Today is May the 4th. Star Wars day.
Apparently it’s a day to celebrate Star Wars. But I find this a bit too hard considering George Lucas has raped the fuck out of this franchise.
So lets celebrate how one of the greatest movies ever, was cluster fucked by a complete douchebag.
Fuck you George Lucas.
1. Han Solo shot first.
For some reason Lucas wanted to tone down the bad-ass nature of Han Solo. Why? Well he’s come up with some dumb excuses including, “That’s how it’s aways been”. Fuck you George Lucas.
2. Turning Darth Vader into a bitch.
How can Darth Vader go from intergalactic bad guy into a whiney little bitch? George Lucas knows.
3. Padme dies from a broken heart.
Lamest excuse for a death ever. Shit, in a society that can rebuild a man from scraps. She dies because she’s upset. Fuck off Lucas.
4. Star Wars Kinect
Way to go George, turn the darkest, most dramatic scene in the whole series into a ghey dance off.
Doing the Han Solo? Fuck you George Lucas.
5. George Lucas
George Lucas is a smart man. But also a man with his head firmly wedged up his ass. Not only is he a hypocrite. But the guy has put marketing and selling Star Wars crap before his movies. He doesn’t care about his fans. And yet, he could easily silence all the criticism by releasing the Original Star Wars series in its untouched form. But he refuses to do so. So fuck him.