with them. You get more for being unemployed than for studying.

OK, everyone who says you should work in hospitality has never wprked in hospitality. It is bad money for too much work. My suggestion: work for a friend/friend's parent/friend of a friend in the meantime. Get the work you want/study for something else and live cheerfully.

You are not going to get ahead(anywhere) with Centrelink.

[iaidoka]

Seriously, this security license thing is starting to sound like a good idea, ShadowNemesis. You would be the third person that has suggested it...

First Aid would also look real freaking sweet on a resume...

2 damn fine suggestions. no, wait, 3... I gotta try that nail polish ^_^

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by iaidoka
Seriously, this security license thing is starting to sound like a good idea, ShadowNemesis. You would be the third person that has suggested it...

First Aid would also look real freaking sweet on a resume...

2 damn fine suggestions. no, wait, 3... I gotta try that nail polish ^_^

Not sure what it is like in Melbourne, but my eldest is booked in for a first aid course mid august, and it cost me $160 I think.

[DrDivad]

security guarding is way mega piss easy money!

i do it jsut aprt-time while at uni, as soon as uni finishes i'll fuck it off, but getting paid $18 to read is not bad :P

[C0V3R]

Originally posted by C0V3R
Ring up CSR HR in their HQ at chatswood and ask about. They had a few helpdesk jobs going a little while ago, and may have desktop support/etc available. Its a nice place to work IMO (I don't work there any more though).

Just in case no one noticed my previous post...

[ShadowNemesis]

Originally posted by DrDivad
security guarding is way mega piss easy money!

i do it jsut aprt-time while at uni, as soon as uni finishes i'll fuck it off, but getting paid $18 to read is not bad :P

Yep, alot of uni people do static work. That way they can study when possible. Control Room monitoring is even better. If you are technically minded and not afraid of long hours, and sometimes travel, try and do an installers course.

[pliskin]

Originally posted by SOC


OK, everyone who says you should work in hospitality has never wprked in hospitality. It is bad money for too much work.

i have worked in hospitality for over 10 yrs, and hey it pays the bills and i love it!. im now a qualified chef. ive also been a barman, waiter, even a dish-pig. what point myself and a few others were trying to make is that , when the "shit hits the fan" job wise, a job in hospitalty is a job most ppl can get /do for a period of time till u get another job! im not saying it aint hard work, long hours or anything, just it can pay the bills when u need money. sometimes ppl need to swallow thier pride.

i have a real good friend who has been out of work for over 18 months now. it has effected his relationship with his GF, friends and parents! he is too proud/pigheaded to get off his arse and apply for other types of jobs. other than IT!
his problem is that after being unemployed for 18months he is beginning to lose his connections to the outside world/ business practices and therefore is finding it harder to get work. he is also get very disheartened when he gets knocked back for a job, making the situation even worse!

[KrisEz]

bamp

[King_Crud]

i hope iadoka got that job being a ninja