Uncle Joe

Hello little girl, you don't want that baby do you?.. and you cant afford to see a doctor or want face the public embarrassment?. We here at Uncle Joe's Abortion Clinic are specialist in aborting babies.

We are a cheap "alternative" from main stream clinics using old fashion methods and good old fashion know-how. I am certified by the NRA, DMC and Blockbuster Video and there fore more than qualifies to remove unborn foetus's from the "deep fry". If you've got a bun in the oven, let me help you out! I'll remove the bun, slice it up, toast it and have it for breakfast, yummo!

Or clinic is BYOB Bring Your Own Bucket, and we are fully secure too!. We don't have the problem of those no-good-rabid-horse-licking Right to Lifer's since we implemented the "buckshot policy". What this means is if any of them arrive to taunt our guests, we fill them full of buckshot. This seems to take the wind out of their no-good bags. PLEASE! Call before you arrive, old Neds eyes are not what they used to be.

If you are interested in our services but want to know more CLICK HERE to read our FAQ.

Nurse Task

Our friendly nurse Task will make your stay as comfortable as possible. Nurse Task is qualified in Massage, Abortions, Avon, Tai-chi, Amway and operating heavy equipment. With over 5 Years of medical experience between us, its not just the machines that look strange.

We also cater for those whom don't want to come to us, we have a fully working mobile unit that is cunningly disguised as a hill billy trailer, so we can blend into your trailer park for a home visit. You can be in and out (pardon the pun) back to watch Jerry Springer in no time. Every 10th customer gets a free 6 pack and all!

Mobile Unit #1

One thing we can do to lighten your day after you have killed your baby, is to either put the foetus in a jar of rubbing alcohol to preserve the moment, or we can post the bio-matter to an address of your choice. Imagine the laughs to be had with this option, and at a reasonable price too.

The Internet and Abortions
We are also a company that is imbracing the internet, at this time we are setting up web cams in waiting rooms and operating rooms in an effort to show that abortions are not just coke bottles and coat hangers, but can be fun and rewarding.

Don't worry about your privacy, people will need to subscribe to gain access to these web cams. CLICK HERE for more information.

Money Back Guarantee
We also offer a money back guarantee on all abortions, if you are not happy we'll give you your money back and use our Patented Fertilizing, Under, Controlled, Konditions, In, New, Grounds method to get you knocked up again. I am very keen on this method and I'm sure you will be too.

Our Premises.

Payments
Uncle Joes is a modern clinic with technology you'd expect from such up to date standards. We accept only Cash, please don't ask for credit as a punch in the mouth often offends and it does tend to upset Nurse Task.

Education
We also offer "behind the scenes" tours for school and church groups. For a modest fee you will be shown a video on how babies are made and the choices that come with having a baby. You will then witness a live abortion and the processing of the foetal remains up to the time of shipping to the dog food processing plant. Tours of this plant are available as well for an extra fee.

Our Surgery.

The Clinic
Our Clinic is located in downtown Whiterock Texas, and was once a school for the local children of the neighboring trailer park. Since the tradgic fire that destroyed the trailer park the school was handed to us in a game of "chance" and has been operating since then. Since we a virtually surrounded by trailer parks the business has been growing and growing so we can now afford one of the cleanest and most modern clinics this side of the creek.

Prices
As of 02/02/01 our pricing is as such:
Single - $25.00
Twins - $45.00
Triplettes - $75.00
Demonic Spawn - $125.00 (includes special stick hire).

Remember our money back Guarantee, and our new implanting methods are free of charge also.
Please note that replanting of demonic spawn cannot be done for obvious reasons.

Young Harlots
Lets face it, most of our customers are young harlots forced into these situations by brain dead snake worshiping, pick up truck driving, beer swilling rednecks with more fire power than sense. So we have introduced a pre paid abortion plan.

Simply by paying a monthly fee of $9.95, you can get an abortion at anytime needed. A free 6 pack of bud is included too!

These are examples of young Harlots who will possibly need an abortion by us in the near future.

Jessica-Ann Bulgeog Hussy	Mary-Ann Smith Floozy	Sally-Ann Dodger Brazen Hussy	Barry-Ann Smith Back Seat Queen

Please feel free to leave a message for us in the Guestbook.

So if you need an abortion, give us a call on 555-ABORTIONSRFUN or click here for Further Information on this site.