Westcrap's chief executive Gail Kelly has made it into the top ten of Forbes' list of the world's 100 most powerful women.

Ms Kelly ranked eighth on the list, ahead of R&B singer Beyonce and behind pop singer Lady Gaga, who is infamous for her controversial costumes and stage antics.

She is the only Australian to score a place in the top ten, which this year is headed by US first lady Michelle Obama and dominated by American celebrities and politicians.

Wow, so you can succeed even if you business is run by incompetent fuck heads. I am a westpac customer and I think they are all fucking idiots.

Twice I have been locked out of my own account because of problems they've had. Once leaving me with no money and stranded and another time $1500 disappeared from my account and no one could tell me where it was. And what did they do to make it up to me? The decided not to charge me a few fees. Big fucking whoop. Why do I get charged fees in the first place? Isn't giving you all my money to play with enough?

Westpac and Ms Kelly. You suck.

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Every day in Australia, thousands upon thousands of emo kids fail at ending their miserable, pathetic existences. Whether it be excessive drinking, overdosing on sleeping pills or the classic wrist-slash, they try, time and time again, to end their lives, meeting with dismal failure every time.

These white, privileged, cotton-swabbed, mollycoddled children, with their private schools, cool toys and enough spending money to buy my childhood a thousand times over, are unsatisfied with life. It depresses the shit out of them that life is so easy. It depresses them that their parents work hard in high finance and medicine to ensure they go through none of the hardships that their parents didn't have to go through, due to the hard work of their parents. They have no despair, no adversity, nothing in their life is holding them back... except themselves.

Humans naturally adapt to their environment. But we also have the ability to adapt our environment to ourselves, something rare in the animal kingdom. If our basic survival needs aren't met, we strive to ensure they are. For most, this means identifying obstacles and challenges along the path to comfort and stability and overcoming those. But what about those without adversity? Should they not accept their situation, their elevated state of being, and achieve actualisation ahead of the rest of their peers?
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This new product from Dettol has been causing me to yell at my TV for a while now. It is just a device that is completely pointless and a waste of resources. If you have one. Then you are an idiot.

I'm not going to beat around the bush on this rant. I am going to keep it short and sweet.

The system is sold to protect you from germs because you don't have to touch the pump to get soap. Wow you say. But think about how you wash your hands.

You press the pump for soap and then wash the germs off you hands. What does it matter that the pump part has germs? Aren't you going to wash your hands anyway?

I rest my case.
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As a man who is quick to anger and is about as stable as a performance of Riverdance in a Cambodian playground, there are a lot of things that really bother me. People who use calligraphy pens, for one. Santa Claus, for two, that fat, sassy sack of jolly. But there's one thing that has really been getting to me for many years now, despite doing its utmost to steer clear of me. Its been getting on my nerves, up my left nostril, grating down my spine and grinding my gears quite a bit lately.

Mongolia.

That chunk of wasteland located somewhere between China and Russia. Science has yet to pinpoint its exact location, but men in coats, armed with expensive instruments, are sure it's up there somewhere. History shows us that Mongolia begins where China built their shitty wall, but since no man in history has ever dared cross that wall, at least nobody outside of Mongolia, we can't be sure. All we know is that they've got an arseload of land and they're keeping very quiet about it.

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Apart from the ABC, Australian television is a stagnant pool of warm turd water. None of our channels produce anything except for brainless crap like home and away, neighbours and various different flavors of lame police/doctor shows or cooking reality shows. It's fucking arse.

While I don't like everything Mr Denton does, I have to hand it to him that he's done more for our entertainment than all the other channels here in Australia combined. And he's got a point that they tend to sit on shit for years. Look at Neighbours and Home and Away. These fucking shit shows have been going on for DECADES.

Mind you, I hated Hungry Beast. That was just too full of hipster fags for my liking.

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A rabbinical guidebook for killing non-Jews has sparked an uproar in Israel and exposed the power a bunch of genocidal theocrats wield over the government.

When I went into the Jewish religious book emporium, Pomeranz, in central Jerusalem to inquire about the availability of a book called Torat Ha'Melech, or the King's Torah, a commotion immediately ensued. "Are you sure you want it?" the owner, M. Pomeranz, asked me half-jokingly. "The Shabak [Israel's internal security service] is going to want a word with you if you do." As customers stopped browsing and began to stare in my direction, Pomeranz pointed to a security camera affixed to a wall. "See that?" he told me. "It goes straight to the Shabak!"

As soon as it was published late last year,Torat Ha'Melech sparked a national uproar. The controversy began when an Israeli tabloid panned the book's contents as "230 pages on the laws concerning the killing of non-Jews, a kind of guidebook for anyone who ponders the question of if and when it is permissible to take the life of a non-Jew." According to the book's author, Rabbi Yitzhak Shapira, "Non-Jews are "uncompassionate by nature" and should be killed in order to "curb their evil inclinations." "If we kill a gentile who has has violated one of the seven commandments… there is nothing wrong with the murder," Shapira insisted.
Interesting article at alternet

As far as I am concerned, if they want a peace deal in the Middle East the answer is easy. Ship 95% of the Israeli 'settlers' to live with Hamas in a portion of Gaza and leave the fuckers to kill each other, they are as bad as each other.
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Burma's army has evaded Australian government sanctions to obtain radio sets from a Perth manufacturer that allow it to scramble its communications, gaining a new advantage against domestic rebels and dissidents and possibly in its suspected covert nuclear weapons program, a British defence journal reports. Jane's Intelligence Review reports in its latest issue that the Perth company Barrett Communications has been selling its radio sets directly in response to tenders by Burma's Ministry of Defence, contradicting suggestions by the company that it was selling the radios to civilian agencies of the Burmese government.

Fucking morons. There is no 'civilian' parts of the military dictatorship that rules that country. I hope they get their asses kicked.



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The United States Forces in Japan have put out a Japanese manga in hopes of swaying the Japanese public about military relationship the two major countries share.

In a August 2 press release, the USFJ announced, “In commemoration of the 50th Anniversary of the Treaty of Mutual Cooperation and Security between the United States and Japan, Headquarters U.S. Forces Japan has developed a Manga Comic entitled “Our Alliance; A Lasting Partnership” to highlight this historical landmark.”

The first issue of the four-part series was released to the public on August 4th on the USJF official military website, and describes “the U.S. Japan Alliance and how the U.S. military plays an important role in this relationship. Focusing around the two main characters Arai Anzu, a Japanese girl, and Usa-kun, a boy visiting Japan from the United States, the two explore and learn.”

The manga combines a cute and humoristic Japanese comic style with simplistic allusions and descriptions to lay out the two nations’ military relationship with in Japan.

Source. Actual manga begins here.... if you can read Japanese—it will do your head in... I'm sure if the Japanese military created a comic with a self-righteous American parent figure extolling (with fucking pie charts!!—are you kids still reading??), the benefits of Japan's contribution to the USA to an obnoxious, brain-dead Japanese kid who can't even use chopsticks properly, there'd be hell to pay... right?

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Australian filmmaker John Safran is so fed up with mormons ringing his doorbell early in the morning that he flies to Salt Lake City Utah and tries to convert Mormons to atheism. Needless to say, the locals were not pleased.

I hadn't seen this for ages and just saw it again today, even though it's probably been posted here before it was ages ago and I think it needs to be rewatched for the LOL's.
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Google can officially kiss my ass. Those low down dirty shyster bastards have ripped us off!

For nearly a year now we have been running Google adsense ads to help pay for our hosting. Last week I got an email from them stating that our account has been disabled and ZGeek is banned forever due to "Invalid clicks".

We are a lot of things, but dishonest is not one of them. Google has a rule that as the advertising account holder, I am not allowed to click on my ads. And I have never done this and it's the only thing I can suspect as the reason.

Google didn't give us any other reason apart from the “invalid clicks” cut and paste email. I appealed it, but unfortunately I got another email saying "We've pretended to look into your account, but we still are not going to tell you what you did wrong or enable your account again. Oh and you’re not allowed to contact us again". Well fuck you too Google, rude fucking bastards.

I suspect it was due to a recent article of ours being posted on Reddit and our traffic tripling in one day. But this is speculation as Google won't clarify. And its really shit that a company can just take all your earnings, call you a dodgy bastard and not explain why.

It really sucks too, because this was the biggest month of earnings ever and Google gets to keep it all because apparently I am dishonest person. Fuckers.

/rant
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Ugh, fuck. I can't express my horror. But I will try.
A movie about Facebook. Fuck me. What could be next? A movie about making sandwiches? Actually that would be kind of cool. I like sandwiches and they are useful.

But fuck! Facebook? A movie? Fuck hollywood. Fuck humans for making this shit. Like do we really give that much of a shit about it? Do you? You do?? WELL DIE IN A FIRE YOU FUCKER.

It's ok, kids that person is gone now. We can get back to being nauseated by this tripe.

As for me, I am going to beat myself unconscious now because I am so appalled that some dick thought a Facebook movie would be a good idea. Afterward, I am going to shit into an envelope and post it to Kevin Spacey for making it.

Fuck.
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The cyberspace safety committe who was put together to review what is "RC" material just blacklisted a link to the 2 girls 1 cup family guy episode. The said episode is available for sale on DVD in Australia, and has a classification of MA.

where do i begin? probably with "see, i told you so." in fact i dont want to even begin giving my opinion on this, because it will turn into an epic rant.

So much for this quote Conroy now go grate your dick you fucking hypocrite

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Yup, and I will do it again.

No one can stop me.

Not even a diet change. I am going to fart. I love farting. I love to go into the server room at work and farting. The mass of air conditioning and noise in there hides and disperses it. Unfortunately it sometimes brings the network down.

When I am home, I like to strategically place my bum muffins around the house so people can walk into them at their own leisure. I am also a big believer in fermentation. If I am going to visit a friend or relative I don't like (which is all of them) I won't fart for days before hand. Just so when I do take that massive dump into their suddenly non-flushing toilet, I can pop out a savory bum snack for whoever has to deal with it.

I also like to run into a room just after a turd and knock one out so people can get a true feeling of my bathroom experience.

When I am visiting people I make sure to fart loudly. Usually into a vase, urn or child's face. This ensures not only do I experience relief, but I am not longer forced to waste my precious time at dinner parties.

So yeah. I farted and as soon as I figure out how to embed one on ZGeek. I am going to be king.
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I bought a Samsung Galaxy S last week. For those that don't know, it's basically one of if not the highest spec and best performing Android phones on sale now.

Coming from owning 2 iPhones, the 3g and 3gs, I was concerned about the build quality after reading mixed reviews. I needn't have worried. It's all good in my opinion. Screen and camera are both outstanding.

There are however 2 BIG problems with this phone.

Check out the full review/rant of Zed's new phone here. ...

I'm rather put out over this Boat people shit-storm happening here. It's such a fucking waste of time and it's pathetic that it is such a big issue for our government.

It also shows that most Australians are fucking stupid.

Tell me, why does the small amount of boat people coming to Australia get SO much publicity yet the illegal immigration through our airports get none?

The stats don't lie. In 2009 there where 2750 people who arrived by boat. Of these, around 80% to 90% were found to be genuine refugees.

Yet at our international airports, there are thousands of people coming in and ignoring their visa conditions or who overstay. Most of these people are not refugees and in an estimate, there are around 50,000 of these people in Australia.

And why isn't there a big fuss about this?

/rant
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Makers of the vuvuzela plastic horns that have become the talking point of the World Cup have come up with a toned-down version after a growing backlash against the din at matches.

"We have modified the mouthpiece, there is now a new vuvuzela which will blow noise that is 20 decibels less than the old one," Neil van Schalkwyk, a partner at Masincedane Sport, told The Star newspaper.

"We hope to sell these at park and ride areas and public viewing areas," added Van Schalkwyk, whose company owns the vuvuzela trademark.

A recent survey found that the sound emitted by a vuvuzela was the equivalent to 127 decibels -- louder than a drum's 122 decibels, or a referee's whistle at 121.8 decibels.

AFP BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ source. Also Ronaldo crieszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz about it too.

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Severe Earthquake Warning is in effect for California in September 2010 People in California have to be prepared.

Heed the warnings of Frankie McDonald. Be prepared! ...with flashlights 'n' stuff...

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A topic for discussion my fellow geeks. A few days ago my work bought Symantec Ghost Solution Suite 2.5 Enterprise System Builder. But it doesn't work. We need to image a bunch of Dell E6410 laptops and this software just won't work. It is documented on the Symantec site as a fault with their software and have released a patch to fix it. But it's not available via the liveupdate and it's not on their site for download.

I have rung technical support. I've asked if could have a link to the patch so I can download it. And they won't give it to me. Why? Because I have to purchase technical support.

So, I've got here software that doesn't work with new computers. I do my own research and find the fix (it wasn't that hard, thank you Google). And they want to charge me extra to fix their faulty software. Is this fair? Or is this a complete and utter rip off? What do you think?
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Yes, this an actual article bagging out a phone OTHER than an iPhone (well I do bag it a little). I will even go on record to say that the iPhone is better than this phone.

I've had constant problems with my Nokia N97. Almost on a daily basis. It will lock itself and refuse to be unlocked without me removing the battery to reboot it. The radio won't work randomly until I reboot it and currently it's taken to "phantom charging" where it tells me it's suddenly charging despite it not being plugged into anything. And then the battery dies in half the time. The GPS is unusable while I drive due to the slow processing speed of the phone.

Basically, this supposed 'flag ship' product from Nokia (who I've been a customer of for over 10 years) have sold me a buggy phone that is a lesson in frustration and the bastards refuse to fix it.

I have sought help from Nokia. I've asked to send the phone in for repair twice but on each occasion I was told all my problems are known software bugs that will be fixed via firmware releases. Which funnily enough, have not.

Nokia has moved on to new phones and totally neglected the suckers like me who bought a N97.

So what's the point of this rant? Simply to express my opinion that you shouldn't buy Nokia. They seem to have gone from Awesome to cluster-fuck in a vain effort to beat the iPhone. It's so obvious that this phone (which was released around the same time as the 3GS iPhone) was a rush job. It seems that from the amount of issues it's had, they totally forgot the testing phase of development.

But not only that, but their famous Symbian OS is like the phone equivalent of Windows 95 now days (iPhone is Windows 3.11 because you can't multitask). There is just nothing out there for it. All the devs have moved to making apps for the iPhone and Android platforms.

So basically you'd be fucking stupid to buy any new Nokia. I would say their one saving grace is the quality of their phones. But it looks like that has gone out the window too.

I would love to hear your opinion on this subject, feel free to comment in the... ummm.. comments. My plans now are to wait for my contract to finish and then I am going to strap a rocket to this device and blow it the fuck up.

Yes, I promise to film it.
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